|Any Given Tuesday
Author: XoX-queen-bee-XoX PM
It's not about breaking the mould," he told her. "It's about breaking the law." Rachel learned the hard way that you don't always want what's best for you, or what's easiest to get, but that couldn't stop her from wanting it, badly.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Rachel B. & Will S. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,330 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 10-08-10 - Published: 12-06-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5561227
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
just a few quick notes and then I promise not to leave anymore throughout the story. So firstly this will be Will and Rachel, but hopefully classily done. I realise it's not necessarily a popular pairing so if you dont like it then please just don't read it.
This is the first of I'd say about five to six chapters and this one is much shorter and contains pretty much the only singing in the whole story. Also it's M for a reason. I plan on updating every five or six days, maybe a little faster depending on how quickly I get things done.
It takes place I think during/after 'Preggers' but doesn't follow the story line of any of the episodes after that, or even that particular episode's story line, since this relationship is quite OOC and so won't fit in well with the other things going on in the show.
Well that's all I think. hopefully you enjoy
Uncertainty is killing me
You're certainly fast asleep
Maybe I've gone way too deep
Maybe I'm just far too weak
Tuesday. A day like any other, except that it wasn't. The events of that Tuesday were inevitably going to lead to spiralling out of control of Rachel Berry's young life. In less than two weeks, she would barely be recognisable on the inside. Rachel was about to force maturity onto herself at an age far younger than most would like and entirely unintentionally at that.
And yet, with her seated on the auditorium stage, in a position no different to her usual one, with her smile exactly the same as her constant stage smile and with her fingers flying lightly over piano keys, one would never have guessed at the events to befall her in the coming days.
Taking a deep breath, she began to sing.
I never loved nobody fully
Rachel glanced at the boy sitting in the front row of seats and smiled at him. Finn smiled back, ruffling his hair. She found him an intriguing person to watch, if for no reason other than that he so awkwardly confident.
Always one foot on the ground
She had a bit of a crush on him. It was obvious to everyone, she knew it was. It wouldn't have been a problem, except for the fact that he had a girlfriend who had a personal vendetta against Rachel for no apparent reason. She didn't understand the appeal at all, personally. What could he possibly see in someone so conceited and callous?
And by protecting my heart truly
I got lost in the sounds
At that point Finn stood up and made his way up the steps and onto the stage. Rachel's attention slipped entirely from the song and although her mouth continued to sing and her fingers continued to play, her heart was no longer in the music.
Mr Schuester had been with them, running over lines mostly with Finn. Honestly, Rachel didn't really need much help with her singing and she was well aware of it. She liked to be there for Finn though, in case she could be of assistance in anyway. You never knew when having Rachel Berry around might come in handy.
I hear in my mind all of this music
He had been with them, until a stray hand of Finn's while running over choreography for their duet had sent Mr Schue's coffee cup flying and splattering all down his shirt. After some profanities which he had thankfully muffled, presumably for her sake, he had headed for the bathroom with a dismissive wave of his hand in Finn's direction, assuring him that he was absolutely fine.
Now the two of them were left alone and for want of anything better to do, Rachel had decided to sing.
Suppose I never ever met you
Finn was now up on the stage with her, coming over to sit down at the piano with her and watch her play. She felt strange with him so near to her. Her heart pounded unnaturally and she found it difficult to focus on the words she was singing.
Suppose we never fell in love
He looked at her again and smiled his gawky smile. Rachel smiled back. He smelled extremely good and although she couldn't speak from experience, she had to guess this wasn't completely normal for a football player.
The only other males she had been around who smelled noticeably pleasant were Kurt, who smelled of the expensive Gucci scent which she herself had tried on while shopping and Mr Schuester, who presumably had to smell good since he was married. It seemed like a natural precursor of marriage would be passable personal hygiene.
Suppose I never ever let you...
"I love listening to you sing," Finn murmured, over the sound of the notes drifting through the cool, air conditioned air.
Kiss me so sweet and so soft
Rachel's fingers faltered on the keys and she stopped her crooning to stare up at him with her full attention.
She was upset with herself that that was genuinely the best she could come up with. Rachel considered herself an adequately intelligent person and 'thank you' didn't seem like the height of all bright replies. She put it down to the funny flippy feeling she had in her stomach, throwing her brain off a little bit. Sitting this close to Finn, she decided was not something that aided her mental capacity.
