|eternity was in our lips and eyes
Author: dhawthorne PM
He knows she will love him no matter what. He will love her until the day he dies. Hugh/Jean, Gordon/Jean, Teddy/Jean, Teddy/Deirdre, Teddy/Sandy . Four stories for each pairing.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Jean B. & Teddy L. - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,787 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 01-14-10 - id: 5667305
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
PART FIVE: things visible and invisible (Teddy/Sandy)
1. If I Fell
She makes him promise, before they begin their inevitable affair, that he is no longer in love with Jean Brodie. She wants her first lover to be devoted to her and her alone; and, although that he has a wife, she doesn't matter. Both of them are perfectly aware that Jean is the only one who matters, the only one, Sandy believes, who can come between them.
He promises, but as their affair progresses, it becomes more and more obvious he has lied. Her portrait, painted during those weeks when his wife and children are away in the country, looks Jean and she makes him start again.
Her portrait still resembles Jean.
2. The Spy
She eventually accepts that she still bewitches him, and decides, upon reading several books by Freud, to treat this love-affair as a research project. She questions him about Jean, subtly prying into the recesses of the mind that is still so obsessed with such a ridiculous woman. His answers, dropped casually into the conversation as he continues to paint her (and Jean as well, for she is still present in the portrait, an ever-present, unseen ghost), reveal to her complexities she has never imagined.
She finds the truth, after many weeks of painstaking research, and, when her portrait is finished, she goes back to Marcia Blaine and betrays Miss Brodie, as economically as she learned about her from Teddy. He never knows that she betrayed her. Jean never knows either.
3. Tous Les Garçons et Les Filles
She has always been 'precocious', to use Miss Mackay's word. Not just in her education, for she was one of the smartest girls at Marcia Blaine, but in life itself. It is Jean's influence, of course.
She, more than any other member of the Brodie set, has never known how to act her age. She more, than any of them, is the most precocious, the most manipulative... the most vindictive. It is thanks to Jean, of course. She does not spend time with people her age; she spends her time at the Lloyds', with Deirdre or with Teddy. When she decides to learn about love, it is not in the back rows of dark movie theatres; it is in the sunny brightness of the studio, with a man old enough to be her father.
Curiously, she feels nothing – not sadness, not regret, not even anger – when she realises her relationship with Teddy is doomed. It is Jean's fault, of course, that she does not know how to be happy. She will never escape her.
4. Let It Die
When she goes to the Lloyds' to say goodbye, on her way to Cambridge to study psychology, she says her goodbyes not only to Deirdre and the children, but to her lover. He knows why she is leaving, of course. She wants to escape Jean's influence.
She leaves him a few weeks earlier, much to his confusion.
'Don't you see?' she tells him, 'we were never in love.'
He knows this, but still tries to protest. He wants her to stay; he is comfortable with her and in a way she is like Jean, the closest to Jean he will ever be. But she leaves, and, a few weeks later, returns for the last time.
'Goodbye,' he tells her, bending to kiss her cheek. When he straightens up, he looks into her eyes, silently asking her to stay. She shakes her head, pressing his hand as she coolly pulls away, embracing his wife and promising to write. When she walks out the door, both she and he know that his last link to Jean is finally gone.