Author: NellietheMarvelous PM
With Red John out of the picture, Lisbon thought Jane was acting fine until he shocks the heck out of her with one question that leaves her contemplating everything. She has no idea how to answer him but once she does, she knows things won't be the same.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Patrick J. & Teresa L. - Chapters: 54 - Words: 246,287 - Reviews: 1,291 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 399 - Updated: 05-26-13 - Published: 02-12-10 - id: 5738470
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Only in my dreams...actually nope, not even then because even in my dreams, I'm poor. Meh.
A/N: Another chapter for you guys! I just couldn't keep it to myself. It was clawing to get out. I had forgotten how much I truly loved this story. Also, I'm working on some sketches of their little family moments. Like Aubry's cuteness and of course a few other things as well. I just never have much free time anymore but I'm trying!
Also, once again, I have no internet and I'm on borrowed time. I promise when I get internet, I will reply to each of you awesome reviewers personally.
The nerves were beginning to settle in Lisbon's stomach. It was early but she couldn't force herself to go back to sleep. She'd tried that and it ended with her lying on her side and staring at her husband's face. His features were still relaxed and peaceful. He always looked so much younger when he was sleeping. The lines in his skin were smooth and less pronounced. Her hand reached up from beneath the blanket to trace over the slope of his nose. She had to bite her lip and hold back a laugh when he scrunched his face at her caress but he didn't wake. Her fingers danced along his jaw, moving down to tuck themselves around to the nape of his neck. Excitement and fear bubbled in her blood, she was brimming with it. Why wasn't he awake?
Today was the day. She was nervous and she wanted him to be awake too. He needed to be there and suffer through it with her. Her nails gently scraped along his skin - something she knew would rouse him in more ways than just causing him to open his eyes. His brow furrowed and a low moan rumbled from his chest. Lisbon pressed herself closer, let her body melt into his and then with one last look at his face, she closed her eyes and nipped at his mouth. That would definitely gain his full attention.
The second her tongue traced along the seam of his lips to chase away the sting of her bite, he was awake. She knew when his arms tightened around her waist and practically pulled her on top of him that he was no longer in the dream world. When his mouth opened against hers and she was engulfed in the heat of him, it was pretty clear that sleep was far behind.
"Teresa," Her name had never sounded so sensual until she'd heard it whispered from his lips that very first night they'd made love as husband and wife. The man knew exactly what to say and do to make her want nothing more than to pin him to the bed and never leave.
She could feel him, hard against her stomach and her hips rolled against him. He sucked in a sharp breath and pulled back from her seeking mouth. She knew why he was delaying and she knew he was right. There was something more important that needed to be done. But for several long seconds, they stayed like that. Her straddling him, his hand on her cheek and her lips only millimeters from his. Their breath mingled and before she knew it, he was smiling and pressing a soft kiss against the corner of her lips.
"You can't sleep."
"Not at all. I don't know how you can." He opened his eyes and finally, she saw those gorgeous green pools that she could drown in forever. So soft and warm.
"Because you're next to me."
"You love it." She did. Sometimes. "You're nervous, aren't you?"
The way she looked away and blushed gave him the answer that she didn't want to voice. It was obvious that she was. Her stomach was starting to churn uncomfortably - she briefly wondered if she'd actually end up getting sick. His hand turned her face back towards his and she bit her lip before she whispered her true fear into their dimly lit bedroom.
"I just don't want to be disappointed."
"I'm nervous too." Relief flooded her instantly. Yes, she'd known on some level that he was nervous but to hear him confirm it was overwhelming and reassuring. So was the soft kiss he pressed against her lips as his hand smoothed up and down her spine. "Let's do it."
"Okay." Neither moved. Lisbon couldn't, her legs felt incapable but then she felt Jane nudge her thighs and she knew what he was suggesting. They couldn't put it off anymore. It was bad enough that she'd talked them both into waiting until the case was solved. She had to know. And she had to know yesterday. "I'm going."
"Bring it out here, we'll cuddle to pass the time." She ignored the smirk on his face as she climbed off of him and headed for the bathroom. It was time to learn if there was a baby growing inside of her...again. She closed the door with one last look at the man rolling to press his face into the space she'd vacated and with a sigh, she set to work.
Her hands shook and made her fumble with the pregnancy test but she eventually wrangled it out of the package and somehow managed to calm her stomach long enough to do what she needed. Who had even invented these things? Peeing on a stick - such a ladylike thing to do, she thought. It was ridiculous but at least it didn't take hours or days. After capping the small piece of plastic and washing her hands, she headed back to Jane.
