An: Thanks so much for your reviews! I have a twitter account under the same username as I have here, add me if you like. :)

Chapter 12

It took the both of them thirty minutes to get ready, and Emily offered to drive to the diner. They left the house and JJ guided Emily towards the diner that was close to her house, one she had visited with Will a couple of times before. They entered the busy diner, finding a place in the back; not having to wait too long before a waitress came to ask them what they wanted. They both placed their order, and JJ watched the waitress leave before she averted her eyes to the brunette sitting across from her. She bit her lip before she drew in a breath, opening her mouth to speak. "Emily? Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, ask away. If I can answer, I will." Emily replied with a reassuring smile.

"Have you ever been in love, I mean really in love with someone? Wanting to spend every moment with that particular person? Completely trusting them and giving them your heart?" JJ watched as Emily fidgeted with her hands.

Emily opened her mouth a couple of times as if she were trying to answer the question but the words wouldn't leave her mouth. She took a minute before she actually formed the answer; the question JJ asked her had thrown her. She never expected that JJ would asked her a question like that so bluntly; "I don't know. I have been in love, I guess. But not the mind blowing kind of love you're talking about. Why are you asking? Are you in love with someone?" Emily fired the question right back at JJ, it was one of the questions that had been on her mind for a while, if JJ could ask blunt questions then Emily could as well.

JJ almost choked on her drink, which the waitress had placed on their table a moment before. What was she supposed to say? She should have expected this question from Emily, and knowing her, she had probably picked up on something more than JJ wanted her to see. She knew that if she told this to Garcia, she would probably say that this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Emily about her feelings, or at least test the waters to see how Emily reacted to her being bisexual. But she wasn't ready, and she was starting to panic about finding a plausible answer, so she just rambled the first thing that came to mind. "Me, ehm no. It was just a question I had because I was wondering about ... I don't know."

Emily smiled at her rambling friend – it's actually doable to get JJ stumbling over her words - she thought with a smile. She felt a little bit sorry however, that her friend was struggling, so she continued to speak; "I have been in love, but it has never been the mind blowing kind of love, the kind that tells you that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. If I had I might have been with that person today, but as you know since I've met you, I haven't really been with anyone in particular." In part it was a confession, a silent one at that.

Emily had never really been an open book when it came to relationships; she wanted to keep her personal life to herself. She loved the people she worked with and considered them close friends, family, even. Nevertheless, it didn't mean that she wanted to share everything with them. Apart from the fact that she had never really been in a long lasting relationship, she had hardly had any dates at all in the last couple of years. However she would love to have someone around, hence she could understand why JJ had stayed with Will. It felt great to be loved by someone, but it felt even better to love someone back.

JJ seemed to be the same way when it came to her private life, but in contrast to Emily, her life had changed so much over the last couple of years that it would just be a waiting game to see how she would deal with her new found 'freedom'.

The waitress returned with their order and placed it on the table between them, she lingered a little longer to ask if they wanted a refill. JJ denied but asked for another coffee instead, and watched the waitress leave again before she turned her attention back toward Emily. JJ smiled weakly, she was still fighting the internal battle with herself; should she tell Emily about her feelings or not? Was this the right moment or would it be better to wait? Would the right moment ever arrive or had it passed years ago before Will, before her life took a complete 180 and she had Henry?

So many questions were going through her mind, making her completely zoned out, becoming lost in her thoughts. "Jayje? Hey, Jayje?" Emily gently touched her friend's hand, making JJ jump and look up at Emily again. "Are you okay?" The brunette inquired in concern.

"Yes, sorry. I was just lost in thought." JJ smiled apologetically pushing her thoughts to the back of her mind. There would be time to think about what she would do later. The smell of her food suddenly made her realize how hungry she was, and she dug into her food and started eating. Her plate was soon half empty, and she looked up at Emily, who was watching her with an amused smile. "I just realized that I didn't eat yesterday after I came home. I just forgot, Will and I … we fought and when he left I cried myself to sleep, then you called me. You came over and dinner wasn't even on my mind." The blond shrugged, she should take better care of herself.

"Yeah, sometimes other things consume your thoughts so much that you'll forget to eat. We all have days like that every now and again." Emily knew herself well enough to know that every now and again she would forget to eat because she was working a case or too consumed in other things to realize that she had missed a meal. She could only imagine that JJ would be the same.

They enjoyed the rest of their food in a comfortable silence. It didn't take them long before they finished and had another coffee before they left the diner to go back to JJ's place. Emily drove them back and walked back up to the house with JJ, who let them inside. Emily packed her go-bag and got ready to go home. She was glad to see that JJ was seemingly doing a lot better than she had been doing the night before. It had probably all been the shock of the sudden change in her life that made her so emotional, and of course breaking up with someone was never a easy, not even if you were the one initiating it, especially if there were kids involved.

When Emily was ready she walked up to JJ; "I should go now so you can pick Henry up. Try to enjoy your weekend as much as you can Jayje." Emily knew that JJ was going to have a hard time adjusting to her new life, even though this was what she wanted. Her son was also depending on her to provide for him and to take care of him, and now she was going to have to do that all alone. Emily knew that up until now Will had done more than his fair share of the actual care of Henry because he didn't have a job. And since they broke up, he would have to go and provide for himself instead of living of off JJ's earnings.

"I will." JJ replied while biting her lip. She was contemplating her options, should she stop Emily from going away or not? The palms of her hands were sweaty and a shiver ran down her spine. She wanted so badly to tell Emily that she loved her, that she had wanted her all along, and that she couldn't love Will because her mind was consumed with her feelings for the older woman. Instead she nodded and watched as Emily made her way to the couch where she had left her go-bag, she picking it up with ease and walking toward the door. She looked so confident in JJ's place even though she had only been here twice before. The blond hoped that one-day, hopefully soon, Emily would consider her house home. That would be a dream come true, yet at the same time that particular thought scared her to hell. Was she really ready to be with a woman? Could she do that to Henry, or even to Will? And what about work, the fraternization rules and Strauss ... but most importantly was Garcia right, would Emily be open minded and even be willing to consider having a relationship with her?

She watched Emily walk away; every step taking her closer to the door and further away from her. Breathing in and out shallowly, JJ stepped forward, taking a couple of swift strides to move toward Emily, who had just rounded the corner into the hallway, and grabbed her one fast move she turned Emily around and pushed her against the wall, it was as if her mind and body were no longer connected. Her mind screamed at her that this was the wrong way to try and make her feelings clear, but her body seemed to be acting on it's own accord, and she did what she had dreamt of doing so many times. She had always wondered what it would be like to kiss Emily, one of her best friends – a coworker none the less.

JJ leant in to move closer toward Emily, who tried to move away but couldn't due to the wall behind her. In the blink of an eye, before Emily could come react properly, JJ's lips touched hers. The touch was soft, like the flutter of a butterfly, but it sent a shiver down Emily spine nevertheless. For a couple of seconds she was unable to react, but then her mind suddenly seemed to kick start and her first reaction was to push JJ away, so she did. However, the second JJ moved backward she wanted to pull her back close to her again, but she wouldn't allow herself to do so. "No." She said softly but clearly. "No, this is not happening."

She straightened herself out, knowing that she had some height advantage on the younger woman, and she used that difference as leverage while she stared right at JJ; "No, no I'm not going to be your rebound buddy." Quickly she moved around JJ and was out the door before the younger woman could even respond.