Love Ain't For Keeping.

Total confusion. That was how Daria summed it all up.

Ever since that weekend and that unexpected kiss, she had been tossed and turned in the flotsam and jetsam of the fact Brittany had revealed her sapphic love crush on her. And Daria didn't like, no, she hated Brittany, knowing the auburn hated the blonde to all four corners of the earth, That bimbo could never be the ideal lezzie version of a soul mate, not with her quick temper, her brutality and her squeaks, especially her "EEP!" But that was before the kiss-a kiss that was something she had hoped to share with Tom, a kiss that left her breathless and placed her adrift in the clouds with a tingly sensation she would never forget. But the disturbing fact was that particular kiss came from Brittany, another girl, the head of Lawndale High's cheerleading squad. And Daria hated that fact-so why couldn't she get the kiss out from her mind? Why did it taste so sweet?
Why did she feel like wanting to kiss back? Already a part of her was dreaming,
knowing what it would be like to kiss Brittany, to love her, to hold her and kiss her...did it feel like she was falling in love with Brittany Taylor...?

In fact, there was a good reason why, though she hadn't thought of it and thought she had forgotten it until that fateful Sweetest Day: That even before that happened, that Daria was bi. A lesbian-or was it bi? Anyway, the day she first met Brittany at Lawndale High, the brain sort of tentively fell for her, that is, she felt attracted to the blonde, But given the fact that Brittany was at the time dating Kevin, and after all, there was, so it seemed, that only team players could date cheerleaders. So time and again, Daria tried to shake off her love for the bimbo,
often botching it up at first, until Jane, Trent and Tom took her mind off her troubles,
to the point of forgetting such a love for a hot headed bimbo was a thing of the past,
as if it had never existed...until that kiss unlocked a secret forgotten, trapping the poor auburn in a vortex of love, of desire, of wanting to kiss Brittany, to touch her,
to hold her and love her...

Stop it. Or else

Shaking the absurd thought, Daria could only get back to her schoolwork and her hanging 'round with Jane and her love life with Tom, hoping it was all just a phase...
until one day in October...

Coming home, Daria checked her email, and found one that took her by surprise reading, "You have been cordially invited to eat with me at Joe T. Garcia's in Fort Worth, Texas, as my way of saying thanks for everything and as a gesture of goodwill, along with the fact I got bored, that is, and got two round trip plane tickets to Fort Worth-if it's OK with your parents, that is. Love, Brittany Celine Taylor."

That threw Daria for a loop, meaning that her hypothesis on Brittany having a crush on her was right, that anything that had a thing connected with the Sweetest Day incident was far from over. Given the fact the Taylors were rich, it wasn't surprising as to how Brittany was able to afford such a costly trip from Maryland (where Lawndale was located) and Texas, however, it was also no surprise both the auburn and blonde had at times adored Mexican food, but to get an invite to a place like Joe T. Garcia's was,
even to Daria, considered an honor, for even she knew that what Chicago was to deep dish pizza, Joe T. Garcia's was to Mexican food, with even the famous spending their money to jet to Fort Worth to fufill their Joe T. Garcia fix-something that not even Tom was able to afford...yet. At first, the brain was doubtful, as to why the head cheerleader would invest in so much money just to be with her, yet but a part of her-that same old part that had wanted her that she had buried so long ago,-was looking foward to meeting the bimbo again.

"What a crazy world," muttered Daria. "Why did I have to be born bi? Why did we ever come to Lawndale? Why do I have those feelings for her? Why did one kiss trigger off a girl crush I haven't felt after so many years?"

Eventually though, after getting permission from Jake and Helen on the promise to call when to and from the destination, etc., Daria soon joined Brittany on a Mohawk Airlines flight to Fort Worth where they rented a car prior to speeding off to a place that was world famous as the Emeril's eateries worldwide-the one and only Joe T. Garcia's, where, in the patio section of the place, the brain and the head cheerleader made short work of eating platters of nachos, beef tacos and chili, and drank diet sodas in addition to the four pounds of food they had. And neither girl had it so good when it came to such superb food like they had eaten before. Finally, it was Brittany who said, "What do think now, Daria? You pleased that you came with me?"

