|Marooned by Heather
Author: yoplait2000 PM
Seven and the Doctor are trapped in the Holodeck for several hours and the Doctor's lost his memory!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Romance - Doctor & Seven of Nine - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,525 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12-14-09 - Status: Complete - id: 5580550
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Marooned - Part 1
Rating: A Very Light PG
Summary: Inspired by a challenge by Vell. Seven and the Doctor are trapped in the Holodeck for several hours and the Doctor's lost his memory!
Disclaimer: I love Voyager. Please don't punish me for writing a story about it. Paramount owns everything and I love them.
Large foaming waves crashed upon the glittering sable sand. One more violent wave glided swiftly onto the shore and over twenty wiggling toes. An old rickety, moss-covered canoe lay moored on the shore, tied to a sharp rock.
Seven of Nine and the Doctor padded barefoot on the soft sand towards the boat. It had been the Doctor's suggestion that Seven spend more time relaxing and having "fun", so Seven had reluctantly agreed to join him in a new holodeck program that the Doctor had created.
Slightly annoyed, Seven leaned down and rubbed some wayward grains of sand that had attached themselves to her bare calves. She was wearing a white cotton blouse and tan shorts and was not used to getting dirty.
"I should have worn shoes," she grumbled.
The Doctor smiled and said, "Seven, don't you LIKE the feeling of the sand squishing between your toes?"
"I do not," she replied.
"Well then, just walk into the water a bit and wash it off," the Doctor suggested.
Seven moved closer to the edge of the churning ocean and dipped her feet in. She actually smiled a bit as the waves tickled her feet.
The Doctor watched with open admiration. It was hard for him to hide his exhilaration around her. Sometimes he felt like a lost puppy dog… always wanting to be around Seven. He was sure that she didn't have a clue of how he truly felt – that he was in love with her.
Seven looked back at the Doctor. She smiled softly at him and then suddenly a huge wave caught her off guard and made her lose her balance. Seven stumbled backwards and fell on her side in the shallow receding water.
The Doctor was there in a flash, taking her hand, helping her to her feet and trying to remove the sand, seaweed and other debris on her.
"Are you alright?" he asked anxiously.
He could see a slight look of embarrassment on her face as she replied, "I am undamaged. Thank you."
Seven walked off quickly towards the wooden boat to grab a towel to wipe herself off. As she rubbed the soft material over her damp skin, the Doctor ran up to her and put his hand up to her face. Seven flinched back a little but the Doctor whispered soothingly, in a soft gentle voice, "Just a little sand…"
Seven found herself curiously unable to look the Doctor straight in the eye as he cleaned her off. She also felt very aware of the feel of his warm fingers on her cheek. It made her feel funny… her heart started to pound.
When the Doctor removed his hand from her face, Seven turned away from him quickly and said, "We should start back to the other side before the sun sets, agreed?"
"I suppose," the Doctor sighed, "It's just so beautiful and tranquil here, don't you think?"
Seven nodded to the Doctor but in actuality she still didn't really understand the relevance of beauty. The two got into the boat and began to row towards the opposite shore.
* * * * * *
"Report," Captain Janeway croaked as she strode onto the Bridge.
"Shields are down to 73%. Our friends have been firing non-stop at us for the last minute," Chakotay reported.
"Do you have any idea why they're firing at us? Did you try hailing them?" Janeway asked.
"Yes Captain. There was no response," Harry Kim shouted.
"Mr. Paris, evasive maneuvers. Get us out of here." Janeway commanded.
Suddenly a bright yellow wave emanated from the alien attackers ship and stretched out towards Voyager. A huge impact hit Voyager, sending the bridge crew sprawling to the floor. Bright sparks showered everywhere as equipment all over the Bridge exploded.
* * * * * *
The Doctor and Seven were just pulling the boat onto shore when the huge jolt sent them both tumbling onto the sand.
"What was that?" the Doctor yelled to Seven.
Seven was already tapping her combadge but it wouldn't work. "Computer, exit," she called but got no response.
Suddenly a large electric shockwave, not unlike a bolt of lightning, struck out over the holographic ocean, hitting very close to the Doctor. He fritzed and then disappeared, his holoemitter falling to the ground.
