Disclaimer: Okay, I know I haven't been here in a while, but I haven't bought out Disney in the time I was gone. Sucks to be me XP

Chapter 14: Why Do I Have to Have Emotions?

The house was dark except for a dim light in her bedroom. Mamaw had probably turned it on for her before she turned in.

"This was a wonderful evening, Miley," Travis said, pulling the car to a stop in the driveway. "You made it wonderful for me."

"That's sweet of you to say," she said. Miley was uncomfortable; she knew he was hoping for a good night kiss, but she didn't want to lead him on more than she was. His being so nice was only making her feel worse. He's honestly a good guy, but he doesn't get me the slightest bit hot and bothered.

She looked past him to the bunk house. She was half expecting to see Lilly waiting up for her, ready to start in on her for being out with Travis for so long.

Travis leaned closer to her. "You were, by far, the most beautiful girl there tonight."

Miley laughed awkwardly. Apparently he didn't get a good look at Lilly tonight. "I shouldn't have stayed out so late."

"You deserve it Miley, after the way Lilly's been hounding you? I only wish you could've gotten a Lilly-free night. She's making you stressed, and you shouldn't be, now that your home."

Abruptly, Miley's mood soured. "You don't know what you're talking about Travis. Lilly and I argue, yes. And does she make me upset sometimes? Hell yeah. But that doesn't mean I should, or want to, stay away from her."

"I don't understand," Travis frowned.

Miley frowned back at him. "I want to keep seeing Lilly."

"I mean I don't understand why. You said yourself that you argue and she makes you upset. Why hang around her?"

"Because she's honest, whether I want her to be or not. Because she's brave enough to do everything for herself. Because she's sarcastic, and witty and maybe, just a little bit, kind. Because she drives me crazy!" The brunette's shoulders were heaving by the end of her mini-rant.

Travis held his hands up in an 'I surrender' motion. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Its fine," Miley breathed, wide eyed despite herself. "I think I just finally figured some stuff out, and came to terms with some others."

"Glad I could help," Travis chuckled.

"Yeah," Miley smiled grimly. She put her hand on the door handle. "I think I'm gonna head inside now."

But apparently, he wasn't ready to let her go. His right arm came around to rest on her shoulders and his left cupped her right cheek, giving her not much choice but to turn into him. His head dipped down and his lips pressed against hers. Of course, Miley mentally sighed. Now he goes and grows a backbone.

The brunette kept herself still and waited for him to finish the kiss, grateful he didn't try for any tongue action. He pulled away slowly and Miley took the chance to disengage herself gently.

"I'm going to go inside now, alright?" She tried to keep her voice neutral.

His expression immediately turned apologetic. "I'm sorry Miley, I thought...I don't know what I thought. If I'm moving too fast for you, just let me know. Don't e afraid to say anything. But, if you don't mind, I'd like to do this again."

Travis looked so earnest and hopeful Miley nearly cringed. Why does he have to be so sweet? Again, she kept her tone neutral. "We'll see, Travis. Now I've really gotta get inside."

"Right," he blushed. "Sorry again. I'll see you in a couple of days, Miley. I'll be visiting family for a little while, so I won't be able to come down."

"Alright," she was already out the door. "Bye."

"Bye."

He waited until she was in the ranch house door before pulling out of the drive, and away.

Miley shut the door behind her, and then leaned her back against it. Her thoughts were running at a hundred miles an hour, and none of them were on Travis. She felt her knees buckled beneath her and slowly slid down to the floor.

"Oh boy," Miley muttered. Now what?

Something rattled the door she was leaning against and Miley nearly let out a scream. She shot up from her sitting position and turned to see the dark painted wood swing open.

"What the hell were you doing, Miley, barring the door against ruthless intruders like me?" Lilly smirked.

"Lilly! You scared the crap outta me. Why aren't you sleeping? I saw all the bunk house lights were off."

"Rounding up some strays." The blonde bent down and pulled her boots off, removing the hat from her head as she stood straight again. "Saw they managed to get through the fence again and went to put them back. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to make myself some coffee."

Absently Miley noted that the other girl had changed out of her dance clothes. Now she wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a tight pale beige, long sleeved t-shirt that matched her hat. Caught up in looking at Lilly, she didn't really think before she opened her mouth. "I can do that for you."

Lilly head swung towards her so fast Miley thought she might've heard it crack. "You?"

The brunette's hackles raised slightly. "Do you see anyone else here?"