Her stomach was doing flips and twisting all different directions when she approached the bed. She went straight to his side, setting the test down on the nightstand to wait. He reached for her hand, intertwined their fingers and gave a small tug. She went into his arms willingly - easing down in the small space on the very edge and letting him wrap her in his hold. She buried her face in his chest and inhaled. Calm. He was her calm. He kept her from pacing back and forth for three minutes but her heart was still racing. Or maybe that was his heart she could hear...perhaps both of theirs.
"If I'm not..."
"Shh, Reeses, don't fret. I'm generally always right - as you're well aware - and I say that you are indeed carrying my child." A chuckle spilled from her lips, fluttering across his skin. The man was something else and the way his fingers were moving up and down along her spine made heat flare in her veins. She needed to focus.
"How are we supposed to explain this to Aubry?"
"She's still too young to fully understand the concept but I think she'll be a great big sister. She already loves Penguin like she's part of the family." Unable to stop herself, Lisbon nipped at his neck to make him yelp.
"Penguin is part of the family. She sleeps under Aubry's crib like a protector and I've never seen a puppy that is so easy to handle." It was pretty obvious that both women in the house were in love with the adorable pup and even though she hated to stroke her husband's ego, Lisbon raised up to give him a soft kiss. "You did good, Patrick. Real good."
"Again, you act shocked that I knew what I was doing." Jane let out a small huff against her mouth before he captured her bottom lip with his teeth. She held back the moan threatening to bubble up and spill out when he tugged gently on the plump flesh. Goodness, what was wrong with them? They were acting sex crazed and there was a more pressing matter at hand than how fast they could get their clothes off.
"Maybe because I know that you tend to just wing it and hope for the best."
"Nonsense." Lisbon rolled her eyes and buried her face back into his neck. It was safer if she wasn't near his mouth at that point but then her eyes drifted down the bed and she could see his reaction to their wandering hands, playful banter, and stolen kisses. Ugh, she needed him. She was a ball of nerves, she was on fire, and she just needed him to calm her down.
Her mind was racing and not all of her thoughts were good. She wanted another baby but what if this was too soon? What if it took away from the attention that Aubry deserved? Could she even handle two babies?
"Patrick, is this fair to Aubry? She's still so young - she's not even speaking yet and she just started walking." Their baby now toddled everywhere - only crawling when playing with toys in the floor.
"I'm going to tell you something and it's something I didn't think was possible until you told me that you were pregnant with Aubry so listen up Teresa, because this is something you need to hear." She waited but he didn't continue, he nudged her hip and waited until she moved to look up at him.
"I thought Charlotte would be my only child. I didn't think it'd be fair if I ever had more but then I realized you wanted a family, and I wasn't being fair to you. I'm being completely honest when I tell you that I wasn't sure I could love another child as much as I loved my first but then Aubry happened and I don't love her any less - any differently. She's my baby and she's perfect." His eyes were swimming with unshed tears and Lisbon was speechless. He was being so open. He'd never told her any of this before.
"You're a great dad."
"And you are a natural mother. Another baby isn't going to take away from the love and attention we give our little Bear - it's only gonna multiply. It becomes another part of you." Her lip was trembling by the time he'd finished talking and she was pretty sure that if her hands hadn't been fisted against his chest then they'd be shaking terribly.
She brought one up to rest against his cheek and noticed that it was, indeed, trembling. How did they become the sappy married couple? When did that even happen? She couldn't remember. It had just been one hardship after another and somewhere along the way, they'd found their rhythm.
"Anytime." Neither of them moved for several seconds - both of them content to stay wrapped up in their moment with emotions swirling between them. Lisbon wanted to let her hands trail down and tug at his clothing but just when she let her fingers slide against his chest, he caught her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. "It's been more than three minutes."
She released a breath, blowing it out through her parted lips before she could even think about reaching for the test. She looked at him and let him see the panic in her eyes. She couldn't look. She couldn't deal with it. If she wasn't pregnant and she'd spent all this time talking with him about a baby and letting him rub her stomach at night before they fell asleep...she just couldn't.
He reached for it. Her breath caught in her throat and her lip found its way between her teeth. She started shaking her head in hopes that it would somehow sway the result in her favor. She'd never thought she would be here. She never thought she'd be so devastated by just the thought of not being pregnant. Not after feeling so lost and unsure when she'd found out the first time that she was expecting. She didn't regret Aubry but the circumstances hadn't been ideal. Things were better this time and it just hurt to think about how it could all be a mistake and the test would tell them that she wasn't carrying a tiny being within her.
