One of my favorite movies is "Much Ado About Nothing". I was thinking about it the other day and I thought about how funny it is - and suddenly I started putting the RK characters into it. So, the more I thought, the more I decided on writing it - and this is the result. A spoof on Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing", RK style! Besides, it’s a change from my last RK story, which was mostly drama... o_O

Warning: This story does NOT follow any Japanese history. Heck, it doesn't even follow any RK timeline, it's just a parody or an alternate universe type thing. Parody. I like that better then alternate universe. *muses* Opps, gomen. Back on track now... I've resurrected Captain Sagara for this fic (because I need him). Hope no one minds. He's a favorite character of mine, and if I'm writing a parody that doesn't follow the RK history, I can do that, right? ^^ Goodie.

I hope this hasn't been done before... if it has, someone let me know - I don't want to look like I'm copying anyone's story. :)

~Sher~

“Much Ado About...Stuff” - Chapter 1

It was a beautifully sunny mid-afternoon in early summer. The breezes were light and airy, the sunlight was warm and almost intoxicating, and puffy clouds drifted over the hills. The upper class inhabitants of Aizu Castle had all gone on a picnic - or at least the ones who were in the castle had gone - for the day was simply far to nice to stay indoors.

Okina-San, head of the Aizu Castle household, had led the party to a particularly sunny hillside that offered a perfect view of the castle and the surrounding area. Joining him were his three daughters; Megumi was the eldest, with long black hair, an enjoyment of learning medicine, and a sharp tongue. As the oldest sibling in the family, she found her two younger sisters and her cousins often looked to up to her and enjoyed her sarcastic jokes and humorous stories. Next was Kaoru - the middle sibling - and like Megumi, had long silky black hair. She was a student of the Kamiya Kasshin swordstyle, and Okina was very pleased she had mastered the technique. The youngest daughter was Misao, with long black hair that somehow shined a dark purple in bright sunlight. Like Kaoru, Misao trained in martial arts - she had joined the Oniwaban Ninjas and learned how to use kunais.

Aside from Okina's immediate family, there were also close cousins who lived in the castle and had come on the picnic. Tae and Tsubame, both with brown hair and brown eyes, were close to Megumi, Kaoru and Misao. Their father had been a noble and relative of Okina's. And Tokio was another cousin - her tongue was just as sharp and humorous as Megumi's, but she was an only child who's parents had died when she was young. Okina had taken her in quite happily, pleased to have another daughter in the family. There were others as well - servants who had been with the Aizu nobles for quite some time and were regarded as family. And of course, there were the men folk...though they weren’t at the picnic.

Aizu was famous for its ten elite martial artists - they were referred to across the country of Japan as The Elites. Though they were not related, they were a very close group. When a small problem has arisen in Edo a couple of months earlier, all ten had left to stop the conflict and restore peace. They had yet to return - but those at Aizu Castle were certain the Elites would come home soon, and victorious as well.

So they had all gone on a picnic together that morning without thought of the Elites, eyes shining and happy as they found a spot on the hill and sat down to enjoy sake and rice balls the cooks had prepared.

Megumi sat against a tree, her knees drawn to her chest and a rice ball in her hand. Her eyes regarded a book in her other hand, which she was reading out of. It had come from Europe, and Okina had presented it to her the day before. Being the most educated of all her sisters and cousins, Megumi had decided to bring the poetry book along and read it at the picnic. She had been entertaining everyone for the past hour with musings from the book, and had just found a piece she regarded as humorous.

"...And so, they lived happily ever after." she announced upon finishing it. "Though to the distress of the man, the woman had a very sharp tongue and put him in his place all the time. As it should be." Her smile etched over her lips as everyone but Okina laughed.

"Megumi!" he groaned. "I don't believe that was written in the passage!"

"So it wasn't." she took a bit of the rice ball and shut the book, placing it on the grass beside her. "But it's true, is it not? Every man should be put in his place by a woman."

The girls around her giggled again, and so did the male servants. Okina only groaned again.

