|Hedwig and the Goblet of Fire
Author: Meteoricshipyards PM
Harry uses Hedwig to test the restrictions on the Goblet of Fire. Obviously, they're not good enough to stop the smartest owl in Britain!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Harry P. & Parvati P. - Words: 3,993 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 1,414 - Follows: 229 - Published: 02-26-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5777316
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
The idea for Harry putting a name in the Goblet of Fire this way comes from ravenwood240, who gave me permission to use it. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They, along with J.K. Rowling, are owned by Hedwig, although she allows JKR to think she owns Harry Potter. No copyright infringement is intended, nor is any money being made. If it was, I'd have to turn it over to Hedwig anyway.
Note: Re-submitting this because screwed up the formatting the first time. I had to do all the formatting by hand; stupid program. Probably written by an owl. OWW! Sorry, Hedwig.
- - -
Hedwig and the Goblet of Fire
"Harry Potter! Are you trying to get your name into the Triwizard Tournament?"
Harry looked up from his "claw." It was attached to a ten foot pole and and could open with a flick of his wand.
He had just loaded the claw with a piece of paper and was now carrying it from the other end of the pole towards the glowing yellow line around the stool that held the Goblet of Fire.
"Of course not. I'd have to be crazy to want to be in the tournament." As he extended the pole over the glowing yellow "age line" the transfiguration he had done to turn a cork into a claw was dispelled, and the paper fluttered to the floor.
"I can't believe you just lied to me!" Hermione gasped out.
"I didn't lie."
"I just saw you try to enter the tournament!"
"No, you just saw me try to put a name in the Goblet."
"Don't mince words with me! If you succeeded you would have been entered into the contest!"
"No, Colin would." He showed her the paper, which said 'Colin Creevey.'
"Why are you trying to enter Colin?"
"Because there's no way he would be picked. There's no way a third year would be picked over a seventh year as the best of Hogwarts."
"Then why don't you put your own name?"
"Who knows how this thing picks people? If it's the person the most other people have heard of, my name might come out of the Goblet. I didn't want to take that chance."
"The twins are off brewing aging potion. Ron and Draco already beat the age line. . . ."
"Ron and Draco?"
"Ron thought of it, and Draco actually did it, because Ron lacked the resources."
"How . . . ?" She was flabbergasted. "Dumbledore drew that age line himself! I'm sure he thought of everything!"
"Ron thought of asking a seventh year who didn't want to be in the contest to put his name in. The Ravenclaw asked for money, which Ron didn't have, but Draco did, so Draco got his name put in. I figured if there was one hole in the security, there might be more. I've already tried levitating the paper in, but the spell failed as it crossed the age line. I wadded up the paper and threw it in from outside the age line, and that worked. . . ."
"You mean, you've already entered Colin?"
"No, Ron. I wasn't going to him twice, so I used Colin's name."
"Harry Potter! You stop entering underclassmen into the tournament!"
"Oh, all right. I only thought up one more way to try anyway." Suddenly, Hedwig flew to his shoulder.
"Hello, girl! What are you doing here?" Harry asked his feathered companion. She looked at him like he was stupid. He hated when she did that.
"Oh, yeah. I was about to call you. How did you know I needed you?" Hedwig looked away.
"Harry, she can't really understand you," Hermione told him.
"Oh yes she can. She's telling me that she's not going to tell me how she knew I wanted her." He quickly scribbled a note and handed it to Hedwig, who took it in one of her claws. "Drop this note in the burning goblet, please. And don't get hurt."
At the expression of concern for her, she rubbed her head against his cheek. Then she hit him with a wing, and took off.
"Sorry!" Harry called after her. "I didn't mean to imply you couldn't do it!"
The owl flew over the goblet, dropping the paper right into the opening. She circled the Entrance Hall once and flew off.
"Who did you enter this time?" Hermione asked, exasperated.
"Hedwig, champion of the Post Owl Academy!" Harry said happily, as he headed off.