Seven rushed over to where the Doctor had been and grabbed for his emitter. Suddenly, whatever shock that had run through the emitter transferred into her, and with a loud buzz, she became unconscious and slumped down into the sand.
* * * * * *
Seven of Nine's eyelids fluttered and her eyes slowly regained their focus. Tiny bubbling waves were lapping over her feet and ankles. She was laying face down on the wet sand, clutching the Doctors holoemitter. Seven slowly raised herself up, flinching slightly from a pain in her right arm. She looked at it and saw bright red burn marks all along her arm from wrist to elbow.
She tried to remember what had happened…. She and the Doctor had come to this simulation for relaxation. Seven remembered the shaking, the bolt of lightering and the Doctor's program disappearing before she herself was struck.
She looked at the holoemitter in her hand. "Computer, activate the EMH." There was no response.
"Computer, end program."
"Seven of Nine to Captain Janeway," She called but again there was silence.
Seven got to her feet and started walking towards a beach house further up the shore. When she reached the cabin, Seven went inside and immediately started looking for a tricorder or medical equipment. She rustled through the cabinets and drawers, and even looked through the Doctors personal effects but came up with nothing.
With a sigh of resignation, she sat down on one of the beds and decided there was nothing more for her to do but to wait for help.
* * * * * *
"Report," croaked Janeway weakly when she came to.
Harry was just regaining consciousness himself but he managed to reply, "Hull breach on Deck 11. Our warp and impulse drive is down. 6 crewman reporting injuries."
"And our friends?" the captain inquired.
"No sign of them."
"Let's get to work on getting our impulse drive back on line. Janeway to Seven of Nine…. Seven respond."
"Computer locate Seven of Nine," Chakotay commanded.
"Seven of Nine is in Holodeck One," was the response.
Janeway gestured to Tuvok, "Get down there. We need her help in Astrometrics." Tuvok nodded and headed to the turbolift.
"Sickbay to Captain Janeway," an unfamiliar female voice called.
"Captain, the Doctor's…. gone"
"Gone?" the captain asked incredulously.
"Yes, and we have injured here."
"Ensign Paris will be right there, crewman," Janeway said as she looked over at Tom. Paris sighed and got up from his seat to assist in Sickbay.
* * * * * *
Seven was growing restless. It was not in her nature to just sit around and wait for help. She looked down at the holoemitter in her hand. She hated to admit it but she suddenly missed the Doctor. His chatter on irrelevant topics was preferable to silence.
Seven didn't have much experience at adjusting the Doctor's holoemitter – that was usually B'Elanna's job, but she decided to give it a shot none the less. She fingered the tiny buttons on the emitter, and suddenly the Doctor shimmered into view. Seven felt a huge rush of relief rush over her and she smiled at him.
The Doctor just returned a blank stare. "Please state the nature of the Medical Emergency," he droned.
"Doctor, we are in the holodeck. We were both struck by some type of energy blast," Seven explained.
"Who are you, and where's my sickbay?" the Doctor asked angrily.
"Doctor, don't you remember? I am Seven of Nine, your… friend."
"I am an Emergency Medical Hologram, I have no time for personal dalliances. Are you injured or not."
Seven looked hurt. He doesn't remember me - she thought sadly. She put her burned arm forward for the Doctor to examine. "You have 1st degree burns! I have to treat you right away. Where's my dermal regenerator?"
"Doctor, we are trapped on the holodeck. None of your equipment is here. I have already checked."
"I can't remember coming here. That's odd…. Why would I have come here with you? And especially with no medical equipment!"
"We came here for recreational purposes."
"But I've never met you before in my life! What am I doing in these ridiculous looking clothes? Where's my uniform? I'm a doctor, not a toy!"
Seven sighed and sat down on her bed. The Doctor had obviously lost his memory. He was acting differently towards her. Cold, unattached….. it bothered her and she didn't know why.
* * * * * *
"The attack somehow isolated the holodecks from the rest of the ship. We can't transport anyone in or out and we can't use the com to speak to them. It will take me at least 3 hours to fix the problem," Torres said angrily.
"It will have to wait. We've got to get impulse back just in case those aliens return. I don't want to be sitting here dead in the water," commanded Janeway.
Torres nodded. "I actually envy the Doctor and Seven. They get to take a vacation from this mess."
* * * * * *
"Young lady! I demand to be returned to Sickbay," the Doctor yelled.