It wasn't but a moment later however, that a man came running across the hill, shouting for Okina and taking the picnic’s mind off Megumi’s comments. Everyone glanced up and sat a little straighter. Misao actually stood up, reaching for her kunai, which she kept tucked away under the sash of her ninja outfit she always wore. The servant finally reached the party, half-out of breath.

"Well, what is it?" Tokio stood and smoothed her kimono out. "Has something happened?"

The servant nodded and tried to catch his breath, and everyone waited with anticiptation. He managed to speak. "The Elites... They've returned..."

"And how have they returned?" Megumi asked, standing and flipping her hair behind her shoulder. "On horse or foot?"

"Have the come back together?" Kaoru asked hopefully, ignoring her sister's sarcasm for once.

"Hai, my lady, they have! They are all together, and on horseback as they went." the servant cried happily. "They're on their way to Aizu Castle as I speak! I saw them only moments ago riding over the ridge! A gallent party they made, I assure you!"

"And their banners?" Misao asked excitedly. Her kunai had all been placed away again. She knew that if the Elites had returned with banners flying high among the party, they had indeed been victorious and a celebration would follow their return. She also knew the Elites had never lost a battle together.

The servant's grin broadened. "Their banners... are higher then I've ever seen them!"

Everyone at the picnic immediately let out a loud shout of joy. Blankets on the ground were instantly grabbed and thrust back into baskets. Men and women and girls and boys who had accompanied the main family all started racing back down the hillside towards the castle to prepare for the Elites’ return. Megumi shook her head and smiled as she picked up her poetry book - then frowned as she remembered the poetry. Kaoru, Misao, Tokio, Tae and Tsubame had already started to head back, shouting and laughing as they ran through the tall grasses. She could see the girls pointing off in the distance towards a cloud of dust that indicated the Elites were indeed coming.

"Megumi, is something wrong?" Okina appeared beside her, his eyes more serious then they had been.

"Of course not, my Lord." Megumi replied apologetically. "Why would something be wrong? The Elites have returned victorious."

"And yet, this news disrupts your heart." Okina shook his head. "Really, Megumi. You and Sanosuke had much best put your arguments aside and forget the past!"

"Forgetting the past is much easier said then done." she retorted.

"But Sanosuke only ever teased you out of fun and love..." Okina smiled.

"Love?" Megumi laughed outright. "Sagara Sanosuke has never once loved me. His tongue and his bitterness towards me has always proved his dislike. Teased me? Sanosuke hates me. Everything he has ever said to me has been out of discourse, not love."

"And what about your own feelings?"

Her smile didn't leave her face. "My feelings are little matter in this. I shall simply die an old maid without the joy of marriage. Unless I marry someone for reasons other then love, which I doubt. And I do NOT love Sagara Sanosuke." She started walking back towards Aizu Castle alongside Okina. "So don't even think about trying to convince me otherwise."

"But Megumi -"

"No! I said it once very plainly. Do I have to repeat myself?" she groaned, rolling her eyes.

"Of course not, daughter. I wouldn't say anything more on the subject." Okina sighed. He forced a smile. "But, we should hurry! So many things must be done in a very short time! The Elites must be welcomed properly!!"

Laughing, Megumi agreed and started to lightly run back towards the castle, with Okina following behind her.

~*~

The separate bath houses were full of people - women in one long bath house and men in another. The main girls of Aizu were hurriedly washing when Megumi came in, slipping out of her light blue kimono and into the steaming water.

"It's wonderful!" Misao was babbling, rinsing her long hair out. "I can't wait to see Lord Aoshi again!"

"And Kenshin!" Kaoru agreed, giggling. "Oh, I'm sure father will throw a huge celebration!"

"It'll probably last all week!" Tae interrupted excitedly. She had just stepped out of the bath and was wrapping a towel around her body, ready to head towards the dressing rooms.

"Hmmm, probably." Megumi stated matter-of-factly. "I'm sure the victory was an important one, but I'm sorry to say I won't be as thrilled as you all are to see the men again."

"It's only because Sanosuke always puts you down, Megumi." Kaoru grinned.

"He should really be slapped a few times." Megumi snorted. “Hard.”

