|Brown Study Extras
Author: littlesecret84 PM
What is Edward thinking? What's up with Jane? Why did littlesecret84 refuse to send me their texts? All the answers to these annoying questions can be found here.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,167 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 08-31-10 - Published: 02-28-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5782965
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Okay. So these are all of the EPOVs I sent out in review replies, as well as one I wrote in December and posted under Santa's Little Ficsters, and a little addendum to the Haiti piece I did back in January ("Chinese Food in Forks" and "Edward texts Bella for the First Time"). I hope you enjoy them. Thanks so much for reading.
I don't own Twilight.
Chinese food in Forks
Chinese food in Forks sucks, much like everything else in this Podunk town.
I'm supposed to be eating chicken, but it tastes like cardboard. I'm tempted to reach out and grab the steamed vegetables the brunette is eating, but she looks like she's enjoying them. Fucking girls. They know that shit sucks, but they'll eat it anyway.
What was her name? Bella? I'm fairly certain that this is the same girl who asked me for a pen or something this morning. I didn't really get a good look at her face- just her ass as she walked out of the classroom. Guess I can only be sure it's the same girl if she gets up and walks around. Preferably with her back turned to me so I can get a look at her ass.
I haven't seen too many fine asses or cute faces here. I think I hit the jackpot when Jasper asked me to come over for dinner. His sister is hot. His sister's friend is hot. The girl we ran into at the Chinese takeout place was hot. None of them are as hot as the girl from my music class, but she's not my type. No sense of humor. No tits. Long legs, though. Really long legs.
If this is the same girl from this morning—I should start sleeping more than three hours a night and stop smoking before class—she has long legs too. In fact, I really enjoyed the brief glimpse I got of her legs when I walked in with the food. Legs and whatever the fuck she's wearing under the skirt. Purple. Nice.
Come to think of it, I really shouldn't be complaining about anything. The food is disgusting, and right now I'd do anything for some pork buns from Chinatown, but I'm surrounded by hot girls, one of whom is pretty funny, if not a little scary.
Wait, is Jasper talking to me?
"… They got their bellybuttons pierced over the summer. I haven't seen Swan's yet."
Swan. That's right. Bella Swan.
I laugh at myself for thinking that this Jasper character was gay. It's just that I kind of got that vibe from him when he came up and started talking to me during practice. I've dealt with that before. It took months to get Jake to understand that a) I'm into chicks, b) if I wanted to have a guy blow me, it certainly wouldn't be him. The motherfucker had braces. Anyway, Jasper is into girls. He talked about his sister's best friend's tits for half the car ride over to his place. I'm guessing he was talking about Bella Swan's tits. I can't tell if they're anything special under that t-shirt, but I'll take his word for it.
Am I staring at her chest? Shit. Her friend noticed.
"Now who's being a perv? Look, you're making Edward uncomfortable," Bella says. "See how he's avoiding the whole conversation?"
"Stop playing hard to get, Bella. Your ass is hanging out of your skirt and all of a sudden you're modest?" Heh, good point.
"I'm not playing hard to get with anyone, unless you're trying to get me, in which case you should know that I'm definitely not interested. Stare at Jane's, I think hers is cuter anyway," she says.
I'm sure you do. Jane is all kinds of adorable. It would probably be inappropriate to ask them both to show me their piercings.
"I'm not looking at Jane's," Jasper replies. "I've seen it, and she's my sister. Let's put this to a vote. Everyone at this table—Jane, this means you stay out of this—gets to vote. I vote you take off your shirt. Edward?"
Say what? I'm not participating in this nonsense. She wants to take off her top, let her take off her top. My mom raised me better than to vote on whether or not someone should expose herself like that.
"Ooooh, BURN, Swan. He doesn't want you to take your shirt off. He just said 'pass'!"
What a fucking douchebag. Way to make the girl feel bad, asshole. You pretty much suck for putting me in this position, because of course I want her to take her top off, and now she thinks that's something I don't want.
