|Alpha Xi Omega
Author: Whitlock-Masen PM
Edward Cullen is a college sophomore enjoying the typical fraternity life with the added complication of being gay. When he finds himself obsessing over one of his frat brothers, he wonders just how possible his fantasies might be. Support Stacie, ExJ, AHRated: Fiction M - English - Friendship - Edward & Jasper - Words: 10,282 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 103 - Published: 03-14-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5814898
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: This fic was won by the second highest bidder in the Support Stacie Auction. They wished to remain anonymous, but SorceressCirce and naelany wanted to say "Thank You" anyway.
There was one special request, though, and that is that this fic be dedicated to OnTheTurningAway, along with this message:
"Thank you for all the wonderful things you do for me
and all the time you invest in making my writing better and fixing my
boo boos :-)"
The "boo boos" in this fic were fixed by the lovely kimberlycullen10, EchoesOfTwilight, and theladyingrey42.
As ever, we do not own Twilight. If we did, it would be way naughtier, and well...you can guess the rest. Enjoy!
The party was going in full swing - music was playing loudly, and the alcohol was flowing freely. There were people everywhere, either dancing, drinking, or talking - and in some cases making out or worse. I had already danced with several people tonight and was having fun.
I eyed Jasper as he danced with Benjamin - they were back to chest as they moved to the beat, both of them completely oblivious to anything but the music. I glanced around the room, grateful once again that the fraternity we were in was as...accepting...as they were. I knew that things could be much different, but as long as you behaved, they were cool. And by behaved, they meant a "don't hit on me, I won't hit you"-kind of thing.
Jasper, Benjamin, Eric, and I were the only gay guys in the fraternity - well, that we knew of, at least. The guys that attended our parties didn't usually add much to the pool, so to speak, and I wasn't one to go out and find a hook up. I never had been, but I definitely hadn't been ever since I had laid eyes on one Jasper Daniel Hale. The man was beauty personified with his sky-blue eyes, longish, blond waves, and muscled, lean body. It didn't hurt that he had a killer smile and a voice that could make you weak at the knees, either. Or the fact that he was out and proud, and exuded confidence in everything he put his mind to.
Nothing ever really phased him, and everything always came easily to him. At least, that's how it had always looked to me.
I sipped my beer as I continued to watch him dance for a while, ignoring everyone else around me as I thought back to when I had first pledged. I had been nervous about the other guys finding out I was gay, not sure how they would react - what I could expect. It was at my first frat party that I saw Jasper. He was standing in the hallway, pressed up against what turned out to be his boyfriend at the time, and he was kissing him without any shame or thought as to who was around him.
That was the moment I first felt something stir in me - and it wasn't just my dick twitching at the sight before me, though it certainly had done that, too.
And the longer I watched Jasper's body moving fluidly with Benjamin's, the more it was stirring now, too.
Funny thing about my...crush, I guess you could call it, on Jasper: by day, we hung out and were good friends. We joked and laughed and gave the rest of the guys - and each other - shit. We played video games and baseball and punched each other and even wrestled from time to time.
By night, we were hands off.
I danced with Benjamin and Eric both - so did he. We never danced with each other. Ever. There was this weird boundary, some sort of dividing line that separated us at parties like this. We rarely talked, never touched, certainly never danced with his hips pressed against my ass and his hands roaming seductively over my chest the way they were over Benjamin's right then.
It hadn't bothered me at first, not really. It was sort of a relief because Jasper affected me in ways neither of the other guys did, and at least I didn't have to hide my reaction from him. But lately I'd been growing antsy, unable to shake the edge of annoyance I felt when I watched Benjamin's hand reach up and tangle in Jasper's blond curls as he let his head fall back on Jasper's shoulder.
They looked good together. Benjamin was Egyptian, a first generation American, and his dark skin and eyes were a stark contrast to Jasper's fair complexion and honey blond hair. He was a couple of inches shorter than Jasper, stockier and broader, and Jasper's muscled arms actually had to stretch to wrap around him the way they were. I stared a little longer than I should, noticing how I could see his forearms flex even from across the room.
When I lifted my beer to my lips again, I muttered, "Fucking JD," under my breath.
I never called Jasper by his first name out loud. He was JD, my buddy, the same as he was to the rest of our frat brothers. But when I'd met him that first night, he'd introduced himself as Jasper, and he'd been Jasper in my head ever since.
It was almost as if he heard my muttered curse. I lowered the empty blue plastic cup only to find his blue eyes boring into mine from across the room. I swallowed and tried to keep my conflicted emotions out of my eyes as I waggled my eyebrows and looked at Benjamin suggestively. He smirked and pretended to lick his palm and slap Benny's ass, nodding his head as he mouthed, "Oh yeah..."
And then I tipped my empty cup at him and nodded toward the door, pushing away from the wall as I headed out for a refill. I passed through the kitchen, ignoring the beer bongs and actual bongs, and made my way out the side door onto the porch where the kegs were always kept.
As soon as I stepped out, the crisp night air was a relief, helping soothe the tension I hadn't even really felt until then.
"EA Sports! Where the fuck you been, man?"
At the sound of my ridiculous nickname, I felt the wide grin on my face as I turned to find the source of the voice. Emmett was sitting on the railing near the keg, his dangling feet stuffed into his typical white tennis shoes. He was wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt with his hat backwards, and I vaguely wondered if it was the same thing he'd been wearing the night of my first party. If it wasn't, it was close enough.