Hermione rolled her eyes until Harry said, "If I think up any more ways to bypass the age line, I'll put in Crookshanks of the Cheshire School of Disappearing Felines."
"You leave Crookshanks out of this!"
- - -
Dumbledore was surprised when the fire turned red again. He caught the paper expelled from the Goblet and called out, "Harry Potter!"
Harry groaned as he got up. He trudged towards the side room where the other three champions were already waiting. As he entered the room, he didn't see the Goblet's fire turn red again, and another name get ejected.
Harry was surprised when the heads of the school came in, because Hedwig flew in with them.
"Hello, girl! What brings you here?"
Dumbledore was not smiling as he said, "Her name came out of the Goblet of Fire. Do you know anything about that, Harry?"
"Sure. I had her drop it in. I made up a school, so I didn't think there was any way that she could be chosen. It is the Triwizard tournament, right? Only three schools?"
"Did you also have her put your name in the Goblet?"
"Of course not! A fourth year in the tournament? I'd have to be crazy!"
"He's lying, Headmaster! Expel him!" Good old Snape. Harry could always count on him.
"I don't think so. So, Mr. Potter, do you have any idea how your name got into the Goblet?"
"Anyone over seventeen could have put my name in. That's how Draco got his name in the goblet. That doesn't explain how it came out, though. Tri/Three? Remember?"
Mad-Eye Moody chimed in, "If I were doing it, I would have put a Confundus on the Goblet to make it think there were more than three schools. Which would also explain why the bird's name popped out."
"Now I'm glad I didn't think of another way past the age line. Hermione would have killed me if Crookshanks' name popped out. But it's still the Triwizard tournament, right? I don't have to compete, right?" The look on Dumbledore's face answered the question, but Barty Crouch from the Department of International Cooperation put it into words.
"Oh, well, then we have to compete, Hedwig. May the best man or bird win," he said, stroking her feathers.
"The bird can't compete!" Ludo Bagman of the Department of Magical Sports and Games exclaimed.
"If I'm forced to compete, even though I didn't put my name in, then the same rules would work on her. I don't want her to face whatever the Goblet imposes on a competitor who doesn't compete!"
Harry was adamant and in the end they agreed that Hedwig would face the same challenges as the other champions, even though she was completely unsuited for them.
As Harry was leaving, he could be heard to tell his owl, "We'll show them, won't we Hedwig!"
- - -
Hedwig stuck her leg into the bag and pulled out a red dragon with a number 5 on it.
Bagman smiled and said, "And it looks like our fifth champion gets to fight the Hungarian Horntail. Good luck, all of you!"
- - -
Harry wiped his brow; he felt that he barely escaped the Chicken of Bristle with all his limbs intact. As it was, he had lost all the skin on the outside of his left leg. Man, that was one bloody mess!
As Pomfrey put on the disgusting smelling purple potion (since he didn't need to drink it, they must have decided to annoy the recipient with the odor instead), the cannon went off, signaling that Hedwig could now attempt to get the golden egg from the Horntail.
The white owl dodged a burst of flame, and hit the dragon on the snout with it's talons. She dropped and weaved away as the dragon snapped at her with its vicious jaws. Blood started dripping from the dragons face.
The pale raptor turned on a dime and was heading towards the dragon from its rear. But dragon necks are flexible enough that the dragon never took its eyes off the attacker, and Harry winced as the spiked tail swung at his friend! But Hedwig bounced off the tail and flew off a ways leaving a bleeding tail behind.
Again and again the owl flew at the dragon, avoiding the dragon's counter attacks, and leaving more and more cuts, scrapes, and bleeding gashes in the dragon's hide. Eventually, even dragons reach their breaking point, and as the bird attacked again, the dragon backed away. Hedwig didn't hesitate. She grabbed the golden egg and flew towards the judges.
A short time later, Harry was walking back to the castle with Hedwig on one shoulder and carrying two golden eggs.