"He's always making so much fun of you." Tsubame appeared, drying off. "But you make just as much fun at him, so does it matter?"

Before Megumi could reply, Tokio stuck her head into the girl's private bath area. "Hurry it up! We don't have much time! They'll be walking through the gates in a matter of... minutes!"

Kaoru, Misao, Tae and Tsubame all instantly followed Tokio towards the dressing rooms. Megumi groaned but rung her hair out and hurriedly ran behind them, drying off as she went.

The dressing rooms were in just as much happy confusion as the baths were, with clothes being thrown everywhere as girls and women decided what to wear. Okina had announced moments earlier that everyone was to be in white - as a sign of victory. Kaoru had put on a white silk kimono with short quarter-length sleeves and blue flowers along the edges of the hems. She left her hair down and pulled parts of it back with white clips. Misao detested kimonos, but Okina had purchased her a light, airy western style dress from England. It was white, with a square neck that scooped lower then a kimono, and short sleeves that fit on her arms. Though the top part of the dress was fitting, Misao enjoyed the loose bottom part. She pulled her hair back with silver clips. Tokio put on a beige kimono with white embroidery butterflies all over it. Tae had a white kimono with longer sleeves, and Tsubame donned a white kimono with shorter sleeves and silver sakura petals on it. Megumi simply put on a white kimono with baby blue flowers sprayed over the shoulder and down the front of the kimono. She left her hair down, not feeling as excited as her sisters and cousins apparently did.

She then followed everyone as they quickly headed for the main outdoor forum of the castle. Okina stopped them all before they reached the forum however, and insisted that arrange themselves in proper order. That meant that Okina would lead the group, with Megumi, Kaoru and Misao on his right, slightly behind him; and Tokio, Tae and Tsubame on his left, slightly behind him. The servants would then follow them in arranged lines.

On the other side, the men were also lining up in proper form.

Himura Kenshin, the leader of the Elites, had flame-red hair, jewel-like violet eyes (the girls at Aizu were told they sparked gold during battle, however), and a cross-shaped scar on his face from a battle ten years earlier. He was a master of the god-like Hiten Mitsurugi swordstyle, and his incredible ability had placed him at the head of the Elites. But he had a good nature and a cheerful attitude outside of the battlefield, and everyone loved him dearly – particularly Kaoru.

Second in command was Saitoh Hajime, who was the only person in all of Japan to have mastered the lethal left-handed Gatousu technique. His tall frame and golden eyes however, were enough to scare any of his enemies without even lifting his sword. He was also the oldest member of the Elites.

Third in command was Shinomori Aoshi; a tall man with black hair hanging into his icy blue eyes. He was fairly emotionless on the outside, but was the Okashira of the Oniwaban Ninjas, and had mastered his twin kodachis with deadly accuracy.

Fourth was Sagara Sanosuke. He was tall, sarcastic, and playful with the girls. He sometimes used a zambatou in battle, but lately had relied on a special fist technique called the Futae no Kiwami, which shattered anything it hit.

Fifth was Yukishiro Enishi. He was Kenshin's brother-in-law, and those at Aizu had accepted him as an Elite a year earlier under Kenshin's direction. However, no one was sure of the exact circumstances between him, Kenshin, and his sister, who had died ten years ago. Enishi remained quiet most of the time, his eyes darkly surveying things around him - but he'd always been polite towards Okina and the girls, even if he was withdrawn.

Sixth was Myojin Yahiko, a 16-year-old master of the Kamiya Kasshin, just like Kaoru was. He had a great warrior's spirit, and had even learned some of Kenshin's techniques. As the youngest member of the Elites, he was often the most hot-headed; but he did have good judgment in battle.

Seventh was Hannya, a member of the Oniwaban, Aoshi's closest comrade, and Misao's mentor and instructor. Though he wore a strange mask, everyone enjoyed his gentle nature and good humor.

Eighth was Sagara Souzou, who had adopted Sanosuke as a brother years earlier, when Sano was just a boy. He was a good swordsman, but much preferred to sit and enjoy nature and little things in life.