"McCarty! Good to see you, man." I reached out, and we did Emmett's version of a handshake, our hands slapping before grabbing each others' fingertips. We talked for a few minutes, mostly about the insane amount of studying I'd been doing. I'd hidden myself away over the last couple of weeks, needing time - and peace and quiet, which was rare in the main parts of our house - to cram in all the novels I had to read and the papers I had to write on them. Now that midterms were behind me, I was taking a little breather and getting out to have some fun. Tonight was my night to really let loose.
Too bad there were no prospects for the sort of fun I really wanted - hell, needed - to have.
Emmett told me he'd been busy, too, locked up in the studio while he worked on some final edits for a short film he was making. He was a Mass Media major and a couple of years older than me, so he was putting together his portfolio as part of his senior capstone seminar. I was an English major and had helped him out a lot over the past year, editing papers and straightening out his organization. We worked well together, but he said I was a "nitpicky bitch of a slavedriving whore" until he got rave reviews from his professor...and then he said I was still a nitpicky bitch of a slavedriving whore, but that I was also his lucky nerd monkey, and he never turned anything in again without getting me to look over it for him.
By the time the conversation moved to the hot new freshman Rosalie and all the things he wanted to do to her, I realized I really needed that next beer if I was going to make it through the rest of the night.
"Be right back..." I held up my cup by way of explanation and walked past him to step in line.
I heard the deep rumble of his voice behind me and then his laugh, and I knew he'd switched smoothly to another conversation. Emmett was probably the nicest guy I knew, though it was hidden beneath a lot of "fuck"s and relentless tormenting. The fucker had a heart of gold, and he'd do anything for anyone. He just liked to have his fun, too.
He was responsible for 90% of the nicknames in our fraternity. I'd been "Sports" since the moment he figured out my middle name was Anthony. Jasper was already "JD" before moving to college - I guess he didn't like his name - but for the most part, whatever Emmett called you...stuck. I had no idea why the hell Eric was "Nickles," and I wasn't sure I wanted to know.
The line seemed to drag interminably as I waited for my cup of cold horse piss. It tasted like shit, but I was feeling anxious and restless, which was never a good combination for me. A little alcohol - okay, a lot of alcohol - was in order.
My cup finally refilled, I took a long pull before I made my way back inside, lifting my drink to Emmett as I passed by him. He raised his hand, giving me a small wave as he turned back to Jake and listened to him with a stupid grin on his face, his eyes wide with amusement. Jake must've hit his punchline just as I stepped back into the house because raucous laughter boomed behind me, with Emmett sounding like a damn braying donkey.
As I started to pass through the kitchen again, a couple of our newest brothers waved me over. I stopped and did two shots with them, the coconut rum nearly making me gag, though I didn't let them see that. Both of them were already three sheets to the wind, and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet - they'd be passed out on the lawn by eleven.
Clearing my throat, I clapped one of them on the back and picked up my cup, draining the rest of my beer to try to drown out the taste of the rum. I could feel fire spreading through my chest, a subtle tingling in my toes, and a lazy smile settled on my face.
Not wanting to bother to go out and refill my beer, I tossed the cup into the trashcan and opened the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of La Fin du Monde from my own personal stash. It was a beer to be savored, not pounded, and I took my first sip as I walked back into the living room packed with bodies, my eyes automatically searching for Jasper.
He wasn't there.
I caught sight of Eric, though, his dark hair damp from the perspiration I could see around the edge of his face. His eyes were closed, his body moving to the beat, and I didn't even pause to think, just walking straight up to him with my beer in hand. As soon as he felt me dancing behind him, he opened his eyes and turned his face, grinning when he saw it was me. His eyes closed again, his arms lifting as his head swung back and forth. He was a damn good dancer, always giving himself completely to the music, and he was a lot of fun to party with.
Three songs in, my own eyes were closed, and Eric had moved behind me. His hands roamed my shoulders, his fingertips squeezing, and I could feel my body responding to the heat and the movement and his scent. He pressed himself close to me, letting me feel his arousal, and I cursed myself for the thousandth time that Eric just really didn't do anything for me.
I wished like hell he did...because it was no secret that he wanted me, and all it would have taken was one word from me to have him upstairs, naked and ready in my bed.
My beer was long since empty, and I needed an excuse to get away from Eric before I did something I'd regret. I wasn't one for one-night stands, and I definitely wasn't willing to fuck up a friendship for what wouldn't be anything more than one...at least not as far as I was concerned.
It was nothing new. A lot of times at these parties, I'd find myself cozied up a little too much with Eric and have to beat a hasty retreat - and then beat something else afterward because I invariably went upstairs to my room alone. I couldn't help the way dancing in close quarters affected me, but it was never Eric that was on my mind.
It was often Jasper - much more often than I was willing to admit.
When the song ended, I grinned at Eric and tipped my empty beer bottle to him. He nodded, a flash of longing and frustration in his eyes before he smiled genuinely, and his eyes closed again. He never got tired of dancing.
As soon as I turned away and began making my way off the impromptu dance floor, I caught sight of Jasper. He was standing in the doorway, leaning one shoulder against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest, and his eyes were smoldering.
And looking straight at me.
I felt a thrill shoot through me, a jolt going straight down my spine and ending in my cock. I'd occasionally caught the odd speculative glance from Jasper, but he'd never openly appraised me that way.
"Shit," I muttered as I bumped into a girl dancing all over the goddamn place and caught her by the upper arms to keep her from falling over. "Sorry." She turned around, an angry retort on her lips that faded as soon as she saw me. Her eyes widened, and her lips formed what was supposed to be a seductive smile. It just looked simpering to me.