"I agree, they took way too many points off for damaging the dragon. After all, you didn't do any permanent harm. And unlike Krum, you didn't cause it to stomp on its own eggs. You were robbed!"
Hedwig gave a frustrated bark.
- - -
Professor McGonagall frowned even more than her usual frown. "No, Mr. Potter, you cannot invite Hedwig to the ball. While there are no rules against contestants asking each other, there is just no way she can dance with you. I put my foot down on this!"
"Fine. Sorry, Hedwig, you have to get your own date."
- - -
As Harry and Parvati sat down at the Champions' Table, Hedwig flew in with a strange Snowy Owl. The Champions and their dates were dressed to the nines, but every eye was on the two Snowy Owls during the
Champion's Dance as they performed synchronized aerial acrobatics in time to the waltz music. Even Harry and Parvati paused to watch.
Later, when Parvati and Padma were off "powdering their noses" and Hedwig had momentarily disappeared,
Harry had a little talk with Hedwig's date.
"I just want you to know that if you hurt her, there isn't a forest thick enough or a tundra wide enough for you to hide. Do I make myself clear?"
"Bark," the owl answered, nervously.
"Good, we'll say no more about it. Ah, here are the girls. Whose turn is it for a dance?" Ron wasn't interested in dancing, so Harry felt it was his duty to make sure his date's sister had a good time, too.
"Mine!" Padma announced happily, as her sister stuck her tongue out at her. "Just be patient," she told Parvati.
While they were out on the dance floor, Padma told Harry, "While we were off, we had the strangest encounter with your owl. If I didn't know better, I think she threatened us."
"You must have misunderstood. Hedwig wouldn't hurt my friends."
"I think that was what she was trying to tell us, too."
- - -
Harry and Hedwig walked towards the lake for the second task.
"Yes, I told Cedric and you about the dragons, but that was because I knew that Karkaroff and Maxime would tell their champions, and it would only be fair that we all knew it was dragons."
"Yes, but I didn't know that you already knew. But I still think it was cheating for you to tell me that it was the merpeople language. How did you learn Mermish, anyway?"
Hedwig stared at him. He hated when she did that. He could never win a staring contest with her.
"Fine!" he said, looking away. "Keep your secrets. I still don't know how you're going to rescue your whatever. Ron and Hermione are missing, so I guess I have to rescue one of them."
"Hermione, of course. But none of your friends are missing?"
"Well I don't know what you're supposed to rescue, either. Here we are. Good luck."
The cannon boomed, and Hedwig launched herself off his shoulder. Harry took out the gillyweed that he had mail ordered (he half expected that Hedwig had kept some back to use herself). He was about to eat it when he noticed a large something appear out in the water.
Owls aren't humming birds, but she did seem to hover for a moment over what Harry could now see was the giant squid. With some quick wing action she took to the air again and started flying circles over the lake.
Harry ate the gillyweed and dove into the water.
Harry was forced to rescue Ron, but did rescue the little girl, too. (Harry knew she was too young now, but she was part Veela and she would grow, so he considered it an investment in the future.) He watched Victor rescue Hermione, and Cedric rescue Cho, but saw no indication of Hedwig's 'kidnappee.' He made his way back to the judges.
He got points for rescuing two people and being all noble and stuff (and the little Veela and her sister were grateful, so that part of the plan seemed to be working, too), but Hedwig got a perfect score. He looked at her as he dried up and Pomfrey checked him out. She just stood on a bench, eating a large, thick slab of bacon. She hadn't finished before they headed back, and Harry ignored the chunk of meat on his shoulder as they walked.
"Alright, I saw the eagles dropping fish to the giant squid. How much fish did you have to offer?"
"That much! Good thing the eagles owed you. But what I still don't know, is who was your hostage? You said what's-his-name was a fun one-night stand, but not a long term thing, so I don't think it was him...."
She was staring at him as if he was stupid again.
