Author: Notebooked14 PM
And whenever we pass in the hallway, there's sparks. I can feel them layering the air, and I'm sure he does too - Kaitlyn/Gabriel.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 03-11-10 - id: 5808532
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Are you ever afraid that we're going to fade away? Like shooting stars, so alive and bright and beautiful, rocketing across the world below, and then they're gone? Just like that, leaving no mark upon the world, nothing that was truly theirs, nothing to be remembered by?
I'm afraid. Maybe you're not, because you're strong. Strong enough for the both of us these days. I stare at you sometimes, amazed at your kindness, that genuine need to help people. There's so much light inside of you, and you just want to illuminate everybody with that golden glow. I've always thought of you as an angel.
You were everything I wanted. My eyes fell on you, and those devastating blue eyes, regarding me thoughtfully, and those finely-chiselled cheekbones and that slow, infectious smile that rendered me speechless. Since then, you were every waking moment that mattered. I had convinced myself I couldn't rest until safe with the knowledge that you would be mine.
And you made me happy. For a long time, I clung to that happiness, wrapped up in it, and wrapped up in you and the way you made me feel. So gentle and protective, you never let anything harm me. Every word you said mesmerized me, and I could listen to the dulcet sounds of your honest, husky voice forever. It was such an inconceivable thought, that I would end up with somebody like you, but here it was. I was living my own fairytale.
Our differences never seemed to matter as you never allowed them to reach us, and our safe little world we created for each other. Because we were different, and these contrasts always threatened to ruin everything, to shatter the foundation all this love had been built on. But I couldn't dwell on dark thoughts like that, not when I needed you, all of you. You were so comforting; reassuring me time and time again that we'd never be apart...
Now? I watch you sleep, and I desperately try to calm myself down, but the words are a lie. I can't help this feeling, it's been here for a while. A long time, maybe since the beginning. It's laid dormant, unwanted, for too long now. I can feel it rising inside, like a balloon drifting towards the ceiling. I can't grasp it in time in order to control it. Everything's just slipping away right in front of me.
How is it possible to love two people at once? The heart was designed to recognize it's other half in one other person in this strange, strange planet. I found you, and it clicked together like a perfect jig-saw puzzle. Complete at last. We were soulmates, right? That's what we believed, because it's what we hoped for with every emotion in our bodies. Maybe we had a horrible, unsettling thought that it wasn't true, and it was with that disturbing idea that drove us closer, holding on for life?
He's not like you. I can't find one similarity, I can't find any two people that are more unalike. You and your smile represent everything good that is left in this world; hope for the future, empathy for others, an unconditional sincerity. He was an opposing force, dark as midnight, onyx eyes glowering, narrowed in resentment towards everything that he couldn't understand. People like that scared me. When I first met him, I felt for your hand, and your body, to protect me from this terrifying shape, a mass of hatred, of bitter, broken-down hostility.
It's an impulse that I will never act on, I promise you. The secret, carefully-concealed glances across the dining-room table are the extent of it, for I would never want to damage what we have on a risk like him. He just screamed danger, it radiated out of him in waves which rippled right through me. I was fascinated, curious more than I should be. Dying to know what lurked underneath the surface. I was more than certain most of the act was a defence, a way of shunning the world and tuning us out. It was easier than way, it was easier than to try.
And whenever we pass in the hallway, there's sparks. I can feel it layering the air, and I'm sure he does too. Is there a person inside there, scared and vulnerable like the rest of us? I can't shake the feeling maybe he'll understand the swirling emotions that course through me, like he'd instantly know without heavy explanation the depths of what I feel. We're on the same page, I tell myself. I'm sure of it. It's undeniable, because we're the same. An underlying link that connects the two of us, in ways I would have never imagined. Undeniable.
Then I'm kissing you and it feels so right; my own form of bliss. It's comfortable and safe and all the things I've spent my life searching for. That feeling of security, that somebody loves me. I love the devoted stares and secret grins that exchange between us, the laughter and the person jokes, the long conversations, the opening up without hesitation. You listen to all I have to say, until I can't summon any more words, and you never judge me. Words only scratch the surface of emotions though. We're not the same.
Of course, I'll then see him in the corner of my eye, and I'll try not to look up beneath my lashes as I can feel him passing. Cut off and isolated, unreachable and uncaring. My concentrations lost, and I tune you out until I'm positive he's out of sight. My senses work overtime whenever he's nearby, my pulse quickens, and I'm more aware of myself than is natural. Then I'm kissing you again, and fall into this easy pattern that I can't help but love and tire of at the same time.
I love Rob, I swear I do. But it will always be Gabriel who is my shooting star.
I just really wanted to post this. It's a bit AU, but more or less close to the events in the book. I found the file on my laptop and decided Why Not? I hope you like it.