"Whatever, his loss," she says, shrugging her shoulder. She doesn't appear to be too sensitive. That's a good thing in a girl. Chelsea would have been in tears by now. I turn my attention to Jasper, who is talking about the party again, but notice his sister staring at me. Bella is standing next to her, her back turned, confirming that she's the girl from my English class. Jane tells her something, looking at me the entire time. I want to know what she said. But Bella Swan just takes her stuff and walks towards the door.
Jasper gets up and tries to stop her.
"Wait, Bella, don't leave. I've gotta drop Edward off, too. I'll take both of you guys later."
I put down my fork and tell Jasper that I should be heading home myself. Instead of agreeing to driving us home, he brings up the piercing again. He tells me to close my eyes if I don't want to see. Of course I want to see. Bella has her back to me, and I watch the way her hand reaches back and scratches her thigh, right under her skirt. I feel a little uncomfortable for a second, like it's just a little warmer in here than it was thirty seconds ago.
Shit, did I just say that? Like I'm doing her a favor by looking? Can she tell that this is a favor for me?
She walks over and her hand is on my shoulder. You know that first time you hold someone's hand? Kiss them? The energy that rushes to the part of you that is being touched? The warmth? The electricity? When she touches me I feel all of that and almost expect her to look at me like they do in the movies. I expect her to say something like "do you feel that too?" But none of that happens. She just lifts up her t-shirt and my eyes go to a small mole to the side of her belly button. Oh, to be that mole and sit there on this girl all day. Or maybe just lick it. Around it. How fucking soft does her skin look? This girl has pretty fingers. Fingers. Her fucking fingers are beautiful. She flicks the small green stone hanging from her piercing. I can't stop staring. The incredible urge to just grab her and lick every exposed inch of her stomach drives me crazy. Before I know it, the t-shirt drops down like a curtain of evil. It's like I'm being denied a whole new world, and it sucks. So this is what it's like to have your mind blown by a girl. Not cool, Bella Swan. I think it's pretty unfair that you're funny, and hot, and can make me think about licking you without trying at all.
"You can tell Jasper what you think, since he's never going to see it," she says.
What I think? I think you smell nice. I think you're really fucking funny, and fuck, your eyes are beautiful. I think your skirt couldn't be any shorter, but it's fucking perfect. I think I am so hard that if you look down you'll see just how hard I am and slap me for being a pervert. I also think that maybe you'd like it, because you don't seem shy. I think I want to see more of you. I think I want to touch you. I think I want to talk to you. I think…
Shit, I have to talk now.
Before I can hide my erection and come up with something cooler to say, they're gone, and Jasper is laughing and making fun of me. I tell him to shut the fuck up, and change the subject. He talks about some girl he used to date, comparing her to Bella the entire time. Then he tells me I can probably get with Bella, since she's single now. Huh.
We get up to leave when his sister returns with the car. She's a sweet kid, but I don't know how to talk to her because she seems really shy and awkward. Jasper jokes about Jane tucking Bella in and her face is on fire. I wonder what they did do… That would be pretty hot.
Rosalie is as annoying as ever when I get home, asking me where I went and what I did and why I didn't take her with me. I watch Project Runway reruns with her for a few hours, and later, before I fall asleep, I come all over my stomach, thinking about how hot it would be to come all over another stomach. And a mole. And a green stone.
She'd like that.
"Who's the guy in the leather jacket?" I ask Kate.
"Oh, that's Riley. He goes to FHS," she explains.
So what's he doing here? I want to ask, but it's none of my business. I just nod and try to pay attention to the story Kate is telling me, but it's hard to focus on anything but the girl who showed me her belly button a few days ago. The soft, sexy, pretty girl who has been ignoring me all week. The girl I can't seem to approach. Or talk to.