Harry thought for a moment. "Oh, the bacon. Right. Well, one more contest and we're done."
- - -
Harry, with Hedwig on his shoulder, stood outside the maze with the other contestants and judges.
"Due to the nature of one of the champions, there is an invisible roof over the maze," Dumbledore was explaining. "The only way to the cup is through the maze. You will enter the maze in order of score. Mr. Diggory . . . ."
Suddenly, Hedwig took to the air.
"Hedwig! It's not your turn yet!" Harry yelled. The owl didn't head towards the entrance but right at this years Defense professor. She grabbed Moody's ever present flask from his hands while he was raising it to his mouth.
"Damn bird!" the auror yelled, bringing up his wand.
"Expelliarmus!" Harry shouted, hitting the one legged man while he was aiming at Hedwig.
"Potter! Put away your wand!" Percy, filling in for Crouch again, yelled.
"He was targeting Hedwig!"
The old auror was slowly getting to his feet when he started convulsing. He tried harder to get up, but fell down and pulled his wooden leg off while yelling.
"I'll see you are arrested for this, Potter!" Percy yelled, running over to Moody, whose hair was darkening at the same time a new leg was appearing. At that, Percy stepped back. Less than a minute later, a stranger that Harry had never seen before started getting up from where Harry had knocked Moody down. He tried to run, but didn't get more than a few steps before Dumbledore had him tied up.
"Barty Crouch, Jr!" Bagman exclaimed.
"Ze competition!" Madam Maxime yelled.
"Right!" Dumbledore said. "Diggory, Go! Hedwig, go! From here on out, a half minute between contestants. Ready Mr. Krum?"
Hedwig, after dropping the flask to Harry, sped into the maze. Flying over most hazards, out maneuvering others, and ignoring the rest, Hedwig reached the cup. An acromantula was in the same area, but it had no chance to do anything before Hedwig had the cup and disappeared.
Hedwig hated portkeys. Although she had never traveled with Harry using one, every Post Owl Academy graduate had to pass the Portkey class (how else could you have inter-continental mail?). The spinning stopped, and she was still flying, holding the cup. Ahead was a short, stout wizard carrying a baby-thing.
The baby-thing yelled, "That bird ruined everything! Kill it!"
Kill her, would they? As the adult wizard was bringing up his wand, Hedwig flew straight at him. He panicked, seeing the raptor flying at his face at high speed, and threw his hand (with the wand) in front of his face. Right before hitting him, Hedwig flew up, but launched the trophy cup at him and grabbed the wand.
She found herself once more experiencing the annoying spinning sensation as they portkeyed again.
When it stopped, she completed the down stroke of her wings, and pulled the wand from the wizards' hand.
- - -
Meanwhile, the hedge walls of the maze were shrinking, as they were supposed to when someone grabbed the cup. Hedwig carefully checked and found that the invisible roof was also gone. She swooped into the air, spotted Harry, and dove at him.
Harry caught a glimpse of Hedwig diving at him and automatically raised an arm for her to land on. He was amicably talking to the sphinx. There was a gong that signaled the end of the contest, and as it went off right as Harry met the half woman, half lion, all naked creature, he took advantage of the situation. He didn't know any riddles so he was telling her knock-knock jokes.
"Hello Hedwig, hang on. Dwane the tub, I'm dwounding."
"You're sure you don't know any riddles? How about tongue twisters? Any _good_ jokes?"
"Sorry. What's that you have there, Hedwig? A wand? Hey! It feels as good as my other wand. Thanks, girl! It took Ollivander hundreds of tries to find me a compatible wand, and the first one you bring me works perfectly. You really are the smartest owl!
"Well, the bushes are just about gone, so I think it's time for us to go. It was nice meeting you. . . ."
Harry was going to complement her riddle, but a girl screamed. Harry turned towards the sound, and saw an acromantula attacking someone. He raced towards it, casting a stunner. It didn't effect the giant spider, so he tried levitating it. The monster rose into the air, and whatever it was holding fell from its claws as the creature tried to get its footing on something, anything. Harry ran up and found that it wasn't a girl who screamed. It was Peter Pettigrew, partially wrapped in (very expensive) spider silk.