She wanted to kiss him. The way his eyes kept darting between her eyes and her lips, she could guess he wanted to do the same thing. She hoped she wasn't wrong, because she took the moment of silence to lean right up as high as she could get and press her lips against his.
The kiss was similar to their first one, not having lost the uncertain, innocent edge to it which Rachel found slightly frustrating. While she enjoyed kissing Finn, there was something about the lack of passion behind it which she found disheartening. In books the activity had definitely seemed far more exciting and invigorating. While it was pleasant now, that was simply all it was, which wasn't quite enough for her.
When he didn't push her away, Rachel attempted to deepen the kiss. Being somewhat inexperienced in the kissing department, she wasn't entirely sure how to go about doing this and was working off a bit of a hit and miss strategy, which seemed like a bad idea, but would have to do.
She opened her mouth and Finn responded by sliding his tongue inside it which she took to be a good sign. It felt odd and honestly not entirely enjoyable, but after a few seconds he seemed to adjust and the sensation became less objectionable. After a little longer she began to greatly enjoy kissing him.
The places his hands touched sent small chills down her spine and she could feel butterflies flapping around in her stomach, making her dizzy.
She was unsure just how long they sat on the piano stool kissing, but what she did know is that by the time he pulled away she was out of breath and somehow without her fully noticing, the top two buttons on her blouse had come undone. Her lips felt swollen and tender and she could see some of her cherry lip gloss smeared on his mouth.
"Oh no," he breathed, shutting his eyes and massaging his forehead as though something was deeply troubling him.
"What?" She couldn't get the giddy smile off her face, no matter how much she wanted to appear cool and collected. It couldn't seem very cool to act like a preteen receiving their first kiss.
He stood up. "I shouldn't have done that. Look, forget that happened, alright? That was a really bad idea."
Suddenly it wasn't so hard to let the smile slide off her face.
"Seriously?" She asked a little numbly. "Again? You're doing this again?"
"I have a girlfriend," he answered apologetically, before turning and walking off through the door.
Rachel put a hand to her mouth to hold in the sob as his back faded into the wings. She had thought for a few seconds there that maybe that had actually meant something to him. Of course she knew he had a girlfriend, and of course she knew that this should probably make him off limits, but if it did, then why did he encourage her? Why did he let her keep putting herself out there only to shut her down?
"Damn it." Tears welled up in her eyes and slid down her face, as she turned around and rested her head on the piano, watching as the drops of water fell blurrily on the keys below her. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.
To her left, someone cleared their throat uncomfortably. She snapped her head upwards, following the noise to find the source of it standing watching her uncertainly. He looked like he didn't know whether to run away or comfort her.
She blinked a few times and tried to get her breathing back under control, since it was still in crying mode and was coming out in shaky gasps.
"Oh, Mr Schuester," she said, trying to act normally, as though he couldn't see that she just been balling her eyes out. He had been watching her for goodness sake. "I didn't see you there."
He frowned and walked over to her. "What happened?"
She shook her head and dashed away the trails of water running down her face angrily. "Nothing. I'm fine. I have allergies."
He sat down next to her and looked at her, without saying a word. He simply sat, looking concerned and understanding and without him needing to say anything, Rachel's tenuous hold on her emotions broke once again.
She flung her arms around his neck and buried her face in his neck. His arms wrapped gently around her back, a hand patting her shoulder comfortingly.
"I- I – I, he said, a-and I and it wasn't, I di-didn't think he would..." Whatever she had been trying to get out – and even she wasn't entirely sure what it was – was cut off by a loud chorus of sobs erupting from her chest.
"It's alright Rach. Deep breaths, it's going to be fine."
"No it's not," she bit out miserably, in between gasps and wails.
"Yes, it is."
Eventually, after a long series of disjointed words and plaintive cries, Rachel managed to regain some semblance of restraint over herself and her weeping faded to small sniffles. Will released her from the hug that he had found slightly uncomfortable, but which he doubted she had noticed in the slightest.
"You want to tell me what happened?"
Rachel bit her lip and used the sleeve of her shirt to try and mop up her tears.
"I got your shoulder all wet," she announced, looking at his shirt, most probably in an attempt to distract herself. "Sorry."
He waved the apology off. "It'll dry. Besides, it already had coffee on it anyway."
