**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Chapter 1

Forever and Always

Once upon a time I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye
We caught onto something, I hold on to the night
You looked me in the eye and told me you loved me
Were you just kidding cause it seems to me
This thing is breaking down we almost never speak
I don't feel welcome anymore, baby what happened please tell me
Cause one second it was perfect and now you're half way out the door

And I stare at the phone and he still hasn't called
And you feel so low you can't feel nothin at all
And you flash back to when he said forever and always
And it rains in your bedroom everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
Cause I was there when you said forever and always

"Forever and Always" - Taylor Swift

.

~.~

.

BPOV

Being at the young age of seventeen, you wouldn't think that love would mean more to you than just a simple word. You'd just think of it as something you'd go through, if you were lucky, when you were older. Say in your early twenties, if that. But at seventeen, to not only fall irrevocably in love with your perfect half, but to lose that one person just as your dreams were finally coming true, are enough to send you spiraling in pain for the rest of your life.

~.~

Forks, Washington was a tiny town, small population of people living within it. And those people were usually the same families who had earlier generations populating the same town years before. So, everyone knew everyone. It had its ups and downs, but Forks would always be home to me.

My mother and I came to Forks when I was 9 years old, her main motive in coming back to repair her relationship with my father. A father who she'd left when I was three after having a stupid argument with and walking out on. A father who I had never met in my entire life, and really had no idea was alive until my mother came to me a day before we left, telling me we were leaving. As any typical 9 year old, I was beyond pissed. I was losing my friends in Phoenix, whom I'd grown up with since I was a toddler. But in her opinion, this was for the best. Apparently I needed a father figure, as if I wasn't getting along well with just having one parent. So, harboring my feelings, I trailed behind my mother. It was possibly the first time in my life that I'd seen her act so responsible. Her carelessness and mid-life crisis had me really matured for my age. At 8, you would've thought I was a pre-teen. I'm telling you, cleaning after your mother everywhere she went, answering her phone calls and trying to explain to her boss that she had the stomach flu, keeping her away from work while not having a single clue where the hell she was made me grow up far too soon. I wished I could just be like any normal 9 year old, but it was never like that. And I knew it never would be like that.

Before I knew it, we were parked into the driveway of my father's home. Well, it'd probably be better to call it my new home, but it didn't feel like that yet. I'd give it time, but I wasn't all that sure. I looked up to my mom, seeing her fingers flex on the steering wheel as she gathered her nerves before opening her door quickly. Sighing, I opened mine and saw a tall man walk down the steps. He looked familiar, but I assumed as much. I was young when I'd last seen him, but not young enough to completely forgot about him. He walked up to me as I put my backpack around me and closed the car door, his dark moustache twitching as he stumbled with how to talk to me.

Grownups.

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my hand. "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. But you can call me Bella."

His eyes widened and jaw dropped a bit when he saw how forward I was being, and nervously stuck out his hand to shake mine. "I'm, uh, Charlie. Nice to see you again, kiddo."

"I'm not a kid." I huffed, placing my hands on my hips. Just because I was young, didn't mean I was a child. Hello, I did say I was mature for my age.

"Isabella, enough!" My mom snapped at me, and I instantly stood up straight. Even though I did take care of her, she still terrified me. The constant drinking always had her angry, and I was almost always the target of her lashing. The only comforting thing about moving in with my father was the fact that maybe I would've been a bit safer from her this way. I wouldn't out her to my father, which was why I wore long sleeves and pants even in the hot summer heat. That way, no one would see the marks on my body. I would be safe.

I hope.

"Renee." My father looked directly at my mom, the angry look in his eyes mimicking just as hers had been with me. When she looked back at him, her eyes softened and she grinned at him.

"Charlie. You haven't changed one bit," She teased, trying to soften him up a bit with being her charming self, but for once, it had no effect on this man. Men would usually grovel at her feet, what with her beautiful olive skin and golden brown hair, cheekbones fit for a model and bright brown eyes. But this man, this Charlie character, was apparently immune to it.

"Go on inside. I'll grab your bags," He dismissed her, walking by to the trunk of our Jeep and pulling out the few bags that we had. Well, more like the few bags that my mother had. There was only about half of one suitcase filled with my clothes, other than my belongings in my backpack. The other two large ones were my mother's. I was never treated like her child, but rather an extra weight on her life, so she did barely anything for me. That included feeding me, dressing me, and taking care of me at all. I was more like her servant than daughter.

I walked up to the house quickly, a little bit excited to see how everything looked like. My eyes darted around to the living room, kitchen and dining room, the warm feeling of a real home already getting to me. And all too soon, I felt a strong hand grab my shoulder and whip me back to the ground. I landed on my butt, wincing at the pain that went through my body. I was about to stand back up before my mother's hand pushed me back to the ground and held me there.

"Are you stupid, or have you completely forgotten how you were raised Isabella?" She growled, her fingers digging into my shoulder. I bit my lip to hold myself from crying in front of her, which would only make her hurt me even more. "Don't you even think that you can do whatever the fuck you want just because your daddy is here. You know what'll happen then. Do you understand me?"

I nodded my head quickly, wanting her to take her hand off of me before I lost all feeling in my arm. Her eyes narrowed before she pulled away and walked into the kitchen. As I was getting up, rubbing my shoulder to get rid of some of the pain, I heard footsteps coming into the house.

"Hey, are you alright? Here, let me help you." Charlie walked up and helped me up, looking at me worriedly as he looked me over to see if I was alright. I began to panic, hoping he wouldn't see any of my skin that I was trying to cover from him.

My mother walked out of the kitchen, narrowing her eyes at me once more before looking to my father. "The kid's clumsy. She can walk it out."

He asked again if I was alright and I nodded my head slowly, biting my tongue because I wanted to tell him to back off. I was fine, but having my mom around was making me uncomfortable. I was used to being my own self, especially with her gone most of the time. But with her surrounding me now, I had to watch what I said and when all the time. I had already screwed up twice in the last five minutes, and look where it'd got me. I had to be more careful.

Charlie had ordered pizza for us, explaining that he couldn't cook for the life of him. His was the Chief of Police in Forks, so he was working a lot. But he assured me that, now that I was here, he was going to spend as much time with me as he could. And as hard as it was for me to get used to everything here, I started to really like him. He always smiled at me, complimented me when I would say something, those very few times that I had. I knew that he cared for me, and with how he made me feel, I knew I could too. Someday. We were just finishing up before the doorbell rang, Charlie getting up to open it. I turned around to look at the door, seeing an older brunette woman standing there with a small little girl beside her. She looked like she was my age, but I thought her hair was weird. I mean, weren't girls supposed to have long hair? That's what I thought, but hers was super short, just reaching her chin and her bangs pinned to the side. It looked a little boyish, other than the pin, but she was one of the prettiest girls I had seen. None of my friends from Phoenix looked like her. The girl saw me looking at her, her eyes shining and lips widening in her biggest smile and waved at me. I didn't want to be rude, so I half-waved back. I was trying to listen to what Charlie was saying to them before I felt a sharp pain in my arm.

"I've had enough of your fuck ups, Isabella. Sit properly and ignore the bitch and kid at the door. No one addressed you, so you don't do the same. Got it?" My mother was furious, glaring at me with her nostrils flared. I was scared, opening my mouth to speak but no sound would come out. She reached up and pulled my hair, making my head twitch to the side as she pulled harshly. "Answer me when I'm talking to you."

I nodded my head quickly, as well as I could with her still gripping my hair. "Yes. Yes, I understand."

Charlie walked in before my mother could say anything else and she immediately pulled her hand away, smiling largely at him. "Bella, I'd like you to meet Esme Cullen. She used to be friends with your mom back when you were still a baby. And this is her daughter, Alice."

Alice looked straight at me, still smiling and waved again. "Hi! Wanna be best friends?"

I shifted uncomfortably, still recovering from my mother's attack and wondering how to react to the little girl. Every move, every word spoken was new to me all over again. I didn't want her to hurt me, but I knew if I kept quiet that would make her mad too. "I, uhm – "

"Alice Brandon Cullen, what have I told you about being so forward? Give her time, you're scaring the poor thing," Esme scolded her daughter, but unlike my mother, there was still warmth in it. She was teasing her, but being firm at the same time. Esme turned to me, a soft smile lighting up her face. "Hello, sweetheart. You've grown up to be a beautiful, young girl."