"It sure puts Taco Tom's to shame," replied Daria. "Anyway, thanks for asking me out, I should tell Tom 'bout it; maybe he and his Sloane treasury can spring for a trip here."

"Y' know," said the blonde, "you're the second one that I invited here; the other one was Kevvy, for his birthday-he put away five pounds of food in one sitting."

Somehow the mentioning of Kevin had the girls silent for a moment, then the bimbo added, "Don't get me wrong-there's times I wanna stand up to Kevvy and get rid of him so much, but NOT THAT WAY, when it came to his suicide. As such, I'll never get over losing Kevvy ...at least I got you to look up to."

"Just as long as it gets you and your pom poms back on your feet," said Daria. "Guees there was more to you than meets the eye."

"Could be," said the grinning head cheerleader, who took to twirling her omnipresent pigtails, adding, "Another round of nachos for the road?"

"I don't know," said the brain hesitantly, "I only hope my Montana Cabin Fund can afford that, along with what we just ate," before reaching into her pocket for the money.

"No, no," said Brittany, who held up her hand, "the treat's on me, I insist."

"As long as it takes to hurry up so I can get outa Texas in a hurry," said the auburn.

"You don't like bein' with me?" said an almost hurt yet quizzical Brittany. "After the way I bent over backwards for you and our first date?"

"First date?" echoed Daria. "Listen, Brittany. I was born in Texas and more than anything, me and my family were desperate to escape from there, mostly from a lot of kooks that lived there, and mostly from two dumbo guys that were even dumber than Kevin, and were perverted than Upchuck."

"Dumber than Kevvy and perverted than Upchuck?" said the bimbo. "Sounds like some competition. You knew their names?

"Beavis and Butt Head," replied the brain.

Hearing that, the head cheerleader was laughing her head off, saying in between giggles, "BUTT HEAD? You've got be joking!"

"Nope, sorry," said the auburn. "Those guys were always making bad passes at me, Quinn and most every gal in Highland High, stole a riding mower once, painted a cat's butt, burned down Tom Anderson's house and even used his trash can lids for Frisbees. Worse still, they even called me Diarrhea."

"D-AA-R-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-A, EWWWWWWWWWW!" said Brittany, grimacing. "You trying to make me throw up? No wonder you left Texas."

"So now you know," said Daria, "and knowing's half the battle."

"Yo, Joe," said the blonde, a gentle smile on her face and it was at that point the brain spaced out without intent, digesting over the fact that the head cheerleader had verified the fact that the whole invite had been a date the whole time-and a costly one at that, but to a rich girl like Brittany, that hardly mattered-at least from the bimbo's viewpoint anyway. A definite girl crush coming from someone that loved to twirl her pigtail. Just then, Brittany broke into the auburn's reverie with, "What's the matter?"

"What?" said the brain, absently reaching out for something on the table.

"What you looking for?" asked the blonde.

"Sorry," said Daria, sheepishly. "Guess I was getting the tortillia chips."

Eager to please her friend (in many ways indeed from Daria's POV), the head cheerleader gently slid the bowl with the chips in it to her-and each other's hand touched the other, pausing there for much longer than necssasary, each girl blushing, then the auburn took a handful of the said chips, eating them and saying, "Maybe we can order yet another round of nachos-even if it means having to diet till Thanksgiving."

"Sure thing," said the bimbo, who lifted her finger to alert a waiter, and that was when Daria, for whatever reason, moved her right leg under the table two inches till her knee gently brushed against Brittany's; the blonde responded by pressing her knee against the brain's and from there, they remained that way throughout the meal, right down to their finishing up their nachos...

Halloween, along with October passed, as the year shifted into November, and it was on the fourth day when Daria and Jane were in their usual watering hole known as The Pizza King.

