|Left Sided Love
Author: Suki Doll PM
I should have known that this would always be an unrequited love... Then why do I keep on hoping that maybe you'll love me back? LenxKaitoRated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Len K. & Kaito S. - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,993 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 01-08-13 - Published: 01-24-10 - id: 5692514
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Ooooo... what's this? A chapter? So soon?
Well... the quality isn't as good (if it was even good in the first place). I guess you can kind of call this more of a filler chapter, but it's just as important to have this chapter!
Hope you all like it =w='
"What?" Leon said. He stood over next to the blue haired man. "What do you mean?"
"I think it's the best for Len-kun." Kaito said. He had no idea why he was saying this. He didn't even think these thoughts and yet, they were flowing from his mouth.
Leon was about to protest when he was interrupted.
"What's best for me?"
Kaito and Leon turned to the voice. At the doorway was a confused and suspicious Len with a towel around his neck. The two elders looked at each other.
"What's best for me?" Len repeated.
Leon spoke in English. "[Yes, Kaito. What's best for Len?]"
Kaito replied back fluently. "[It's best if I leave. Having me here with Len-kun isn't good for him.]" Leon furrowed his eyebrows.
"[Leaving? For the better?]" Leon scoffed. "[Why don't you actually ask him that? He's right there!]" Leon pointed to Len, startling the boy.
Kaito didn't look at Len. He knew it wouldn't do him any good if he did. "[Do you think he's going to answer me honestly?]" Kaito asked.
Len glared at his friend. "[He told you his feelings honestly. I don't see why he wouldn't answer you honestly- oh wait. That's right. You'd probably end up hurting him anyway.]" he said in an even tone.
Kaito sighed. "[Aren't you the one who's supposed to help me get Len-kun to get over me? Isn't it easier if I left?]"
Leon shook his head. "[No. It's not.]" Leon looked at Len who seemed to be fuming from being ignored and then back at Kaito. The blue haired man saw some desperation in his eyes now. "[Kaito, you have to stay and see this through.]"
Kaito raised an eyebrow. "[See what through? Me hurting him more?]" he asked. Kaito shook his head. "[I don't want to see anything else through besides the wedding right now, Le-]"
"[Would you just shut up for a moment and not talk about the wedding?]" Leon said gently. Kaito shut his mouth and listened to the older blond.
"[Aren't you confused Kaito? Isn't that how you felt when Len was avoiding you? Like you were lost and you had no idea what to do? Like everything hurt?]" Leon shook his head, light blond locks swaying with the gesture. "[That's why you can't leave. Len's already hurt, you can't let him hurt more.]"
Kaito stood there and thought about what Leon said. Leon was right. Kaito didn't want Len to be hurt... but...
"[Why should I be seeing this through?]" Kaito said. He lifted his hand to his face and rubbed his forehead. "[Aren't I already hurting him just by standing here?]" Kaito asked. "[I don't think I've spoken to Len-kun, or even looked directly at him for a while now. What am I supposed to see through?]"
Leon looked at Kaito, eyes stern and uneasy. "[You have to see through that he does get over you...You have to do at least that much.]"
Kaito looked at Leon, a tad confused and unsure as to where this was going. "[I don't understand. Why do I have to-]"
"[Because you love him.]" Leon said. Kaito's eyes widened and then just as quickly, became furious. Leon saw this and tried to ease it by adding "[Or at least care for him more than normal!]" but was cut off by Kaito's outburst.
"[I don't love him!]" Kaito said in a louder voice. "[I already told you this! You're not going to change my mind-]"
"[Oh?]" Leon fired back, in an incredulous tone. "[I- your best friend since ever! can't change your mind, but some lady that appears suddenly in your life can?]" Leon pointed a finger at Kaito. "[How do you think that makes me feel? My best friend won't even listen to me when I say that what he needs is right there!]" Leon pointed besides him and Kaito followed it and was a little startled to see that Len was still standing at the entryway. Both looked eyes for a moment until Len quickly turned away. Kaito clenched his teeth. Len was what he needed? The boy won't even look at him!
The blue haired man turned back to Leon. "[I don't need Len!]" Kaito shouted without thinking. Anger was the only thing driving him at the moment and Kaito knew that in the end, it would only hurt him. He was already too far gone though. "[Why would I need him? He caused me so much trouble because he-]"
"[Confessed to you?]" Leon shouted. The blonds face was beginning to turn red, a trait Kaito learned when they had first became friends. "[You bastard!]" Kaito flinched at the word being directed towards him, but it didn't stop Leon one bit. "[You don't know anything, do you? You don't need Len? What complete bull is that? If you don't need Len the why are you trying so hard to be with him? Why don't you look when I'm having fun with Len? How come you look at Len when he isn't paying attention?]"