"Doctor, you are malfunctioning. Let me access your holoemitter and I will attempt to repair you," Seven moved closer to the hologram but he backed away.
"Keep away. I don't trust you. Where's your Captain, I wish to speak with her."
"As I explained before, we are trapped in the holodeck. We can't communicate with the rest of the ship, but I imagine that the crew is working on a way to free us….."
The Doctor had fear on his face as he bolted out of the cabin. He ran down the beach and into the jungle forest nearby. Seven looked after him but decided not to pursue. She knew that he would not get lost in the confines of the holodeck and perhaps it would give her time to work on their predicament.
About 5 minutes later, Seven heard a shrill cry coming from outside the cabin. She quickly got up and went to the door. Coming towards her, she saw the Doctor, clad only in his navy shorts. He had a look of deathly fear on his face as he sped towards the safety of their cabin. Then she saw what he was running from. It was a huge bush pig. On one of it's tusks was the Doctor's white shirt that he had been wearing. It was grunting and had it's head lowered as it charged the cabin. "HELP ME!" the Doctor screamed. Seven opened the cabin door widely and stepped aside to allow the Doctor to enter quickly. She slammed the door on the snorting pig.
As she looked back at the Doctor cowering in the corner of the room, she couldn't help feeling amused. A slight smiled curled on her lips. She moved closer to him and said, "It is all right, we are safe now."
The Doctor looked past her shoulder, as if the pig might pop out unexpectedly at him. Then with a look of indignation he straightened himself, and said, "Well… thank-you. I…. I'm not used to being out of Sickbay, that's all. What was your name again?"
"Seven of Nine."
"Well, Seven of Nine, I brought you something." He pulled some flowering plants out of his pocket and handed them to her with a proud look on his face.
"What are these?" Seven asked. Her chest felt tight and she had a funny feeling in her stomach.
"They are medicinal plants…. for your burn. They will assist with the healing process until we can get to Sickbay."
Seven looked at the greenery. "Of course," she said a little sadly, "Thank you Doctor."
She applied bits of the plants to her wound, squeezing any liquid from inside the stems onto her arm. Then she wrapped her arm up in one of the towels.
"Well, now that you are taken care of, I ask you to deactivate me," the Doctor said.
Seven felt bad. Why was the Doctor's demeanor bothering her so much? She felt confused at her reactions. "Doctor, I'd prefer if you stayed with me until help arrives."
"Your wounds aren't life-threatening. I've done all I can under the circumstances," the Doctor intoned.
"I have need for companionship," Seven said softly.
"But I was not designed for small-talk. I am an Emergency Medic…."
Seven cut him off. "Doctor, please. Stay with me."
The Doctor sighed and looked at Seven crossly. His programming was telling him to deactivate himself. He wasn't even designed for use outside Sickbay. Was it possible that he and this young woman were… as she had put it….. friends? He wasn't designed to have friends. He looked at her. "All right," he said.
* * * * * *
"Status," Janeway ordered.
"Impulse engines are back online. We're working on the warp drive, Captain," B'Elanna responded.
"Good. Any guesses yet as to why those aliens fired at us?" the Captain asked her Bridge crew.
"None, Captain. Maybe we were just violating their space," Chakotay suggested.
"Perhaps. Let's get the hell out of here," she motioned to the ensign at the helm. "Take us out of here, full impulse."
* * * * * *
"I sang opera?" the Doctor asked with wide eyes. He couldn't imagine doing anything besides the medical treatment of others.
"Yes, you were also interested in holophotography. I believe your holo-imager is over in that pile." Seven pointed to the opposite bed.
The Doctor walked over to the bed und rummaged through the pile. He picked up the holo-imager and looked through the view screen to see all the pictures he had taken recently. As he scrolled through the photos, he noticed that quite a lot of the pictures were of this woman, Seven of Nine. There were shots of her eating, working, even regenerating. There were also shots of parties and many had him in the scenes. Why am I socializing? I'm not programmed for that – he thought.
"But why can't I remember any of this?" the Doctor said, rubbing his forehead.
"I believe that somehow, when I reactivated you, your program was reset to it's original settings," said Seven worriedly. "I just hope Lieutenant Torres can restore your memories." Seven was suddenly preoccupied with the thought of the Doctor not remembering their time together. All that they had been through together would be lost.
