Chapter 14

"I know, but how can I face her after all of this?" JJ said, sounding defeated as she watched the blond tech. "I can't really act like nothing happened, and if I go after her right now I'd be lucky if she doesn't shoot me."

"Jayje, you kissed her, it's not the end of the world, hardly a reason to use violence over. Stop this nonsense right now." Garcia scolded, barely able to contain her laughter at the irrational though process of the young blonde media liaison. Sometimes she wondered how her friend could go on television and tell the press what they wanted to hear without giving them too many details but fail so miserably when it came to communication in her own life. The whole situation with both Will and Emily could have been resolved if she'd just talked about her feelings.

"What am I supposed to do now?" JJ wanted to get up, but a hand on her knee stopped her from doing so. She looked up at her friend and bit her lip. "I screwed it up so badly, I'm not sure I can even fix this."

"Well you could go to her apartment and ring her doorbell, that could be a start. Or you could call her, but I'm not sure if she'll pick up the phone when she sees your caller ID. A phone is too easy to ignore, I think that the direct approach will work better with Emily." Garcia got up, grabbed JJ's hand and took her outside where Kevin and Henry were playing on the grass with the cars JJ packed for Henry.

The little boy was squealing loudly while he banged his toy car against Kevin's. Garcia sat down on the steps in front of the building and watched her boyfriend and her 'nephew' while they played in the sun. JJ sank down next to Garcia and watched Kevin with Henry as well. She couldn't help but smile at the blissfully unaware squeals her son made, she was glad that he was too young to actually know what was going on around him, and that in a matter of days everything had changed. She leaned her head against Garcia's shoulder and revelled in the warmth of the sun. For the first time since she arrived home from their last case she felt some of the tension leave her body, despite the turmoil, which was still going on inside of her, she felt a little more peaceful.

"Jayje, if you want we can watch Henry for a while longer, Kevin is having a blast with him. He can finally play kids games without being frowned upon!" Garcia chuckled as she watched on while Henry supposedly wrestled a very amused Kevin to the ground. "We can take him to the playground at the park. And you could go see Emily in the meantime. You have to fix this, she might just have the wrong idea, you know. She accused you of using her as a rebound buddy and you didn't tell her otherwise. You didn't agree with that statement nor did you do anything to tell her that she was wrong. According to what you told me that's the only thing she accused you off, so for all I know she might be interested in you so long as it's not a temporary thing."

Garcia gently pushed her friend in what she believed to be the right direction, if she had read some of the signals right. She might not have been a profiler in the truest sense of the word, but she too had picked up a trick or two, and of course she had had a front row seat ever since Emily joined the BAU. Plus there was, of course, the simple fact that she was omniscient.

"Maybe I should do that." JJ gave in, yet she didn't move a muscle; instead she even pushed her body further into Garcia's. Closing her eyes, a small smile appeared on her face as she retreated into her mind, pretending momentarily that everything in her world was okay again. Just for a couple of minutes she wanted to feel that way while as she tried to restore some of the depleted energy in her body. She sensed Garcia next to her, and she could hear the sounds of Kevin and Henry playing while the sun warmed her face, everything seemed right if not for the nagging voice in her head.

She allowed herself to rest for a couple of minutes before she sat back up and watched Henry for a little while. The little boy saw that his mother was watching him and came running towards her. He jumped at her when he was right in front of her, and JJ easily caught him and hugged the boy to her chest. He wrapped his small arms around his mother's neck and gave her a couple of sloppy kisses. "Hey baby, what would you say if I told you that Aunty Pen and Kevin will take you to the playground at the park, you know the one with the swing and the slide?"

"Yes! The swing!" Henry exclaimed while he clapped in his hands enthusiastically, he remembered it from the last time mommy and daddy went to the park with him, with Aunty Pen and Kevin.

"Okay sweetie, will you promise me that you will be a good boy and listen to Aunty Pen and Kevin?" JJ asked him, she knew that he was young and probably didn't understand half of what she was saying to him, but she wanted to teach him to communicate properly, ironic as that might sound at this particular time.

Nevertheless, Henry nodded his head up and down, while he screamed no. He hadn't quite figured out that moving his head up and down meant yes and not no, add to that the fact that lately his favourite word seemed to be no, and his answer was explained. JJ and Garcia both chuckled at the little boy's antics.

"Garcia, can you check one thing for me? Can you see if Emily is home?"

Garcia held up her hands; "No Jayje, I won't do that. If it's not a matter of life and death, I will not spy on my friends. That would be like you guys profiling each other, there is an unwritten rule about that."

