AN: Thanks for all the sweet reviews I received over the past couple of days and your continued support. Let me know what you think.

Chapter 13

Emily spun around on her feet and swung the front door open, leaving the house as quickly as she possibly could without actually running away. In a matter of seconds she arrived at her car, and with spinning wheels she backed out of the driveway. She drove away quickly but was forced to stop only two blocks away because tears stung in her eyes and she couldn't see anymore.

She could not allow JJ to play with her heart like that, not now, not ever. It would destroy her; kill her, even if JJ merely used her as a friend with benefits – a fuck buddy. No matter how much she longed to feel the touch of the other woman on her skin, she could never allow that to happen as long as the other woman didn't love her. At least she had her dreams, figments of her imagination in which she could pretend to make love to JJ.

Each day was a struggle; already she had a hard enough time keeping her feelings for JJ at bay. Hidden away in their compartment, which she only allowed to open every once in a while, when the loneliness in her heart became too much for her to handle on her own. Usually that happened when a particularly hard case hit the team, and everyone sought refuge in their own preferred way. Garcia would go out and party with Kevin, Rossi went to his cabin to hunt, Morgan dated some hot woman and Reid played a game of chess or read the latest statistics or whatever it was the boy genius did in his spare time. Hotch and JJ had a similar way of dealing, they would go home and hug their respective sons. And she would drink and imagine what it would be like if JJ loved her, only to wake up the next morning with a pounding headache and an empty and lonely feeling. She would then collect her thoughts and place them back in the compartment before sealing it off, until the next time she needed it for comfort. She knew that it would only ease the pain temporarily, only to come back with a vengeance.

And now this woman who held her heart from the moment she said hello had tried to kiss her. No, she had kissed her. And if it was even possible, her kisses tasted sweeter, her lips softer than Emily ever imagined, and all she could think about was how great it would feel if she kissed her again. But she couldn't do that, ever again.

Starting the ignition again, Emily dried her tears, knowing she needed some time. And she needed a drink too, but most of all she needed to forget what happened. No matter how she put it, the kiss was a one-time thing, it could never happen again. She quickly made her way home, it was Saturday and she knew that on Monday she would have to face JJ, whether she was ready or not.

JJ watched the door with a horrified look, she watched Emily go. She heard the door slam shut and listened to the howling engine of Emily's car as she sped off. JJ wanted to follow her, tell her that she made a mistake but she feared that it wouldn't be enough. She wanted to explain to Emily that she couldn't love Will because the profiler was the one she wanted to be with. But Emily didn't share those feelings, that much was obvious. She had never really been in love with anyone; those had been her exact words. JJ had to face the truth, not only had she lost her relationship with Will, the father of her son, she had lost one of her best friends, and she had found out that there was no chance of a relationship with her either.

The blonde felt miserable, she thought her life was a mess yesterday, but today she had even managed to make it a bigger mess and it wasn't even noon. She sat down on the stairs and laughed bitterly, she was glad that it was the weekend; at least she didn't have to go to work until Monday. That was of course, if no new case which needed their immediate attention came up. She did however, have to pick herself up as best as she could because sooner rather then later she would have to pick up Henry at Garcia's. And she knew that she would never be able to hide what happened from Garcia, she didn't call herself omniscient for nothing.

JJ got up and dragged herself up the stairs, heading to the bathroom where she tried to wash away the tear streaks and hoped that the cold water would relieve her puffy eyes. She didn't want to scare Henry when she picked him up. At least not when she arrived, though knowing that she would inevitably shed more tears before she left Garcia's apartment.

With one last look in the mirror she left the house. It only took her twenty minutes to drive to Garcia's apartment building, and she parked in front of the entrance, sitting there for a few minutes, trying to calm her nerves. But that was easier said then done; she could already hear the comments Garcia would make to her, the blond Tech often shared the same way of reasoning as her nagging inner voice. She grabbed her purse and got out of the car, and with one last deep breath she walked up to the building.