I'm glad Kate is here because she's been a good distraction so far, flirting with me and touching me every chance she gets. I came to this party with the sole intention of getting Bella Swan to talk to me, or acknowledge me, and the minute I walked in I found her making out with her best friend. Does this happen often? Are they just friends? Jane's face after that kiss told me they weren't just playing around. So imagine my surprise when Bella walked into the kitchen with some guy, smiling and flirting and letting him touch her in ways I've been fantasizing about since Monday night.
I stop staring at her face, her flushed cheeks and satisfied smile. Eyes closed, teeth biting her bottom lip, clearly enjoying whatever that douchey motherfucker is doing to her. Instead I focus on Kate and her hand on my arm. Before I know it I'm kissing her, and it's not bad, because her lips are full and her tongue is soft. Who gives a shit about some girl I don't even know slutting it up with half the population of Forks?
Fuck Bella Swan.
Instead of ignoring her, however, I look over to them and the sight of her leaning back, practically panting in his arms, her leg hitched over his thigh, excites me to the point where the girl in my arms notices. And I'm too hard to care about who made me feel like this, so I close my eyes and continue to kiss Kate, hoping that when I open them, Bella and her friend will be gone.
Edward texts Bella for the first time
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I just told Kate I'm too busy to hang out with her in her empty house tonight, because I'd rather sit around and stare at a number on my phone. When did I start rejecting hot girls? Especially hot girls who give me hand jobs in their bedrooms during parties.
I close my eyes and try to picture the girl I want to call. Soft, sexy, pretty girl. She's probably busy. Maybe she's out with someone, like that douche in the leather jacket. Or maybe she's showing off her body to strangers who then spend the entire week fantasizing about her, thinking about her, watching her. It's pretty pathetic. I can't even stop thinking about the noises she was making Friday night while she was kissing that guy. It's pretty sick.
I know that if I don't do something tonight, we'll go back to ignoring each other tomorrow morning. Today was a fluke. I didn't realize what I was doing until my thumb was covered in yogurt. And the next thing I know... Fuck, I've got to stop thinking about her mouth. Sitting next to her in class drives me crazy. Her profile as she stares off into space... Ms. Denali was right—it's distracting.
I smile to myself, because I know exactly what I'm going to do. My heart pounding and my hands almost shaking, I start to type out a text.
I'm feeling bored right now, entertain me again?
I hit send, and throw my phone onto the couch. If she doesn't know who sent her the text, then I'm just wasting my time. She's probably not worth it.
Waiting for a girl to text you back sucks. Waiting for a girl to text you back when you're sitting in the living room with your annoying cousin, who decides to sit across from you and smirk, sucks harder.
"What?" I ask, trying to keep my eyes off the couch where my phone is sitting.
"Nothing. Why are you so nervous?" She stands up and walks over to me, grabbing the remote from my lap. "You have a date tonight. Go take a shower or something."
Rose looks surprised as she sits back down on the couch. "Why'd you do that?"
I shrug. I'm not in the mood to explain why.
"Well," she says, "that doesn't explain why you're so nervous."
"I'm not nervous," I snap.
Rose laughs. "Sure. You're not nervous. Your leg is shaking and you keep staring at your phone, but you're not nervous. Tell me the truth, did Kate cancel?"
"No, it was me. I'm just not interested," I explain.
She nods, taking my phone in her hands and giving me an evil smile.
"Something tells me that if I go through your phone, I'll have exciting things to read."
"Rosalie, just fucking hand me my phone. There is nothing exciting for you to read. I guarantee that."
Laughing, she turns on the TV and tosses my phone to me. I look at the screen again. Nothing. It's been about seven minutes since I sent her the text. If she saw it and hasn't responded, she probably never will. If she's playing hard to get, I'm out, because I'm definitely not interested in games. What the fuck am I supposed to do tomorrow morning? Pretend I never sent the text?
"Fine, don't tell me," Rose says. "I'll just guess. It's definitely not someone from back home. Chelsea wouldn't make you this nervous. There are maybe four or five hot girls in the entire school. We know it's not Kate. I don't think it's her tall friend, because you're not into redheads. There's Jane. Bella…"
"Bella. Oh, of course! Did you cancel your date with Kate because you made plans with Bella?" I look up at her and she winks. "Not bad, Edward. I like her, and we both know how she stares at you. Smart choice."