The blonde was still giving her that dumfounded look. Okay, the fact I offered to help isn't that surprising is it? "The pop diva princess is offering to make little old me a cup of coffee? What's the catch? Is there a hidden camera around here somewhere?" She made a show of looking around the hall like she'd be able to spot a piece of equipment.

"Whatever," Miley snorted. "I was gonna make myself some anyways, might as well get you one too." Liar.

Lilly turned and looked at her seriously a moment, and Miley almost held her breath at having those green eyes focused only on her. "Yeah, alright," Lilly said quietly, her voice coming out strangely. "That would be really nice, if you don't mind."

"N-n-no p-problem." Bad Miley! No stuttering!

They both walked side by side into the kitchen, both trying to ignore the brush of their hands touching as they walked.

Miley nearly sighed with relief as Lilly sat in one of the kitchen chairs and she made her way over to the stove. God, I just feel like I'm on fire!

"So," Miley started, unable to quell the surge of jealous curiosity as she remembered the other brunette girl at the dance that evening. "Anna's pretty isn't she?"

Lilly sighed, "Yeah, I guess so."

Miley hummed. "Seems like you two have known each other for a while."

"Not that long," the chair creaked as Lilly shifted her weight. Miley glanced at her over her shoulder. The last person to sit in that chair was her father. The difference between him and the person now occupying it were almost comical. "I'm not much of a people person, so it can take good amount of time before I get to know anyone."

"But you hide it so well," Miley smirked, widening it into a full smile when Lilly grinned back. "So is there anything going on? Between you and Anna, I mean."

Lilly stared at her again and Miley turned her back to put the coffee pot under the tap and fill it with water to keep herself from fidgeting.

"No," the blonde murmured to her. "She wishes there were, but I...I just don't feel that kind of connection with her, you know? When she comes over we never talk about anything important, just make small talk really. Sometimes she brings food. After I spend a couple hours with her, I start thinking of her as a nuisance, and wishing she'd just go away. Don't know what she sees when she looks at a jughead like me anyway."

Miley's heart leapt. So Anna isn't really competition at all. Lilly's not interested in her. "You're not a jughead," she stated, matter-of-factly. "Its called mock vanity. Something tells me when you stare at the mirror in the morning, you see a good-looking girl looking back."

"I don't stare at myself in the mirror, I got better things to do with my time."

The brunette rolled her eyes and put the pot on the stove, turning the burner up to High. "Speaking of time, I want to ride out with you tomorrow, okay? Travis isn't going to be there so you're going to need some help."

"Wow," Lilly gave a mock astonished look. "You're offering to help me out twice in one day? Its a miracle!"

"Shut up!" Miley chuckled, throwing a dishrag at the cowgirl. "What time is it anyway?"

"About two-thirty I think."

Miley stretched her neck wearily. "Its gonna be another long day."

Lilly shook her head sardonically. "I can't think of a single day that hasn't been long since I moved out here."

"Right," Miley looked at her curiously. "Mamaw said that you moved out here a few years ago on your own."

"Yeah," the blonde sighed. "My parents are back in Cali."

"Wait!" the younger girl shook her head in amazement. "You used to be a Cali-girl?"

"Yup," Lilly smirked. "You think that all the stuff I told you came outta my ass don't you? No, I had to learn almost all the stuff you're in the middle of learning when I first came out here. I did it, and I've got faith that you can, too."

Miley smiled at her before a thought struck her. "So why didn't your parents come with you?"

At this the other girl shifted and looked down at her hands; twined together and sitting between her legs. "Well, my parents have always been really religious. I knew that too, but I still came out to them about my being gay."

"And how'd they take it?"

"Not well, if you can guess," again, her tone was sardonic. "The basically told me to get the hell out, and if they ever saw me again, they'd file a restraining order. Seeing how I'm their daughter, I don't know how it would work, but whatever. I left and I never looked back. Oddly enough, I've found the people here to be more accepting. Ironic, considering all the stories told about the Old West Bible Bashers."

Miley stood and stared at her for several long moments, trying to take all of that in. It was hard for her to picture anyone turning the cowgirl away, much less her own parents. While she had dealt with her share of prejudice, she'd basically been slumped in the same category as Ellen. A leader of the gay community. Someone to admire for being brave enough to be different, not just to her family and friends, but the entire world. If anything, her number of fans had increased.

She moved to the other girl then, kneeling down next to her and putting her hand on her knee. "I'm so sorry, Lilly. I had no idea. I shouldn't have brought it up."