Kaito turned his head, trying to avoid the words.
Leon chuckled in disbelief. "[Move out? Are you kidding?]" Leon looked up directly into Kaito's eyes. "[Don't screw with me!]" Leon moved forward and grabbed Kaito's coat, pulling the man closer. Kaito closed his eyes at the harsh tone Leon was directing towards him from such a close range. "[If you really want to leave Len then tell him! Tell him you don't want him! Tell him you don't need him! Tell him that he doesn't matter anything to you! Tell him that all of your experiences together are all pointless and stupid and he should just burn them from his memories! Tell him! Tell him you don't love him and that you never want to see him again!]" Leon began to choke on his words and Katio could tell that he was hurting. Kaito was hurting himself. He didn't want to ever say those things to Len. The thought of even mentioning the beginnings of those sentences to the boy tore his heart. He would never forgive himself if he did.
Leon shook Kaito by his coat. "[Tell him...!]" he begged.
Kaito opened his eyes, vision blurred by tears threatening to spill. He shook his head and brought his hands up to Leon's and whispered. "[Let go of me-]"
"[You think that you've only lost your friendship with Len...]" Leon whispered quietly. "[But you don't know. You really, don't know.]"
Kaito closed his eyes and turned to leave. He didn't want to hear anymore. He pried Leon's hand off his coat, walked past Len and headed out the door.
O.o xXx o.O
Kaito rubbed his eye and exhaled deeply, but his body didn't get any more relaxed. He looked up at the sparkling waters of the lake in front of him. Currently he was sitting by the edge of the waters, watching as the sunlight glistened off the surface of the clear water. Right after Kaito had crashed into Mikuo and Dell, he walked to the city river. He hadn't been there in a while and only ever went there when he was lost, truly troubled, or upset, like now.
Kaito sighed. Maybe he wasn't thinking clearly, not that he ever really did. He should have at least thought through when he said to Leon though. Moving out? Kaito slowly shook his head. Leon was right. Who was he kidding?
The blue haired man threaded his fingers through the grass he was sitting on. There was no way he could leave the Vocaloid household so soon. He knew that once he got married, he would eventually have to move out, but until it happened, he'd rather spend some time with his family before it did.
Before he possibly never saw them again.
…Never saw Len again…
Kaito stopped tearing the grass out from the ground. He lay down on his back and stared up at the evening sky. "Two more months." He whispered, not really believing that his wedding was that far away. He closed his eyes. I wonder if everything could be fixed by then.
December twenty-seventh. Day of our wedding. Day of Len-kun's birthday. Kaito vaguely thought of what to get the boy for his birthday.
Kaito lay still as he heard near quiet footsteps approach him. They stopped above his head. "Hey Kaito."
Kaito opened his eyes and found himself looked up at Leon.
"Hey." Kaito replied. He sat up slowly and looked back to the river.
O.o xXx o.O
Dell slammed Mikuo into the wall, who yelped from the contact. The two were currently in an alley way that Dell had lead them to after they quickly rushed from the scene with Kaito. Mikuo had tried to escape, but with no avail, he couldn't. Dell was gripping his arm with such force that it was impossible for the green haired teen to pull away. Mikuo tried to convince the silver haired teen to calm down and that he shouldn't take out his frustration on him and got a death glare from him instead. Mikuo had whimpered when he saw where Dell was dragging him to and dreaded what would happen. Mikuo was always afraid of Dell when he was filled with rage, but he hoped that it would be for some other reason than to chew him out that they were going to an alley. Besides, why else would they be in an alley way?
"Sheesh, Dell." Mikuo said, a little out of breath since it got knocked out of him. "If you wanted to be rough, you could at least wait and book a room-"
"Damnit Mikuo!" Dell hissed, grabbing the teen's collar and glaring at him, completely unfazed by his comment. "How the heck did you forget that we weren't supposed to discuss anything about Len's affairs? Especially NOT to discuss them with the person he was having conflicts with!"