"I forget again," said Daria, "was it Toto's Dave Paich that died?"

Shaking her head, Jane replied, "No, no, you're thinking of Jeff Porcaro and besides, Dave retried years after that, having been replaced by the one and only Greg Phillinganes."

"Sorry, I forgot," said the auburn. "But then, Jeff was one of the greatest drummers, make no mistake, so I guess he qualifies as the American Carl Palmer."

"Carl Palmer?" said the black haired Lane gal. "Well, I wouldn't doubt that, given his amazing prowess.
No could play the drums like he and Jeff could, so I guess that makes Carl the British Jeff Porcaro."

"Seems that way," said Daria, who downed her last slice of pizza.

"Anyhoo," added Jane, "the word's out that you and Bit Bit went off on the most costliest date to Joe T. Garcia's;
you know I dig Mexican food, you could've invited me."

"Sorry," said the auburn, "but she invited only me, and the fact is I think she's got a girl crush on me."

"Hoo boy," said Jane. "Houston, we've got a problem. If Tom found out a cheerleader's got a crush on you, he'd kick your butt-y."

"That ain't the worst of it," added Daria, "for when I first came to Lawndale High, when I first saw Brittany, I sort of-UGH-fell for her with my own girl crush for her. Now I don't even know what I am no more, straight,
lesbian, bi or all of the above, or maybe what I got is a phase just as Britt's got one herself-hoo boy..."

"Bi, bi, Ms. Lawndalian Pie. If it's a phase, the maybe, it'll pass and you can get back to Tom and Brittany'll move on to another avarage jock," said Jane, "or your money back."

"Famous last words," muttered the brain.

How right she was, because when she and Jane went to the toilet after finishing, Daria entered her stall-and called out,
"Jane, check it out."

Upon entering the stall with her amiga, Jane could see where the auburn pointed out on the left stall wall: a rainbow colored chalk design of ornate hearts, stars and moon surrounding the huge lettering in the most gorgeous font:
BRITTANY WANTS DARIA.

As if the writing on the wall wasn't the worst, Jake and Helen were out on a business dinner with the Landons, so Daria and Quinn were alone in the house-but not for long, when Daria was trying to study on a Kafka book report,
when the most noisiest drum playing could be heard, and that was when Quinn came inside and said, "Daria, stop playing that Blue Man Group disc! It sounds like the natives're getting restless tonight!"

"But I haven't been playing any discs lately," said the brain. "Besides, I thought it was you."

"Me?" shot back the redhead. "Whoever heard of me playing any classic rock, much less something with a lot of heavy drums?"

"Must be Trent and his band trying to get me back, under Jane's yenta dirty work," said Daria, feeling disgusted.
"She seemed chagrined over switching over to Tom-wait, it seems to be coming outside in the front yard."

Getting up, the misery chick, with her sister following, crossed over to the F.C Veep's bedroom, stared out the window-and were thunderstruck, because out there on the Morgendorffer front yard lawn, playing a drumkit with twelve cymbals, seven tom toms, a snare drum and two bass drums, was Brittany.

Unable to believe what they were seeing, the sisters Morgendorffer could only stare and be atonished before Daria demanded, "Brittany, what the %*#$^& you doing out here, disturbing the peace?"

Stopping her playing, the bimbo replied, "Can't you guess? I've been serenading you."

"With a drumkit?" said Quinn. "I've seen guys try to do that with me by lip syncing with karaoke MP3 players,
like The 3 J's did last month."

"They did?" said the head cheerleader. "I've got to remember that next time."

"Least Tom didn't do something inane like that," said the auburn, before turning back to Brittany and saying brusquely, "Brittany, you could get busted by the fuzz for noise pollution-SCRAM!"

"Ged outa here, Brittany and leave us alone!" yelled Quinn. "You want the pigs on your butt?"