She suddenly felt a pang in her stomach. It had been 8.4 hours since she had last consumed a nutritional supplement. Seven went to a small cupboard and pulled out a ration pack that she had brought along. She tore it open and bit into the morsel.
"Was I well liked by the crew?" the Doctor asked suddenly.
"Yes. You are an indispensable part of Voyager," said Seven, suddenly remembering the time when the Doctor was prepared to leave the ship to be with Tinkoo and his alien "fans". It was a period of time that she'd rather forget. She had never felt so small, so lonely, so… heartbroken.
"No, but did people like me?" the EMH asked.
"Yes," was her answer.
"Did you like me?" he asked.
"You are my…. best friend," she said, not believing what had just come from her mouth.
The Doctor smiled and got up. He went to the door and peered out, scanning for the ferocious bush pig that had chased him before. "No sign of the monster… or my shirt," he said frowning and looking down at his bare chest.
Seven looked the Doctor over. She noticed that he was quite handsome. She had never really looked at him or any other man that way before, and doing that made her catch her breath a little. What is wrong with me? He is my friend, my mentor… nothing more.
"You are welcome to wear my shirt, if your bareness troubles you," Seven said, getting up.
The Doctor's hands flew up in a resisting motion, "NO, no that's quite all right. I'll manage, Seven of Nine."
"You may call me Seven," the borg said and then she picked up the Doctor's holo-imager, opened the cabin door and stepped out into the approaching darkness. When she saw the stance of the hesitant Doctor she added, "I wish to go for a walk. Will you join me?"
The Doctor smiled a little and joined Seven.
* * * * * *
Captain Janeway stepped into Engineering. It was abuzz with people running every where. At the center of it all was Lieutenant Torres, with a determined busy look on her face.
"B'Elanna, how are things going?, Janeway asked.
"I'll have warp drive back in about 10 minutes, Captain."
"Excellent work B'Elanna. When you're done with that, see if you can free our two hideaways on the holodeck," the Captain ordered as she moved towards the exit.
"Yes, Ma'am," B'Elanna said loudly. She rubbed her ridged forehead. What a hell of a day – she thought.
* * * * * *
The sunset was truly gorgeous. Even Seven marveled at it's beauty. I must be becoming more human – she thought. Looking down at the holo-imager in her hand, she decided that she should record some of these images for later enjoyment. As she snapped some images, another thought formed in her head. "Doctor, please stand over there. I wish to take your picture."
The Doctor obeyed, and with some coaxing from Seven he even smiled. Then Seven set the imager on a stone, pushed some buttons and ran over to where the Doctor was. The first image caught the two of them standing together but apart. For the second image Seven drew very close to the Doctor. For the third image, Seven planted a small kiss on the Doctor's cheek just as the flash went off. The Doctor stepped back, horrified.
"What did you do that for?" he asked.
"I have observed that people often do silly things in photos. I have kissed you before," Seven said. "It was merely a platonic gesture." She wasn't sure if she was telling herself that or telling the Doctor. Her cheeks began to burn. Seven turned and began to walk toward the holo-imager.
The Doctor came up from behind her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Please…. tell me about some of the things we did together."
Seven thought a moment, turned around and said, "Give me your right hand."
With a puzzled look, he complied. Seven put the Doctors right hand on her waist and put her left hand on his shoulder.
"Now put your left hand in my right," she said softly. After he did so, she said, "Due to the computer not working, I will be forced to provide the music." She started humming and pulled the Doctor closer to her.
"What are we doing?" the Doctor asked in a panicky voice.
"It is called dancing. You taught me this not long ago. Now be quiet while I sing accompaniment music."
Seven nuzzled her cheek against the Doctor. He felt stiffer than the last time they had danced, but she felt looser – more aggressive.
The Doctor pulled his cheek away a little and Seven turned her head and looked into his eyes. Suddenly her head began to pound and her cheeks felt hot. She wanted to break away and pull closer at the same time. Then suddenly, she knew what she wanted to do. Her face drew closer and closer to the Doctor's until their lips touched. Seven increased the pressure of her lips and her hands trailed up the back up the Doctor's neck. It felt electric, but the Doctor broke it off. He stepped back, away from Seven.
