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Books » Twilight » Fear Is The Mind Killer
IvoryAdulation
Author of 4 Stories
Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Bella & Edward - Reviews: 682 - Updated: 09-19-10 - Published: 12-18-09 - Complete - id:5589556
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Hello Everyone,

This is my first fic. For anyone who cares, The sexy times start in Chapter 9, while the full on Lemons start in Chapter 12. This story has both Edward and Bella hashing out emotional issues with some other drama thrown in the mix. I know the first chapter is kinda boring but if you'll say with me for a few chapters, I promise you a story that will make you laugh, cry and hopefully, make you love these fuck hot characters as much as I do...now on to the story.


Prologue

EPOV

As I crept towards the piano room, the music got louder. I didn't want to disturb her so I peeked around the corner. What I saw literally took my breath away. Sitting on the stool, facing away from me with the cello between her legs was Bella in a mid thigh black silk spaghetti strap nightgown. I had to stifle a groan so I could continue to watch her. She moved the bow across the strings and filled the room with a melody I had never heard before; it was sensual and slow yet energetic at the same time. Some parts would linger while others would build. Her pitch was clear and the texture she put into the music could only come from one who felt the music. Watching her sway with the emotion of the music, I couldn't hold back anymore. I walked up behind her, put my hands on her shoulders so she couldn't run away, and put my lips to her ear.

"May I join you?" I asked. It didn't even sound like me, it sounded out of breath and husky. She froze and the music stopped but she didn't turn around.

"I thought everyone was asleep. I didn't mean to bother anyone" she said softly.

"I was and you could never bother anyone" I slid my hands down her arms. "What are you playing?" I moved in closer and let my lips graze the pulse point behind her ear.

She relaxed and let her head tip back into my chest exposing more of her neck to me "Nothing you know" she whispered with her eyes closed.

"I want to know" I almost growled as my hands slid to her silk covered thighs. My need for her was growing, gnawing at me; I felt my fingers grip her and the silk fight against my purchase on her legs. Her breathing became ragged.

"What do you want to know?" Her eyes closed tighter and squinted. She would move the smallest amount to turn towards me but then she would stop herself. Her body was molding itself to me and she was trying to rein it in. She was losing.

"Is the music yours?" I asked being that I'd never heard it before.

"Part of it is. The other half is beautiful." she said almost in a moan.

All music has a story, and I wanted to know hers. "What does the music say" I started placing kisses along her exposed neck. "Find out…play for me" and she nodded towards my piano. I was surprised to say the least but obliged. My body was aching for her but my noble side wanted this with her.

"Anything in particular?" She closed her eyes softly.

"Moonlight Sonata" she answered with a strained voice.

I walked over to my piano, started the song, and she started to play with me. At first the notes were short and against the beat but morphed into being longer and drawn out but still against the beat. In the more complex measures she would hold a whole note while in the piano lulls; she would play a quick frenzy of notes. Pushing and pulling against each other but by the end of the song the two parts were completely in the same mood, time and in a wonderful harmony. This was us. In the beginning she thrashed against the melody but over time succumbed to it. As the last notes reverberated from my piano we stared at each other in a powerful silence. She was offering me a piece of herself and I had not just observed, but rather shared that experience with her. I had never had anyone speak to me like she did in that song and I could no longer resist. My more noble side knew that pushing her might force her to cut and run, but watching her sit there so vulnerable and raw but sexy…the more noble voice in my head was silenced.

-X-

Chapter 1 – Interview with Carlisle

BPOV

A fresh start… That's why I'm doing this, we need a fresh start.

I hadn't been in a city since…I can't even remember when. Phoenix I guess? I was 17 when I was sent away, what was that 12 years ago? Has it really been that long? It really has been that long. Now I'm in front of a very large building in downtown Seattle going into a job interview that is honestly way out of my league. I was surprised when a Doctor Carlisle Cullen returned my call, I had applied for it on a whim, I hadn't actually expected for them to contact me…but they did, and I'm here now. I want to get us out of Forks but, I don't know if I can hack it on my own. I have been technically 'hacking' it on my own for three years now but in my small hometown of Forks. I knew everyone there and everyone knew my ex…which was the problem.