Of course it did. Stupid Finn; he had a habit of ruining things apparently. Shirts, moments, hearts, anything he could get his hands on. She should have known better than to kiss him in the first place after what he had done last time.
"I have some tissues in my bag," she told him, sniffing once again and drawing in a deep, shaky breath. She reached down and picked some out of the perfectly ordered school bag beside her chair, handing them to her teacher.
He took them and smiled gratefully, taking a few and mopping up the small puddle on his shoulder and neck. The coffee stain, Rachel noticed, ran in a small V from his neck to half way down his shirt. He had opened a few extra buttons in what Rachel assumed was an attempt to check his skin, which she saw was slightly red. Maybe the coffee had actually burnt him.
She studied the patch of visible skin more closely. It didn't look like a burn; it could very well just be from scrubbing to get the coffee off of himself. He was surprisingly tanned compared to how she had thought he would be, which was a pleasant surprise. Not that she spent large amounts of time considering this.
It was just that any man she had ever seen without his shirt on, excluding models, seemed to have that tan line that came from wearing T Shirts too often during the summer. From what she could gauge of Will's chest, he had no such line. Then again, it could just be the redness masquerading as a tan.
He cleared his throat quietly once again and Rachel realised much to her horror that he had caught her looking and he was bound to take it the wrong way. She hadn't meant to try and check him out, she was only looking for purely medical reasons. But he wasn't to know that and she was hardly about to launch into a full blown explanation. Let him think what he wanted, she decided. Besides, he had a nice chest and if he walked around with buttons undone on his shirt, she was perfectly at liberty to stare at it. Wasn't she..?
In case she wasn't, which she was starting to think may have actually been the case, she looked back at his face.
"Sorry for crying on you," she said softly, accepting the box of tissues back and dropping them absent-mindedly on the floor by her bag. She wondered if her eyes were puffy. And if they were puffy would he notice or did he not care about something so trivial on someone who was just a mere student? Why would it bother him if her eyes were puffy.
But she would notice if his eyes were different. He did have beautiful eyes after all and she meant that in the most platonic way that could be meant. A hazel-green shade that she would have loved to have herself.
"Not a problem. You're not the first." He didn't elaborate and Rachel didn't expect him to, but it did seem a very strange closing sentence.
"Your, um..." he gestured to his sternum area and for a second Rachel raised her eyebrows wondering what exactly he was trying to point out, until she looked down and saw that her buttons were still open from when Finn had undone them.
"Oh. Right." She reached down and did them up slowly, her fingers still a little wobbly from the emotional overload she was suffering from.
She looked up to see his eyes flicking awkwardly between her fingers and her face. When her eyes lifted to his, they stopped flicking and stayed trained on her face. Clearly he felt uncomfortable watching his student doing her clothes up and she couldn't really blame him. Surprisingly though, she didn't feel uncomfortable at all. In fact the whole thing was oddly thrilling. It intrigued her to watch his eyes attempt to stay on her face when there were probably other places he would rather have been looking. How had he noticed they were undone in the first place, she wondered and the idea made her stomach churn strangely and not entirely unpleasantly either.
She smiled at him, finishing up with her buttons and watching as his lips curved into an answering grin.
"I saw Finn leaving," he said then, ruining the formerly nice moment between them. Rachel waited unhappily for the unwanted questions, but surprisingly they didn't come. "Rachel I know it's none of my business, but-"
"No, you're right," Rachel cut him off before he had the opportunity to elaborate on what he was going to say. She respected Mr. Schuester as a person, but his love advice was not something she wanted to hear. "Not to be rude, but it's really not and if you don't mind, I'd rather return to practising now."
"Right." He seemed a little shocked at the abrupt ending to the conversation but thankfully he didn't push it any further than she wanted him to. "Sure. What do you want to practise?"
"Taking chances," she said, standing up and walking over to pick up the microphone Finn had previously been using. She felt in the mood for a song that could be properly belted out and this one was the first that popped into her head.
"Great, when you're ready."
In general Rachel found that singing while emotional produced the best and least professional results. The emotion and intensity in the song were always far more present when she felt ready to punch a hole in the wall, however the notes had a tendency to miss occasionally. Will seemed to notice this.
"Come here for a second Rachel." His fingers stilled on the keys and Rachel's voice died with them. She walked over to where he was sitting and sat down beside him.
