|Cöwboys From Hell
Author: Lit. Metalhead PM
The Land of Metal enters a temporary calm until it gets invaded by Razor Bats, Creatures not of this land. So Ironheade is forced to rely on a group of specialists: The Cowboys From Hell. In memory of "Dimebag" Darrel.Rated: Fiction T - English - Adventure/Western - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,393 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 06-16-10 - Published: 01-18-10 - id: 5677719
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
My sincerest apologies for making you all wait. My Muse has been terribly unkind to me. Plus, my Microsoft Word's been a bitch to me. Now I'm typing this on wordpad. So, you may notice spelling and grammar mistakes.
Well, school's out... forever? God, I wish. I'm gonna celebrate by writing the final chapter of Cowboys From Hell.
Thanks to everyone who read my story and made it the most reviewed in the Brutal Legend catergory (Excluding crossovers). And thanks to Another Dead Hero, who reviewed all my chapters. You rock, man!
Cowboys From Hell
Ridin' off into the Sunset...
Rolling on down the line was Dime and Eddie, zooming at high speeds trying (Hopefully not in vain) to outride the very pissed off Razor bat queen. When they at last reached the bridge, it was like a drag race. From behind, they could hear her chrome wings scraping against the bridge supports.
"Damn, she's fast!" Yelled Dimes, who didn't take his eyes off the road.
Eddie pulled out his radio and turned it on, leaving it off so a sudden radio call wouldn't wake the bats.
"Lita, the Queen's on our tail! Is the mortar cannon ready?"
Some static came first, then faintly came Lita's voice, which sounded urgent.
"Thank Ormagöden! Eddie, we have a problem. Some bats ambushed us. Everyone's fine, but the cannon was destroyed."
"What?" Yelled both Eddie and Dimes.
"You'll have to find another way to kill the queen. Good luck!" The radio turned off.
"Damn! Now what?" Yelled Dimes, as they just entered Lyonwhite's palace.
"Lemme think." Eddie at first thought to drive through the Land of the Ice and Snow to Death's Clutch, but the bats could tolerate the cold.
Damn, he had nothing!
Those bats need fire to work their wings and fly. Eddie remembered his early Roadie days when he accidently drove the Kabbage Boy tour bus into a swamp. The engine over heated and the engine shut down. Steam went everywhere. Perhaps, the same thing could happen to the Queen. Perfect!
Except... he had no massive body of water to drive the queen into. Perhaps they could destroy the bridge to drive her into the ocean.
"Dimes! Drive to the highway I made!"
"Trust me, I have a plan."
They passed Lyonwhite's palace and reach the Cleave of the Impaler. The Queen was far too big to fit in the Cleave. They were safe... for now.
They found the rest of Ironheade also in the Cleave. Dimes slowed the bike to a stop.
Eddie hopped off the bike and ran up to his friends.
"What happened? Is everyone all right?"
Ophelia spoke up.
"Everyone's fine. The bats surprised us. Noone was hurt, but the cannon was destroyed. We had to retreat in here. We don't know where the bats are, 'cause they didn't follow us."
"Me and Dimes have a plan. We're gonna drive to the bridge and try to drive the queen into the water."
"That's suicide!" Yelled Ophelia. "How are you going to get out of the way of the Queen?"
"It'll be dangerous, but we'll get through." He leaned over to kiss Ophelia and hopped back on the bike.
"Careful Dimes." Said Vin. "You come back now. The group won't be the same without you."
"You got it, bro." They rode off.
Phil and the Baron stood side by side.
"I ain't gonna sit here and do nothing."
"Me neither. K.K., Glenn, come on. We're taking a ride."
The Fire Barons rode off, with the Cowboys From Hell right behind them.
(A/N: For the last song, I cannot think of nothing more suitable than Walk by Pantera.)
Eddie and Dimes rode down the highway, with the Queen hot on their tail. The highway was repaired, so it was much easier to ride on. They drove to the outer limits.
Right now, Eddie's plan was a work in progress.
The highway seemed endless, and the Queen was slowly moving in.
"So, what's the plan again?" Asked Dimes.
"Drive this bitch into the water." Said Eddie, rather sure of himself.
"And how do we do that?"
"Still thinking. Just keep driving."
He did so. A few feet down, they saw a sharp turn. The best and possibly only time to drag this Queen down.
"How do we get here to stop fly-" Almost on cue, engines behind them were heard. Eddie turned to see the Cowboys and Fire Barons ride to both sides of the Queen.
"We got your back, Eddie!" Yelled the Baron.
"Bring her down like the cart full of guitar strings, boys!"
They prepared their methods of destructions and aimed at the Queen's wings. The Fire Barons lit their fireballs while the Cowboys cocked their shotguns.
"FIRE!" Yelled both Phil and the Baron. Everyone shot to maim and the Queen staggered until she finally fell to the road and slid down it.
The turn was coming up fast and the Queen slid behind them, razor wings tearing the street's pavement. Eddie and Dimes were literally caught between the Devil and the deep blue sea.
"Damn! How are we gonna get out of this?"
"I have an idea." He pulled out his axe, held on the pipe and jumped to the street, tipping the bike over. Eddie's axe screeched as it ripped the pavement, and the bike came to a slowdown.
The Queen did not. Everything was in almost Matrix-style motion as the bike slid under the Queen's razor sharp wing. Dimes was well out of the way, but Eddie's face was inches away from the blade. Fortunatley, the only thing that Eddie lost was a single hair. The Queen slid until it crashed through the wall of the turn and was sent diving into the ocean. A couple bubbles surfaced, then all was silent.
Dimes staggered up, and walked over to help Eddie up.
"Where I'm from," said Eddie, "we call that a powerslide."
Dimes only laughed.
The manly men rode back to Ironheade. Before any pleasantries could be exchanged, everyone looked up to see a XXXL group of Razor Bats above them.
Everyone prepared for battle, but only one bat flew down and in front of them. Still flapping, it spoke.
"Thanks for getting rid of her. She was a real bitch."
"You're welcome." Eddie awkwardly said. "Where're you gonna go now?"
"Back to Groovetal. Now that she's gone we can live in peace, and finally have that party we've wanted to have for so long." He turned around and flew away.
"Thanks again!" It yelled. "And sorry for killing all your people and drinking all your liqour!"
They all flew out of sight and out of mind.
The sun was setting over the Land of Metal, and on the newly repaired highway stood Eddie, the Fire Barons and the Cowboys From Hell.
"Sure you don't wanna join Ironheade? We could always use guys like you."
The Cowboys prepped for the road trip. Phil stood over his bike, tieing the many kegs of beer to it.
"Nah, we work alone. But, you guys ever need us, you know where we are." He looked at the Baron. "And seeing you, that won't take awhile."
The Baron grumbled, but smirked as he and his mates rode back to their home in Death's Clutch. The Cowboys mounted their own bikes. Everyone bid Eddie a horned salute.
"Y'all take care now." Said Phil.
They rode off, into the sunset. Eddie waved farewell, but noticed something shiny on the ground. It was a small circular piece of metal. He picked it up and read it. The words read brought a tear to Eddie's eye:
In Memory of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott
1966 - 2004
...And that's it.
Thank you everyone for reading my story. I had a hell of a good time writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading.
This story is in memory of not just Dimebag, but recently fallen metal warriors which include Ronnie James Dio, Heretic drummer Cristóbal Martínez (Who died just today) and even Slipknot bassist Paul Grey.
And my dear cousin, Kara Pollard.
Thanks again for reading, and until we meet again...