Lilly didn't answer; she was simply staring down at the small hand on her leg. The popstar was about to remove it, thinking it was making the blonde uncomfortable, when a large, but unusually slender, hand covered her own.

Surprised, she looked up into hooded emerald eyes. Immediately, she felt raw heat bloom in a spot just below her navel, her nipples hardening in reaction below her shirt. She was surprised her face didn't spontaneously combust with the intensity those eyes were staring with. God, she wanted Lilly to kiss her. No, she wanted a lot more than that!

As if she had read her mind, Lilly's face bent towards her own until the blonde's lips were only a fraction away from her own. Her breath smells like peppermint, Miley thought idly, just before Lilly's lips brushed hers, incredibly soft and warm.

With an almost mewling sigh, she leaned into her, Lilly's hand cupping the back of her neck to support her while the older girls lips opened over hers, sucking gently, but not overbearingly. Her own hands rested on top of the beige covered shoulders, her fingers digging in gently and then harder as she felt Lilly's tongue boldly stroke her bottom lip. She moaned softly as she allowed the other girl entry, leaning further into her, unable to hold herself up and her body heated form the inside out and Lilly explorer her softly.

Like she had sensed her predicament, the cowgirl's empty arm curled around her waist, lifting her as easily as a child and setting her down on her lap. Even pulled up as closely and tightly to the older girl as she could be, Miley still didn't feel as if she was close enough. Her hands started to travel down angular shoulders, and down her muscled back to lift her shirt, and the way that Lilly was kissing her changed slightly. Now their lips met in one kiss, followed by another, tugging gently at each other's lips.

Just as her hands met the heated flesh of Lilly's back, the other girl stiffened away from her. "Uhm, I-I," Lilly stuttered, the most nerve-wracked Miley had ever seen her. The blonde stood, lowering Miley's feet to the floor slowly, almost resentfully. "I can't do this." She removed her arms and backed away from her, right up until she hit the doorjamb. "I shouldn't have. I'm so—"

"Don't apologize," Miley implored. Damn it, I finally accept that I want her, and now she decides she doesn't want this? She sure as fuck wanted it a few minutes ago... God, can't she just get over this and then we can move this up to my bedroom? Miley stopped, trembling at her lustful thoughts. She sure as hell wasn't perfect, but she also wasn't the type of girl to just crawl in bed with someone willy-nilly like that. Whatever this is with Lilly, its more forceful than anything I've ever known.

"Nothing to apologize for," Lilly said, almost angrily.

She lifted her chin. "That's right, we're both old enough now to know what we're getting into."

The blonde nodded, looking truly awkward for the first time since Miley had met her. "But its wrong. Good night." She turned and strode out into the hall, grabbing her hat on the way, her movements unusually jerky.

"Good night," Miley sighed, standing there for a few seconds before she realized the coffee pot was fooshing. How long has it been doing that? We weren't THAT wrapped up in each other were we? Its a damn near miracle no one's gotten up to see what all the commotion's for.

No longer interested in the cappuccino blend, the brunette shut off the burner and put the pot aside. Turning, she made her own way to her bedroom, mind still on Lilly's reaction. What'd she mean, 'it's wrong'? Was she just taking what I said and running with it? Or did she really thing its wrong to kiss me? But why would she think that?

With another sigh, she opened her bedroom door, closing it behind her and immediately starting to strip herself down. She remembered that all-consuming fire that her body had burned with, how powerful her desire for the other girl was. She thought of Lilly's arm around her, her hand on her neck, teasing the soft curls at her nape, and of her lips moving skilfully over hers. It was all she could do to keep from shivering as she slipped a tanktop on, forgoing the pajama pants tonight.

But no matter how good kissing Lilly had felt right there in the kitchen chair, Miley knew that she wouldn't be able to instigate another anytime soon. Not unless Lilly made the first move. She laid down in her bed and pulled the covers over herself, switching off the lamp beside her bed. No matter what, I will go out riding tomorrow with Lilly, I will stand up and look her in the eyes without flinching, and I will act as if nothing happened tonight, until she decides she wanted it to happen.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know I said I would update sooner, but I've just started volunteering at Rebound, and I needed to come up with some French Inversion curriculum games and lesson plans, and there was still that pill problem. While I can promise that it probably won't take as long for me to get up the next chapter as this one, I doubt I'll be returning to my every-few-days updating routine. As a reward to your patience, I have made this chapter a bit longer (for my standards anyway), and added a little more juicy bits than I was originally planning. If you don't like it, fuck off and learn to cope. BYE :)