"I… I don't understand," he stammered. "I wasn't designed for this."
Then with almost the same look of fear as he had had with the pig, he fled into the jungle again.
Seven stood alone on the beach, wondering what had just happened. I just initiated a romantic gesture toward the Doctor – she thought incredulously. And it felt good……
* * * * * *
"Lieutennant Torres to Captain Janeway."
"Go ahead, B'Elanna," the Captain responded.
"Captain, I think I've almost got access to the Holodeck."
"Very good, B'Elanna. Keep working and let me know when you've got them out."
B'Elanna growled softly as she worked on the holodeck panel in front of her.
* * * * * *
Seven lay back on the pillow of her bed. Normally, she would have thought that this action was inefficient but due to what had just transpired on the beach, it felt right. I can't believe I never realized this before – she thought. I have romantic feelings for the Doctor.
Seven kept replaying the scene in her mind. The kiss was breathtaking. The problem was…. the Doctor didn't feel the same way. And she felt a little guilty for taking advantage of him in his mental condition. She began to run through scenes in her mind. All the times that the Doctor and her had spent time together singing or on the Holodeck seemed innocent. The Doctor had never acted romantically towards her. He just treated her as a friend.
Seven felt a little sad. She decided that she would apologize to the Doctor the first chance she got. Her conduct had been unacceptable. She would correct the problem.
Suddenly the holodeck began to shimmer all around her. Seven got up and looked around curiously. Then, a door appeared and Lieutenant Torres walked in.
"Well, Seven. Have you guys been having a fun time here for the last 6 or 7 hours?" B'Elanna said angrily.
"We have not," Seven said simply.
"Well the rest of the crew hasn't. We've been working our tails off while you two have been lounging around in here. You two owe us big time."
B'Elanna looked around. "Where's the Doctor?"
"The Doctor is… hiding. He is malfunctioning. He has reverted back to his original programming."
"How did that happen?"
His program disappeared when we were hit. When I reactivated his holoemitter, he had forgotten everything."
"You shouldn't mess with technology you don't understand," B'Elanna said vehemently.
"It won't help to be angry about it. We should work on finding him."
"That's easy now that the computer is back on line here. Computer, end program."
The beautiful beach surroundings disappeared. The cold grey holodeck walls surrounded them. They could see the Doctor crouched in one corner with his head in his hands. B'Elanna looked questioningly at Seven, but the borg didn't show any sign of recognition. The two women walked up to the Doctor, who got up as they approached him. He still had a look of fear on his face.
"Why isn't he wearing a shirt?" B'Elanna asked accusingly, raising an eyebrow at Seven.
"You stay away from me, and who are you? Keep back," the Doctor cried.
"Computer, end EMH program," B'Elanna said irritably.
The Doctor shimmered out of view. His holo-emitter fell to the floor and B'Elanna picked it up. "I'm going to work on restoring the Doctor's program, I suggest you go to Astrometrics and contact the Captain," the half-klingon ordered. She walked out of the holodeck briskly.
"Thank you," Seven called. She looked back at the holodeck and spotted the Doctor's holo-imager. She retrieved it, and finding that it was still on, she shut off the power. She then exited the Holodeck and headed to Astrometrics.
* * * * * *
Torres had done it! She managed to salvage the Doctors program, but in order to restore him to his 6 year old self, she had to erase any memories of his alternate being on the Holodeck for the past 6 or 7 hours. She had discussed it with the Captain and it had been agreed that it was worth the loss. She reactivated him.
"Please state the…. B'Elanna! Where am I? What happened? Where's Seven?" he asked anxiously.
"Doctor, it's all right. The blast knocked your program off line, but we've got it back now." B'Elanna explained. "Seven reinitialized you but somehow your program was restarted at your original point of activation. You spent 6 or 7 hours that way, but I got you back to normal now."
"That's funny. I… I don't remember," the Doctor mused.
"I had to erase that time period from your program in order to get you back. I'm sorry. Maybe you can ask Seven what happened."
"Is she all right?" the Doctor asked worriedly.
"She's fine," B'Elanna said as she headed for Sickbay's doors.
The Doctor watched Torres leave. I sure hope I didn't make a fool of myself with Seven – he thought.
* * * * * *
"Torres to Seven," B'Elanna called.