Her hands were on my hips, her face just inches away from my chest. She licked her fake plastic lips and let her hands drift down, grazing me as they moved to my thighs.
What the fuck?
"Sorry, sweetheart. You're missing my favorite piece of equipment." The words were out of my mouth before I'd even really thought them. A smirk was on my lips, and apparently I just felt like being an antagonizing asshole because I walked off, leaving her gaping after me. I could feel her eyes on the back of my head, but my own eyes were already searching, looking where I'd last seen Jasper.
He wasn't there anymore.
I was probably imagining things anyway.
Muttering to myself, I squeezed through the tightly packed bodies, breathing a sigh of relief when I made it into the empty hallway. Well...mostly empty. At the far end, Tyler had some girl cornered and was pressed up against her. They were kissing frantically, both of them with their pants undone and their hands nowhere to be seen.
I shook my head, partially out of disgust and partially out of jealousy, and turned before I got to them, heading into the brothers-only bathroom downstairs. There was always a line at the other one. As soon as I was inside, I tossed my bottle into the trashcan before taking a piss. I took my time buttoning myself up and washing my hands. I splashed water on my face and tried to calm my nerves and my racing heartbeat. I usually found myself watching Jasper at parties like these, but it was...casual. Just a beautiful guy that I happened to like a lot who was fucking sexy when he danced.
No big deal.
Tonight, though, I couldn't seem to take my eyes - or my mind - off of him. "What the fuck's your problem, Cullen?" I muttered aloud to my reflection, leaning against the counter to look at myself in the mirror. My eyes were my favorite feature - green and wide - and they'd gotten me laid more than once. Well, that and my lips. It seemed most gay men who looked at my lips wanted to feel what they could do, and I definitely wasn't above using that to my advantage.
Now as I looked at my eyes, I saw that they were bright with excitement, nearly dancing themselves.
What the fuck is my problem tonight?
Maybe it had just been too long since I'd had any sort of action with something besides my right hand. My last encounter was too far away - and buried under too much alcohol - for me to remember clearly, and as I tried to think back, I became appalled.
And convinced that that shit really needed to change.
I couldn't keep pining over Jasper like a little girl - especially since I wasn't even willing to actually admit that I was pining over him. It was bullshit. Since he wasn't interested, I needed to forget about him and find someone who was.
Preferably someone who could help me remedy this situation right away.
I tried not to focus on the fact that prospects were few and far between tonight. Jasper's friend Peter was out there somewhere, but I just felt weird going after him. Eric, of course, was out. Same with Benjamin. I just couldn't see a one-night fling with a brother.
Except for one.
I couldn't help the little voice whispering to me about the one brother I wouldn't be able to turn down.
"Ugh," I grumbled at my reflection and pushed away from the counter, running my fingers through my messy hair. It felt damp on my fingertips, and I could taste the salt of my own sweat on my lips. As I turned around and left the bathroom, I decided to just go back out and have fun. I'd been too stressed lately to let a fucking party turn into just another thing to worry about.
Tyler and his skank of the night had vanished, presumably to his room. At least, it better have been to his room. He'd get his ass kicked if he went into someone else's. Again.
In the rest of the downstairs rooms, the party was still going strong. The bass was thumping out a fast beat, and the mass of bodies in the living room seemed to be moving almost as one. In the middle of the room, a little off to the right, Jasper and Eric were dancing, facing each other this time. Jasper was turned toward me, but from the way he was laughing at something Eric said, his eyes all bright and happy, I was the furthest thing from his mind.
I tangled my fingers in my hair, yanking in frustration as I tried to figure out why that mattered. Even though I wasn't usually one to go out and find someone to hook up with, it was becoming painfully obvious that I was going to have to do just that soon. Not getting any was affecting my brain.
I didn't even stop. I just continued straight into the kitchen, looking for something to help dull the way my mind was racing. There were too many implications to where my thoughts kept drifting tonight, and I needed a little bit of oblivion to get back into my happy party place.
"Sports!" I wasn't even sure which of our brothers called me, but I waved a hand in greeting, glancing around until I found what I was looking for.
And there it was, in the corner.
I walked over to Quil – so-called because the spiky black hair he'd had as a freshman had reminded Emmett of a porcupine – and he welcomed me with a lazy handshake and an even lazier grin.
"Sports, man, you in?" Embry asked, clapping Quil on the back when he coughed. Embry was a part of the offensive line with Emmett on the football team and had been dubbed "Silverback" because of his hulking shoulders and the way he paced back and forth on the sidelines.
I just nodded, sliding between them to lean against the counter. Quil threw his arm around my shoulder, tilting his head back to rest it against the cabinet behind him as he giggled stupidly. The Silverback passed me the bong, and a few hits later, I felt the slow, silly smile on my lips as I stared at the ceiling with Quil.
All my questions and frustrations faded away, replaced by mellowness and a feeling of weightlessness in my arms. I giggled as I imagined my arms floating up and away, and a dim corner of my mind was aware that this was the first time I'd ever smoked without Jasper. He'd rolled my first joint more than a year ago, and it wasn't like I lit up often – but it was always with him.
The thought had no malice behind it, just an errant thought that was chased away as soon as Quil passed the bong again. I was playing with my lips, licking and biting at them as I tried to figure out if I could feel them or not.
When I heard my own giggle again, I pushed away from the counter and blinked slowly, wiggling my fingers as I made loose fists and then let my hands fall open again. It was definitely time for me to stop – or just keep going and end up a complete mess that needed help finding my own bed.
I stood there, confused and trying to decide through the haze in my mind, and I could hear Embry and Quil laughing behind me. I still hadn't made a decision when Eric walked into the kitchen, and some part of my brain was instantly alert, realizing he'd left Jasper.