The job is a three month contract to audit Cullen Hospital. They're considered a non-profit business so in order to retain their tax-exempt status; they have to hire an independent auditor every three years. I've had my CPA license since I was 21 and audited several businesses but never more than part time, my kids were too young. I've never done something this big.

I stepped into the lobby and walked over to the Kiosk looking for "CHA or Cullen Hospital Administration" when someone pushed past me to catch the elevator. "Well I wanted to disappear into a crowd and it looks I might just get my wish in this city" I thought to myself. Just then a security guard saw the "small town girl in a big city" look on my face and came over to help me.

"What you looking for lass?" he said in a slightly Irish sounding accent.

"Ummm, Cullen Hospital Administration?" I put on my confident 'I belong here' face.

"Twenty seventh floor mam. Take the express elevator, it'll be faster" he nodded in the direction of the elevator hall.

"Thank you", I turned to the hall. If this normal looking guy saw me as a damsel in distress, I'm afraid what the more aggressive inhabitance of this city would think of me. I might as well put a sign on my back that says "rob me".

I squeeze into the crowded elevator and the doors close. Every floor indicator bell makes me a little more nervous; and then the doors open to the twenty seventh floor. I'm greeted by a receptionist where I inquire as to my destination.

"Excuse me; I have a three o'clock appointment with a Doctor Cullen. Where might I find him?"

There, that sounds like I'm not going to vomit on her desk.

"Down the hall to the left, last door on the left" she rattled off without even looking up at me.

"Could you please let him know that Isabella Swan is here to see him?" I waved my hand to her phone encouraging her to announce my presence so I wouldn't have to be so rude as to barge into his office.

"Sure, sure" she rolled her eyes but then picked up the phone. Wow, I thought stupid receptionist were a stereotype. A call came in and distracted her before she completed my request.

I make my way through the office getting a few quizzical looks all the while I'm repeating in my head "don't trip, don't trip" I knock on the opaque door with "Dr. Carlisle Cullen Chief of Staff" written in a formal script on it.

Knock-knock

"Come in" a male voice says.

I open the door to find not one but three men in the office. Two are older looking while one is ummm…..younger looking. When I say younger looking, I mean in a hot for professor type of younger looking. He has almost white blond hair and the softest pair of "daddy eyes" I've ever seen. His physique has tone but isn't overly muscular.

Doctor Cullen's office looks nothing like the grays and tope color scheme of the rest office but rather looks like a turn of the century library. There are three leather couches and a cherry wood desk in the center of the room. Two of the men are seated on the couch against the far left wall, while the blond guy is behind the desk.

"Doctor Cullen?"

"Yes?" the blond guy says.

The young looking guy is the doctor?

"I'm Isabella Swan, the receptionist instructed me to come in here. We have an appointment at three?"

There, that sounds coherent.

"Yes, yes. Come in, how are you? Did you find the place alright?" He said smiling. He has a commanding yet gentle presence. He moves quickly but not in a jerking fashion. He is completely at ease.

"I'm doing fine and I had no problems at all, thank you for asking" I reply.

He moved around his desk and extended his hand to shake mine.

Good pressure on the handshake

"I'm Doctor Cullen, please call me Carlisle and these fine gentlemen are Mister Richard Whitlock and Mister Aro Volturi." I shook all of their hands. Aro had somewhat of a predatory presence. He was defiantly assessing me; looking for something…I can't quite put my finger on it. Whitlock could be best described as a buffoon. He slouched and his eyes were slow to take in his surroundings.

"Volturi? As in House of Volturi, from Italy?" I directed at Aro. I was shocked to hear of such a prestigious Italian family making a home outside of their native land. He beamed with pride.

"Yes child, how did you know?" He had a thick Italian accent and was almost giddy with the recognition of his heritage.

"As a child I had a limited study of Italian history" I returned casually.

"And what do you know of us?" He asked eagerly.

"Not much I'm afraid, only that House Volturi is considered by many to be the longest surviving royal house in the world and that the reign of Carlo Emanuele la terza was responsible for commissioning some of the popular Italian operas at the time. It was under his rule that Mozart was able to write Mitridate re di Ponto, one of his more successful operas" I spoke like I was giving a book report because in all honesty, I felt like I was. Aro posture changed immediately into one of pride, but not at me. More like he wanted me to bow or some other sort of royal acknowledgement. What I didn't tell him is that I knew that House Volturi had been officially de-recognized as royalty by the Italian government after World War II and that many of them had sought out...other means of keeping up the royal lifestyle.