"I thought you'd like to know that I fixed the Doctor," the half-Klingon said.
"Thank you for informing me," said Seven.
"Your welcome. I'm going to get some rest now, it's been a long day. Torres out."
Seven punched the buttons on her console absently. She was thinking about what to do about the Doctor. She decided that a straight forward apology would be best and then she would put these foolish emotions out of her mind. Maybe a visit with Tuvok would help too. She felt a slight stinging in her arm and looked down at it. It was bound in a towel. She had forgotten about her burn. Perhaps this was a good time to visit Sickbay and get her problem off her chest. Picking up the Doctor's holo-imager, she left Astrometrics and headed to Sickbay.
When the doors opened, Seven felt sick. Nervousness swept over her for the first time. Straightening herself she commanded, "Computer activate the Emergency Medical Hologram."
The Doctor shimmered into view.
"Please state…. Oh Seven, it's you!" he said enthusiastically. "It's so good to see you!"
Seven felt her knees getting weak. Why was he so irresistible all of a sudden? She didn't want to feel this way. She couldn't.
"I have brought you your holo-imager. You left it on the Holodeck," she said slowly, handing it to him, trying not to act too nice.
"Why thank you, that's very kind," he said smiling warmly. Seven almost melted.
"What's this?" he asked looking at her wrapped arm.
"I received first degree burns in the Holodeck blast," Seven said softly.
"Well let me treat you," the Doctor said anxiously.
Seven watched as the Doctor unwrapped the towel from her arm. He has the nicest hands – she thought. Stop it!! – she chided herself. He cares for me as a friend, nothing more. I've got to get these silly thoughts out of my head.
She took a deep breath. I have to apologize NOW – she thought.
"Well, well. These plants were a good idea, Seven," the Doctor praised.
"Yes, you were very inventful," said Seven.
"Me?" the Doctor asked while running the dermal regenerator over her arm.
"Don't you remember?" Seven asked.
"I'm sorry. I forgot to tell you. B'Elanna had to erase my memory of our time on the Holodeck after the blast in order to retrieve my program. You'll have to fill me in," the Doctor smiled.
Seven just stared. Relief washed over her. Now she would never have to reveal her actions on the Holodeck!
"I want to apologize in case…. I did anything untoward during our time together. I can only hope that I didn't," the Doctor said.
"You were different, amusing," was all Seven could say. "I will have to tell you about it…. Another time."
"How about tomorrow evening, 1900 hrs?" the Doctor asked, never missing a chance to go out with his love.
"I look forward to it," she replied.
She turned and left Sickbay, leaving the Doctor alone with his holo-imager. He put his medical instruments away and went to his desk. Sitting back in his chair, the Doctor thought about Seven. I wish I had the nerve to say something to her. To tell her how I feel – he thought. I can't, though. She only thinks of me as a friend, a guide. She's made that perfectly clear. I have to stop this foolish train of thought.
The holo-imager lay on his desk, a small light on it flashing. The Doctor looked at it curiously. That's odd – he thought.
The holo-imager had captured 563 images in the last day. But I never even had the chance to use my imager – he thought
He faced the imager towards the opposite wall and projected the images onto it. The first few were of a sunset. Then there was one of him. He was wearing navy shorts and no shirt. This looks like the holodeck program Seven and I were running. Why don't I have a shirt on? – he wondered.
The next image was of Seven and him standing a bit apart. The next was of them together this time, close. The next image was of Seven kissing him on the cheek. The next few images after that were nothing but blurs but then he saw several images of Seven and himself dancing very closely. The Doctor shifted around in his seat nervously.
The next image was unbelievable. He saw Seven and himself locked in a kiss, and there was nothing platonic about it.
"Pause replay," he ordered. The Doctor's mouth hung open in astonishment at the sight. In this image, Seven looked like the aggressor, her hands on the Doctor's neck and her leg up against his.
"Play," he ordered.
The next image showed the Doctor turned away from Seven with a frightened look on his face. The next image showed Seven standing alone, looking off into the distance. Then there was nothing. There were no more images with people in it. The Doctor played the images to the end. There were hundreds of them. He realized that it must have been left on, snapping images every 20 seconds or so, without Seven's or his knowledge. He shut his imager off and stared at the grey wall.
My God – the Doctor thought. What does it mean?