I didn't say anything else to the two who were still lighting up behind me. I just walked away. Before I could get out of the kitchen, though, Eric clapped me on the shoulder and guided me toward the island in the center of the room where a group was doing body shots.
"You owe me a shot," he murmured low in my ear. I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but I nodded, and he laughed.
Catcalls were in my ears when he pushed me against the counter. I rested my ass against it and stared at him as he opened the top of my shirt. A couple of our brothers were cheering us on, and I heard one girl whisper, "That's hot," when Eric licked a long line from my collarbone to my ear. He bit my neck, and my hands gripped his hips, my eyes closing automatically.
And I wished, again, that Eric himself did anything for me. Because, goddamn, I could have used a little release just then.
"Dude, Cullen's drunk as shit."
I started to protest, but I couldn't remember if I was or not, and then there was the slight sting of salt on my skin as a second voice said, "Fucking baked, too."
A wedge of lime was shoved between my teeth, and my tongue traced the rough, acidic edge as Eric's mouth returned to my throat, licking and sucking as he lapped up the salt. He pulled away and slammed back his shot, and then my head was pressed backward as he took the lime from my teeth.
My eyes opened, and I swayed slightly as I looked at him. He chuckled and shook his head before he leaned closer and said, "You're damn lucky I don't decide to take advantage of you tonight…"
I half-smiled and then furrowed my brow and shook my head.
He grinned at me and muttered, "Damn lucky," again before he put a shot glass in my hand and said, "Not that you need it."
He took my hand and sucked at the join of my thumb before sprinkling it with salt. He lifted it to my mouth, and I tasted the salt before draining the tequila. He smirked and put a lime wedge between my teeth, and I sucked on the juice, my face tight with the tartness and the burn of alcohol.
"You good?" Eric asked.
He studied me for a minute before he laughed and shook his head. I grinned in return and walked off, a small part of my brain still on a mission to look for Jasper. I didn't know what I was going to do when I found him.
He was there, in the middle of the living room, moving by himself to the music. People were pressed close all around him, but he didn't notice.
God, he's fucking beautiful.
Despite my less-than-coherent state, I felt my body responding, my pants beginning to tighten. Jasper licked his lip and then bit the bottom one, and I groaned at the sight.
I stood there indecisively for a moment, my mind clearing a bit as I struggled to understand what was happening. It was no use.
I wanted Jasper. And I stalked across the living room, going straight for him. I stepped up behind him, letting the beat move my body as I fell effortlessly in step with him. I saw his cheek lift as he smiled, his eyes still closed, and he backed up, his body lining up perfectly with mine.
I gave a little panting groan as my hands went to his hips, and his face turned toward mine as his eyes opened. Those gorgeous blue eyes widened when he saw who it was, but he didn't try to move away. He stared at me, our eyes locked as our bodies moved with fluid grace, our hips in sync. Our lips were only inches apart, our breath mingling with the fragrance of stale beer and lime and weed, but I didn't care because it was the first time he'd ever looked at me like that while he was this close, and I wanted to kiss him.
I licked my lips and saw Jasper's eyes flicker to them, but before I could act on it, there were hands on my hips, and Benjamin's voice said, "There you two are."
I saw Jasper's eyes narrow just slightly, though whether it was in response to my – obvious – desire to kiss him or in annoyance at the interruption, I couldn't be sure.
Jasper turned around then, facing the two of us, and I wanted to sigh. Finally fucking get up the nerve to do something, and Benny's oblivious…
The moment between us was broken, and Benjamin's arms wrapped around my waist as we danced. Jasper was facing me while he moved, but his eyes were on Benny over my shoulder. My eyes, however, followed the lines of Jasper's body. He had taken off his button down shirt and was left in only a thin t-shirt with his blue jeans hanging low on his hips. When he lifted his arms, several inches of his abdomen were revealed, and my hands tightened over Benny's to keep myself from reaching out and feeling the lean muscles I could see there.
I swallowed hard and willed my eyes upward rather than letting them drift down even further. I was met with Jasper's eyes boring into mine, a small smirk on his lips before he licked them and closed his eyes again.
He knew what he was doing to me. And he was doing it more.
I felt a stirring of hope and desire when I realized that he was encouraging me, moving in ways to catch my attention. He stayed close by, and the heat from his body bathed mine, the gentle brush of his fingertips along my arm igniting the kindling that started a wildfire raging through my body.
Benjamin's heat was so much closer pressed against me the way he was, but it was no match for the inferno Jasper sparked. We were all having a good time, and we talked over the music, laughing from time to time, but there was something else going on with me and Jasper. Something communicated entirely through too-long glances and calculated touches, through the licking of lips and the traveling of eyes.
A few songs later, I was hard and aching, my body completely beyond my control as it responded to Jasper. I could see the evidence of his own desire, but I had no idea if it was for me, or simply because we all became aroused when we danced that way. It was hard not to, with tightly packed bodies moving and writhing, muscled arms squeezing and stubble scratching.
His face was flushed, sweat beading along his brow, when another song started and he motioned toward the door. I nodded, and as Jasper walked away, Benjamin moved in front of me, pulling me closer as he put his hands on my hips. My knee was between his, our hips moving in time, and I closed my eyes, letting myself imagine he was Jasper.
His fingers slipped beneath my shirt, caressing the skin of my lower back, and I put my arms around his neck, my fingers tangling in his hair. I was probably crossing a line, but I was too wasted to care, and Benny seemed to be of the same mind.