Disgruntled, the blonde said gloomily, "Everyone's a critic," then got up from her drummers' throne and started taking down her kit, as Daria exited her sister's room...but Quinn pushed off a flower pot she had on her window sill; there was a crash and Brittany yelled "OWTICH!"

Resuming her Kafka homework, Daria could see just how serious the bimbo was when it came to her girl crush,
and at that point, Quinn entered saying, "That Brittany's just as weird as Kevin was-but wait, she said she was serenading you. Daria, you don't think she's got the hots for me or you? EWWWWWWWW!"

"I hope not...," said the auburn uneasily.

Even when it came to avoiding Brittany, particularly for the next several days, Daria, at the same time, couldn't stop thinking of the head cheerleader, wanting her, to love her, till it got to the point where she was torn between avoiding the bimbo morning, noon and night, and wanting to face her, to be sure if she was harboring any feelings for Brittany, despite her current feelings for Tom. In the end, the brain chose the latter for now, in which even in school, the stores, The Pizza King and at home, the auburn avoided the blonde, hiding and traveling incognito and in disguise, whith Jane's help-which went for a week, till it got to the point when Daria would cringe and then hide each time she heard the bimbo called for the auburn, sometimes worried, sometimes forlorn and other times heartbroken. Hopefully, by the time she graduated, she could look for someplace that gave her peace of mind.

Until one day when her parents were out, as was Quinn, Daria had tuned in to Sick Sad World, until she heard a crashing sound downstairs and muttered, "Oh, great, something else to add to my misery," before getting up,
heading downstairs and stepping out the front door-and that was when she saw to two trash cans laying on their sides, the trash spilled out.

"Oh, great," moaned the auburn, "dad's going to have a fit and rant on the squirrels doing that." From there, she righted the cans then got the trash back in the said cans and went back in the house to wash from the trash, before heading back up to her bedroom and resumed her viewing, just as the announcer said, "There's some kunoichi on the beach, both Japanese and American ready to strut and duke it out at the same time in their new beachwear. Bikini gals with katanas, coming up next, on Sick Sad World."

Suddenly, right after the announcer, a new voice said, "Sounds interesting," which jolted the brain to her feet as she yelled out, and whirled to see Brittany behind her, in the space between the wall and the door.

Upon getting her breath back, Daria could only glare at the bimbo, demanding, "How'd the *%#$^& you get in here?"

"Forgive me, Daria," replied the head cheerleader, "but it was the only way I could get inside to see you, since all you do is avoid me and stay hidden, but what I did was kick over those trash cans, so the noise could get you to come out,
that way, while your back was turned, I could sneak in."

"That was a dirty trick, you know?" said the brain crisply. "And such dirty tricks like that can best be summed up in what William Shakespere once said: 'Ah, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to decive.'"

"You know a better way to get to you so we could talk?" shot back the blonde. "So why were you avoiding me last week? You never returned the emails I sent and I've searched the whole school, even the whole town looking for you. I've been waiting for you each day after school, and you slip away and I don't see you. For that matter, I haven't seen you since that date at Joe T. Garcia's."

"Listen," said Daria, her bluster wavering, "I know for a fact you've had a lesbian crush on me since Kevin died, but let's not forget I love Tom-at least it's what I tell myself, and all you're doing is tossing a monkey wrench into the romance works."

"Think I don't know that?" said Brittany, twirling her pigtails. "But if the truth be known, I fell in love with you, even BEFORE Kevvy died."

"Before~~~~~~~?" stammered the auburn.

"Before," said the blonde, "since you first came to Lawndale High, but with my dating Kevvy, I couldn't decide who to love, so for the next many years, I held back whatever feelings I had for you, yet I couldn't help but think of you now and then..."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?" said the brain.

"Uh, you didn't ask me," said the head cheerleader. "So you don't love me-then why did you get me some gifts on Sweetest Day? And agree to a date at Joe T. Garcia's, much less space out and touch my hand and touch my knee with yours?"