"Um, thank you," I said softly, trying to smile and make an impression on her. I saw the concern in her eyes already, but it was expected. But what was I supposed to do? Tell everyone that my mother was really a complete psycho, who charmed her way through everything but beat me like I was a toy? No, I couldn't. I couldn't imagine what my mother would do to me if I did.

"Mom, can me and Bella be best friends now?" Alice whined from beside her, making me smile for real this time. No, she was nothing like my Phoenix friends, but I liked her already.

"Bella and I, sweetheart. And as long as her parents are fine with it, you two can go play on your swing set."

I looked to my frowning mother, who was about to open her mouth and say no before my father said it was fine. She snapped her head at him, but he shut her up quickly. "They live right across the street Renee, it's fine. And it'll give us time to talk alone." She scowled up at Esme, who only grinned smugly at her and slumped back into her seat.

Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We walked a few blocks hand in hand as she spurted off her life story to me. Apparently we were the same age and would be going to the same school the week after, which I was definitely happy about. She walked up to her house, which was a bit bigger than Charlie's, and went around the backyard. Her backyard, on the other hand, was bigger than our house in Phoenix. It looked like a playground. There were slides and a trampoline, making me excited already just looking at it. She saw me staring at the trampoline and gripped my hand again, helping me up as we jumped on it over and over again.

Alice had me in hysterics, falling on her butt when I'd land hard on the trampoline. We'd fall down at the same time to see who would be pushed back up the highest. And we definitely hit each other more than enough times. It hurt, but our laughter made the pain go away.

We were on our sides, doubling up in laughter after I almost fell off of the trampoline when a boys voice boomed at us. "Alice! What did mom tell you about going on the trampoline by yourself? Oh, hi."

I looked up to the boy in front of me. He was pretty big, and definitely much older than I was. His short, dark hair curled up and he had his arms crossed around his chest. I thought he was kind of cute, actually. I never thought much for boys, but my mind was slowly changing. Especially after seeing him there. I smiled at him and waved, about to introduce myself before Alice interrupted.

"This is Bella Swan. She's Charlie's daughter, and she just moved back to Forks. She's from Phoenix, and she's really pretty. And funny. She's my best friend," Alice rambled, barely fitting in a breath in between her explanation. I turned back to look at her with a dazed expression before looking back at the boy and started laughing again when I saw that he looked just like I was.

"Slow down, Al," He chuckled and waved back at me. "What's up? I'm Emmett. Alice's brother. Nice to meet you Bella."

"Same here." I smiled back at him, and sat up on the trampoline with Alice doing the same. "So, are we all going to the same school next week?"

"Nope. I'm in junior high. Eighth grade," He puffed his chest out a bit, obviously trying to look impressive.

Boys and grownups. Two groups that I'll never understand.

"That's pretty cool, but you don't need to act so macho about it." I slapped my hand on my mouth quickly, realizing how rude that must've sounded. I really had to work on my control. And work on some censorship at it. Emmett's jaw dropped, but the side of his mouth started to twitch up in a smirk before we were interrupted by another boy's voice.

"Whoa! Better watch out with that one, Emmett." I leaned my body over to the direction of the voice, this time my own jaw dropping when the boy walked towards us. If I had said anything about not being all that interested in boys before, I totally change my mind. He looked like an angel, copper hair messed around like he rolled around in the grass, but it looked perfect. His eyes were green, like his siblings, but much brighter. He looked about my age, but there was just something about him. My mind was shouting off comebacks, but my body was in complete shock. He waved at me and smiled lopsidedly, making my heart do back flips like an NFL cheerleader.

"H, I'm Edward." His voice was just… perfect, making me gulp loudly. I was still gaping at him when his brows furrowed and he let his hand fall back to his side before stepping closer to me. "Hey, are you alright?"

I shook my head and blinked hard a few times. "I'm Bella, and yeah, I'm fine."

If only I knew how completely wrong I was. But at that moment, I knew that there was more to Edward than what I had seen at our first meeting. If I didn't know any better, I would say that was the moment I fell in love with Edward Cullen.

~.~

I iced my ribs, wincing at the pain I felt. I was starting my first year in junior high the day after, and the last thing I wanted was to cover myself again so no one would see my bruises. My mother's mood with me had only worsened since we'd moved to Forks, but she wouldn't let that get away from making things right with my dad. I still didn't know why she pushed so hard to get into his good graces, but she kept pushing. He was still a little harsh with her and there was no affection between them at all. I didn't blame him. Hell, she was a crazy bitch. But all the same, I never told anyone about what she would do to me. I didn't even know what I did this time, but when she'd came home from work and seen that Charlie wasn't home yet for dinner, she went completely off on me. Her waitressing job wasn't as good as the pay she got from doing whatever, or whoever, in Phoenix. And apparently I was to blame. I didn't look too bad to cover up, other than my cut lip when she punched me. My ribs hurt like hell from those same punches, but the ice would help a little bit. I might as well have been a doctor by then, knowing how and when to treat myself. I raised my white tanktop a bit higher, putting the ice directly on my skin and sighing at the sensation. There were going to be some pretty nasty bruises on there, I knew that for sure. Charlie had gotten home a bit after Renee went off, and I told him I wasn't feeling well so I rushed up to my bedroom, locking the door as I did. Thankful for the joined bathroom to my own bedroom, I tended to myself. I wasn't sure how long I was in my bathroom for, leaning against the counter with one hand as the other kept the ice on me when I heard footsteps come into the bathroom.

"B, you have no idea what Jessica Stanley just said to me. I swear to God, she… what the hell happened to you?"

I dropped the ice into the sink, swearing under my breath at being caught. Edward had made it an often occurrence to climb up the tree outside my window and into my room whenever he pleased. And that's why I made sure to always change in my bedroom in case he dropped by. He still made me nervous and giddy when he was around, but it was never uncomfortable. Yes, I definitely had feelings for him, but I would never tell him that. That would just make it awkward.

But now, it couldn't get more awkward. His face was flaming as his eyes zoned in on my ribs, the bruises already showing. Not only that, but the healing bruises on my arms. My eyes darted between him and the ground, my mind completely blank. I didn't know what to say to him. I couldn't lie to him, but I was too scared to talk about what my mother did to me, and had been doing for years. He probably would've thought I was pathetic. Snarky, confident Bella to everyone else but pathetic, stupid girl behind closed doors.

No, I couldn't let that happen.

"It's nothing, I fell," I said, letting my lips turn up to a small smile before turning back to the mirror and looking back at my reflection. I had never felt so ill in my entire life. His footsteps came closer until I saw his face in the mirror, looking back at me. As Edward grew, he only got even more handsome. He was much taller now, his chiseled face more defined as well. And it didn't help that he was an avid sports player, what with having a big brother who was the same. Emmett made it a priority to have Edward playing whatever sport he could, coaching him in everything.

I felt his fingers softly touch my skin, and I gasped at the feeling. It felt like a surge of electricity went through me, with no pain from having touched my ribs but rather another sort of pain. But it was… good. Nothing I'd ever felt before in my entire life. I looked up at his reflection and saw him gulp, wondering if he felt it too. His eyes were locked to my side, his jaw tensed as he took deep breaths.

"Bells, what happened?" His pained voice and usage of his personal nickname for me brought tears to my eyes, and I bit my lip like I usually did when I didn't want to cry. It had been something I would do as a child when Renee would hit me, and it just stuck as I grew. I never cried anymore when Renee laid her hands on me. Hell, I barely ever cried at all. But right then, with Edward touching me so gently, it made my heart ache. My world shattered, and as I took a breath to try to calm myself, a sob erupted instead. I turned my head away from him, embarrassed, my tears falling down my cheeks. My shoulders shook slightly while I attempted to hold my sobs in. I felt Edward's hand hold my own, still cold from the ice, and another placed under my chin. He gently brought my face back to his, and when I looked back to his eyes, I couldn't hold my sobs in anymore.

"Edward, I'm… I can't…" I cried, letting myself hold onto him as he pulled me into his arms and rubbed his hands soothingly along my back, shushing me lovingly.

"It's okay, Bells. I'm here." He held me while I kept crying, my tears staining his tshirt but he didn't care. He just held me and whispered into my ear that it would be alright. And I believed him. Anything Edward told me, I would believe him. It was always how it was.