"What are you talking about?"
"What do you mean? Bella totally wants you. It was depressing sitting next to her in class, watching her drool over the sight of your neck." Rose laughs.
I try to suppress a smile and fail.
"Awww! You're too cute! So, what are you guys doing tonight? And you should definitely take a shower."
Holding my phone up for her to see, I shake my head. "We're not doing anything tonight. I texted her but she hasn't texted me back. Whatever."
"Oh, but she gave you her number, so she's probably just busy," Rose decides. "Dinner. It's dinnertime. She's eating with her family."
"I guess," I mumble, not bothering to explain that it was actually Jane who gave me Bella's number.
Rose smiles and turns her attention back to the news. If Rose doesn't catch the headlines on CNN International every hour when she's home, she flips out. Same top stories over and over again, same people with strange accents and bad hair. We were all relieved when we found out the satellite company out here carries the channel. It was bad enough moving her away from the only home she's known, but depriving her of her favorite news channel? That would've been wrong. I immediately feel bad for my attitude towards her tonight, and ask if she wants anything from the kitchen.
"Yes, actually. Could you—oh shit, that's gotta be her!" she exclaims.
I guess I could pretend it's no big deal that someone just texted me. I could act like I wasn't waiting for Bella to respond. But if I wait too long and it ends up not being Bella, I'll probably kick the coffee table and break my mom's favorite vase. I wouldn't be fooling anyone by taking my time—Rose isn't stupid, she'll just tease me and act even more obnoxious.
So I open it.
I didn't realize this was a full-time job, Mr. Cullen.
"Edward, what did she write? You're red! Know what? I'm going upstairs now. Don't do anything disgusting on the new furniture."
Ignoring Rose, I stare at the screen for a few more minutes. Mr. Cullen, huh? This girl is unbelievable. She knows it was me, and she knows what I was referring to. I just need to come up with something to text back. "I really want to lick your stomach" is probably not appropriate. Neither is "Your mouth is perfect, I think about it all day long" – even if it is the truth.
I wait two minutes before typing my response.
But you're so good at it. I'd even ask you to do some overtime.
It takes her less than a minute to reply.
Should I be offended? What kind of entertainment are we talking about? ;)
The kind where I push you up against a locker and kiss you for the entire lunch hour. The kind where you make the sounds I've memorized directly into my ear. The kind where I come over after soccer practice and you sit on my lap and let me touch you until it's time for me to leave and make it home in time for dinner. The kind–
Wait… Why should she be offended? Fuck. Does she think I just called her a whore or something? That's definitely not what I meant.
I didn't mean to offend.
Edward, I was kidding.
Thank God. I take a deep breath and think about what to say next.
I'm looking forward to hanging out in PA.
Tell me you're looking forward to it, too, Bella. My chest feels funny when my phone vibrates again. I smile. It's really strange.
Yeah, me too… sushi is yum.
I laugh. I want to tell her I think she's yum. Loser. She'd probably never talk to you again. A new text shows up on my screen before I get to chance to reply.
What's your favorite food?
Random, Bella Swan.
Steak. Rare. And pizza. Yours?
I love pizza. The pizza at school is decent.
It's not, and I tell her that when I write back.
Ok, I was lying. But tomorrow is pizza day.
I ask her why she lied and tell her I usually bring a sandwich.
Oh. I lied so you'd try the pizza tomorrow.
Why does she want me to try the pizza?
Because you never eat in the cafeteria.
Should I be eating in the cafeteria? This conversation has taken a strange turn.
Edward, I eat in the cafeteria.
Ah. I get it now, I think. She wants me to eat where she eats. She wants to hang out, right? Why can't she just come out and say it? She should just say it. Or maybe I should say it. Someone has to say something because I want to eat disgusting cafeteria pizza with her tomorrow.
Bella, will you share some of your pizza with me tomorrow?
