Dear Mr Black,

I hope this Journal reaches you as well as my wishes for you to use it. After long sessions of theropy due to the traumatic six years you and the 'Marauders' have given me my therapist and I conducted up an assignment for you. My therapist suggests you are all equally unstable and troubled but you are as 'mad as a cut snake'. This is a Journal for you to write in. Do not worry, only my therapist and I will read it but you better write in it or your hopes of becoming an auror are dead.

Minerva McGonagall

1st of September 1977

Blimey, I'm as mad as a cut snake? You should have seen her when we made her walk around in her knickers for a day. Scarring it was, but worth it. You should have seen Dumbledore checking her out.

Ha! Well I told James about this so now Minnie has to go through our conversations which will be written in here.

Bloody hell, Sirius. You're right. Dumbledore was checking her out!!

As much as I hate to disappoint you, Professor, I also agree with James and Sirius.

Yup.

Dear Sirius Black and Friends,

This was a highly inappropriate entry. I am extremely disappointed in you four. This is the exact reason I was forced into therapy.

Minerva McGonagall

2nd September 1977

This Journal is extremely amusing. Maybe, with this as my main weapon, I can make McGoanagll go nuts. That would be a right laugh and I, Sirius Orion Black, would go down in history.

James is being a bit edgy lately. This Head Boy thing is making him like a…like a…like a Head Boy! Yeah, one of those swots that annoy the crap out of everyone.

That's just a good show of Leadership.

I am not a swot, Black!

Yes you are, now but out. Any who, surprisingly Prongs hasn't asked Miss Evans out yet. Weird, huh? I mean Miss Evans has become Prongs' obsession right? If I recall correctly he followed her around all day one day to touch her hair! And now he abondons his routine of asking her out three times a day (at breakfast – they're always the most laid back – At lunch – the most extravagant – and dinner – the most romantic- ) because he's not interested in her apparently!

Blimey, he not being interested in Lily is like me liking guys. Not gonna happen.

Dear Sirius Black and Friends,

Black, I suggest you give Potter a chance before ridiculing him. It is only the second day you have been back. And showing responsibility is not being a 'swot'.

Minerva McGonagall

3rd September 1977

Black can you please not write about my love life in this book where McGonagall can see it. I saw you giving me a cheeky smile today, Minnie. I hope it's not about this.

Potter, I reckon your mind is playing tricks on you. Minnie isn't capable of a smile.

That's a bit nasty don't you think?

Nah. The only time she smiles is when we're on holidays. Hey mate, you want to sneak into the teachers staff room and spy on her?

YES! Ah, but Lily…

Ha! You do still like her!

Do not.

Do too.

Do not.

Do too.

Do not.

Do too.

SHUT UP BLACK! I DON'T EFFING LIKE THE BLOODY GIRL.

No need to be so mean.

I'm sorry Professor but I feel the need to say, do you see what I live with?

Dear Sirius Black and Friends,

I offer you my best wishes and am praying for my sanity. Potter, I want you to work hard for the Quidditch Cup this year and Black, you owe me an essay. And I never smile cheeky smiles. Also Black, I told you you needed to give Potter time.

Minerva McGonagall

5th September 1977

Stupid old witch.