This was my dare challenge....

Kyp Durron, Jagged Fel and Zekk are having lunch at Dex's Diner. It is specifically mentioned that the NJO did not happen. All three are good friends and none of them are seeing Jaina.

Three groups walk in. The first is Lusa, who reminds one of the men that their wife has a doctor's appointment that week. Wife is obviously not Jaina. Second to walk in is a NON-SITH Jacen Solo and his wife Tenel Ka, both happily married. They remind all three about their invites to Tenel Ka's and Jacen's 10-year wedding anniversary and one of the other guys-not the first-that they said they'd babysit their kids while off on their second honeymoon.

Third one to walk in is Raynar, who informs the last one that his investment paid off and he now has the wealth to buy planets.

The following lines must be used.

"Jacen, a Sith Lord? Pull the other one!"

"I'm still trying to figure out why Tionne thought releasing a death-metal album was a good thing..."

"So, which planet do you wanna buy?"

There can be no shock ending, either. No reveal it was a dream/they're in hell or anything like that. Played straight, but with laughs.

I might have taken a few liberties, but I think I stuck fairly close to the requirements.

Still Loving Jaina

"I've loved her my whole entire life," Kyp Durron moaned unhappily as he sipped his ale. "It's not fair."

Thirty-year-old Zekk gave a snort, looking nervously around Dex's Diner. "You're not the only one that spent a lifetime loving Jaina, Durron. I can't remember a time I didn't love her."

Jagged Fel was listening to the two men, and finally spoke up, "She was my soul-mate. We were destined to be together for eternity. Talk about not fair."

"No one could have predicted this type of outcome," Kyp muttered. "Not even those of us with the Force."

"Is that an insult?" Jagged snapped out. "I'm tired of hearing about how superior you Force-sensitives are to us mere mortals, if you want to know."

"Nope," Zekk stated. "I don't want to know."

"Your wife might want to know about the fact you still carry a torch for the untouchable Jaina Solo," Jagged returned evenly.

"Shut up," Zekk whispered harshly, glancing back at the door. "Here she comes now."

Lusa loped gracefully into Dex's Diner, smiling broadly. "There you are, dear. Did you forget about our doctor appointment this morning? The office called to remind you."

"I don't want to go," Zekk grumbled, sinking down into the grungy booth.

Lusa expression became exasperated. "It's important! How are we supposed to have any children if we don't find out what the problem is?"

Zekk turned a deep red. "The problem is obvious. We're not the same species."

"Now, that might not be the issue," Lusa chided. "The doctor mentioned you might need to wear special shorts to keep things cooler."

Jagged and Kyp burst into laughter, while Zekk groaned and buried his face in his hands. "My boys aren't too hot."

"You can say that again!" Jagged roared out, causing all the patrons to turn and stare at them.

Zekk was spared further embarrassment when Jacen Solo and his wife, Tenel Ka entered the diner. "Hey!" Jacen called over to the group. "It looks like old home week around here."

The couple headed over to the already crowded booth, and Tenel Ka addressed everyone, "Are you coming to our ten-year wedding anniversary?"

"Of course," Kyp replied. "Wouldn't miss it for the galaxy. In fact, Jagged here was just saying how much he'd like to baby-sit while you two go off on your second honeymoon." This comment earned Kyp a glare from Jagged, followed by a hard kick in his calf. "Ow."

Jacen shook his head, seeing Jagged's dismayed expression. "Not necessary. My mom and dad are looking forward to spending some alone time with their grandkids."

"Your kids are going to turn into whiskey drinking, swearing smugglers by the time you get back," Kyp warned the parents.

"They'd better not," Jacen replied. "I'll have to chop Dad up with my lightsaber if that happens."

"That would be Sithly behavior," Tenel Ka told her husband, wagging a finger in his face. "I won't put up with being married to a Sith Lord."

"Jacen, a Sith Lord?" Kyp laughed. "Pull the other one."

Jacen smiled. "What did we interrupt that was so funny?"

"Uh," Zekk said quickly. "We're still trying to figure out why Tionne thought releasing a death-metal album was a good thing..."

Tenel Ka shrugged. "I guess those folk albums of hers aren't selling too well."

"I suggested she try her hand at opera, but whoever listens to me?" Jagged complained. "Oh, look who's coming into the diner now! None other than Raynar Thul."

Jacen shuddered, and tugged on his wife's hand. "Well, it's been nice talking to you guys. We've got to go eat lunch."

"He's not the same bragging child he was twenty years ago, and that's a fact," Tenel Ka told Jacen.

The Alderaanian swaggered over to the growing group. "Hey, everyone! Guess what?"

"Don't know, don't care," Jacen muttered under his breath.

Raynar ignored his old rival. "You remember those stock tips Lando Calrissian offered to us? And none of you listened to his advice, did you?" He grinned, and continued without giving anyone a chance to respond. "Well, that advice was fantastic! So good, in fact, that I'm now rolling in credits, and I've even bought a few out-of-the way planets."

Jacen eyed his wife in disdain. "And you were saying…?"

Zekk stood up. "Come on, Lusa. I have a doctor's appointment. I don't want to be late." The two hurried away, leaving the rest staring at Raynar, and hoping he'd go away, too. There was no such luck.

"So, no congratulations?" Raynar prodded the remaining people.

"Congratulations," Jagged said dryly.

Whipping out some flimsies, Raynar held them up for inspection. "I was thinking about making an offer on Cloud City. What do you think?"

"That you have too much money and too few brains," Jacen said softly as Tenel Ka elbowed his ribs.

Raynar heard the snarky remark, and responded in kind, "Jealous, Solo? So which planet do you want to buy?"

"Mustafar," Jacen replied without missing a beat. "I've heard it's a great place for Jedi with big egos."

"Speaking of big egos, how's that sister of yours doing?" Raynar asked, watching for Jagged and Kyp's reaction.

"She's fine," Jacen said shortly.

"Being a queen must be hard work." Raynar grinned at Tenel Ka. "Just think, Jaina's not only your sister-in-law and step-mother," he gave a dramatic pause and looked back at Jacen, "your twin sister is also your step-mother-in-law. That must be weird."

"That's a fact," Tenel Ka said neutrally.

The Alderaanian continued on, just to annoy Jacen. "Your dad must've had a bantha when she married a guy nearly as old as he is, huh?"

"Listen," Jacen said hotly, "maybe my parents weren't too thrilled with Jaina's choice of husband, but she's a grown woman, and it was her decision. Prince Isolder was so upset when Queen Teneniel was killed in that speeder accident, that Tenel thought maybe he'd do himself in. So Jaina's decision might have even saved his life."

"How noble of her," Raynar said snidely. "Well, have a good day. I know I will." And with that, he left the diner.

"Yeah," Jacen said, frowning as he watched his nemesis leave. "We'd better go too."

Tenel Ka waved at Jagged and Kyp. "Have a nice lunch, you two."

"Sure," Jagged said. "Bye."

"What were we talking about before we were so rudely interrupted?" Kyp asked.

"The same thing we always talk about – Jaina."

"Oh, that's right." Kyp took a long swig of alcohol. "I loved her more than you did."

"No, I love her more."

Kyp waved at the server droid. "Bring us a few more ales. This is going to take a while."

THE END