Her response makes me laugh out loud.
Of course, you're a great person to have around while I eat.
Knowing full well that what I am about to send her is pretty inappropriate, I do it anyway.
My fingers are at your service, Miss Swan.
If I don't hear back from Bella, I'll know that I crossed a line. But this is the same girl who licked yogurt off my finger this morning. She's enjoying this just as much as I am. Still, I'm nervous as I wait for my phone to vibrate again. It's taking her longer than usual to get back to me, and I'm anxious. A car door slams, telling me my parents are back. Not in the mood to deal with their usual bullshit, I get up and quickly make my way up to my room, quietly closing the door behind me. I pace around for a few minutes, staring at the screen every ten seconds. Don't be mad at me Bella, please. I wasn't trying to offend you. You shouldn't take offence. I just want my fingers on you. In your mouth. In your hair. Fuck this. Now I'm hard, and she's gone, and my parents are downstairs. Maybe I should just take that shower now.
Tossing the phone onto my bed, I take off my t-shirt and shorts. I almost don't notice the blinking red light, but when I do, I'm calm again.
Hmmm… I've never had lovelier fingers at my service.
She likes my fingers.
They've never touched anything lovelier.
If this is too much, she'll ignore me. If she ignores me, I'll get over it. It's not like I actually know her.
Lovelier than what, Edward?
I'll say it, because it's not a lie, and because I want her, and I'll do whatever it takes to get her. I type one word, and there's really no turning back.
I just had sex with Bella Swan
Every time I think she's finally asleep, she moves. When she moves, I have to touch her. When I touch her, she moves closer to me, or touches me back. So I shouldn't actually want her to sleep. I should be glad she's up. I should be glad she doesn't mind the smoke. She doesn't think I'm too hairy, or that the hair covering my chest is too dark against my skin. She lies next to me, in nothing but the hair tie on her wrist and the ring on her middle finger, playing with the hair, tickling me, making me hard. I keep waiting for her to move her mouth down and maybe blow me, but she doesn't. Maybe she has an aversion to that. I need to stop complaining. I've been fucking her all night. She's so hot. Very cool. Really fun. I fucked up earlier, and she didn't leave. I opened up my mouth and fucked up again, but she stayed. Still, if she falls asleep I can relax, so Bella needs to fall asleep. I don't know what to say to her. Everything comes out stupid or wrong, and I can't just kiss her or fuck her each time I'm at a loss for words.
She's so warm now on top of me. How is it that she's still here? Maybe the stupid shit I say doesn't matter to her. She wants to fuck me and doesn't care about anything else. I should be okay with that, but the idea also makes me feel sick. Girls aren't supposed to be this complicated. I shouldn't be thinking this hard. Chelsea was so easy. Shit, I can't believe I told her about Chelsea right after we had sex. Probably a bad idea. I didn't even say the things I wanted to say right after. That Chelsea never made my brain come to a complete stop just by kissing me. Chelsea's laugh didn't give me that feeling in my stomach that Bella's does. Fucking Chelsea was just sex, even if Chelsea didn't know that, even though we'd been together forever. Fucking Bella... I can't even think about that right now. My feelings for Chelsea never scared me. Chelsea made me happy. She was hot, and she was my friend. Everything about Bella is scary. She's taking over my life. And I don't like it, but I don't want to stay away.
EPOV before he leaves in Chapter 14
"You need to tell her," she says in a loud, clear voice.
When my mom turns and asks me what Rose is talking about, my cousin gives me a big, smug smile. She got what she wanted.
"Nothing," I mutter.
"It's not 'nothing'—it's actually a pretty big deal. Aunt Esme, Edward—"
"Rose, mind your own—"
"Edward." My mom gives me that look that makes me want to run up to my room and lock myself inside.
"I haven't told Bella yet," I explain.
"See?" Rose hisses.
"We're leaving Forks Monday morning. It's Friday. What are you waiting for?" my mom asks.
