|Truly Madly Deeply
Author: malika-azrael PM
Harry and Hermione make a list of criteria for Harry's ideal person. They come up with Lucius Malfoy name. Harry takes it seriously as he tries to date the man. What would happen next?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Harry P. & Lucius M. - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,317 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 01-03-11 - Published: 01-21-10 - id: 5685470
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Where could I find someone who is not only mature but also not overly emotional?" Harry asked.
Harry, Ron, and Hermione were seated on the couch near the fireplace on Gryffindor's head boy and girl dorm. Hermione got the head girl position, which was no surprise at all and Ron got the head boy position. Meanwhile, Harry was a quidditch captain so he didn't feel left out by them.
Of course, Ron's appointment was met by various reactions. A happy shrieks from Mrs. Weasley for example. "Ron! A head boy! Oh I'm so happy!" she exclaimed tearfully. "Just like every other boy in our family," she ranted. Mrs. Weasley completely forgot about Fred and George, just as she did when Ron was appointed as prefect in their fifth year.
Or a full teasing from Fred and George. "Our Ronnikins? A head boy?" Fred asked dramatically. "The world has come to end!"
"I'm afraid so my dear brother," George added, sighing sadly.
"Those lemon drops Dumbledore always eats must have addled his brain," Fred stated. And both of them kept listing ridiculous reasons as to why Dumbledore would appoint Ron as head boy, each was more unbelievable than the previous.
Hermione handled the matter in a very Hermione way. "Wow Ron, that's really great! Being head boy is a great responsibility and we must do our best not to disappoint Professor Dumbledore. I think you could start by studying harder from now on."
This opinion, however, was met by very loud sigh from the red head. "I think I already regret being chosen as Head Boy," he said in low voice, afraid of being overheard by his girl friend.
They were in seventh year now and life continued on, without Voldemort for once. How could all of this have happen? Well, it began at the Department of Mysteries at the end of Harry's fifth year. When Voldemort tricked him to go there and resulted in the battle in the end, many of Death Eaters were caught red handed.
One of them was Lucius bloody Malfoy. The patriarch of Malfoy family, Voldemort's right hand man and the last the sire of annoying little ferret. In order to get his freedom and escaped Azkaban, Lucius proposed to help them to destroy Voldemort. When Harry asked why they should trust him, Lucius replied that he didn't want to serve a madman any longer. Lucius also said that Voldemort had strayed from his path. Voldemort now was nothing but a maniac, far from inspirational leader he once was. And the last reason… he was Lucius Malfoy. He bowed to no one. Funny thing was, it was that reason that made Harry believed in Lucius.
The secret of Voldemort's immortality turned out to be a Horcrux, a vessel for his soul. As long as Voldemort had those then nobody could kill him. So, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, Snape and the Order of Phoenix spent one year tracking all the Horcrux down and destroyed them. Voldemort, angry when he found out about that, had challenged Harry to duel. The psychopath, however, forgot that his wand and Harry's wand were brothers therefore his spell rebounded back and killed him in the process.
Finally, it was over. Harry was really glad. After that, Fudge was replaced by Scrimgeour, who turned out to be a better man than his predecessor. Sirius was finally a free man too, after Wormtail was caught. Thankfully, Sirius managed to beat Bellatrix in the duel. So now he lived quite happily with his godfather in the newly renovated Grimmauld Place. Remus, too, had come back to Hogwarts to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts.
Now Harry could live freely as a teenager without all that death threats from old Voldemort. But that was what brought him to his current state now… After breaking up with Cho, he hooked up with Marissa Montgomery, a Gryffindor girl in the same year as Luna and Ginny. But they broke up a few months later. Then he briefly dated Theodore Nott. That almost gave Ron heart attack.
Yes, Theo was a Slytherin but the boy turned out to be okay. Sure, his father was a Death Eater but Theo was actually neutral. He also never joined Malfoy's gang and was quite smart. Hermione accepted his reasons but not Ron. Every time Theo was near, Ron would enter defense mode.
"You would never know what he's planning Harry!" Ron cried out. "So, I'm not going to let him to lure me into a false sense of security." He had exclaimed loudly. In the end, he only stayed with Theo a few weeks, which really relieved Ron.