She watched his eyes flick over the plastic and tried to read his expression. For what seemed like hours, he just looked at the thing. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage. It was racing and she needed him to say or do something. Anything. Her stomach churned violently and she rocked against his side to get his attention.
"Jane," His name was whispered, her voice shaking but it got his attention. His gaze snapped up to meet with hers and then a grin split his features. A smile so bright and beautifully happy that she knew. His single nod only gave her more confirmation. She was pregnant. They were going to be parents again.
Without even trying, she knocked the test from his hand and sealed her mouth to his. She could feel something wet on her cheeks and she didn't know if it was her tears or his or perhaps both but relief and arousal flooded through her. She didn't care. A laugh escaped and he swallowed it, chasing it away by letting his hands lift the shirt she was wearing to touch bare skin.
Yes. This was exactly what she wanted. It was what she needed. He didn't waste any time with slowly undressing her - her shirt hit the floor within seconds and the cool air made her skin tighten. She loved to watch him, watch his eyes darken when they roamed her bare chest before coming back up to her mouth. Just to drive him crazy, she sucked on her bottom lip. Usually he would moan or say something in a rather gruff voice but this time, he took action.
His arms wrapped around her, pulled her into his lap and he sat up to crush her bare torso against his. Heat flooded between her thighs but she held back the vocal appreciation. He didn't need an ego boost - not at that particular moment. She needed to feel his skin against hers, reassure her that everything was right and happy but he wasn't making it easy. He seemed rather pleased with just touching her. Rubbing her back, holding her as close as possible and...oh...nipping her collarbone.
He bit down on her sensitive flesh, the tender spot just above the swell of her breast and she rocked her hips against him as her eyes fluttered. No. No, she needed to focus. Forcing her brain to stay on track, she tugged at the fabric covering his chest.
"Shut up." She used her tongue to part his lips, to make him shut up. He was turning her to mush without even moving. His mouth slowed against hers and she tried to amp it back up but he wasn't having it. Her disappointed whimper became a moan when he pulled away from her lips and brushed his hand down to the band of her panties.
His fingers dipped inside, caressing the skin of her lower abdomen. Fire engulfed her, took complete control of her body. She could feel how damp she was, knew that he could too but he was still just watching her. She wanted him to hurry up.
"Jane." It was a growl in their quiet room.
"Mrs. Jane." He was mocking her and he was enjoying it, she could tell. One of his fingers brushed the sensitive swollen flesh between her thighs and her hips thrust. "Take these off."
He snapped the elastic of her panties to emphasize his request. Wordlessly, she moved off of him, slid the scrap of cloth down her legs until it rested somewhere near the end of the bed. He was doing the same with his own clothes. Bare skin was being revealed and she felt her breath hitch. He was beautiful. She loved the color of his skin, the dusting of hair that trailed down from his navel. All of him.
The intense arousal tampered, the need to have him immediately waned when she let her eyes meet with his. Love. All she could see was love and the obvious amounts of lust but mostly just love.
They met in the middle of the bed, both on their knees as their bodies pressed into each others. She let him slow it down, let him caress her skin like it was something to be treasured. They both watched as goosebumps followed the trail he mapped. Up from her wrist, to the inside of her elbow - which always made her giggle - up over her shoulder to finally come to rest on the side of her neck. He brushed her hair to the side and she felt all the air leave her lungs when his mouth replaced his fingers at her throat.
She went willingly when he sat and pulled her into his lap. The same position they'd started in. Her mind briefly wondered where the pregnancy test had ended up but then he flicked his tongue across her nipple and it all went black. He was gentle with her, never using too much pressure or teeth but just enough to have her rocking against him.
"Patrick...please." She would not beg. She was simply asking nicely. He responded, lifting her a little and pushing her hips to the right before he eased her back down. Her mouth opened on a silent gasp and her eyes rolled back in her head at the feel of him. She let herself engulf him, let her hips set an easy pace that would have them both close within merely minutes. They were good at this. So very good.
It still hadn't completely registered yet. She was pregnant. Sitting at her desk and staring at the pictures of her husband and daughter - Lisbon let her hand brush over her lower stomach. A smile tugged at her lips and she was just about to whisper something to the tiny thing that definitely couldn't hear her when a knock jolted her from her bubble.
Her hand remained where it was but her eyes latched onto the redhead entering her office.
"Hey boss," she noticed that Van Pelt was fidgeting.
"Yeah, I'm fine...it's just the last case. I know you took it kinda hard." Lisbon sucked in a breath and the woman in front of her continued on. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. We all know it hit close to home...ya know, with Aubry and everything."
