The misadventures of zydrate man

Disclaimer: I do not make any money off of this story. It is all for fun

A/n this is a crack fiction that me and my friend came up with. My friend Claire gave me the inspiration for this story and she was also my beta reader.

One quiet evening, sound pierced the silence. It started out small, but then screams erupted from a woman; "Help, someone! He is stealing my car, help!"

The man pushed the woman down to the ground and grabbed her keys that had fallen on the floor from the struggle; he jumped into the car and drove away.

Out of the shadows stepped a man in a blue suit with a red cape on. Trying to seem tough, but just coming off looking a little dumb, he struck a heroic pose and said in a booming voice to no one in particular; "I am Zydrate man!" He walked over to the woman, helping her off the ground. "Hello ma'am, can I help?" The woman was still shaken up, "That man he stole my car" she said.

"Don't worry ma'am I will get your car back!" Zydrate man zoomed off into the night, searching for her car. The problem was he kept running into stuff so it made it harder to really look. He finally found the car in an abandoned lot about an hour or so after he had started looking… it seemed weird that the car jacker would just leave it here. That was when his foot hit something on the floor and a crate came down on his head.

"Oh crap," he said, falling to the ground under the weight of the box. From the corner of the room walked Wonderslut.

"Mwahhhaha, the infamous Zydrate man! I finally caught you!" When Zydrate man got a good look at her he wasn't surprised at her name- she did indeed look like a slut, wearing black knee high boots with a gold trim and a light blue top with a short skirt.

Zydrate man could see her minions coming closer to him; he stood up, preparing to fight them. He grabbed a few zydrate vials from his belt and started to throw them toward the first minion, hitting him right in the eye.

"Ahh! Oh no!" He fell to the ground dead.

Zydrate Man punched the one that was coming up on his left, missing the first time, but hitting him on the jaw the next time.

He grabbed more zydrate vials, throwing them to the ground and zooming away. The minions were so dumb they didn't notice he had run away and continued to walk towards the acid zydrate. Some of the minions fell in, but once the first five fell in the others took notice and turned the other way. Zydrate man was sitting on top of the box acting dumb, not even caring that he was feet away from Wonderslut and she could take him down in a second.

"So what are you guys doing here exactly?" Wonderslut turned towards him "We are here to capture you, of course." She didn't even seem worried. Zydrate man jumped off the box and started to run circles around the bad guys….sadly it didn't do very much except make him very dizzy.

He stumbled around looking very lost. Wonderslut gestured for her minions to take him away, but it turned out Zydrate man was only feigning being dizzy, zooming away out into the night leaving Wonderslut and her minions behind. All that could be heard were the crashes he caused.

"Until we meet again Wonderslut," he yelled over his shoulder before running into a parked car.

He had almost forgotten to take the nice woman her car back. Zooming over to where it was parked he got in the car, trying to figure out how to make it work. He jammed the keys into the ignition and turned them; turning the car around and driving it back to where he saw the woman. "Here is your car back ma'am," he said, starting to walk away.

"Thank you zydrate man!"

He waved back at the woman before zooming right into a parked van and then hitting the driver too.