"Well, well, if it isn't Peter," Harry said, second wand trained on the older wizard.
"Harry! You wouldn't hurt an old friend. . . ."
"Nope. Too bad for you that you're not an old friend."
"Potter!" Harry suddenly staggered under intense pain centered in his scar. He turned to see the tiny Dark Lord looking at him from a pile of rags.
Pettigrew chose this moment to change into a rat and scurry away. He didn't get more than a few rat body lengths before he was flying, held securely in the claws of a white owl. Very quickly, he was too high to consider changing back into a man. The fall, or rather the sudden stop at the end, would kill him. He dangled there, wondering where it had all gone wrong. Then the claw let go.
- - -
Meanwhile, on the ground, Harry was backing away from the mini-Dark Lord.
"You are wise to fear me, Potter! I offer you another chance to join me!"
"Fear?" Harry gasped out against the pain. "Maybe it is fear. I'm afraid the stains won't come out."
"What are you talking about? What stains?"
Harry released the spell and the ninety pound spider dropped from fifteen feet to land on Voldemort. The results were not pretty.
Dumbledore had just come up and was closer to point of impact than Harry. Those particular mauve and green robes were never seen again, so maybe the stains didn't come out.
"Well, Professor, it looks like Hedwig won the Triwizard Tournament."
"Yes, very impressive," Dumbledore said, somewhat distractedly, while rubbing his robes with a cloth. Harry just shook his head.
'You don't rub stains,' Harry thought, as he walked towards the exit from the Quidditch Pitch where the maze had been. 'Wizards, no common sense at all!'
He was soon joined by Hedwig, still carrying Pettigrew the Rat. She had dropped and caught him a few times, and he seemed interested in staying still. Harry conjured a rope around his neck; unless he was a double Animagus who also turned into a flobber worm, he wasn't escaping this time.
"Mr. Potter! Congratulations!" the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, exclaimed.
"I didn't win," Harry said. "Hedwig did."
"But I can't give an award to a bird!"
"Hey! It was the wizarding worlds' stupid rules that made her compete. You'll just have to face the consequences of your actions."
That got the green clad man mad. "I am the Minister! I do not face consequences!"
Harry couldn't argue with that, so he decided not to tell the minister that he had Pettigrew. He bid the politician good night, and found a tall, black, bald auror to whom he could give the rat. The man, Shacklebolt, agreed to take care of it, and work towards Sirius' freedom if the rat did turn out to be Pettigrew.
Harry moved on into the waiting crowd until he found who he was looking for.
"But I didn't win."
"No, but your best friend did, so it's alright. Isn't it girl?" Padma gently stroked Hedwig, as she took one of Harry's arms. Parvati ran her hand down Hedwig's back as she took Harry's other arm. They started walking back towards the castle when Hermione ran up.
"Harry! What happened?"
"Somebody owes Hedwig a thousand galleons. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have some partying to do."
"But. . . they're in different houses. You can't go with both to a common room."
Harry just half shrugged (he didn't want to upset Hedwig; she'd had a busy day). They walked off.
"So, no common rooms. Any uncommon rooms?" He asked.
"Sounds good to me."
"Harry?" Padma, always the forward planning one, wanted to know, "What is Hedwig going to do with a thousand galleons?"
"Owls don't use wizarding money. So I'll have to get it converted to something they do use."
Parvati asked the obvious question, "What kind of money do owls use?"
"Then what are you going to convert it to?"
Hedwig looked at her like she was stupid. Parvati was coming to hate that expression on the owl's face almost as much as Harry did. Neither she nor her sister were as good as Harry at figuring out what the owl was thinking when she did that, though. He came through this time and saved his girlfriends' sense of worth from being destroyed by the owl's stare.