If it wasn't for the terrible timing, Lisbon might have laughed. Yeah, the case had been rough and she'd cried in Jane's arms at least twice but it wasn't just because of Aubry. But they weren't telling the team about their newest addition just yet. She briefly considered giving the usual 'I'm fine' but then she rethought it. Two years ago, she would have but things have changed so much and honestly, Grace was a good friend to have. A good person to talk to.
"It was hard but I'll be okay."
"The boys were talking about all of us going out for a drink, you in?" She didn't want to say no but she really didn't want to end up in some bar where she'd be surrounded by people filled with too much alcohol. Just the thought was making her nauseous.
"Sure but can we make it dinner instead? I want to bring Aubry."
"Sounds great. I'll let the boys know."
"Oh, and tell the boys that the next time they're worried about me, they can come in here themselves." The two of them shared a smile and Van Pelt shook her head before she left the office. Once she was out of sight, Lisbon realized her hand was still pressed into her abdomen. Hm, she needed to be careful about that.
It wasn't until they were all seated in a large round booth at a random diner that she finally let herself relax. Nobody seemed aware that she was pregnant so clearly no one noticed that she had only pretended to drink her coffee - or that she'd ordered water with her plate of fries and chicken strips. Definitely a 'pregnant-with-Jane's-kid-thing'. It was the only time she craved chicken so bad she wanted it for at least two out of three meals a day.
Aubry was passed from her mother's lap to her father's and then around as each person took their turn. Their daughter was thoroughly loved and doted on. She had become a part of the entire team and was currently stealing some of Rigsby's fries. Her little fingers wrapped around one of the deep fried potatoes and brought it clumsily up to her mouth - just as the man she was sitting on did the same thing.
"You're teaching my daughter bad habits, Rigs." Lisbon's playful tone made both Rigsby and Aubry look up with a fry hanging half way out of their mouths. It was a picture worthy moment.
"Wha -?" He looked dumbfounded, Grace giggled and Cho was nonchalantly taking a swig of water. This was her family. When he was done, Cho reached for the baby - Lisbon didn't care how many times he said he didn't like kids, the man loved that little girl.
"Let me see her, before she starts talking with her mouth full too."
"She doesn't talk yet. We've tried to get her to say 'mama'." Jane frowned and squeezed her thigh under the table. She ignored the way his thumb brushed the inseam of her jeans.
"And 'dada'." She quirked her eyebrow in his direction but he didn't seem phased. "We have a bet going on which one she'll say first."
Everyone was watching Aubry interact with Cho, the way she curled her fingers around his thumb and held on tight - the way he let her. Her bright green eyes brightened and she smiled - showing off her front teeth. There was nothing better than that adorable grin. So much like her father's. Although Jane always informed her that their little one had inherited her bashful tilt of the lips and her sly grin. Lisbon wasn't sure she actually believed him.
It was Van Pelt that broke their silence of admiring the beautiful baby.
"Her hair is getting lighter." It was. Her once dark curls were becoming a soft light brown. Almost a perfect mix of her parents. "You two make pretty babies."
Lisbon choked on the chicken she was in the process of chewing and felt her face flush red. Out of all the things to be said by Grace, she hadn't expected that. Jane patted her on the back and handed her the glass of water. He didn't seem too shocked by the statement, instead, he was taking it in stride. Almost proud.
"Thank you, although she's the spitting image of her mother so I don't think I can take much credit." As the coughing subsided, and the cool water was gulped down, Lisbon looked at the man sitting next to her. He was being awfully sweet. Normally she wasn't much for public displays of affection in front of the team despite the fact that they were married and had a baby but she was feeling generous on this night. Maybe it was byproduct of his sweet words, the hand stroking her thigh or the knowledge that there was a new baby tucked safely within her but she let her hand grasp his beneath the table and her head fell against his shoulder.
"They always like this, kid?" Cho asked the little one resting on his knee. She looked up at him and frowned. "It's sickening."
Lisbon had opened her mouth, quick with a retort but it died on her lips when her daughter made a noise. Just a little giggle but it was what followed that giggle that had everyone at the table in shock.
A tiny voice, saying something no one expected.
"Cho...Cho...Cho." At first Lisbon let it slide, thinking that her child was simply putting together a string of noises but then Aubry snuggled into the man the name belonged to and said it again. She knew what she was saying and she was actually saying something everyone could understand. Her first word. Oh, her baby girl had just said her very first word.
Warmth flooded her chest and she looked away from their daughter to glance up at Jane. He was smiling - the same smile he'd had on his face when she'd taken her first steps. The one that he wore the day she'd been born. But then the reality of what had happened crashed in on her. Her baby just uttered her first word...and it hadn't been 'mama'.