Aro had a creepy grin "I must say it's unusual to find someone so young who knows of such things"

"You would know better than I Mister Volturi"

"Please, Call me Aro" he dipped his head and took a step back.

That means he's done with this topic

Carlisle cleared his throat asserting his position back in the conversation "Mister Whitlock and Mister Volturi are members of the board, they thought it prudent to have some input in the matter"

Mister Whitlock, not having contributed anything thus far leaned over to Doctor Cullen and whispered loudly, "I thought we were meeting with the prospective auditor today?"

"Yes, we are." Carlisle looked confused.

"But she's a woman." Mister Whitlock replied in a southern accent and surprise in his voice.

"Clearly" Aro rolled his like Whitlock had missed the obvious. I expected them to flog me for my lack of experience in this level of audit, not the fact that I have boobs.

Calm, poise, grace.

Mentally checking my body language stance I said in a nice receptionist type voice "I'm sorry, is that a problem?"

Carlisle opened his mouth but Mister Whitlock was quick on the draw for an old guy. "I'm sorry, when we saw your resume; you listed yourself as "I Swan". Since you were applying for the auditor contract, we naturally assumed you were a man."

No that's not chauvinistic at all.

I'd dealt with sexism before, this was a male dominated field but this blatant was comical.

"Are you insinuating that the fact that I am a woman would reduce my competency and capability in carrying out the functions of this audit?" I replied coolly.

You know what happens when you start talking like this, you go into battle mode, you shred them and you don't want to shred this guy, well you shouldn't shred this guy.

"Well it's no secret that women are bad with numbers and math." He said condescendingly.

Carlisle looked mortified, Aro looked amused...still.

I changed to a casual looking stance and in my best sweet voice said "I understand your concerns and to shed some light on your preconceived notion, women are typically bad with numbers and the reason why is because they are routinely told that this" I held my two pointer fingers about 4 inches apart "is 8 inches" I added a smirk for good measure.

Holy. Shit. I. Did. Not. Just. Say. That. You just intimated that men routinely overestimate their penis size. Who was I kidding, I meant to say that. I don't say or do anything I don't mean to.

Mister Whitlock turned about three shades of purple and then abruptly walked out. Carlisle and Aro stood there looking at me with their mouths hanging open. Aro started laughing first, and hard. Carlisle joined in after a few seconds. I stood there trying not to betray my cool exterior while what I wanted to do was throw up. It's time for me to go; I clearly wasn't going to get the job.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time. Good luck in your search." I turned to leave but Carlisle caught my shoulder.

"Wait!" Carlisle yelled between laughs. "Please won't you stay? I apologize for Mister Whitlock's behavior." He composed himself while Aro continued to snicker. "Please stay, we can discuss what the position entails to see if we are what each other is looking for"

Wait, what? Seriously? After that?

"You mean I still have a shot at the job?" I asked incredulously.

Aro cut in, "Of course darling" he put a southern emphasis on the darling and snickered some more and we all sat down on the couches.

"Well where to start?" Carlisle began.

"How about the reason for the audit and what type of audit it will be" Aro replied.

"Yes, the Cullen Hospital was started by my father 22 years ago. It was a successful business but after he died, my family and I decided that we would like it to better serve the community. We turned what was Cullen Hospital Corporation into a non-profit entity. Through assorted successful financial ventures, the Cullen trust was set up to serve financial needs of our hospital. We do charge for our services but in order to stay non-profit, all net funds obtained must be reinvested into the hospital or other charitable entities. To keep our non profit tax exempt status, the Hospital must undergo an audit performed by a non-affiliated party."

He paused to make sure I was keeping up.

"Continue" I motioned.

"Yes, because my family or members of the board have dealings with almost all the CPA firms in town, we want to contract out the external audit to a non-affiliated party, such as you."

Aro leaned forward "We were interested in you because none of your limited experience is in the Seattle area. This would avoid the appearance of impropriety"

Carlisle cut in "That's not the only reason we were interested in you." A curious look crossed his face "You state on your resume that you have an unfinished degree in nursing, may I ask why it's unfinished?"

Of course they would ask that.

"There were complications" I said as matter of fact as I could muster.