"Honestly Ron," Hermione mumbled. "You're paranoid."
Harry thought that he needed someone who was mature enough and not overly emotional. She or he also had to know what they wanted.
"Well? Ron, Hermione?" he prodded. Ron was okay if he wanted to talk about girls but the boy would flee as if to save his life if Harry tried to talk to him about boys.
Hermione rolled her eyes. "Really Harry?" she said. "Not overly emotional?"
"Cho cried when I kissed her," he said defensively. "Beside that, I'm confused. Back when we're together, when she said yes she actually meant no and when she said no she actually meant yes. How am I supposed to know? Why couldn't she say it in a way I could understand?"
Ron nodded vehemently, agreeing with his best friend.
"Marissa was also the same way," he said again. "She asked me which one is better, the red dress or green dress? I said red. Then she said that the green one looked better on her. Then I said she should buy the green one. She replied that I had said she should choose red one and that confused her. Do you know that I spent two hours waiting for her to decide which bloody color she liked the best?'
Ron nodded vehemently again. "Yeah," he said. "I'm totally agreed with you mate. Why do girls ask for our opinion when they actually don't want to hear it?" At Hermione's glare, he cowed and corrected hurriedly. "Of course not all girls behave like that."
"I certainly hope not!" she said. "That's a discrimination against woman!"
"And Theo…" Harry continued before they could start one of their infamous arguments. "He is nice but he is not mature enough."
Ron groaned at this.
"Harry," Hermione began in know it all voice. "If that's what you want I'm afraid you have to broaden your horizon outside Hogwarts walls."
Harry would have laughed if Hermione's expression weren't so serious. "What?" he managed to ask.
"You want someone who's mature. No offense Harry, but you want that because you have gone through a lot since you were born. You faced Voldemort every year. People place their hope on you even though you're only a boy. You grew up faster than us because the situation forced you to. Unfortunately, no one at Hogwarts can match you at that," she told him seriously. "If you want someone who is mature enough, then you have to go look for an adult Harry."
Ron choked at this.
Harry thought about it. It seemed that Hermione was right and since they were going to graduate from Hogwarts in the next few months, it wouldn't be a problem for him. "Okay so we have a criteria now. Someone who is mature and not overly emotional."
"How many people do we know that are mature and posses self control as well as intelligent?" Hermione asked, adding the intelligent part on her own.
"Not many I think," Harry said, frowning.
"What about their looks?" Hermione pressed further.
Harry rolled his eyes. He felt like he was a criminal who was being interrogated by a police right now. Maybe he shouldn't have brought this topic to Hermione. The girl took things far too serious. "Well, I don't demand that person be gorgeous, but well as long as he or she is decent and neat is okay. Oh," he said. "I also want someone to talk too. Not a genius or something but at minimum could hold conversation with me. Which means that person has to look at me and not see the boy who lived and be confident. "
"That might be difficult." Hermione said.
"Yeah, the entire wizarding world worships you mate," Ron muttered. "I would say that the only ones who still hates you is either Snape or Malfoy," he said, laughing at the thought. Harry and Hermione weren't laughing however. They were too busy thinking.
"Hmm…" Hermione tapped her finger against the table.
Harry was thinking too. Well many people he knew fit into one or more of these criteria but not all of them. Who was the person who fit into all of these? An image came into his head. "Oh no…" he said.
At the same time, Hermione said the same thing. "Oh no Harry…"
"What? What?" Ron asked, looking at both of them.
"Mature and intelligent…" Hermione began.
"More like cunning and sly actually," Harry corrected.
"Posses great self control and is very confidant," she continued.
"More like arrogant and cold hearted bastard actually," Harry corrected again.
"And actually dislikes you," she said again. "Only that person…"
"Lucius Malfoy," they finished together.
"Bloody hell!" Ron groaned in distress.
Hi. It's me again. This is comedy story actually so don't hope for anything that is as serious as my other stories. And also, this will be short, maybe three or four chapters.
As always, please give me reviews.
I know that maybe many other characters can fit into Harry's criteria but this is Lucius and Harry story so yeah… and Lucius was already divorced in this. More in the next chapter.