I wasn't sure how long he had held, but it felt like a really long time. I sniffed and tried to pull away from him, telling him I was fine but he wouldn't let me go. He was holding me as tight as he could without hurting me. I knew I looked fragile to him now after seeing my marked body, and that was the last thing I wanted him to see me as, but I couldn't bring myself to let him go. After a few moments, he finally broke the silence.

"Was it Renee?"

I tensed immediately, frozen completely as he asked me what I knew he had already found out. There was no need for me to deny it. With the way he asked me, he already had his answer. Edward knew more about me than I knew myself, seeing through me and helping me find my way when I was lost. And that's exactly what he did that night.

I sighed softly and snuggled into his chest more, nodding to answer him.

I would never let him go.

~.~

"Thanks for the ride, Alice!" I leaned over into the passenger side window and smiled at my best friend behind the wheel before heading into my house. Even at seventeen, Alice still looked like she did when she was a kid. Don't get me wrong, the girl filled the curves in all the right places, but she was still short and donning that wicked hairstyle of hers. The annoying girls at Forks High had tried to pull it off, but with no luck. There was only one Alice hairstyle that looked good, and that was on her. Esme and Carlisle had bought her a slick, black Mercedes for her birthday. It was barely pocket change for them now, considering Carlisle had been promoted at the hospital. He basically ran the entire place, and Esme was more than successful at her interior decorating gig. The only downside of everything was that they had moved from living down the street to living into a secluded area in Forks, which made them farther from me. But Alice and I hung out at school and after as well, so it wasn't too bad. And if she didn't drive down, I'd drive to her place with Big Red, the old pick up my dad had fixed up for me for my seventeenth birthday. It wasn't the best working truck I'd seen, but it brought me from point A to point B. And I wasn't picky. The fact that Charlie had gone and done that for me was more than perfect. Our relationship had gotten much better over the years, and we were inseparable. Although, that didn't work very well with Renee, who seemed to just get even bitterer through the years.

Luckily for me, since the night Edward had seen my bruises, he didn't tell. He kept my secret, though he was more than angry when I told him he couldn't tell. He wanted to understand, but he thought that I was being too good to Renee by not acting. But I couldn't do it. In the beginning, I kept quiet so she could finally make things right with my dad. But now, I didn't know why my mouth was shut. Yes, I was still scared like a little kid, but damn, I could've done something. Up and until the night the Cullens had moved, Edward would come up to my bedroom and help tend whatever new injuries I would have. We wouldn't speak a word while he cleaned me up, just staring at each other when we did. As I grew older, I found the whole exchange so intimate, but I couldn't let my feelings for Edward get in the way of anything. I wanted nothing more than to be with Edward, but I couldn't. And plus, Edward and I were friends. And with friends, comes with sharing all of your secrets. Edward never did tell me about hooking up with the girls at Forks High, but I always heard the rumours from the girls. They were all jealous of how close Edward and I were, but I never let that bother me. Plus, they knew better than to try to get off on me. All the anger I harbored against my mother would be unleashed if anyone even did as much as snap at me. I didn't give a shit who was around me, be it a parent or a teacher, I went insane. It only happened a few times before they learned their lesson, but luckily, Edward was always there to calm me down before things worsened. I think the worst it had ever gotten was me punching Jessica Stanley, giving her a black eye, after I had heard her rambling to her skanky friends in the washroom about sucking Edward's dick the night before. I told her she was wrong, that he was with me at the exact time she had said, and she just started spewing insults at me. She was way too overdramatic, so her yells and screams were heard from outside the washroom doors. Just as my fist collided with her face, I felt two arms pull me away and out of the washroom. Edward brought me outside, sat me in his silver Volvo, and waited until I calmed down before hugging me tightly. Those were the small things that Edward did for me that made me fall in love with him even more.

Pathetic, right? Not only do I have a psychotic, crazy bitch of a mother who beats the shit out of me every single day, but I'm completely head over heels in love with my best friend, who has no idea and doesn't feel the same way.

But that was my life, and there was nothing I could really do about it.

I walked into my house, locking the door behind me and holding in the groan when I saw my mother sitting in the family room. I knew my dad wasn't home because his cruiser wasn't outside, so I planned on making a quick escape to my bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and hung my jacket in the closet, turning around and gasping when I saw that my mother had moved from her spot. She was standing right in front of me now, and I could smell the alcohol already. She had obviously drank a lot for me to smell it when she was a few feet away from me, but that wasn't what scared me. Her eyes, they were darker than they usually were. She didn't look angry, her face wasn't twisted in that way, but by the way she looked at me, I had a horrible feeling in my gut.

"Where were you?" Her dead voice made me feel even worse, so I quickly answered her.

"Alice and I went to go dress shopping. Emmett's twentieth is in a couple of days, so she helped me find something to wear," I explained quickly, trying to do whatever possible to keep her wrath away from me.

"Who permitted you to go, and where did you get the money?"

"You were working this morning, so – "

Her growl shut me up immediately as she interrupted. "Did I fucking as you where I was? I asked you who permitted you to go and where the hell you got the money from, Isabella. Answer the fucking question properly!"

"Ch-Charlie did. And I used my own money, I just got my pay from the diner."

"Oh, you used your own money, Isabella? And who said that was okay?"

She looked furious, stepping towards me while I backed up against the wall.

"It's the money I get from working there, so I assumed it would be alright."

I didn't manage to get another word out before her hand grabbed my neck and pushed my head into the wall so hard that my vision blurred for a moment. I could barely breathe as she tightened her hold and snarled right into the face. "You fucking pathetic little brat, that's not your money. I own you, so everything you have is mine. So that means that you went out and spent my money. You stole it from me."

She pulled me to her and pushed me back into the wall again, harder than she had the time before. Whatever breath that was in me left my body as my legs buckled underneath me, but her arm kept me up. With her free hand, she winded back and punched me in the stomach, making me lurch forward and grab it in pain. Before I managed to react from her punch, she pushed my head back to the wall, making me cry out in pain. I could feel something warm on my face, realizing it must've been my blood. This had been by far the worst that she'd gone on me, and I could feel myself slipping into unconsciousness as the pain ripped through my body. I couldn't scream, I couldn't make any sound but cry in pain. I couldn't tell her to stop.

"Don't you even think I'm done with you yet, Isabella." She gripped my hair and pulled hard in her direction, then slamming my face to the wall. She pressed my cheek into the wall and leaned over to whisper in my ear. "You stupid, pathetic brat. I can do whatever I want to you and you'd never say a word. Why is that, huh? You could have ran by now. Could've told your annoying best friend or that fucking boyfriend of yours. Or even your damn father. But I've raised you well, little girl. You know when to keep your mouth shut."

I whimpered in pain, wanting to snap back at her for insulting Alice and Edward, but she punched me in the stomach again before I could even attempt to. She let go of me and my body dropped to my knees as I clutched my stomach. I knew I only had a little longer left before I was knocked out, but I tried to hold on for as long as I could. The tears of pain started falling down my cheeks and I was silently praying for someone, anyone to find me. To hear my screams and come save me. I knew if she saw me crying, she would've done worse to me. But I couldn't help it, there was no way for me to hold anything in any longer. My body was shutting down, and I was losing my control.

"What are you doing, Isabella? Are you… are you crying?" I could hear the surprise laced with anger in her voice and I tried to brace myself for the next impact. Another shooting pain ran up my spine when she kicked me and I fell face first to the floor before she kicked me again. My eyes fluttered closed as everything went black, her continuing to beat me as I started to let go. I could hear her screaming, but also another deeper voice as well before slipping into unconsciousness.

When I opened my eyes again, even though my sight was still a little hazy, I knew that I wasn't in my house anymore. Or on the floor, but rather in a bed. I squinted against the bright lights, feeling the start of a brutal headache, and tried to figure out where the hell I really was. There were monitors, beeping every time my heart pumped I guessed, and this random pole to my left. I looked a bit higher up and saw the IV bag hanging onto it, so I knew I was in the hospital. Problem was, how did I get there? I tried moving my hands, which hurt like hell from all the needles that were in me. There was no way I could lift my left hand, so I looked to my right hand to try and froze.

