|I Have To Pee
Author: The Last Letter PM
Candace and Tyler are on a very long drive. Candace has to pee and no matter what Tyler says, she will not go in the bushes!Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Candace B. & Tyler D. - Words: 578 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 02-24-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5773679
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Tyler and Candace were on a drive to visit a victim's home two hours outside of Chicago, and so far, both had entertained homicidal thoughts. They had argued over everything from the radio to what to eat, and both were just having a bad day in general.
Staring out the window, devoid of civilization, Candace suddenly said, "Tyler, I have to pee."
Tyler rolled his eyes. "We passed the last gas station ten minutes ago, why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I didn't have to pee then, but I do now." Candace insisted. Tyler began to pull over. "I am not going in the bushes." She said.
"And I'm not turning around."
"Tyler," Candace whined.
"Either you hold it or you go in the bushes." Tyler pointed to the shoulder of the road.
Candace crossed her arms and went, "Humph." She didn't move, so Tyler continued toward their destination.
Ten minutes of blissful silence for Tyler later, Candace said, "I had to pee."
"Bushes." Tyler said, and kept going.
"Where's the next gas station?" Candace asked.
"Twenty minutes behind us, and I'm not turning around."
"Tyler," Candace repeated, "I really have to pee."
"Then go in the bushes." Tyler replied, for, what he hoped was, the last time.
"I don't want to go in the damn bushes!" Candace shot back.
"Well, either go in the damn bushes or hold it!" Tyler growled, exasperated.
Candace frowned, crossed her arms and legs, and started straight ahead. Suddenly, a plan formed in her mind. "Pull over." She demanded.
"Finally." Tyler muttered under his breath. He was getting his way.
Candace unbuckled her seat belt, then got out of the car, but, instead of doing what Tyler thought she was going to do, she came over to the driver's side, and pulled open the door.
"What the -"
Candace didn't give him time to finish his sentence. She reached across him, undid his seatbelt, then yanked him out of the car. She's strong. Tyler thought, then processed that Candace was in his car, with the doors locked, keys in the ignition.
"You can't leave me here!" He yelled, hitting the window with his palm.
"And I won't," she called back, "I'll come get you after I go to the bathroom."
Tyler watched helplessly as she pulled away. "Damnit." He said.
A boring hour later, Candace returned, smile on her face, music cranked and a blue slushie in her hand. She pulled onto the shoulder, and slid into the passenger's seat, motioning for Tyler to continue driving.
"Why did you do that?" Tyler asked, making sure Candace hadn't disturbed anything before continuing on their way.
"I had to pee, and I wasn't going in the bushes, what else would I do?" Candace asked, swirling her slushie with her straw.
"You could've held it!" Tyler shouted.
"Calm down, I came back, didn't I?"
"After an hour!" Tyler was still angry.
Candace rolled her eyes, leaving Tyler to steam angrily.
Twenty minutes later, the slushie was gone, and Tyler was still angry.
Suddenly Candace said, "Tyler, I have to pee."
Tyler accelerated. No way he was slowing down this time.
It feels rushed to me. Does it feel rushed to you? Oh well. Anyway, this is my attempt at humor (which is my worst, even before fluff!). I don't own The Forgotten. Reviewers are loved.