"She just talked!" Lisbon looked at her daughter seated in Cho's lap and wanted to groan in frustration.
"We've been trying for months, how did you get her to say something?" He patted Aubry's head, making her giggle and snuggle against his arm. He could claim he didn't like the kid all he wanted but it was clear to everyone that he was wrapped around her little finger. Cho just shrugged and let the girl steal his tater tots.
"Looks like neither of you won the bet." Rigsby stated while taking a bite of his burger. Before Lisbon could even think of glaring at him, he was yelping and looking over at Van Pelt as if she'd done something to cause his discomfort. She would have to thank her later. "Sorry."
A hand brushed along her back and Lisbon relaxed again - let her head rest against her husband's shoulder once more. He was comfortable and she was tired. Oh, she was tired. She hadn't noticed until then - hadn't let herself fully relax enough for the exhaustion to set in. That's what she got for staying up late to watch Aubry sleep and not being able to drift off for more than thirty minutes at a time throughout the night. But now they knew and she wasn't a nervous ball of energy.
She'd be asleep in five minutes if they didn't leave soon. She didn't want to. She liked being with her team - unwinding with them over a meal. But it was getting late and her baby girl was starting to yawn and get a little cranky with the food she was stealing. Warm lips pressed to her head and she felt Jane breathe the words into her hair.
"I think it's about time for us to head out. It's almost Aubry's bedtime." She hummed her agreement and held her arms out for her daughter. The little one came willingly and nuzzled her face against Lisbon's shoulder. Yeah, she wasn't the only sleepy one. "Dinner was a great idea, we'll have to get together more often outside of work."
"Or we could start inviting everyone to the house every Sunday or something. We have plenty of room. If you guys would like?"
She didn't remember the car ride home or even climbing in bed but she remembered the way Jane ushered her through their front door with their sleeping little girl in his arms. She recalled the feel of his hand on her back and the press of his lips to her temple. She knew he told her to get some sleep and he'd put Aubry to bed and make sure their puppy was taken care of.
Now snuggled into the pillow on his side, she could feel herself drifting in and out. She was trying to wait up for him but it wasn't working. She was just so tired and he was taking too long. Briefly her mind wandered to places of babies and whether the child growing within her would look like Aubry or if this one would be a whole new bundle of features. Would this baby resemble Jane more? She kinda hoped he did. Oh, he, yeah she supposed she was kinda hoping for a boy this time around.
Things in blue and green. Elephants, maybe, to decorate the room. It didn't matter either way - another girl would be great too. Her thoughts faded out and her muscles relaxed.
That was how Jane found her. Asleep on his side of the bed - well both sides really. Her upper body thrown across his pillow but her legs were still on her side. He'd married a bed hog. It was a good thing he could work with it. He stripped down to his boxers, not bothering with pajamas and settled in behind the woman he loved. She was warm - her heat drew him in like a moth to a flame. He curled his body around hers and gently tucked her hair to the side so it wouldn't tickle his nose. She always smelled so good and he loved to bury his nose in her neck. He inhaled her scent, let his face press into her skin until she hummed softly and scooted back into him.
He pulled her to his chest, letting his legs tangle with hers and one of his arms drape over her waist. His hand landed in the cradle of her hips, his fingers stroked over the skin that was showing from her shirt riding up. The small sliver that wasn't covered by her underwear and his heart surged in his chest at the warmth of her beneath his touch. Another baby - she was keeping another child of his safe. Maybe this one would look like him, although, he wasn't opposed to having several little mini Teresa's running around with their big green eyes and bashful smiles.
Yeah, that wouldn't be bad at all. Pushing his lips against her neck in a sweet kiss - he let his eyes drift shut just as the woman in his arms shifted and mumbled.
"Shh, sleep." She snuggled into him, let her fingers link with the ones he had resting on her stomach and after a few minutes, her body relaxed. Once again she was off in the land of slumber and he was left with his thoughts. It happened a lot but he knew she was tired tonight. She hadn't slept much the night before and oddly, he had. His brain was too active to sleep now but he kept his eyes closed. Something told him that he wasn't going to be getting much rest.
Next: Fear crept into her chest, took over her body. Her heart skipped a beat - perhaps several - and she tried to bite back the sob that threatened to spill out. She couldn't do this. She didn't want to do this. No. Just no.
"Reeses..." She couldn't handle the softness in his voice. She couldn't deal with the sadness in his eyes. He wasn't supposed to look like he felt sorry for her when he was the one...no.
"Don't. Just please don't." Her hand reached for his, lacing their fingers together and stroking her thumb along his knuckles. Her heart calmed and she took a deep breath. "Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."