Barely a couple inches away from my fingers was a sleeping Edward, his usually frowning or amused face void of any expression. He looked years younger than his seventeen years, but I found nothing wrong with it. Really, it was comforting how peaceful he looked. I realized my right hand was better to move when I unconsciously ran my fingers through his hair. He looked so tired, even when he was sleeping, and I felt pretty protective of him right then. To be honest, if I had ever thought about waking up in a hospital, I would've expected Alice to be waiting for me to wake up. Or even my dad. But never Edward.

He started shifting in his sleep, sighing my name under his breath, and I couldn't help but gasp. But I was being stupid and naïve, he was just concerned for me. Him dreaming of me was nothing like the way I dreamt about him. He probably just hoped I would make it through this. I kept running my fingers through his hair, remembering when he had told me how much he loved it, but he would never let anyone else touch his hair. It did make me feel a lot better the night he'd told me that after hearing a rumour about someone catching him in the boys washroom with Lauren on her knees in front of him. I never told him what I had heard, but I was definitely hurting. So knowing that I could do something that could make him feel good that those other sluts couldn't made me feel better than I had been for a long time.

He sighed again before his eyelids started to flutter, taking a few moments before opening them and looking right at me. His eyes shot open when he saw that I was awake, moving his chair closer to me and pushing away the few strands of hair that were on my face. His touch always had the strangest feeling to me, making me giddy but giving me this weird shock at the same time. I played it off like I usually did and groggily smiled.

"Bells, you're awake?" It was more of a statement than a question, but he frowned as he looked my face over before breaking out into a smile. "You're awake."

"Yeah," I managed to croak out and licked my dry lips before trying to talk again. "How did – what hap-"

"You don't remember?" The frown came back as he stopped me from talking, realizing that it wasn't working out very well and my throat was probably sore. His jaw tensed and lips formed a straight line as he turned his head away from me. My stomach sank as I tried to figure out what was going on, and what had happened to me. But I knew that it was bad either way with the response I was getting from Edward.

Okay Bella, start from the beginning.

I went shopping with Alice. She drove me home, and I remember waving bye to her. Charlie wasn't home yet so dinner wouldn't be ready. I walked in to the house and saw Renee in the family room. The smell of alcohol filled my senses until I realized what happened.

"Mom," I whispered, my heart rate beginning to race as I started to panic. Where was she? Was she looking for me? Oh God, I was in the hospital, so I had to make up an excuse with what happened to me. Would she be waiting outside for me, hearing what I would say? Would it be enough for her, or would she get angry again? My throat tightened even more as I kept freaking out, and I tried to breathe but I couldn't get enough into my lungs. My sight was hazy again, and I could only hear muffled sounds through my ears.

I felt something on each of my cheeks, the warmth from them spreading throughout my body. But it was soothing, and I could feel a slight improvement. It wasn't much, but my sight and hearing were almost back to normal. As soon as my eyes were fine, I was met with Edward's face, and I heard him say my name over and over again.

"Bells, look at me," He commanded firmly, and I brought my eyes up to his, trying to breathe but I could barely even get a breath in. "Bells, I'm here. Look at me; it's going to be okay. I'm here."

I listened to his comforting voice and felt my eyes well up with tears, but I wasn't upset. I was rather overwhelmed with the love I was feeling for him at that moment. And when my body started relaxing and I could breathe properly again, I didn't stop slipping into his stunning, green eyes. For a moment, I thought that he must've felt the same way. But I didn't want to ruin anything, so I ignored that feeling and let myself relax under his words. I heard scuffling behind him and felt other hands on me, making Edward's hands leave my face. In a panic, I quickly grabbed his hand with both of mine, whimpering in pain as I pulled against the needle in my left hand.

"Bella! What are you – "

"Don't go Edward, please," I begged, my eyes pleading for him to stay even though the nurses that had entered my room were giving him their dirtiest looks. He looked back and forth between them and me, trying to tell me he couldn't stay but I wouldn't have it. I was too scared to be alone with them, even if they were just trying to help. I needed him with me. "Please, don't leave me."

The nurses hesitated, looking at each other briefly before one nodded. He walked back to his chair and sat down, cradling my right hand in both of his.

"I would never leave you, Bella. Ever."

Everyone was in complete awe when they walked into the Cullen household, amazed at how beautifully the designers had decorated the place for Emmett's birthday. I wished I could've seen everything, but I was confined to the couch in the living room. Edward's rules.

I guess it was only fair, considering I had only been let out of the hospital for a few hours. But it didn't matter what had happened, I wasn't going to miss Emmett's birthday. Over the years of living in Forks, he pretty much became like the big brother I never had. The best part was, even when his friends were making fun of Alice and I, he wouldn't have it. He was never embarrassed for standing up for us, even with us being four years younger than him. Emmett Cullen was different, but in an entirely good way.

And plus, he came down from university to come to his birthday party organized by his family and friends. He could've partied away in Washington, but he let his U Dub friends wait another day instead. He definitely needed some R&R time though, especially with all his medical studying. At first look, anyone would've thought that the big, handsome guy in front of them was just a typical jock, but not Emmett. Not only was he totally model material, but he had some wicked brains to go with it. He took following in Carlisle's footsteps seriously, and that's why he went into following his career path. Everyone was proud of him, and we couldn't wait to see him again.

Problem was, he was on his way and I was completely terrified. I knew everyone had found out what Renee had done, and that it was going on for years. When I had gotten home, Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the driveway again. I was abso-fucking-lutely terrified, wondering if Renee was still in the house. But when Edward brought me inside, he told me that she was gone. And that Charlie was out taking care of something, which I assumed was related to Renee, and that he would be at the party tonight.

I didn't want everyone to know. I was embarrassed, to say the least. But what helped me out a bit was that no one had brought it up. No one looked at me weird, and no one had questions on why I was all taped up. Or where the stitches on my head came from. Or why my lip was busted.

God, I looked like a fucking mess.

But Edward assured me that I looked beautiful when I walked out of my bedroom, wearing the new dress Alice and I had gone out to buy. It was strapless, fitted until just above my waist and then flowed out to right above my knees. Edward had always complimented me on how much he liked blue on me, so that's what colour I chose. It was simple, the lace along the fitted part the only thing that kept it from being too plain. But I liked it, and blushed when Edward had agreed before helping me down the stairs.

So, anyways, according to Edward, if I were to go to the party I would have to adhere by his own rules.

Rule number one: I don't move from the couch. If I need anything, I'm to ask him and he'll get it for me. He'd only leave the living room if he were to get something, but he would stay other than that.

Rule number two: I was not to answer anyone's questions, if they brought it up, about what happened to me. According to him, "it's none of their fucking business". I told him I obviously couldn't say that, so he said to just ignore them or make a witty comeback. Yeah, I was good at those, so that was fine.

Rule number three: Do NOT move from the couch.

He made that really clear. I mean, the same rule repeated twice, so obviously he was serious. And after what he'd done for me, I wouldn't have denied him. He didn't go into how I got to the hospital. Hell, he'd changed the subject more times than I could count when I would bring it up, but I knew it had to do with him somehow. Alice started to cry when I walked into the house and started talking about it, but Edward quieted her quickly before she could say anything. Esme and Carlisle didn't say a word, but instead hugged me gently like I was about to break, and I saw Esme's shoulders shake when Carlisle had pulled her into his arms once we'd walked away.

There was something going on, I knew it. And I needed to find out.

I started to plan things out, backup plans to my own backup plans starting to form before I heard everyone yell 'Surprise!' in the other room. I looked up and saw everyone cheering before it went silent too soon. They started to huddle to the wall, and Edward yelling Emmett's name angrily before seeing him emerge out of the crowd. He pushed the last person out of the way, trying not to be harsh but it still scared me when they were stumbling to the wall, and then he froze when he saw me. I swallowed nervously and said hi to him.

"Don't you fucking do that, Bella. I swear to God, don't you even try to act like there's nothing going on," He growled, and I saw Edward come up from behind him, his eyes narrowed as he grabbed Emmet's arm. He told him to stop before Emmett wretched his arm out of his grip and pointed his finger right at his face. "Don't you fucking dare, Edward. I won't sit here and pretend to enjoy myself like the rest of you."

He stomped his way to where I was sitting, and I instinctively pushed myself back further into the couch, trying to brace myself for whatever was coming, but found myself in pain instead. I gasped, but it sounded more like I had sobbed, and my eyes started to tear.