Aro answered my question. "I'm sorry we have to pry but when considering applicants for this position, we have to know that they will be available to complete the task and that there will not be any conflict of interests."

Oh, they just want to know if I'm a fuck up. I am but not in the way they think.

"I assure you that the situation that caused me to deviate from the aforementioned career choice has been resolved. My personal life will not pose a threat to the completion of this audit." I spoke with a professional yet cautioning tone. I don't think it was enough because Carlisle continued to press me.

"May I ask if you want or plan to return and complete your degree?" Carlisle asked in a surprisingly upbeat voice.

"I don't mind if you ask" ok, that was a lie "I would like to but I don't plan to." For such a nice doctor, he is surprisingly adept at pouring salt in that wound.

Carlisle looked at me with that look on his face that people get when they are trying to figure someone out.

Good luck with that buddy, I've had years of practice at avoiding that. What I really want to ask is why he cares? I'm just a number cruncher.

Aro finally said something. "Carlisle, leave the poor girl alone. What types of businesses have you done audits for in the past?" he directed at me.

After a couple more seconds of trying to figure Carlisle out, I cleared my throat and got back into business mode.

"There are many types of businesses on the Olympic peninsula. My past clients consist of mainly tourist type businesses. Resorts, tour guides, and restaurants. I have audited business that produce tangible goods as well as businesses that provide a service."

"Why would the type of business matter?" Carlisle asked, still having that look on his face.

"Businesses that produce a tangible good will have higher levels of overhead because their productions costs are up front but will also gain a return on their investment sooner. Service oriented businesses will have a different reconciliation process because the accounts receivable is delayed. In the case of a hospital, you have a blend of both. The service you provide is a service and thus when you actually get paid is delayed but you have massive upfront costs to provide that service. You get the worst of both worlds."

"Continue" Carlisle said.

"When using funds from the trust to cover expenses for the hospital, the time lapse between reimbursement and other financial protocols will make a difference to the IRS as to how these things work themselves out financially."

Aro stood up, "well it's been lovely meeting you, and I have somewhere to be." Then he left. There was something shifty about his breathing, but I don't know what he could have been thinking about to cause such a reaction.

Well this isn't looking good for the second, or is that the third time today.

"I'm sorry, is there a problem?"

I'm hearing that a lot today.

"No problem at all. I think it's time for his weekly golf game with the Mayor. So where were we? Oh yes, why do you think you are qualified for this position?" Carlisle continued on alone.

Clearing my throat "Yes well if you are asking why I think I am more qualified than the other persons you are considering for this contract, I have to admit that I don't have the necessary information to make an informed opinion. However if you are asking what I can bring to this position, I would say that my limited medical knowledge will give me an edge in understanding the practical workings of the hospital. It's not just numbers on a page; it's about what is needed for the patients I'm not going to consider the purchase of a second VQ scanner frivolous and therefore not eligible for tax deduction just because the only benefit is patient care."

I paused to gauge his reaction, he seemed…hopeful but still trying to figure me out. He paused for a moment, taking in my spiel. We're both just trying to figure each other out.

"If you were to be awarded this contract, what plans do you have for afterwards?" He looked like he was fishing.

Ooo, I have a professional sounding answer for this one!

"Since this is a temporary assignment, it provides a wonderful opportunity to try the city on for size if you will. I would be able to evaluate if this is the place I want to settle down. The proximity to a larger population would make finding a job much easier and thus would weigh on my permanent relocation plans."

Carlisle shifted position slightly.

He was leaning forward but now he is leaning back a little bit. He's done fishing.

"I have the information I need, is there anything you would like to know?"

Bingo

I straightened up a little in my chair "I have two questions…the first concerns who would I report to."

He tilted his head to the side "That's a very good question. You won't really answer to anyone. If the very people you are investigating are your superiors that would clearly be a conflict of interest. I will be your liaison to the board and the entire accounting staff will be at your disposal to procure any records you may need. How you perform the audit will be at your discretion and we will provide you an office on site to facilitate this. We have monthly board meetings but with the beginning of the fiscal year coming up, the needs for budget allocation compromises are pressing so we have semi-monthly meetings. The board would like progress reports during these meetings but other than that, you have no superior."

No wonder this is a temporary job, it's too good to be true.

