|To Begin Again
Author: piper maru duchovny PM
A walk in the rain can change everything.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Angst - Mark G. & Susan L. - Words: 957 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 02-26-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5779275
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: For this story's sake. Elizabeth and Benton are still together. :) I trashed my knee again and apparently pain makes me a better writer. At least according to Rachel.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I hope you like dancing in the rain,
I'll spin you around and pull you back to me,
I sure am glad you wore that dress,
It reminds me of the night that we first met,
Don't you love the evenings in July,
When I'm staring at you with my blue eyes,
We could be fine, we could be fine, fine, fine
-Sequoyah Prep School's 'About Rain'
A storm front had settled in over Chicago as the sun dipped below the horizon. The dreary gray filled every nook and cranny of the city and the air was still, filled with electricity. However, in County General Hospital, the air between doctors Susan Lewis and Mark Greene was so tense it put the storm outside to shame. Their eyes were filled with battling emotions; excitement to see one another, bitterness for the way they left things, anger for how things remained.
"Lets go for a walk." Mark finally broke the silence. His hand found her elbow and he guided her through triage, out to the ambulance bay. Thunder threatened in the distance, Susan crossed her arms over her chest and stared at her feet while they walked. Her cropped blond hair swayed in the September breeze as his hand slid from her elbow to the small of her back. They walked in silence, neither knowing what to say or how to avoid a fight.
Susan closed her eyes and breathed in the cool air. Lightening struck lake Michigan in the distance and she could almost feel the fury of the bolt coursing though her veins. Her voice soft and hardly distinguishable from the wind, she whispered, "Mark..."
"You left me." The rain was beginning, large drops landing like tears of angels on the sidewalk. Her eyes fluttered shut again as she tried to keep her composure. To him, it was all black and white, he had offered her his heart and she had shut him out. He had offered her love and she had still gotten on the train for Arizona. In Mark Greene's book, she might as well have slapped in his face, cut him open, and dumped salt in the open wound.
"I was doing what I had to do, Mark!" Even as the words escaped the boundaries of her lips, they felt lame. They were a poor excuse for the fear she had felt when he ripped away the last wall, their friendship, and made the feelings between them real. Arizona had been a chance not to screw up the best thing her life, but all it did was come back to bite her.
"You're my best friend, I don't know what I'm going do without you."
Her words rang true as his eyes bore into her. They stood on the abandoned sidewalk toe-to-toe as the the rain pelted down, drenching them. She had lost her best friend because she didn't know how to be without him. The phone calls had been awkward, the letters felt forced, and she knew that it was all her fault. Through the rain, she still saw the tears in his eyes, "You still left me."
"Mark," Her voice broke, nearly disappearing with the clap of thunder, "I was doing what I had to. For Susie's sake."
"Then don't go!"
"Susan," His voice reminiscent of that day at Union Station, "you didn't just leave Chicago, you mentally checked out of … whatever this is."
"Susan, I don't want to lose you!"
Tears fell freely as she shoved the soaked blond hair from her face. Anger and pride blended together as the tirade began, "I was scared, Mark! Besides Susie, you are the most important person in my life. When you came after me, Mark, you changed everything! The boundaries that had defined our relationship were gone. I was feeling the things I had forced down for years because you were married! That day changed everything and I ran. I was so scared that I would screw us up and that I would lose the best friend I've ever had. I couldn't live with that!"
"I love you."
Mark stepped forward, his thumb tracing over the apple of her cheek as if to wipe the tears that couldn't be distinguished from the rain. The thunder rumbled low and long, lightening pepper the skyline as they stood there. He searched for the right words to say, "You can't lose me. Whatever we are, it's forever."
"I do love you!"
Her knees trembled and her hand rested atop his, "Nothing lasts forever."
"How do you know?" His forehead rested on top of hers, "We could be that one thing. The one that never ends."
"What if we aren't?"
He took her free hand in his and brought it to his chest, "Trust me, Susan, just like you used to. I've never let you fall before, you've got to trust me now. I'll catch you."
"I do love you." She whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.
And there on the abandoned Chicago side street, rain soaking them to the bone, the storm raging all around them, his lips found hers. In that moment, the anger, bitterness, and hurt all faded away. They were Mark and Susan, resident and attending, best friends, soulmates. So, Susan let herself believe it, as her body molded to his, she gave into the feelings and trusted him to catch her.