No, no. This isn't happening.

I didn't know why I was scared, it was only Emmett. But from having this same thing happen every time before Renee would beat me, it was an immediate reflex. When I looked up at Emmett though, I realized it was the wrong one. He stood like a statue in front of me, jaw dropped, his deep breaths the only sound in the room other than the whispers of Esme and Carlisle as they sent everyone into the other room. Emmett took a small step towards me, watching if I would sink back again, but I didn't. I sat there motionless, waiting for whatever he would do. Me not flinching again gave him enough courage to slowly come right to me, kneeling in front of me. His eyes ran over my body, looking at the marks on my arms and the other injuries on me before looking back to me.

"Bella," he said softly, which was unusual for Emmett. "I would never hurt you."

A treacherous tear fell when I realized that me pulling back upset him. I had hurt him. Emmett, one of my best friends. I knew he would never hurt me, ever. Especially not in a physical way like Renee would do. I didn't trust myself to talk, knowing I would've started sobbing right there, so I nodded and gave him a small smile. Instead of him smiling back though, his eyes started to glisten with his own tears, which was another thing that was very unlike Emmett. My heart was breaking just watching him.

"But I am mad at you. Hell, I've never been so pissed off at you before, ever." He tried to be firm, and I knew he was trying to hold it together, but his voice cracked at the end. "You're my little swan, Bella. You know I'd do anything to keep you safe. Why wouldn't you just come to me?"

I bit my lip, holding everything back, but it was hard with the way he was acting. Calling me Little Swan was one of the names only Emmett called me, everyone knew that. But I couldn't blame him for feeling like he did, any of the people I loved for that matter. Even til that day, I never really knew the exact reason why I never told anyone. I knew I would be embarrassed if I had, which was one reason. I didn't want people to think I was weak, or frail. But I also thought that Renee would change once Charlie came into our lives again. But I was wrong, so wrong.

"If you didn't trust me enough, I understand. But you could've went to Alice, or Edward. Hell, even my parents. But why, Bella? Why couldn't you just tell us so we could stop her?"

A tear slipped down his cheek, and I broke down. Emmett leaned over and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry Bella. I'm sorry I couldn't save you."

He held me, being careful not to hurt me but I needed more from him. I pulled my arms around his neck and squeezed him as tightly as I could, needing him then more than anything. Sobbing into his shirt, I kept crying that I was sorry. That I didn't want to hurt them. That I loved him. But it wasn't enough for me, I would still be guilty no matter how long it took for him to forgive me. Or for any of them to forgive me. I wasn't sure how long Emmett held me until I stopped sobbing, but when I looked around, I saw that everyone had left. I apologized again to Emmett for ruining his birthday, but he told me that he didn't give a shit. He wouldn't let me go, even when I'd stopped crying, until I heard another voice behind him.

"Bella?"

My head shot up to my dad's voice and Emmett let me go before I stood up, running towards him while ignoring any pain it caused. He immediately pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead, his own tears now falling down onto his shirt with my own. Now, the guilt was completely drowning me. My dad had lost his chance to be with his one love all because of me. The whole point of us coming to Forks for my parents to get together again was completely pointless now.

"Baby, I'm so, so sorry," He whispered, gently rubbing his hand on my back. "I can't believe it was so obvious, even the first day that you came. I never knew baby. I'll never let her hurt you again, I promise."

I nodded my head, but I couldn't help but wonder where my mother was during all of this. And even though my dad had promised to keep me safe from her, I wasn't sure if he could do that exactly. She was conniving and insane. There were a lot of things that she could do to get her way.

Charlie pulled back a bit, eyeing me closely but I saw the pain and guilt in his eyes. I couldn't help but let my eyes droop a bit, the whole thing plus the heavy medication I was under having a toll on me. "Damn, you must be exhausted. Do you mind holding on for a bit longer, Bella? I just wanted to talk to Carlisle and Esme about something, and then we'll head home."

I nodded again but yawned, saying it was okay before I felt the familiar surge through my body. "Charlie, I can bring her home if you'd like. I'll stay with her until you get home."

My father's arms left my side, and I turned to look at Edward, but he didn't look at me. Charlie nodded, patting his shoulder with his hand and thanking him. But there was a sort of undertone to it. He was thanking him for more than just bringing me home. Edward let go of my hand and placed it on the small of my back, leading me out the door and to his car. The ride home was silent. The speakers were void of any music, which was the first time since Edward had gotten his car. I gazed up at him a few times, but his face was staring straight out of his window. I felt worse than I had before, but I wasn't able to think about it too much before I dozed off.

I woke up when I heard my bedroom door open as Edward carried me in his arms and placed me onto my bed. I don't think he realized that I was awake, even though I was still a little groggy, and he started to take off my flats. When he did, he sat on the edge of my bed, and I turned my head to look at his form through the dim moonlight coming through my window. He pulled his head into his hands, pulling his hair slightly with his fingers, which was a habit of his when he was frustrated. I pushed away my sleep, needing to talk to him and find out what was wrong. More so, what happened when I was unconscious.

"Edward?" His figure jumped a bit, startled that I was awake but he wouldn't turn to look at me. I swallowed against the fear I had, rolling over to my side, which hurt like hell by the way, and spoke again. "Hey, talk to me."

Still, no answer, and I grew annoyed. He never acted that way with me, and I wasn't going to sit there and feel like shit while he sulked over whatever he was sulking over. I sat up, but turned a weird way which did something to my ribs and gasped as I lost all the oxygen in me. That got him moving, making him spin around quickly and reach out to touch me, but his arm hung in the air instead. He looked me over, seeing where the damage was while I started to get my breath back.

"Bella, are you alright?" He asked, genuinely concerned about me, but I was already frustrated with being left out in the dark. I didn't want to be treated like some pathetic, weak girl, and that's exactly how I felt.

"No, Edward. I'm not alright," I snapped, wincing again when I put too much force into it. He leaned over to try to help me, but I stopped him by putting my palm up to him. "I'm not alright at all. I've had to deal with this hushed bullshit from everyone, whispering behind my back about things that I have no idea about. No one will answer my questions, and no one will treat me like they did less than three days ago. I'm not a piece of glass, I won't break. And especially you, you've barely talked to me all night!"

"Me? You're blaming this on me?" He was shocked, but his anger came back immediately. "Don't you even try me, Bella. I'm not to blame for anything. Blame that fucking disgusting mother of yours, she's to blame for everything. And if you don't want to do that, then blame yourself."

I froze, narrowing my eyes at him as he pulled the unthinkable. "Blame myself? Right, that's perfect, I'll do just that. I didn't ask for her to give birth to me, Edward. I didn't ask her to leave my dad and move to Phoenix, where God knows what she did as a living. I didn't ask her to take care of me, and I didn't ask her to bring me back here. And I sure as hell did not fucking ask her to beat me whenever she felt like it!"

I definitely made him stop whatever he was planning on doing at that moment, his frown still there but it wasn't because he was angry, but rather because he was upset.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all. You're obviously not to blame for any of this fucking mess. I'm just angry at the whole thing. I just wish you could've listened to me back when you first told me and said something."

"It's alright, I know," I sighed, reaching out and running each one of my fingers over each of his, something that I'd started doing when we'd have our heart to hearts together. "I can't say why I never said anything, I still don't know why myself. But I know that I didn't want people to think I was weak, or treat me differently. I mean, you saw everyone in there Edward, that's exactly what they were doing."

"Everyone's still in shock, you just need to give them some time, trust me." I nodded, because I did trust him, before I reached his pinky. Instead of him doing the same to me like we usually did, he intertwined his fingers in mine. I looked up to him and saw the same green eyes I always loved holding back unshed tears. "Bells, you have no idea what I went through these last couple of days."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Edward, what happened?"

He looked away, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly before looking back at me. "I wanted to come by to see if you wanted to see the present I got Emmett. On my way to your place, I passed by Alice and talked to her for a bit before getting back to driving. But right as I got out of my car, I could hear the screaming from inside your house. And I recognized your voice, so I ran in there. The door was unlocked, so when I opened it, I saw Renee kicking you and I flipped.