"But Garcia, I just want you to do a quick GPS find. If she isn't home then there really isn't a reason for me to go there and make an ass out of myself in the hallway of her apartment building." JJ looked up at Garcia over her sons head with those big blue orbs, which she knew Garcia couldn't resist; "Please, I really need to do this, but I'm not sure if I can pluck up the courage to go there again if she isn't home. I'm begging you, I wouldn't ask you this if it wasn't really important to me."

Garcia sighed and got up; "Okay, but whatever you do or whatever happens, you never ever tell her that I did this. I feel bad enough already without her knowing."

"I won't, I promise. Thanks Garcia."

Garcia nodded as she got up and walked back into the apartment building, seemingly returning just mere moments later; "She's home." The two softly spoken words, made the media liaisons heart flutter while a feeling of nervousness settled in her stomach. "Jayje, please be honest with her, she deserves at least that."

JJ stood up, hugging Henry one last time before she set him down on the stoop. He immediately ran off to play with Kevin again. JJ smiled, between her friends and colleagues Henry would have more than enough male role models in his life for all those times when Will wouldn't be around. She was confident enough to know that she could make being a single mom work for Henry if she had to.

JJ slowly walked closer to Emily's building, with each step her heart started to beat faster, and on numerous occasions she wanted to turn around. First, when she stepped into the hallway and saw the security clerk sitting behind his desk in the fancy marble entrance hall of the building. Then when the elevator took too long to arrive, and finally when the doors opened to the right floor and she saw the long hallway in front of her, she had to resist the urge to frantically push the button to close the doors. But since the security guard wanted to call Emily to verify JJ's arrival with her, JJ had resorted to flashing her badge, and she told the clerk that it was official business. And now she was sure that the clerk would ask Emily about it the next time he saw her. So in all honesty she couldn't go back without at least letting Emily know that she had been there.

However, as JJ walked down the corridor, she had herself convinced that Emily wouldn't even want to listen to her no matter what she did. And yet at the same time she knew that she at least had to try to talk to Emily. Despite knowing that she eventually had to knock on the door, JJ took quite a few minutes to try and calm her nerves. But no amount of time would ever make it any easier to actually raise her hand and knock on the wood.

It remained silent for a while after she knocked, and she almost began to think that Emily must have left the house while she was driving over here. But then she heard the distinct sound of someone walking inside, silently, but nevertheless the distinct sound of footsteps, but the door didn't open.

JJ figured that Emily had used the spy hole to see who was in front of the door, but decided not to open up. The blonde listened intently, but she didn't hear the sound of shuffling feet moving away from the door, so she decided to talk to Emily through it if she wasn't going to let her in.

JJ leant closer to the door and sighed deeply, she hoped that her voice sounded steady but doubted that it actually would. "Emily? I'm sorry ... I'm making such a mess of everything. Em, please let me in, we need to talk." The silence on the other side of the door remained, however.

"Please, I don't want to do this through the door, but I will if I have to." JJ placed her hand on the wood and tapped it lightly. She was sure that Emily was right on the other side of the door, and she didn't want to startle her; "Emily, please." JJ pleaded softly.

"Please Emily, I want to explain to you what happened. Em, I should have never kissed you. I mean it was exactly what I wanted to do but I went about it completely the wrong way. I don't see you as a rebound buddy. I see you as so much more then just some fuck buddy."

JJ was startled when the door next to Emily's apartment opened, and an elderly woman stepped outside, eying JJ from top to bottom. She could only pray that the woman hadn't heard what she had been talking about. But whether the woman had listened or not, JJ's face coloured a deep shade of red.

The woman walked through the hallway and passed JJ, still looking her up and down; "I really think that you should have these type of conversations in the privacy of a house and not out in the hallway. This is not the type of conversation a lady should engage in." The woman scolded before she shuffled further down the hallway and disappeared into the elevator.

"Em, please, I'm disturbing your neighbours but I refuse to go away. I know you're there, please let me in so I can explain myself."

JJ listened intently, her heart fluttering when she heard Emily moving behind the door. She heard a click and the door opened slightly. JJ pushed the door further open but she was only met by Emily's back as the older woman retreated into the living room, moving to stand in front of the large window overlooking the Capitol. JJ closed the door behind her, she followed Emily but stood still only a few feet into the room. Emily's shoulders were tense and she didn't face JJ, she was sure that the other woman refused to face her because she knew that JJ could see right through her. Just like JJ knew the other woman could do with her right now, if she turned around.