Having been boomeranged with that query, the brain reluctanly stammered, "You got me...I DID have a sort of crush on you when I first came to Lawndale High, but I wasn't cut cut out to express myself, even with feelings."

"Try me," said the bimbo, who drew herself closer to Daria.

"I...," said the auburn, "fell for you, but at the time your were spoken for when it came to you and Kevin-I admit it-I wasn't sure what I am now, straight, lesbian, bi or whatever, I don't know no more, and it's left me wondering what I truly was, and it's got me all mixed up inside for years. At least Jane, Trent and Tom came by to help me to forget my worries-besides, I always thought cheerleaders only dated team members, and to top it off,
someone like you wouldn't be into the same tastes I've had-foreign films, classic rock, anime, blah, blah, blah."

"WHO CARES?" said Brittany, who now did the unthinkable-she tackled the brain onto her bed, laying on top of her with her face close to Daria's, saying with growing passion with each phrase, "When two people love each other, they don't need to give a hang 'bout each other's ways of life since opposites attract-no, all they need to do, is to love one another, and caress one another and to-MMMM, KISS YOU!"

On those words, the head cheerleader unrestrainly, wildly and passionately smother a lot of kisses all over the surprised and soon to be furious auburn who kicked and fought, trying to break loose, shouting, "Stop it, Brittany! Get off before I call a cop! I ain't ready for something like that!"

"But I am," said the blonde. "Kiss me, Daria!" then resumed her kisses, covering Daria's face, forehead and mouth with candy pink lip gloss, stirring feelings in her, till the auburn, boiling between love and hate, lifted up one hand and then brutally landed a the hardest slap across the bimbo's face, causing her to fall off of the brain, and land on the floor, the rest of her face turning red and covered with streaming tears as she bawled her loudest, wailing and screamed, "Daria,
how could you, after everything I did for you? I want you so much, please don't break the heart that loves you!"

"Kevin was bad enough," said a grim Daria, "but you had to be nuts. What a crybaby."

"I -LOVE- YOU, DARIA!" wailed Brittany. "Even you admitted you were in love with me, why can't you tell me you love me, just as I told you? You're all I got!"

"And I say you're a mental case," said the brain, who grabbed, then dragged the blonde over her knee and brutally spanked her as hard as she could for an hour, as the bimbo wailed, caterwauled, kicked, fought, cried, bawled and screamed. Then the auburn picked up and carried the whimpering girl down the staris and literally kicked the head cheerleader out from the house, Brittany landing on her behind on the grass which broke her fall.

"You &^$%$* lesbian," roared Daria, "look what you've done to my way of thinking! Why I got you those Sweetest Day gifts for you is beyond me!"

"First Kevvy and now you!" wept the blonde. "You've got to take me back, I'll do anything for you, please!"

"Then scram before I call the police, and I don't mean the rock band!" said the brain. "Better still, I may call your parents."

"EEP! squeaked the bimbo before she got up and ran as fast as she could.

Closing the front door, the auburn said, "Stupid girl," and went back to the TV, yet she couldn't help but regret what she had done to Brittany. Why had she acted like a tyrant and hurt the head cheerleader? Why hadn't she come out and told her she had loved her, despit the confession she had said? Why hadn't she given in the Brittany's loving attempt to make out with her, to open up and love back, even kiss back? Despite everything getting back to normal and Daria getting back to her job as a cynic, she was trapped in a malestrom of regret, of want and desire, despite her claim of her not loving the blonde. Worst of all was the worry of her future with Tom, Quinn and her parents-all of which, for the next seven days before the upcoming Thanksgiving week, would haunt the poor brain to no end...

Whoever said that you always hurt the one you love was right on the money. And poor Daria is torn between two lovers. True, I didn't expect her to be that cold and rough with Brittany, but you would too if someone was that annoying to you, yet I also couldn't blame Britt either, when it comes to love. Guess love can be bad luck.
-a440

Coming up: "You're Breaking My Heart"