"He's waiting for Monday morning, so he doesn't have to face her. She can be scary. You're afraid of your girlfriend." Rose laughs. She pours some milk over her cereal and sits back, waiting for the cereal to get soggy.
"Girlfriend? Is it that serious?"
Rose decides to answer for me. "It's serious, Aunt Esme. She's in love with him."
"She's not in… what?" I ask.
"You're not that dumb, are you? She's in love with you. It's going to break her heart."
Is she in love with me? No. What the fuck? We just met. Rose watches too many movies. And I spend too much time with Rose, because at least twice this week, I've stopped myself from saying shit like "I love you" when Bella looks at me and says stuff that makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up. But not throw up in a bad way. My stomach just feels funny. And then my mouth opens, and I stop myself from saying stupid shit just because she can make me feel good all the time.
All the time.
"Edward, regardless of whether or not you think Bella is in love with you, I think you need to tell her you are leaving sooner rather than later," my mom says.
"Look, I know what I'm doing. Do you realize how unfair this is, mom? You made us move here and now… I don't want to leave. And if I have to leave, I'm spending this weekend with her, and she's not gonna know. I know her, she'd want—"
"Oh come on! She'd want you to just leave without saying goodbye? You know what? I'm telling her!" Rose shouts. I reach out and grab her arm as she reaches for her phone.
"Don't," I warn her.
"Please tell her."
I look into my cousin's eyes and know she's right. I can't just wait until Monday to tell her. At first I thought Dad would change his mind, let me stay an extra too weeks, but that's not going to happen. I need to tell Bella I'm leaving. But I want to drive her to school today for the last time, and make her smile, and sigh, and tell me stories in the car. I want to kiss her for hours, and hold her hand in class, and fuck her as she whispers "baby" in my ear and comes. I'm obsessed with Bella. I want to take her with me. I want to stay and tell my family to fuck off. I want every day to be a weekday because that means I get to see her first thing in the morning, and remain under the same roof as her until the afternoon.
I just want her all the time.
On the phone with Chelsea (around Chapter 19)
"Hey, I didn't think you were gonna call tonight."
Neither did I, but she doesn't need to know that.
"I didn't want to wake you. I got back pretty late," I tell her.
"You were out?"
"Yeah, we drove out to Forks, I've been stuck in a car all day with Rose and Royce."
"Did you have fun, at least?" she asks.
Her voice, which sounded sleepy when she first answered the phone, sounds more awake now. I usually hate how she's asleep before midnight, leaving me on my own until I'm tired enough to go to bed at around four, sometimes five in the morning. Tonight, however, I wish she'd just ignored my call and continued to sleep.
"So," she whispers, "I want to hear about Seattle, Edward. Do you love it?"
"Do you think you'd want to move there? I mean, your dad said it's
your best option."
I know I'm going to lose my temper if this conversation continues.
"Chelsea..." I know that saying her name will be enough.
"Okay, okay. I know you hate talking about this, but you applied and got in! Baby, it's such a great opportunity, and—"
"Yeah, it's great. Listen, it's late, you should sleep."
"Edward, I know you're worried, but I said it before, and I meant it—I'll go where you go. I can transfer there, or find a new job. You don't need to worry—"
"For fuck's sake, Chelsea, that's not even... I'll call you tomorrow."
"You know what? I'm trying to be supportive—"
"And I appreciate that, but I'm not going to med school next year," I tell her.
"We'll talk tomorrow. I have to go, I'm tired."
"Fine. You're in a funk again. I can't talk to you when you get like this..."
But she does. She talks about Dr. Silverman and how I should see him again. She talks about brunch with my parents today, and how worried they are about me, and how she was able to calm them down. She talks about her own needs, and how much she loves me. She reminds me of the two years we've been together since we ran into each other at a party on the Lower East Side. She talks about moving to Seattle, or Boston, or even St. Louis if it would make me happy. I take out her picture and stare at it while she talks, smiling back at her big smile, running a finger over her long blonde hair. Chelsea makes me happy. After years of shit, she came into my life and made things better. I love her. I love her enough to consider going to med school, doing other things I'd rather not do. I love her so much that every day this past week, I stopped myself from calling another girl, even as a friend. But today, I held Bella's hand, and I listened to her voice, and I watched her for hours... And it sickens me that that's all it took for me to wonder what it would be like if Chelsea didn't exist, and if I didn't have to get on a plane to return to her in just under a week.