"No, stand up."
She frowned but climbed back to her feet.
"It's almost perfect, except it feels like you're getting so into the song you're kind of losing your concentration."
She nodded even though she didn't totally agree with him. It wasn't concentration she was losing, it was pitch; but then he was probably just being polite.
"Sometimes when you're really feeling a song I see you lean into the notes," he told her, beckoning with a finger for her to come closer. She did so, catching a scent of his familiar smell; a mixture of cologne and soapyness which made her want to smile. Cleanliness was extremely underrated in her opinion. Those unwashed miscreants at school could learn a thing or two from this man.
"It's not a bad things, but it cuts off the air supply to your abdomen slightly, so rather than coming from here-" Will waved a hand over her stomach, "-the sound comes more from here." Another gesture, this time around her chest. Her heart froze a little as his hands passed mere inches from her breasts. She doubted he had even noticed; she felt a little disgusted with herself for thinking of it in such a sexual way when it was purely educational.
"Which makes it harder to control the note," he continued, seemingly unaware of her momentary heart failure. "If you put a hand on your stomach you can feel when it happens because the vibrations change."
"Where, here?" Rachel put a hand, purposely a little too high on her abdomen. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing or what she planned to achieve from this but she did it anyway, because her current emotional instability had inspired her to be impulsive.
She moved her hand so it was too low."
"More like here." He reached out and took her hand, shifting it upwards until it rested on her navel, pressing it firmly into her tensed stomach muscles. "You'll feel it when you talk even."
His hand released hers and she found she was disappointed. His touch had made her hand feel peculiarly warm and tingly. It was nice and she wanted it back.
His fingers began to tap away at keys again, the melody of the song floating back into Rachel's head. "Try it."
And maybe this is going too fast
It seemed strange to Rachel that the words to the song just happened to fit with her state of mind right then. It seemed her subconscious knew her better than she knew herself. Except that her subconscious was herself, so maybe it didn't work that way.
And maybe it's not meant to last
But what do you say to taking chances?
What do you say to jumping off the edge?
She could feel the vibrations in her abdomen, just like he had said she would be able to, but it wasn't an overly interesting experience. Not compared to the nice hand tingles of before anyway.
"This feels funny," she said, although she wasn't referring entirely to the sensations running from her stomach to her fingers and up her arm. "Feel it."
Without giving herself time to think through her actions, for fear that she would realise how stupid they were and back out, she reached out and grabbed Mr Schuester's hand, taking it gently in hers and pressing it to the lower half of her stomach. The touch sent chills up her spine and she held it there, despite the clearly shocked look on his face.
The music had stopped but Rachel continued.
Never knowing if there's solid ground below
Or a hand to hold or hell to pay
...What do you say?
Her voice had trailed off enough by the end of the chorus that the words were not sang so much as asked. She wondered if she was genuinely asking the question of her Spanish teacher. What would he say? No most probably. And yet his hand still hadn't moved off her stomach.
Their eyes met once again and held this time. His hand was large and warm and oddly gentle against her shirt. She was struck by a sudden impulse to remove it and feel his bare skin against hers but this was one impulse she didn't follow through on.
Ever so slowly, she tightened her grip on his hand, sliding it downwards. She didn't know what on earth she thought she was doing and from the look on his face, Will Schuester was in the same boat, but still he didn't pull away. He didn't look quite scared, although that was probably the closest word she could find to describe his expression. Whatever it was it was not a happy one. It wasn't angry either though, which was what gave Rachel the assurance to continue sliding his hand downwards.
When his strong, deft fingers slid over the gap between her shirt and the waistband of her skirt, he seemed to snap out of the daze he was in, pulling her out with him. He snatched his hand back abruptly and stood up.
"I should go," he said uncertainly. "I have papers to grade and other things I have to... do."
He said the words and yet he didn't move, almost as though he was waiting for her consent before he left her standing alone in the auditorium once again.
"Right. Go ahead. Sorry."
When Rachel saw him around after that everything had returned completely to normal and although this wasn't her first choice of action, it was far from the worst. She assumed that things could go back to how they were and both of them would pretend nothing had ever happened. It was something she could live with.
But then he gave Tina the West Side Story solo and Rachel knew, just knew, that things were not back to normal at all.