"And what was your second question?" he continued.

"Yes of course. What hours would you expect me to keep?"

"That is under your discretion. As long as the board is pleased with your progress, you may keep whatever hours you wish."

"That's all for me, is there anything else you want to ask me?"

Carlisle stood up as I followed. "Thank you for coming in Miss Swan, I'll talk to the board members and you will have our answer shortly."

Putting out my hand to shake his, I said the token "thank you for your time" lines and we parted ways.

I walked down the hallway headed for the privacy of an empty elevator. In my time since the divorce, I've become somewhat of a recluse…I'm not used to talking to adults for such an extended period of time, I think the adrenalin was the only thing keeping me going, well that and my training.

Am I really that bad? I can't go through one job interview without reaching my people limit? This isn't good. If I don't do something about it, I'm going to end up like some weird cat lady who yells at people to get off her lawn.

I push the button and the door opens to the most gorgeous man I have ever laid eyes on. Tussled bronze sex hair, piercing green eyes, chiseled jaw, flawless skin.

Since when are they putting Gucci ads in the elevators? What is it with this place, first it's blond hair and now its green eyes?

I waited for him to exit, he didn't move so I go to enter the elevator with the sex hair creature and trip. Full on splat, right on his Wingtip shoes.

Shit, I hate it when I don't pay enough attention to stay upright. Damn sex hair distracting me.

I wasn't always clumsy; it was an…acquired condition. To compensate for it, I learned that if I allocate more than average brain power to walking and not tripping, I can stay upright. It's only when I don't think about it that I trip…frequently.

"Miss, are you alright?" he says apathetically. He stoops down to help me up; I tried to get up at just the wrong moment because as a result, my hair got caught in his belt buckle in the process. He went to stand up and almost pulled a good chunk of my hair out.

"OW, ow, ow!" I cried and grabbed onto his thighs trying to relieve the pull on my hair.

"Oh shit!" he shouted as he fumbled with his belt buckle.

"Stop jerking it" I shouted back. I reached for the belt "OW" he continued displaying his poor belt removal skills.

"Just hold still" he said harshly.

He finally released it and its ensuing hold on my hair when the snooty receptionist came around the corner and saw the whole horrible scene. Me…on my knees…in front of Sex Hair…with him holding his belt.

Kill. Me. Now.

I stood up moving up against the wall while he moved out of the elevator car. "I'm sorry" is all I can muster and it was barely a whisper. I was drained. I've done some spectacular clumsy falls but this one is on the podium. I didn't even know this guy but it was the final straw to an already stressful day. He stepped out of the elevator; I pushed the lobby button and stared at the floor. I could see his shoes still standing there when the door closed.

I drove home slowly; listening to a mix of Bach and Beethoven, processing the day.

Really what did I expect?

I didn't have the experience to pull off something in the big city. Two of the interviewers left so quickly, you'd think their ass was on fire and their hair was catching; defiantly not my finest hour.

I was about an hour away from Forks when my cell phone rang with a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Yes Miss Swan?"

"Yes"

"This is Carlisle; did I catch you at a bad time?"

"No, I'm just castigating myself for my clearly inadequate interview skills." At least they were prompt about their dismissal. My word vomit couldn't cost me anything now.

He laughed.

"Yes, well after conferring with my staff and the board, we would like to offer you the contract."

"I understand, thank you for your ti…wait WHAT?"

"We would like to offer you the contract." He said happily.

"I don't understand, after what happened today?"

"Yes, don't worry about that. Mr. Whitlock was…outvoted. We can offer you $30,000 for the contract, of course as an independent contractor; you would be responsible for your own taxes and health insurance, as I'm sure you already know"

At this point, my mind is still stumbling like a buffoon.

My mind doesn't stumble…say something you idiot!

"Yes, I understand and that figure is amiable to me as well"

I have this line of "holyshitholyshit" running through my brain. That's $10,000 a month, before taxes. It's a far cry from the about $2500 a month I'm getting now from measly child support and my part time CPA work.

"Wonderful, we'll get the contracts over to you tomorrow and have them signed by the end of next week."

"Thank you sir, I don't believe you will regret this."

"I'm sure we won't. Thank you and good night."

I put the phone down…..

AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!

My squeals of delight filled the car.


Don't worry, it gets better.

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