As cliche as it may sound, it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood where
people can come back to life at the snap of a finger and people have hands
larger than their heads. Cloud was sleeping in late, as he had a habit of
doing, since the "saving the world and killing Sephiroth" this had gone to
Cloud turned over in bed and muttered to himself. "Will
Suddenly, in the world of irony, some bright deity had a bright idea in
their bright head in their bright kingdom of bright...Anyway, some deity of
irony had an idea.
"Now," said the deity of irony, "Cloud seems to have a swollen head. So, I
should transport him to another game! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! I know...how
Unfortunately, in the seconds it had taken for the deity to finish its
sentence, Yuffie had hired seventeen lawyers, who all sued the deity of
irony for copyright infringement of her laugh. By the time it had all gone
through the system, Chrono Trigger was long finished, and the deity of
irony was forced to settle for Chrono Cross. And yet, through all of this,
Cloud remained sleeping.
"Serge..." called a voice. "Serge, it's time to get up. Wake up,
"Shaddap. I'm comin' I'm comin'..." Cloud sat up in bed, and yawned. He
swung his legs out over the side of the bed. then walked out into the main
room of his house.
"Serge, don't you know what...time...it is..." Marge swallowed, then gave a
nervous laugh. "Um, Serge. Your hair looks very spikey and blond today."
"Stop calling me Serge, it's eleven thirty, way too early to wake up, an'
make me some pancakes." Only then did he look around. "Hunh. This isn't my
house. Oh, well."
Marge looked shocked. "The Video Game Character Formerly Known As Serge!
Don't you know you don't eat in this game?"
"Hey...Who are you?"
"Me? I'm your mom. Amnesia again?"
"Yeah, whatever. Wellp, I'm goin' to get some breffist."
Marge shook her head and pressed her lips together firmly. "No, young man,
you're going to see Leena!"
"Who and why?"
"Leena, your possible girlfriend, because it's required to advance the
"Hunh. Okay. By the way, d'you know the way back to Midgar?"
"Midgar? You mean Termina?"
Cloud glared at her. "Does the name Midgar sound like Termina?"
"No, but that's never bothered anyone in Squaresoft games before!"
"..." Cloud sighed.
"Hey, there's something wrong with you...Oh! I know! You have a picture on
your text box, and you're talking!"
"Hunh? What the heck is a picture on a text box?"
Marge pointed up. "You see that big brown box up there?"
"You mean the dialogue box?"
She nodded. "See, if you're any playable character but Serge, you have a
picture by your line. Serge...Well, he doesn't say anything until he turns
into Evil Serge...but that's later."
"'Kay. Later, lady."
"What did I tell you about looking in the text box?"
"You're not my mommy."
"Yes I am."
"Shaddap. Well, I'm off to see Laura."
"Her name's Leena."
Cloud looked around in awe. "This is odd...It's bright and cheery. The
music is better than Midgar's. And..." He gasped. "I'm beautifully
rendered, relatively proportional, and have small hands! Finally!" He
reached into his key items and pulled out a jar of pickles. He pulled the
cap off and reached into the jar, taking out and eating one of the pickles.
"My hands are small enough to do this...Who knows what else I can do!"
In true Square style, Cloud walked into a house and grabbed whatever wasn't
nailed down. After a moment, he bent down to pet a cat.
"Ah, young Serge, I see you have overcome your fear of cats," began an old
woman. "You were attacked by a panther demon, you see, when you were very
"My name's not Serge, and I love cats. One of my best friends is a cat. Or
is he? ...What is Red XIII? Okay, well, someone who was sent to spy on me
was a cat. Wait, no, Cait Sith is a robot. Um, never mind, I hate cats."
With that, he knocked the old woman down, took her purse, and kicked the
cat out into the ocean, then ran away.