Damn good thing he's not Eric…
I was aware enough to realize that this would have ended badly with Eric. I was letting myself go, opening up to possibilities, and Eric would have jumped at the chance. Benny and I just weren't interested in each other that way, so we could be a little too handsy, a little too intimate, and nothing would change between us tomorrow.
My lips were parted and I was breathing heavily, the ghost of Jasper's lips hovering near my ear and the calluses of his fingertips rough along my back. It was a shock when Benjamin's voice was the one that spoke.
"Hey, E-man…I'm going to get a drink. Want anything?"
I blinked, shaking my head to clear it as my mouth snapped closed. "I-I'm good…thanks, though."
He grinned at me and nodded before gliding across the floor, dancing between the other people as he slipped away. I could tell I'd already had far too much to drink. There was a sickly feeling in my stomach, a definite lack of inhibitions, and while I didn't really care, I was aware enough to not want to spend the rest of the night hugging a toilet. Barely.
So I stayed in the middle of the floor, my arms rising and my eyes closing, my hips swinging as I sang along and my head rocked back and forth. I was lost, absorbed in the beat, and when I felt a warm body dance up behind me, I didn't care anymore that it was probably Eric.
Only the arms that wrapped around me were thicker, and they held me closer, and the voice that murmured in my ear was soft and silk and sex.
"Did you fucking smoke without me?" Jasper asked lowly, his hands trailing up my chest.
I turned my head slightly, shifting my eyes to look at him, and he was staring at my lips. When I licked them, he swallowed and slowly raised his eyes back to mine. I let my head fall on his shoulder as his hands spread out flat, one on my chest and the other on my abdomen as he pulled me back against him. My lips brushed his ear when I said, for him alone, "You were busy."
I could have sworn I heard a low growl, and I know I felt the rumble in his chest through my back. His arms tightened possessively, and he murmured, "That's mine."
I wasn't sure what he meant, exactly, but for the first time ever, his hips were pressed against my ass, and his hands were on my chest, and his body was dancing smoothly with mine. I could feel his hard length pressing against me, and I moaned softly, biting my bottom lip as I left my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. It was so goddamn close to what I wanted, but not nearly close enough.
And in my drunken, half-baked state, I couldn't figure out how the hell to get what I wanted.
His fingertips rolled my nipple through my shirt, and I whispered, "Jesus Christ, Jasper…"
He bucked his hips against mine then, and there was no mistaking it. He was affected by me, too. He wanted me.
"What did you just call me?" His voice was low, dangerous, and I raised my head, turning to look at him.
"Jasper," I challenged.
His eyes narrowed at me, but they flickered to my lips again. I leaned toward him, my eyes closing automatically, but then he pulled me back against him again, and my eyes flew wide.
"Hey, Benny. Nickles." His voice was flat now, and I couldn't read his expression. He seemed almost angry, and I had no idea why – nor did I care. I was confused and painfully hard, and while he seemed to want my body, he'd just made it obvious that that was all he wanted – and not enough to let anyone know it, either.
I wasn't expecting the sting of rejection I felt as I pulled away from him. I made a show of dancing with the three of them for a little while, and then I made my escape, heading back into the kitchen once more.
The rooms were beginning to thin out, people either passing out in various places or disappearing into bedrooms. Quil and Silverback had vanished along with their bong, as had the body shots group. I didn't pay attention to who was in the kitchen.
"Fuck him," I muttered out loud as I pulled open the refrigerator door.
I reached for a bottle of water and heard Emmett tease, "Boy trouble?"
Turning around, I leaned against the counter and glowered at him as I opened my bottle of water. I tilted my head back, draining half of it before I wiped my mouth on my forearm and answered at last. "No fucking guys here worth the trouble."
His grin was infuriating as he said, "Bullshit."
I rolled my eyes at him, and he shrugged. "Be that way, man, but I can tell you've got your panties in a wad over somebody." He took a few steps away and peeked into the living room, and I wanted to slap those goddamn dimples off his face when he settled back in front of me and smirked. "And I know who it is, too."
"Fuck off, McCarty."
"You're a pissy drunk," he said simply.
I sighed, my fingers tugging at my hair in annoyance and frustration. Draining the rest of my bottle, I squeezed the air out, capped it, and shot it into the trashcan, vaguely amused at my accuracy, considering the amount of alcohol flowing through my bloodstream.
He shrugged, apparently sensing my contrary attitude. "Whatever, Sports. But let me ask you something, yeah?"
I exhaled noisily and nodded, letting my head drop as I stared at my shoes.
"How much do you want him?"
I frowned, rolling my eyes again – this time at my shoes – and shrugged. All was quiet in the kitchen for a minute, the only sounds those of someone yelling in the backyard and the thrumming of the bass in the living room.
"'Cause I can tell you…if I get a shot at that Rosalie? Shit…" I raised just my eyes, glancing over to see him with his hands out in front of him as if he were holding her hips. I couldn't help laughing when he started thrusting his hips and generally acting like a fucking idiot, pretending to smack her ass. "If she gives me the slightest hint that she's into me, you better believe I won't give her a second to change her mind."
And then I thought about it.
I must be drunk off my ass if Emmett is making sense…
But he was. I didn't even know what I wanted with Jasper – if it was anything beyond the physical or not. Shit, we hadn't tried anything together yet. So who knew how I would feel afterward? Who knew how he would feel?
With the way he had been touching me and how his rock hard cock had been straining his pants, I thought it was a safe bet that he wanted me, too. It had been awhile for me, and from the way Jasper talked, it had been for him as well. So why not help each other out?