Ninth was Seta Soujiro, a young man who was called the Tenken of the Elite - because his swordstyle was so incredible and fast. He always smiled and got along with everyone, though he was considered the deadliest man of the group.

And the last member of the Elites was Honjou Kamatari, a man who had a flare for cross-dressing as a woman whenever he was in Aizu off the battlefields. But, everyone got along with Kamatari as well, and he loved sharing fashion tips with the girls when he wasn't training.

The ten Elites crossed into the outer forum, with Kenshin and Saitoh first, and the rest following in order, diagonal from the sides of the two men. They stopped just as Kenshin and Saitoh reached the center of the forum. Okina and his daughters, nieces, and servants stopped as well, leaving a space between the two parties. There was a long silence as each group regarded the other.

Kenshin stepped forward first, a smile on his face. He bowed before Okina and rose again. "Okina-San. The threat in Edo, Shishio Makato, had been defeated by the your soldiers, the Elites. We offer you our victories as we return from battle."

Okina smiled and ran over, hugging Kenshin so tightly that the swordsman cringed. "You're most welcomed back to Aizu, Himura-San! Your victories have spread across Japan, and all of the country will know that the best fighters reside in Aizu!" He released the leader of the Elites and turned to Saitoh, who looked bored. "Saitoh-San, I trust that the police have taken over the matter now?"

"The soldiers and officers in Edo can handle it, but I left word with them to contact us again should any further problems prove too much for them to handle alone. I doubt that will happen, though."

Okina nodded and then scanned the other Elites, bowing to each one in acceptance and welcome. He turned lastly to Enishi, who simply seemed to stare back with dark, brooding eyes. Okina paused. "Yukishiro-San. You are also welcome back to Aizu."

"I thank you, my Lord." Enishi stated quietly.

Okina turned back to Kenshin. "In honor of your victories, I have arranged for a celebration festival! It will began tonight just after sundown, and last the rest of the week, if you approve."

Kenshin noticed the excited looks on the girls' faces at the mere mention of the celebration, and he could sense the ki's of the men he viewed as comrades behind him rise suddenly. Glancing over his shoulder, he noted that they were all smiling as well, minus Aoshi, Saitoh and Enishi, of course. He turned back to Okina. "Of course I approve. A festival would be very welcomed. The Elites shouldn't fight all the time. And I'm sure the ladies of Aizu would enjoy a festival very much, by the looks on their faces!"

A loud shout of joy arose from Okina's side of the forum. Kaoru and Misao eagerly clapped their hands and laughed, while Tokio giggled and Tae and Tsubame hugged each other. Only Megumi remained impassive.

"A festival of fools would fit some people best." she mused, a smile beginning to play on her lips.

The groups froze. Sanosuke stepped forward is if by cue. "That must mean you then, Fox." he smirked, using his infamous nickname for Megumi.

"Or idiots like you." she retorted.

"I'm not an idiot. I'm one of the best fighters in all of Japan." he replied.

"Moron." Saitoh snorted.

"Even Saitoh-San backs me up." Megumi waved her hand with a flare. "That should tell you something, Rooster."

"Only that he's a moron, and you're a fox." Sano shrugged. "And some people enjoy festivals, unlike you apparently don’t."

"I enjoy festivals much more then a man like YOU would."

"Like me? At least I'm not a woman like YOU."

"That was a great come-back." Megumi said bitterly. "Care to elaborate? No wait - I don't think you can. Moron."

"I enjoy life for what it's worth, while you simply could care less. Always cutting down men and never catching yourself one.” Sanosuke walked past her, head held high. “At 25 years old, most women would be married.” He commented, grinning smugly back at her.

Megumi’s face paled. It was correct that most women were expected to marry young, and she being the eldest of her siblings, should have married a few years ago. The men chuckled at Sanosuke’s remark, and Megumi found she had no immediate answer. She watched in humiliation as the Elites filed past her into the castle grounds. The girls headed into the castle as well, knowing Megumi had been beaten by Sanosuke this time around. There was nothing more to watch.

Megumi clenched her fists together. “Damn rooster.” She hissed. “I hate you... with my entire heart.”

Reviews appreciated! Thanks for reading! ^^

~Sher