Garcia opened the door and with a cheerful face she stepped aside to let her friend enter her apartment. Henry came running to his mother, who easily picked him up. JJ was used to the little boys antics, and she didn't even stumble backward when his added weight hit her. She hugged him close to her, and that was when the tears started to fall again.

Garcia had seen through the façade right away, the smile plastered on her friends face as she walked up to the house. She had seen immediately that it would only last for a short time, and here the tears were not even a minute after she entered the house. Garcia guided her friend towards her couch. Kevin appeared from the kitchen area of the apartment he stepped up to the two women when he noticed the tears falling down JJ's face. He immediately took action by calling out Henry's name. The little boy looked up at him and smiled.

"Hey big guy, do you wanna go play with your cars outside with me? Just like we did yesterday, so mom and Auntie Garcia can have some girl talk."

"Yes!" Henry squealed loudly.

"Okay, give mom a big hug and a kiss and we will get your cars." Henry wrapped his arms tightly around JJ's neck and gave a her a big sloppy kiss. She lowered him off her lap and he ran towards Kevin, blissfully unaware of his mother's turmoil. Garcia smiled at Kevin who just smiled back and rushed after Henry. Garcia sunk down on the sofa next to JJ. "Talk to me, Jayje?"

Through her tears JJ smiled, a miserable smile. "Believe me, the mess I made of my life yesterday is nothing compared to the mess I managed to made of it today."

"What are you talking about, Gumdrop?" Garcia asked; "I am pretty sure that it can't be that bad, relationships end and you move on. Did he do something to you?"

"Will? No, he just left. He's at a Hotel somewhere, we're gonna talk when things cool down a bit. He's not a bad guy, we just have to see what we're going to do, you know because of Henry." JJ brought her hand up to her face and wiped the tears away. "I kissed Emily." JJ said bluntly without further explanation.

"You ... what! Did you just say you kissed Emily?" Garcia said raising her eyebrow while she snapped her head around and searched the younger woman's face. "How did that happen!"

"She called last night to see if I was alright, which I wasn't. She offered to come over, I told her what happened between me and Will and somehow time got away from us and it was really late. I asked her to stay."

"You asked her to stay, my you sure are moving fast." Garcia said with a happy smile, even though the robotic emotionless fashion in which JJ was talking told her that the end of the story would not be 'happily ever after' at least not at this moment.

"Don't get too excited, she slept on the couch. My former guest room is now Henry's room so there was no other choice."

"Well I can think of another option, but anyway continue. You said you kissed her?"

JJ rolled her eyes, her tears had dried; "This morning she was awake before me and decided to make some coffee and she wanted to make breakfast but couldn't since I didn't really have anything in my fridge. She offered to take me out to a diner and we had breakfast together. I tried to tell her, but I chickened out. However when we got to my house I watched her pack her stuff and I just I couldn't let her go ... and I ... I kissed her."

"Jayje, what happened then?" Garcia asked her arm firmly around JJ's shoulder.

"She pushed me away, told me that she refused to be my rebound buddy and fled from my house. It's over." JJ raised her eyes to Garcia's face, she was extremely calm when she spoke up again. "She's never going to look at me again. She must hate me so much right now ... I scared one of my best friends away, Pen."

"Oh Sugar Plum, did you even talk to her or did you just push her against the wall and kiss her out of the blue?" Garcia asked.

JJ turned a deep shade of red and looked down at her hands; "It doesn't matter, Garcia I screwed up. Everything."

"Oh Jayje, I was just kidding, don't tell me that you really did that?"

"I am just going home, spend the weekend with Henry and try to figure out how I can possibly face her on Monday without screwing up the team dynamics. What if she wants to leave the team because I kissed her. We need every person on that team and despite my feelings, and the way that I screwed up; Emily is an crucial part of the team, we need her. And I know how hard she worked to become a BAU member and I don't want to screw that up for her. I think that I have wrecked enough lives for a life time." JJ's shoulders slumped; "Garcia, what if she decides that this is the proverbial drop, what if she leaves the team because of me?"

"Sweetie, I really don't think that will happen. If all Emily needs some time and you, young lady need to get your act together and talk to her. Preferably as soon as possible before this all spirals completely out of control."