"Well, what the fuck do you know, McCarty? I think you just said something that made sense."
"Shit, all my fucking shit makes sense. You just don't know how to goddamn listen."
I laughed, feeling some sort of weight lift from my shoulders as I straightened up and pushed away from the counter. "Yeah, you're the goddamn Dalai Lama alright."
"Recognize, fucker." He grinned at me and reached into the fridge, pulling out a beer. "Now go get your boy trouble." He waggled his eyebrows at me, and I shook my head, but I brushed past him, heading toward the living room.
"Get some for me!" he called out, and I laughed, stumbling when the toe of my shoe caught on the edge of a rug.
I caught myself and kept going, navigating through the thinning crowd a little more successfully than I managed to walk across a flat surface. I stopped at the edge of the dance floor, my eyes scanning the people. I saw the back of Benjamin's head, and my eyes widened when I saw him cozied up with Eric. The song was a little slower, the beat just as hard, and the two of them were wrapped up in each other. Their hands were roaming backs and arms, and as I watched, Eric kissed Benny's neck, making his eyes flutter closed.
Well, whatta ya know?
It seemed I wasn't the only one frustrated and seeking some sort of relief tonight. My eyes drifted away from them, and I saw Jasper standing just a few feet away. His movements were graceful and liquid, a stark contrast to the hard lines of his body, and my lips parted as I stood there, watching him. He was lost to the world, absorbed in the music, and I was walking across the floor before I even realized it.
I went straight to him, face to face, and slipped my fingers into the waistband of his jeans, closing the distance between us roughly. My other arm went around his waist, and his eyes shot open as his arms closed around me.
As soon as he got over the initial shock, his lips curled into a seductive smile, and he said, "Well, hello to you, too…" His arms flexed, pulling me closer, and I let my knee slip between his as I leaned forward, my lips hovering near his ear.
"Take me upstairs and fuck me." I kissed his neck just beneath his ear, moaning as I tasted the salt of his skin for the first time. Then I truly realized what I'd just done. Even with liquid courage coursing through my veins, I felt a lump in my throat as I waited for his response.
And then stopped.
The two of us stood still on the dance floor, our arms around each other as we raised our heads. We stared at each other in silence, and the sight of his gorgeous face was too much for me. "You know you want to."
Surprise flickered through his blue eyes along with lust and…something else. Something I couldn't define. His lips pressed into a thin line, and anger flared in my chest, the fear of rejection burning me. "No strings," I continued, annoyed that he still hadn't said anything. "I'm not asking for anything else, JD. I just fucking want you." My voice was breathless and hoarse by the end, and I leaned toward him again, my lips and tongue tracing the line of his jaw.
"Don't call me that."
I shifted away from him again so that I could see his eyes. They were guarded, unsure, and I wanted to shake him. It wasn't like I hadn't thrown myself at him. What the fuck could he be unsure about?
He began moving again, slowly and off-beat, but his hands went to my hips, guiding my movements to match his. He still didn't say anything, and his eyes flickered back and forth between mine as he wet his lips.
"Okay," I said finally, just to have something to say. "I won't…Jasper."
His blue eyes darkened then, and they nearly fluttered closed before he came to a decision and nodded once. "Come on," he ordered at last.
He turned around, his hand sliding over to take mine as he pulled my fingertips away from the waist of his pants. I expected him to drop my hand, but he held on tighter, his arm trailing behind him as he led me off the dance floor. He let me go when we reached the stairs, but halfway up, he glanced over his shoulder to make sure I was following.
And caught me staring at his ass. I couldn't help it. I'd tried so hard for so long not to let on that I was attracted to him that I felt…just…fucking free, and I was doing all those things I'd denied myself for the past year and a half.
He went to his room, opening the door and stepping inside without another look at me. As soon as I walked through the doorway, though, he slammed it closed and locked it, and his body was heavy against mine as he kissed me hungrily. His lips parted mine, his tongue slipping between, and we both moaned at the contact as my hands gripped his hips.
Just as quickly as it began, Jasper ended our kiss and turned around, wrapping his hand around my wrist as he pulled me behind him. He stalked purposefully across his bedroom toward his bathroom door. As an officer of our fraternity, he was one of the few who had the luxury of a private bathroom.
I glanced at the bed in confusion as we passed it, and Jasper tugged on my arm, urging me to move faster. When I shifted my eyes forward and focused on the back of his head again, on his broad shoulders and his biceps stretching the sleeves of his t-shirt, I felt a shiver travel down my spine as what was happening suddenly became real.
He flipped on the light as we walked into his bathroom, and I squinted at the sudden brightness as it was reflected back at me in the mirrors lining the far wall. Jasper turned to me, leading me to lean against the counter as he stepped between my legs and put his hands on my hips. His kisses were slower now, but the edge of urgency was still there. He sucked on my tongue, and I groaned, my hips shifting instinctively as I imagined his mouth all over my body.
One corner of his lips lifted in a crooked smile as he pulled away, his hands going to the button on my jeans. "You're sure?" he murmured.
I bit my lip to stop my "For the love of God, yes please" and just nodded instead. As he popped the button on my jeans, his teeth bit into my ear before he whispered, "You know I top?"
"Fuck." My curse was barely audible, swallowed by my moan as my hips shifted on the counter. Just the thought of Jasper filling me…taking me… "Fuck." My voice was stronger this time, and my hands went to the waist of Jasper's pants, where I unbuttoned and unzipped them, slipping my hand inside.
I could feel the slick moisture near his head even through his boxers, and I wrapped my hand around his dick, shivering in anticipation as I felt him for the first time. He was a little thicker than me, about as long, and all I wanted was to see him, taste him…feel him stretching me.