"Woah, Dell. Chill out." Mikuo said, holding his fist up to cough into it. He made a sour face. "You really should quit smoking. You're breath reeks-"
Dell slammed Mikuo into the wall again. "Would you quit it?" Dell snarled. "If Len finds out about this he's-"
"Dell, calm down!" Mikuo pleaded. "It just slipped my mind for a moment. Besides, what could a cute kid like Len possibly do?" He looked directly into Dell's red eyes, which seemed to be redder from rage, and hoped that he would be spared. Mikuo laughed shyly. "You know, you kinda look like a sexy vampire that's trying to rape me-"
That's it. Dell thought. "Say something again and I'll-" Dell's sentence was cut short when laughter sounded at the end of the alley. The two teens looked to see who it was that had caught them in their odd situation and was far more shocked at what they saw instead.
The owner of the laughed disappeared around the corner of the alley, with someone else by them. Mikuo blinked several times to be sure he wasn't seeing things.
"Was that…?" Mikuo asked, not sure how to finish his sentence. Dell let go of Mikuo and proceeded to the end of the alley.
"It was." Dell answered. Mikuo quickly followed behind the silver haired teen. They could not have been mistaken of what they saw.
Dell peeked around the corner and spotted the person who had laughed by the alley as they walked past it. The person's brunette hair was curled today and they were wearing a flattering red dress with coffee brown leggings and black and white leather shoes. It was completely different for the attire they had first seen her wear. She was smiling beautifully, showing her perfect rows of white teeth. Even Mikuo was a bit captivated by her appearance.
"Oh man…" Mikuo whispered. He looked at Dell. "This does not look good." Dell nodded. He walked out into the open and began to trail behind the brunette.
Mikuo quickly fixed his appearance and caught up to Dell. He looked up in disbelief as he stared into the back of the brunette.
It was Marin. And she was holding hands with another man.
O.o xXx o.O
Leon lay down next to Kaito. "It's been awhile since I've been here." Leon said, looking at Kaito, studying his expression. "Heh, you're always here when you get lost."
Kaito nodded in agreement. The soothing sound of water rushing by filled the air. Kaito ripped some more grass from the ground and tried to through it into the river. They all floated back to him instead.
"How are the wedding plans going?" Leon asked.
Kaito sighed. "Marin's mostly the one taking care of everything. I just get to pick out which kind of cake we get."
Leon chuckled. "Ice cream, right?"
Kaito smiled. "What else?"
"You addict." Leon said jokingly. Kaito turned and gently pushed Leon's head and the blond playfully smacked the hand away.
"So when are you going to introduce us to the supposed bride?" Leon asked.
Kaito humed. "Probably next month."
"She said she's really busy this month. I would have preferred if you all met her this month though." Kaito said. "They you would have more time to get to know her." Kaito wondered would it would be like if Marin met the rest of his family. She would probably be cautious around Meiko, but eventually learn to like her and her spunkiness would be brought out. Luka and her would become very good friends and they could both have talks about politics and ideas. Gakupo would frighten her away, and Miku would charm her with her smile, but make her weary with her leek-related recipes.
Kaito half-smiled. She would love the twins though. Rin would be cute and adorable, just like a doll and she could go out and dress her up and buy her clothes like a doll, except she would never know of her dark side. And Len…Marin would adore Len. He would be like another doll, only he would be one to gaze at only, not to touch and dress up, but she would talk to him and make him laugh and understand him and care for him. Len would have liked Marin too. He would have really liked her.
"And I get to be your Best Man, right?" Leon said with such confidence, Kaito wasn't sure if he really needed to answer.
Kaito decided to mess around with Leon. "Well actually…" Kaito said, trying his best not to smile. "I was planning on getting Gakupo…"
"Hey." Leon said, sounding offensive. "No. That is not cool."
Kaito laughed. "You know I'm joking." Kaito too in a deep breath and pushed his fringe away from his eyes. "Of course you're going to be my Best Man."
Leon smirked. "Good, 'cause I would fight for that role and possibly steal your bride while I'm at it."
"Wha-?" Kaito said and was met with a face full of grass. Kaito spluttered and tried to spit out the grass that had gotten into his mouth.
"Kidding!" Leon said in a light and easy tone. Kaito pouted and defiantly turned away, but it faltered when Leon began to laugh.
A calming silence greeted the two friends.
Leon turned over to his side and grabbed part of Kaito's coat. Kaito looked down at the American. "Sorry for yelling at you and calling you a bastard." Leon whispered. He looked up at Kaito, and Kaito knew he was truly sorry for what he did.