How Edward got his scar
She's trying to comfort me. She feels like this is her fault. It's not her fault, even though it's true that I wouldn't have been in the cab if she hadn't asked me to meet her at her office in the middle of the night. She was just tired and lonely, and wanted to see her boyfriend. It's not her fault that I was too busy talking to another girl to remember to leave the apartment. It's not her fault that I kept telling the cabbie to hurry, and that I was leaning forward, laughing at a text I had just received from the girl who had made me late in the first place. It's not her fault that a homeless guy decided to run across the street, forcing us to make an abrupt stop. None of this is Chelsea's fault. And yet I'm being a dick to her, because her hand isn't the hand I want to feel on my shoulder right now. Her voice isn't the voice I want to hear. Her name isn't the name I want listed as my emergency contact. Her face isn't the face I want to see after having received four stitches on my chin.
She keeps saying things, like how she'll take care of me, take the day off to make sure I'm happy and feel okay. I don't want these things. Even a week or two ago, I would have taken Chelsea's sweet words and warm touches and never wanted to let them go. But with every day that passes, it's like I know that this isn't right. It's not right when I wake up next to her. It's not right when she calls me and I feel disappointment, even a little annoyance because she's who she is, and she's not her. It's not right that I felt relieved when she avoided sex twice in one week. It's not right that she's avoiding sex. She's not like that. I'm not like that. We've never been like that. It's like she knows. It's like she can read my mind. I hope she can't, because I never want to break Chelsea's heart. And right now, there's only one thing on my mind... A girl with soft brown hair and a mouth I want to kiss until neither of us can kiss anymore.
I ask her for my phone, telling her I have to text my parents. There's no way she doesn't notice how red I am as I tell my first outright lie. I text Bella, and when she replies, I smile despite the pain.
Edward's first morning in Seattle
"I get that, Edward, but you need a place to stay, right? I get back at around six tonight. Bring your things and we can have dinner. You'll stay in the office like last time."
I've never wanted to hang up on my cousin as much as I do now. I don't want to hear about moving in with her. I didn't come to Seattle to stay with Rose. I'm exactly where I want to be.
"You can't stay there! What? You're just going to move in with her?"
Maybe? "No, but..."
"Listen, I have class in five minutes, I have to go. Do you want to grab lunch? Talk?"
"Yeah, let's do that," I agree, relieved that this conversation is over for now
"I'll text you. I'm going to let everyone know you're okay, and that you're here in Seattle."
"Sure..." But she's already gone. I think maybe I should call Chelsea and let her know I'm here, but I don't want to answer the questions that would follow. "Seattle? Why Seattle? I told you I'd move there with you. What's in Seattle? When are you coming back?"
I had to break up with her. The last few days I spent with her made me sick. I was in love with Bella, I was telling Bella that every chance I got. It was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. And right now? I don't want to think about Chelsea and how she's dealing with this. I'm in Bella's bed, and Rose needs to back off. I'm not leaving Bella's apartment until Bella forces me out. Look at her. Do her legs ever end? Could her nipples be more perfect? And her mouth. She's even better than she was in high school. She's better than anything, everyone else. She makes me dizzy. Or maybe I just need to eat... I want her to wake up. I get to wake her up. I love today.
I'll be posting outtakes I wrote in Edward's and Jane's points of view for FGB next week. I'm also starting a new story this week, so if you want to check out more of my stuff, alert me, I guess. You guys have always been awesome. Let me know what you think about Edward. I realize that none of this is new material for a lot of you, but I promised to post these once BS was complete.
Thanks so much for reading.