Chapter 11

"I know Em, and I never should have let it get that far, but he made me feel like I meant everything to him. I felt loved. He cared about me; he was so determined to swoop me off my feet that he visited me here in DC simply to take me out to dinner. One thing led to another and before I knew it we were in a sort-of relationship. It felt good to have someone around, and at the same time, I still had the freedom to do what I wanted." JJ sighed as a frown appeared on her forehead.

"That was until I told him that I was pregnant. I hardly had time to adjust to the idea before he told you all that I was pregnant and that he asked me to marry him. I panicked when he asked me, he said that he would give me time, but he didn't. Not really anyway. Sure we didn't get married, but we were living together before I had really been able to wrap my head around the new situation."

JJ took a sip from her drink; "So much changed in a matter of days..."

"I understand what you mean, sometimes you do something because it makes you feel good despite the fact that it might be the wrong thing."

JJ nodded and looked up at her friend; "I cared for him, I love him because he gave me Henry but I am not in love with him. I have never truly been in love with him and Emily, I have always known that he loved me more then I loved him. For a while I believed that my love for him would grow."

JJ leaned forward and refilled both of their glasses; she leaned back against he couch and downed half the glass. "I made such a mess of everything."

Emily leaned closer to JJ and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "It'll work out JJ, you just hit a rough patch."

"I hope your right."

"I am, trust me. Things might seem hard and difficult now but JJ, you weren't happy and you are now choosing your own happiness. You'll be fine, mark my words." Emily said smiling at JJ. She believed that things would be better for JJ because she was following her own happiness instead of settling for what she had. Now if only she could apply that same wisdom to her own life then maybe she could be happier as well. But from the outside looking in was always easier then actually being in that same situation.

"I hope so." JJ said before she downed the last of the wine down her throat. She smiled weakly and tried to stifle a yawn. Emily lightly touched JJ's knee in a reassuring manner and got up.

"Maybe I should go home so you can get some sleep, you look like you could use it." Emily said while she headed for the hallway.

"Emily?" JJ's voice was barely more than a whisper; nevertheless the older woman had heard her. She turned around, watching her as she waited for her to continue. "Could you stay... here? I don't want you to drive home and I don't want to be alone either." JJ's pleading blue orbs watched Emily intensely. She could hear Garcia's voice in the back of her head telling her that she should talk to Emily about the real reason why she never loved Will but she couldn't. It was too soon; the wounds were still too fresh.

"Okay, I'll stay. I'll just get my go-bag from my car." She waited for JJ to react, and when she nodded she turned around and left. Within a couple of minute's she was back, her familiar go-bag in her hand.

"I can only offer you the couch, we changed the guest room into Henry's room."

"No problem, Jayje. With the job we have I've learnt to sleep anywhere." She smiled.

JJ got up and took the glasses to the kitchen; "I'll go and get you a pillow and a blanket, and if you'll follow me I'll show you where the bathroom is." JJ offered with a smile and led the way up the stairs. She left Emily in the bathroom and went back downstairs carrying the pillow and blanket. When Emily returned downstairs JJ had already made up her bed on the couch.

"Thanks Emily." JJ said to the other woman before she made her way up the stairs. Emily watched her as she walked away, her shoulders slumped and her eyes puffy. But all in all JJ looked a tad bit relieved now that she had told Emily what happened between her and Will. Emily laid down on the couch, thinking about everything JJ had told her and wondering how it might impact the future for a while, before falling asleep.

The next morning JJ found herself in her bed but she couldn't quite remember how she got there. She could feel the dull headache beginning which only came from drinking too much alcohol. All she knew that her eyes hurt because they were swollen from the salty tears she cried.

She tried to open her eyes but the light shining through the window was too bright, so she quickly covered them with her arm. And bit by agonizing bit the harshness of her reality came back to her. Instead of telling Will that she wasn't happy in their relationship, he had figured it out by himself and confronted her. And to top it off the person who was unintentionally and unknowingly causing JJ's mixed feelings, had been the one who offered her a shoulder to cry on.

JJ wasn't sure what she was supposed to think of the situation. It made it that much more confusing for her to figure out what her next step would be. She knew that Garcia was convinced that everything would be okay if she came clean to Emily about her feelings.

JJ sighed and blinked her eyes a couple of times, she didn't want to start crying again. This was supposed to be a step in the right direction. This was a good thing, well maybe not yet, but one day she was supposed to look back and see that it had truly been the turning point in her life.

JJ wanted to get up and take a shower when she suddenly became aware of a sound downstairs. She got up quietly and made her way over to the closet, reaching for the spare gun safe she had stashed away. She took out the gun and quietly crept along the hallway and down the stairs. The sounds where distinctively coming from in the kitchen. She avoided stepping on the creaking floorboard at the bottom of the stairs where she stayed for a few seconds, drawing breath. This unsub had chosen to break into the wrong house at the wrong time. She kicked the door which was slightly ajar further open and raised her gun in front of her. The person leaning against the counter dropped a mug into the sink shattering it into a thousand small pieces before she spun around. "Emily!" JJ squeaked out simultaneously with Emily's; "JJ!"

JJ immediately lowered her gun and stared at the other woman standing in her kitchen who had been preparing coffee as if she belonged there, as if she had done it a thousand times before. "You scared the shit out of me! Did you forget that I was here?" Emily asked when her heartbeat finally seemed to slow down.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you... I just thought that someone was trying to rob me or something." JJ sighed and shook her head; "I don't know what I was thinking, I was lost in thought ... I ehm sorry must have been completely out of it."

"Here have some coffee, I was only preparing it, not stealing it. I would never even attempt to steal your coffee, I would like to live a little longer." Emily answered with a chuckle. She still wondered each day how a coffee addict like JJ managed to go without coffee for months when she was pregnant with Henry.

"Well you better not steal my coffee." JJ smiled back with a mock glare at the other woman while she placed the gun on top of the counter between them, a gesture which usually would have been considered hostile. Yet Emily laughed even more at JJ's gesture with the gun before she asked her if it was okay to pour herself a mug of coffee also. "As long as you leave the rest of my mugs in one piece you can have some coffee as well."

They sat in silence for a while both enjoying the hot liquid when JJ suddenly spoke up; "Emily, why did you stay here?"

"You asked me if I could stay. You were pretty upset and when we stopped talking it was pretty late and you offered me the couch. It seemed like the better plan since I had a couple of glasses of wine."

JJ smiled apologetically; "I can't remember the last bit of our evening. I can't remember that I asked you but if you drank too much then it is good that you stayed here instead of going home. I don't want you to put yourself in danger."

Emily took a sip from her coffee; "I didn't want to wake you up so I made some coffee for the both of us. And I was thinking about making something for breakfast but there is not much in your fridge so maybe I should take you out to grab a lunch together. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much. Would you mind if I take a quick shower? You could grab one too if you want?"

Emily smiled; "Sounds like a plan."