"I want you, too."
When I heard his voice, it took me a moment to realize I'd been speaking my thoughts. I wondered what, exactly, I'd said, but I didn't really fucking care because he pushed my jeans over my hips, pulling me upright so he could let them fall to my knees. He raised his head, and his blue eyes were staring into mine when he lowered my boxers, and then his warm, sure hand wrapped around my cock, and my eyes rolled back in my head as his lips crashed to mine.
"God damn, Edward, you're so fucking hard…"
I'd fantasized about him so often, imagined hearing him say my name just like that, and it was the final push I needed to let everything go. I wasn't worried anymore about what we were or afraid that he would send me on my way or that he didn't want this, too. There was just Jasper's heat and his scent and the pressure of his hand as he stroked me and his lips as they danced with mine.
Then his lips moved over my jaw, sucking at my Adam's apple before he broke away and ripped my shirt over my head, barely giving me time to lift my arms. His hand was back around me at once, and he kissed his way down my chest, biting and sucking roughly, until he was on his knees. My knees weakened at the sight of Jasper's wavy blond hair just in front of my hips, and I sat down on the counter hard, my ass resting on the edge. He ran his hands from my knees along my thighs up to my hips, and then he took me deeply in his mouth without preamble.
My leg jerked, my knee hitting his chest, and he shoved it away, settling himself between my legs as he sucked me earnestly, his fingertips digging into the backs of my thighs. My brain was still dulled, my thoughts moving a little too slowly, and my body was in utter bliss as Jasper's lips and tongue teased me, tracing my head, running along my slit, driving me mad with desire.
My fingers knotted in his hair, and I made the mistake of looking down, watching my shaft disappear between Jasper's beautiful lips, and it was too much for me. When he took me deeper, and I felt my head hitting the back of his throat, I cried out, his name falling from my lips as I came, waves of pleasure pulsing through my body as my grip relaxed and I slumped against the counter.
I didn't know whether to apologize or thank him, but when he stood with a self-satisfied smirk, I compromised and just kissed him as hard as I could. A needy sound escaped my chest when I tasted myself on his tongue, and I pulled away, biting his earlobe hard and whispering, "Fucking unbelievable…even better than I imagined…"
He took my face between his hands, pulling my lips to his eagerly, and when he broke our kiss, he murmured, "You imagined this?"
I realized my mistake, but I wasn't going to try to hide it, so I just nodded dumbly. My legs – hell, my whole body – felt weak, but I was so ready to have him, so ready to make him feel just as good as he'd made me feel that I reached out, pushing his jeans the rest of the way down before I tugged at the bottom of his shirt. He lifted his arms, and I pulled his shirt off, letting it fall to the floor.
I bit my bottom lip, my eyes drinking in Jasper's nude form. I'd seen him half-clothed before, but my imagination had failed me in conjuring up how breathtaking he was bare and aroused. He let me look for a minute before he leaned over, pulling the rest of his clothes off and shoving them to the side. I took off my socks with my toes, not trusting myself to lean over, and when I looked back up at Jasper, he was watching me as he ran his fingers through his messy hair.
I started to drop to my knees, but he caught me by the elbows and pulled me close, moaning when our bare flesh met. He kissed me and then turned me around suddenly, his arms a vise around my chest as his tongue teased the shell of my ear and he murmured, "Not this time…didn't you say you wanted me to fuck you, baby?"
Goose bumps broke out on my flesh, and I shivered at his words, at the implication that there might be another time…and the way his voice wrapped around the word "baby," a gentle, titillating caress.
I felt dazed, my mind still clouded with alcohol and marijuana and lust, and I swallowed hard, nodding as I tried to find the words to tell him just how badly I wanted that. Luckily, I didn't have to, as Jasper began kissing along my shoulders, his hips rocking lightly against mine as his cock stuttered and glided against my ass. His arms slowly relaxed, his palms moving sensually along my chest as he teased my nipples.
One hand slipped down to rest on my hip while the other moved to grip my biceps. I turned my head, reaching back to hold on to Jasper's thigh as my lips sought his. My other hand reached out, holding on to the counter as the darkness behind my eyelids and the enormity of what was happening made the room spin. Our kiss was somehow gentle, building in intensity as everything around us seemed to fade away.
When his lips left mine, he reached into a drawer beside me and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. His gaze met mine in the mirror, and he arched an eyebrow, unapologetic.
Despite what I told myself, bile rose in my throat at the thought of him using those with someone else, and I felt the first stirring of doubt that maybe I'd done the wrong thing.
But then Jasper's husky voice was whispering words of encouragement as he opened the bottle, and then his slippery fingers were caressing my entrance, one slipping inside as his other hand pressed between my shoulder blades. I backed up a few steps, and Jasper moved with me so that I could rest my palms on the edge of the counter, my fingers curving beneath as he began preparing me for him.
"God, you're going to be so tight…" A second finger joined the first, and his other hand rubbed large, soothing circles on my lower back. My eyes were glued to him in the mirror, and I watched in fascination as he focused on what he was doing to me, his blue eyes following the movement of his hand and tracing the curve of my ass before he licked his lips.
He raised his head then, his eyes meeting mine as his fingers slipped away, only to be thrust back in with a third. My hips tightened as my eyes snapped closed, and when I forced them open again, Jasper was still watching me. The look on his face was one I'd never seen before – he looked tormented and enraptured and excited, all at the same time. I wanted to ask him what was on his mind, but it hardly seemed like the time, especially since he wanted to do this with no strings attached.