"I was so fucking angry Bells, I swear, it's as if I was watching everything happen in slow motion rather than doing it myself. So, I went up to her and pushed her. But I pushed her hard, because I knew about everything between you two. It was all that pent up anger towards her, you know? So I pushed her and she fell right on her ass. I dragged her to the washroom, pushed her in there and propped up a chair underneath the doorknob so she couldn't get out. But when I got to you, you were already unconscious. God, Bells, you were bleeding so badly. And your heart rate was way too slow, so I panicked. I picked you up, put you in my car and drove you to the hospital. I called your dad and mine on the way, so he would be there when we got there.

"Your mom, well, your dad found her. I don't really know exactly what he did, but I'm guessing that's why he wanted to talk to my parents. I don't really give a fuck what he did to her though, as long as you're safe."

He took a deep breath, caressing my hand with his free one, looking down at our joined fingers. "Bells, I was so scared. I really thought that I was going to lose you. I wish I could've came sooner, or that I hadn't stopped to talk to Alice. Because none of this would've happened." He chuckled deeply, and I saw the shine of a falling tear fall down onto my bed. "But I can't do anything now. I can't change the past, but I can change the future. Our future."

Edward looked back up at me, and I couldn't help but start to cry again. He reached up with our locked hands, brushing away my tear with his thumb. I let go of his hand, placing my palm on the back of it as he cupped my cheek.

"Bella, I can never lose you. I wouldn't be able to live if I ever did." He took in a shaky breath and leaned in closer. "I love you."

And once those three glorious words were spoken, Edward Cullen gave me my first kiss.

His lips were warm and soft against mine, moving slowly against my frozen ones until I quickly reacted and kissed him back. It was short, but it meant more to me than any other thing in my entire life. He was still gentle with me, but it was all I needed.

"I love you too. I always have," I whispered once he pulled away, giving me one more chaste kiss before he smirked through his tears.

"Hey Bella, will you be my girlfriend?"

I couldn't help but laugh as he changed the mood between us, making me laugh even though I was hurting inside. And outside, for that matter. I tapped my finger against my lips, pretending to be in thought. "I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

His crooked smile lit up his face as he leaned in and kissed me again. "Well, how about now?"

"S-still t-thinking," I sputtered, completely dazzled by him. He leaned in again, kissing me the smallest bit harder.

"And now?" He said softly, his voice deeper than usual.

"Maybe," I whispered, closing my eyes before he kissed me again, but this time grazing his tongue softly against my bottom lip.

"What about now?" I kept my eyes closed and nodded before I felt him shuffle off the bed. I shot my eyes open and saw him walking away, asking where he was going. "You can't sleep in that dress, even if you do look beautiful in it. It'll get ruined."

I nodded again stupidly, still in some state of shock after that amazing kiss. Or, kisses for that matter. Edward took out a pair of flannel pants and tshirt out of my drawer, placing them on my bed before leaving my bedroom so I could change. I went as quick as I could to get my dress off and put on my clothes, calling him once I was finished so he would come back in. He took the dress off of my bed where I had left it, hung it up in my closet before turning back to me. He stood there awkwardly, knowing he was supposed to wait for Charlie to come back, but I needed him near me. I moved back slightly and patted the bed beside me, pulling back the covers and putting them around me. He still stood there, probably wondering what his next move would be.

Boys.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I knew it would've given me a bigger headache than the one I already had. "Edward, stay with me? Please?" He took in a deep breath before pulling off his shoes and walking to my bed. I pulled back the covers for him as he gently settled in beside me, keeping a safe distance away from me. I shot him a look and he sighed, giving in as he moved closer and shifted to his side, settling his arm on my waist softly. I reached and intertwined my fingers in his free hand, rubbing my thumb on the back of his hand. "Thank you, for everything." I yawned then, managing to tell him that I loved him before closing my eyes.

"I love you too, Bella." I heard him whisper as I drifted off. "Forever and always."

~.~

"Alright Bella, that's the last one. Anything else we need?"

I looked over the college application papers in front of me, frowning in thought while I tried to remember if everything was right.

"Nope, I think that's good, Dad. Thanks for helping." I smiled up at him, sincerely thankful that he had helped me. There was no way in hell that I could've filled the boatloads of papers out and finish all the essay writing in time. They really weren't joking when they said to start early.

College, I will never doubt you again.

But I was glad that I did finish everything early, because tonight was date night with Edward. Okay, that sounded lame, it wasn't date night. It was more that I was going to stay over at the Cullen's and spend as much time with Edward as I could. Esme and Carlisle had some sort of seminar to go to for the night, and would be back the day after, so I thought it'd be cool if Alice and I had a slumber party.

That was the story for the outsiders. But really, it was something else.

It was more than a year since Edward and I had been together. Everyone was more than accepting of our relationship. I mean, who wouldn't? We grew up together, our families knew each other, and he treated me better than anyone else. Hell, if Charlie accepted him, than anyone would. After he filed for sole custody, and after bringing Renee to court, he was severely protective of me. I didn't blame him all that much, even when we were beyond furious when Renee had gotten off with barely a slap on the wrist, but it did get a little overwhelming at times. But, he was a dad, it was expected.

I hadn't heard from Renee since that day she got me into the hospital. After some talking with Carlisle, he figured it'd be best if I saw a professional about all I'd gone through. I wasn't comfortable with it, but Edward said it would help me, so I did it. I wanted to be good for him, even if we were still just hopeless teenagers in love, so I went along with it. And it really did help in the end. There was no guilt when it came to what Renee had done to me, or with anything related to her for that matter. She meant nothing to me.

Don't get me wrong, it would upset me at times when I'd go through something that needed some sort of maternal advice. But I didn't exactly tell anyone that, because of the situation being what it was. So I let those feelings slide. I wasn't really angry at her, or upset with her, or anything. I just didn't care for her.

Edward ended up staying an extra year, saying that he wanted to fit some extra studying, but I knew that it was for me. He was just as protective of me as Charlie was. And it didn't help when not only did your girlfriend grow up to be a fine piece of ass, but so did your sister. Age did well with Alice and I, but don't get me wrong, it did amazingly with Edward. I couldn't imagine how he'd look ten years from now, or twenty, or thirty. I was lucky, beyond lucky for that matter. Not only was I in love with the most perfect boyfriend ever, but I had the highest chances into getting into the top schools in the country.

Life was definitely good.

But tonight, I wanted to make it a bit better. I was seventeen, with my boyfriend for more than a year, and we hadn't even had sex yet. I knew I was a bit young, but being with Edward was a decision I knew I wouldn't make a mistake about. We hadn't really talked about it, but it had almost happened a few times. It always started with us kissing, then there was tongue, then there was groping, and then there was nothing.

I didn't know what sexually frustrated meant until there was nothing.

Problem was, I was a little insecure when it came to sex. The rumours related to Edward were kind of hard to ignore. I mean, I'd heard everything. But it made me a bit nervous to know that I wasn't as experienced as he was. I wanted to be good for him, to be good with him.

So I grabbed my nicest boy shorts with a matching bra, threw on some jeans and a fitted v-neck tshirt, running downstairs with my overnight bag to pull on my Vans and head out. Once I'd gotten to the Cullen's house, I saw that Carlisle and Esme's car was gone, realizing that they'd left already, and walked into the house. Alice already knew of my plans, and was strangely excited for me, so she played the part. Edward was still at football practice, showing off whatever a quarterback does, so he wouldn't be back for another hour. I made dinner, being one of the few good things I learned through the years, while Alice helped. By the time everything was almost finished, I heard the door open and Edward's voice call out to us. I kept stirring the pasta until I felt his arms wrap around my waist and a soft kiss placed on my neck.

"Hey beautiful, I missed you." His touch still made me feel electrified, but it was comforting now when he'd told me that he felt the same way. I leaned back into his arms, letting his body heat warm me up. Not that I was cold before, but I wasn't going to not snuggle into him. That'd be ridiculous.

"Missed you too. Hungry?" I picked out a piece of chicken out of the pasta, turning my head and placing it to Edward's lips. He opened up his mouth, and licked the remaining sauce on my finger, and then moaned.

Okay, definitely sexually frustrated.

"Starving. I'll just wash off quickly and be down in a couple minutes." I nodded, leaning up and kissing his jaw, but was grossed out when I felt a sweat bead trickle onto my lips. Edward laughed and pulled his arms off, smacking my butt gently. "That was your fault, I told you I needed to wash off."

I wiped off my lips and laughed at him, winking back at me before running up the stairs.