Kaito smiled. This was why Leon was his best friend. Kaito could never be truly mad at the foreigner. He would always come and find him even if Kaito didn't want to see him and apologize like an innocent child. "It's alright" Kaito replied. "I deserved it."
"You won't leave the house right?" Leon said, relieved that Kaito was no longer mad at him. Kaito couldn't help but be reminded of a small child that was about to see his father out the door. "Everyone would be really sad."
I'm not so sure about Len-kun though. Kaito thought.
"Len would be most sad, you idiot." Leon scolded. Kaito stared at the blond man, startled when it seemed like he read his mind. "But you're not leaving right?" Leon asked again.
Kaito smirked. "Why are you so worried about me moving? Some other reason to it?" Kaito raised an eyebrow in mock curiosity.
"Yeah." Leon said, sounding exasperated. "If you leave, then Gakupo's gonna go and molest me instead and Luka would try and kill me for that. Then Meiko would try and stab me in your place whenever she's drunk, and Rin would try and get me to cross-dress too. We can't forget about our diva, Miku, who'll try and get me to become her test subject if you're gone." Leon added with a serious look.
Kaito nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe I should have moved out a long time ago- ow!" Kaito cried when Leon got up and punched his shoulder. The two looked at each other and laughed. Everything was going to be all right between them.
Leon lay back down on the grass. "Hm…" Leon mumbled. Kaito looked back at the blond and saw that his eyes were shut. Kaito wouldn't be surprised if the blond fell asleep right then and there. He always had a weird habit of falling asleep whenever he got comfortable.
"Kaito? Can I ask you something?" Leon said in a small voice.
"Sure." Kaito said, trying to guess what the blond wanted to ask. There was a lot that Leon could possibly ask him. Kaito knew it would probably be about Len though. He seemed to be the topic of their lives nowadays. I wonder what he's doing right now.
O.o xXx o.O
Len drummed his fingers on the arm chair, impatient and irritated. He frowned when his twin smirked at him.
"Rin, remind me again, why am I here?" Len said. Len didn't remember exactly how (and maybe that was the problem) his sister had managed to convince him to go to a beauty parlor with her, but he really wished he was somewhere else right now.
Rin giggled. ""You're here because you need to relax and be beautified too."
Len groaned and lolled his head back. He stared directly at his own reflection that clearly said he was dissatisfied with where he was.
O.o xXx o.O
It was silent and Kaito had thought that Leon had been sleep talking to him, but he proved him wrong.
"Do you…" Leon began, sounding unsure of what he was saying. "Do you really… not love Len?"
Kaito's eyes widened. He could feel as if someone was pressing down on his shoulders and he prepared his answer. "Yes, Leon. I really don't love Len." Kaito said. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt to say that, but if he were to look back at this, he would have realized that his voice faded near the end.
"But you care about him?" Leon asked.
Kaito nodded. "Yeah…" Kaito attempted to throw more grass at the river. "He's an important friend."
"Then… Do you love him as a friend?"
Kaito pondered on this question. "As a friend…yes. That's all."
"Hm." Leon stretched out his legs. "Then be friends with him again."
Kaito successfully managed to get a hair of grass into the river. "I don't know if that'll work." He said.
Leon's face formed a pout. "At least try."
Kaito laughed in response. Could he really try and be friends with Len again? Kaito smiled sadly. It sounded like a far away fantasy to him.
The blue haired man found a pebble and tossed it into the river, watching as it plopped into it and disappeared.
"Hm?" Kaito replied. The light reflecting off the water temporarily blinded him.
"I think I've fallen for Len."
What did I tell ya? Angsty right? Yes. And not much plot development (none really), not much LenKa, and it's shorter than my usual length.
And you know what? This chapter and the next chapter is dedicated to Shugashuga. She gets two chapters because I didn't think this chapter was enough for me to say thanks. Her reviews are always fun and interesting to read and I really look forward to them and what she thinks. If I don't get a review from her, I pretty much believe I have failed and gets encouraged to try harder. The next chapter is chosen to be dedicated to her cause... well I already know what's going to happen in there too. And I hope she'll like it ;-;
I wanna thank -shadownin1010- also! This chapter is dedicated to her too! He reviews are awesome and we had a nice message chat (though I forgot to message you back, so sorry!) and she got me all inspired and forced some spoilers out of me too lol.
So thanks you all! And I hope you liked story so far.