If he were mine, I could ask him. I could wonder what was wrong, see how I could help. Reassure him that I loved and wanted him.
But he wasn't mine. And I wasn't sure I loved him. And all he wanted right then was to fuck me, to feel good, and find some relief for his aching cock – and I could give him that.
With my eyes on his in the mirror, I licked my dry lips so I would be able to speak and whispered, "Fuck me, Jasper…please."
Despite the fact that this was purely physical, Jasper took his time, making sure that I was ready for him – and that it felt good for me, too. He pulled his hand away and reached for the condom, but once it was on and coated with lube, he said, "Come here, Edward."
I turned to face him, confused by the conflicting emotions I thought I saw in his eyes. I cursed my lack of judgment earlier in the night. Without the ridiculous amounts of alcohol and my indiscretions with Quil and the Apeman, I might've been able to figure out what it was I was seeing on his face…but then again, I likely wouldn't have had the courage to give myself to Jasper in the first place.
He wrapped his arms low around my waist, letting his forearms rest on my hipbones, and he pulled me flush against him. The lube was cold on my belly, but Jasper tilted his head and kissed me tenderly, his lips moving softly against mine, and I wished like hell I could understand what his body was telling me. There was something there…something I was afraid to even hope for, but before I could puzzle it out, he bit my bottom lip with a growl and spun me around.
He took my wrists in hand and put my palms back on the counter, pulling my hips away and stepping behind me. His right hand gripped my hip while his left helped guide him into me. When I felt the ridge of his head stretching me with that familiar burning sting, I wanted to weep. He felt so goddamn right, and I couldn't stand the thought that this was the only time I would ever know him this way.
I heard his rough voice mutter something that sounded like, "Fucking mine," as he pushed the rest of the way into me, but I couldn't be sure as the sound was lost in my voice crying out.
My toes turned inward, my knees buckling, and I locked my elbows to stay upright. My head was hanging down, my hair in my face, and Jasper's fingers tangled in my hair, pulling my head up so that I was looking at him in the mirror. "Don't hide your face," he whispered, and made sure I understood before he let his hand roam down my back, coming to rest on my hip.
His right hand moved to my thigh while his left gripped my shoulder, and he began moving slowly, his hips pulling away and then thrusting back into me forcefully. His movements were deliberate, and his eyes were constantly in motion, alighting on my face in the mirror before they drifted to the right, watching our bodies in the full-length mirrors on the wall.
I followed his gaze, a quiet, "Oh, fuck," tumbling from my lips when I saw the seductive way his hips rolled. I'd never been with anyone who moved the same way. He didn't thrust in and out horizontally, the way I'd come to expect. Rather, his hips stayed against mine, a rocking motion driving him deeper within me, letting him pull away before he was back again. His balls brushed mine, our flesh heating with the friction, and it was the most delicious torture I'd ever known.
His right hand left me, coming to rest on his own ass as he straightened up, lowering his chin to watch the union of our bodies firsthand. I turned back to the mirror in front of me, needing to see his face close up, and the sight of his parted lips and furrowed brow made me whimper with longing. I wanted to see him like that again. I wanted to see him like that always.
My head dropped to my chest. I needed to hide my face, no matter what he said. I couldn't let him see the hurt and desire written there. His hand slid up my back and over my shoulder, finding its way beneath my chin, where he forced it up again. I left my eyes closed, too afraid of what I might see, but Jasper's rough voice commanded, "Look, Edward."
It was the sound of my name that did it, that reminded me that if this was a one-time thing, I wanted to remember every little detail – because I knew it was sure as hell going to be fueling my fantasies for many nights to come.
Jasper's breathing was becoming more erratic, and even though I didn't know him, I could tell it wouldn't be long. I threw myself into the experience, shutting off that morose part of my brain that wanted to dwell on what could've been – but would never be. Instead I felt his hard length thrusting into me again and again, and I listened to his panting voice grunt and call out my name. I felt the bite of the countertop's edge on my fingertips and the tingling in my toes every time Jasper buried himself in me.
I was breathing heavily, grunting and moaning with him when he suddenly thrust into me several times in quick succession. Both his hands were on my shoulders, pulling me back against him hard, and I called out his name when I felt him pulse within me. His hips slowed but didn't stop, and his thighs trembled against mine.
He let out a shaky breath as he held the base of the condom and pulled out of me, but he didn't go far. He rested his head between my shoulder blades, one arm around my waist holding me close while the other supported his weight on the counter. We stood like that for a long moment before he was kissing my shoulder blades, murmuring words I couldn't hear.
When he straightened again, his eyes were guarded once more, and he gave me a small smirk as he pulled off the condom and stepped over to the trashcan, tossing it inside. He ran his fingers through his hair when he walked back to me, and we stood looking at each other before he sighed and gave me a small but genuine smile.
"Come here," he muttered again, and he took my hands, pulling me to him and kissing me softly. It was a chaste kiss, something completely unexpected, but I returned it with something like reverence. I didn't know what was happening, but I felt a faint hint of hope in that kiss.
Hope that was dashed when he whispered, "No strings, right?" against my lips.
I swallowed down the words I wanted to say and nodded. "No strings."
A/N: Thank you again for your generous contribution to the Support Stacie Auction.
We hope that you have enjoyed reading about these boys.
Leave them some love! Who knows? You might hear from them again ^_~
Oh, almost forgot! This fic was written based off of a picture prompt. You can find it on our blog. The name of the fraternity is completely made up. We did what research we could to make sure it wasn't a real one because we wanted a fresh home for our boys.