Dinner went well, Alice and Edward definitely loved my cooking so there were no leftovers. Emmett called us from Washington, filling us up with what was up with him and we did the same. Mine and Emmett's relationship was tighter than it ever had been after his birthday. We had a pretty intense heart to heart the day after when he'd dropped by. He was definitely a topic that was usually discussed during my therapy sessions too. I was hurt that I'd hurt him, and he was hurt that I was hurt, especially that I was hurt that he was hurt because I hurt him.

Yeah, it was fucked up. But we were better than ever, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Before I knew it, we'd finished watching the movie we rented and started to get ready for bed. And considering I wasn't at my place for Edward to climb through the window, which by the way Charlie had forbid him to do once he found out we were dating, I figured I'd head over to his bedroom. I changed into a pair of flannel pants and tank top before walking into his bedroom. He was listening to music, but turned when he saw me come through the door and smiled crookedly at me. He patted the bed beside him and I closed the door, walking to his side and snuggling beside him. Pulling out his headphones from his stereo and letting the music play out loud, he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his face into my hair.

"Thanks again for dinner tonight Bells. I'd tell you how good it was, but I have a feeling you already knew that."

I giggled and poked his chest, pulling my head back to look at him. "I did, actually. But you can keep complimenting me if you'd like."

He quirked his eyebrow, smirking as whatever dirty thoughts were going through his mind. "And what do I get in return?"

Well, time for the game plan to begin. It's now or never.

"Anything you want," I told him softly, looking down at his lips. When Edward noticed, he leaned down and kissed me chastely.

"Well, you're sexy. Ridiculously smart. And you've got this crazy fucking tongue. "I mock gasped in shock and started to squirm but he held me in place. "I meant with the way you talk, dirty girl. But you do use it pretty well on me too."

He kissed me again, gently but he used a bit more force than he had before. I pushed my body flush onto his, running my fingers through the ends of his hair on the back of his neck. He pulled his lips away and leaned his forehead on mine, leaving us to catch our breath.

"I love you," I whispered, softly stroking his jawline with the back of my hand.

"I love you too, baby. Forever and always."

I leaned back and my lips on his, pushing him onto his back and kissing him deeper. My tongue grazed his bottom lip, making him groan as he brought his hands to my hips and pulled me to straddle him. He rarely ever went that far with me, but I didn't mind at all. I liked feeling him under me. He parted his lips and massaged my tongue with him, causing me to moan too. But I knew that he was about to stop right then. That's how far we always got.

But, he never did.

He kept kissing me, harder after every moment, and started to lift the hem of my top and made circles on my stomach with his thumbs. I moaned again, letting him know that it was more than okay for him to keep going, and he did. His hands slowly went up to the bottom of my bra, still kissing me hungrily, and grazed the wire.

"Bella," Edward whispered, but it was more of a request than that. I sat up, pulling up the bottom of my top and throwing it onto the floor. He groaned, seeing more of me than he ever had before, and I went down to kiss him again. His hands ran up and down my sides while I started to do the same to his stomach as he did to me. I placed both of my hands underneath his shirt, slowly running them up to feel every single muscle underneath my fingers. He groaned again and started to sit up, pulling me with him. I figured we'd gotten farther than we ever had, so he was going to stop then, but again, he didn't. Instead, he lifted up his shirt and threw it onto the new pile we were making before grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him. I whimpered when I felt how hard he was, knowing right then that we were going to have sex, no matter what. But, knowing how Edward was, he took my whimper as a bad thing and pulled away quickly.

"Are you alright?" He asked breathlessly, his voice husky, hair a bigger mess than it usually was. I could only imagine how I looked like.

"Perfect," I whispered, placing my lips back on his and wrapping my hands around his neck. Feeling more confident than I ever had been, I shifted my hips against his and moaned louder when I felt him. Edward pulled away and made the same sound as I did, trailing kisses down my jaw and to my neck, sucking on the skin there. I pulled my hands from his neck, running them down his chest and stomach before settling on the waistband of his pants and pulling against them slightly. He immediately stopped kissing me and held onto my wrists to stop me.

"Bella, we can't –"

"Edward, we can," I interrupted him and let my head drop to his shoulder, feeling like shit from rejection already. "Please."

He breathed in deeply, still holding my wrists for a few moments before slowly letting them go. Instead of letting me start back with his pants, his hands went straight to mine after he pushed me back to the bed on my back. He stared back at me, waiting for me to tell him to stop, but I wouldn't. This was exactly what I wanted, and I knew he did too. I leaned up and kissed him, giving him more motivation to keep going. He pulled down my pants slowly, throwing them off the bed and trailed his hands up my sides to my back where he unclasped my bra and threw it off too. I felt a little self conscious from being practically naked, but it didn't bother me all that I'd thought it would. I was comfortable with Edward, and always would be. He kissed my neck, moving down to my collarbone before kissing the tops of my breasts. He took in a deep breath and cursed silently before licking my nipple, blowing on it after and making it hard. Placing his tongue back on it, he began to massage my nipple with it and massaging my other breast with his hand. I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning, not wanting Alice to hear anything even though her bedroom was a safe distance away from Edward's. After spending some time getting to know my right nipple, he moved over and introduced his tongue to my left one.

I whimpered his name, wanting him to stop with the damn foreplay before I spontaneously combusted, and started to play with his waistband again. He let me start to pull them down before moving to take off my panties first, and then getting off of the bed. I heard him open up a drawer and then come back, but minus his pants.

And holy fuck, Edward had been blessed when it came to his dick.

He ripped open the condom package and placed it on him before hovering over me again. "Bells, this is going to hurt for the first little bit, but then it'll feel better. Promise you'll tell me when it hurts too much, and I'll stop."

"I promise," I replied and after a little bit more hesitation on his part, he put one arm under me and wrapped his fingers on my shoulder, using his other hand to guide him into me. I felt his tip touch my heated core, and I moaned again, waiting for him to finally enter me. Slowly, very slowly, he pushed himself into me. I could feel myself being stretched around him, and because he was so big it hurt like hell, but not enough that I couldn't handle. He kept pushing in until he was completely in, popping my cherry right then. I wanted to laugh at that, wondering why the hell someone would relate such an amazing feeling to a damn fruit, but it was definitely not a time for that. I heard Edward whisper if I was okay, so I reassured him that I was, and he put his other hand around my other shoulder, placing his lips back on mine. Pulling out gently, he pushed back the same way. Slow, still painful, but it was starting to feel better. Definitely pleasurable.

He kept his slow pace for a while and then began to speed up a bit, making me moan his name even louder. There was barely any pain left, and I was feeling him fill me over and over again. I lifted up my knees and wrapped my heels around him, whimpering as he went deeper. He pulled away slightly, his bottom lip quivering and eyebrows furrowing as he groaned. Placing his forehead on mine, he started to go faster, whispering my name and that he loved me over and over again.

It was sooner than I'd hoped, but I couldn't hold back any longer before I climaxed, and I felt him follow me shortly. He stayed hovered over me, breathing in shallow breaths before pulling out of me, making me wince. Panicking yet again, he asked if I was alright and I told him I was fine. And I was. Hell, I was more than fine. I just had sex with my boyfriend who I loved more than anything, and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever experienced.

~.~

"No way, you've got to be fucking kidding me!" I screamed, jumping in the same spot with the paper in my hands.

"Bella, language!"

"Sorry, Dad," I apologized, but kept jumping until I saw Alice and Edward walk in the door. I ran towards them and pulled Alice into a hug, squealing a good few octaves higher than normal. I was sure the dogs in the neighbourhood were plugging their ears by now. "I got in! Harvard gave me an early acceptance!"

Alice started to squeal and jump with me as we celebrated my great news, but it was short lived when I saw Edward frowning in the corner. "Hey, what's wrong? Why aren't you celebrating?"

He immediately wiped his frown off his face and smiled, but it never reached his eyes. "Sorry Bells, just doing some thinking. I'm really happy for you."

And that's when it all started. For months after I'd gotten my acceptance letter, Edward had started to become distant. It wasn't much at first, we were still together all the time, and we had sex together too, but I could tell when he was holding back from me. But I loved him and respected his privacy, so I waited for him to come to me.

But he never did. He started making excuses for not being able to see me, and spent more time with his guy friends. It didn't bother me that he was hanging out with them, because I wasn't some clingy girlfriend and I knew he needed guys in his life too. But it was more than just needing some guy time. It felt like Edward was ignoring me, or ignoring something that had to do with me. Hell, I was so damn frustrated, I had no idea what the hell was going on. But I figured being a good girlfriend meant that I would still love him regardless, so that's exactly what I did.

Graduation came up sooner than I'd thought, and I'd gone out with Alice to find the perfect dress for prom. She always had the best sense of style, so she brought me to this boutique out in Port Angeles. I told her of my concerns with Edward, and she said she felt the same way.

"I don't know Bella, he's been like that with everyone. And when we ask him, he just gets pissed off and leaves."

"But why? I don't get it," I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I felt the headache come when I'd try to figure out what was really going on. "He's never been like this before. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Hey, don't blame yourself. I'm sure it'll all work out," She said, pulling me into a quick hug before running off in search of my dress. And she found the perfect one. It was midnight blue, Edward's favourite again, an off the shoulder dress that bunched up around my waist and cut off above my knees. It definitely flaunted my figure, and I felt super hot in it, so I didn't hesitate to buy it.

The night before prom, I had practically begged Edward to come through my window. And when I say begged, I mean I kind of pulled him into a guilt trip about how I barely saw him anymore. And that I loved him. I even pouted, knowing that he obviously didn't see it, but hoped that it'd still make an effect on him. Sighing, he agreed and said he'd be there in 15 minutes. And right on time, I heard him climb through my window and sit on my bed.

"Hey," I said softly as I walked out of my bathroom, sitting beside him on my bed. I leaned up, placing my lips on his before he pulled away. Frowning, I let it pass because he was obviously in some sort of a mood, and I didn't want him any worse than he was. Especially with prom being the night after. "Everything alright?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, everything's not alright Bells. Everything's pretty fucked up right now."

He shook his head again and turned away from me, so I placed my hand on his cheek and pulled him back. "You can come to me about anything, and I'll be right here for you. You know that, right?" He sighed again and nodded, so I waited for him to open up.

"I'm not going to Harvard. I'm going to Stanford." I let my hand fall from his cheek and looked down at it, letting his words sink in.

"But, you said it was your first choice. That we'd be going together," I whispered, my mind denying everything that was going through my head.

"I know, but there were some issues, and I didn't get in. And Stanford's a great school too, so I'm going there," Edward explained and looked back at me, his face void of any emotion. He didn't feel upset, or pained over what he was telling me, not like I was.

"Why wouldn't you tell me, Edward?" I swallowed the lump that was forming in the bottom of my throat and begged for my voice not to let me down. "I had applied there too, I could've picked it instead."

"But Harvard is your dream. I'd never take that away from you."

"But you'd rather leave me instead?" I spat, completely pissed off now that I was with him for months and he had kept such a big thing from me.

Respect his privacy my fucking ass.

"This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you!" His voice rose as our discussion began to get heated and I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling slightly in frustration. Yet another habit learned from Edward, and one that I wouldn't see next year.

"Why, because you knew I'd be upset? Why the fuck wouldn't I, Edward? I love you, and you kept this from me, and expect me to just be okay with it? Are you insane?" I started to yell before he clamped his hand on my mouth and told me to keep quiet or else Charlie would've came to find out what was going on. I took a few deep breaths, willing myself to calm down because I didn't want to fight with Edward, that was the last thing I wanted to do. "So, what now?"

"I don't know," He breathed out, reaching over and clasping my hand in his. "But we'll figure it out. Anyways, I should go. You've got a big day tomorrow."

I nodded before he kissed me chastely once more and began to make his way out my window. I watched him climb down the tree until he landed safely to the ground before calling out to him. "Hey! I love you."

He turned back to me and smiled again, but a sad smile that never reached his eyes. "Forever and always."

~.~

The party at the Cullen's house was definitely better than everyone had expected it to be. Esme and Carlisle, after much pestering by Alice, allowed for our immediate friends to come by after prom, which is what everyone did. Plus, prom was pretty lame, so we left about an hour in. The place was decorated beautifully, keeping up with the Bond theme that we had for prom. Edward had left before Alice and I, saying that he had to take care of something at the house before we got there. I didn't bring up our conversation from the night before, wanting him to enjoy his time tonight with me without any disruptions. Plus, we would figure everything out later.

But why did I have this sinking gut feeling that everything wouldn't be alright?

It worsened during prom. Instead of enjoying himself, Edward had drank alcohol like you would drink water. He stumbled everywhere, luckily not getting caught by any of our teachers, and barely danced with me. I was beyond annoyed at him, considering he barely ever drank at all, but he could have at least kept in check for my damn prom. So when we got to the house and he wasn't there, I was even more pissed off. He left way before we did, having got a ride to our place from a friend, so there was no way he could've been later than us.

I was drinking a beer with Alice in the kitchen before hearing Jessica giggling behind me.

"Did you see Edward? God, he was so smashed. And that chick he was with, she looked like a fucking Barbie doll. Like, excuse me, but you really don't need that much makeup."

I spun around to see her gossiping to Lauren and some other girl I didn't know, so I asked her where she saw him. She gave me possibly the dirtiest look ever before smirking and telling me that she saw him go upstairs with the girl she was talking about behind him. The horrible feeling I had only worsened, and I let my legs take over as I headed up the stairs, straight to his bedroom. I heard sounds coming from inside, praying that it wasn't him. I reached over to the doorknob, holding onto it for a few moments before turning it and pushing the door open.

The pain I felt from Renee punching me and beating me senseless was nothing compared to what I saw in front of me.

Edward was lying down on his bed, his dress pants pulled down to his knees while some blonde was riding him. As the door opened and hit the wall, she immediately stopped and glared at me. Before she had a chance to say anything, Edward took her off of him and pulled his pants up before walking over to me.

"Did you want something, Isabella?"

The air that I had gathered left me again when he called me by my full name. The name that only my mother used, especially before she would hit me. He frowned as I stood there, completely in shock and speechless over what was happening to me.

"Hello, are you fucking retarded or something? You interrupted a pretty good fuck, so if you don't need – " The sound of my slap across his face echoed the hallway, fresh tears falling down my face as his face whipped to the side from my impact. His cheek pinked from where I hit him and he chuckled darkly. "Nice hand. I wonder where you learnt that from."

"Edward," I managed to sputter as everything he was saying to me was ripping a whole into my chest.

"Yes?" He smirked, still swaying slightly from the alcohol in his system.

I looked up to him, hoping I would find him in his eyes, but they were dark and completely lost. "What are you doing?"

He frowned, looking confused as I stood there and waited for him to just explain what was happening. "Well, what does it look like? I'm getting a head start."

"Head start?" I was so confused, wishing he would just tell me what the hell was going on.

He nodded his head and leaned on his doorframe. "Yeah, for next year. I mean, you have to realize I only picked Stanford so I could get rid of you. I'm not a commitment guy, Isabella. So I'll be going to college single, picking up whatever hot bitch I want, and fucking them whenever I please. I couldn't do that with you dragging along."

I took a step backwards, holding myself so my knees wouldn't buckle. My tears kept falling, but I wouldn't allow myself to sob in front of him. "Why, Edward? Why are you doing this?"

He tapped his finger on his lips, pretending to be thinking. "You know, now that I think about it, this could've been so much easier. I could've just left Renee to do whatever she wanted to you that day. That way, I would've never been stuck in this situation in the first place."

The next sound that echoed the hallway was the sound of the crack from my fist punching his nose. He yelled in pain and clutched his nose, the girl that he was with running up and seeing if he was alright. Once she touched his arm, I grabbed from her neck and spun around to the other wall, pushing her head hard to it. But the memory flashed back to when my mother did the same to me, and I immediately let her go. She slouched to the ground and I looked back at Edward, who was still holding his nose. There was nothing more I wanted than to hit him again, show him how much he hurt me, but I couldn't. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be like her, in any way.

"I never want to see you again, Edward. You're dead to me."

I turned away and left the two of them in the hallway, in pain, but they were together. And I didn't give a shit if they were. I would leave Forks two days after, spending my summer in Massachusetts with Charlie before moving into residence, leaving all of my memories spent in the town and all of my loved ones.

But most of all, leaving any love I had for Edward Cullen.