A/N I do not own The Hunger Games, or its characters. Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins!

Chapter One

Katniss

I look in the mirror, down at my pants. The stupid button won't close! I hold back the tears as I try one more time. I suck in as best I can, but nothing changes. Frustrated, I rip the pants off and look to find something else. I've worn the pants with a stretchy waistband for two days now. I can't wear it again!

I'm moody and tired. I just give up and crawl into my bed, sobbing. How am I supposed to deal with this? If only Peeta were with me…

But he wasn't. I bawled as I thought of him locked up somewhere under the Capitol's control. I was somewhat safe in District 13, working out the rebellion, but it didn't matter as long as he wasn't here with me.

I placed my hand over my lower abdomen, which was beginning to swell. I didn't know how I was supposed to tell anyone about this. Haymitch, my mother, Gale, oh goodness Gale!

No one understood why for the past three months I'd been so adamant about retrieving Peeta from the Capitol's clutches. I'd never said before that I loved him without a camera around. Sure, we were friends, we had a bond, but the absolute passion I had for his safety was that of a mad lover. It wasn't any wonder Gale couldn't stand to be around me anymore. I wasn't myself.

I ask myself again, as I had many times before, who was it that I loved? I'd felt such a pull toward Gale before the Quarter Quell, before we even knew. But I had been driven to protect Peeta in the Games. And now, I longed for him more than anything in the entire world.

After a half hour of tears, I wipe my eyes and know I have to start going again. If I don't, Peeta may never get out. And I have to work while I can. If anyone knows my condition, they'll never let me go on the rescue mission for Peeta.

I sigh and pick up the stretchy pants. I have a feeling they will be my go-to until I can find another pair or I eventual have to let them all know.

I dress and leave my room for the kitchen. I really want some oranges, but they don't grow here in District 13. I sigh and settle with an apple, but I'm not happy about it.

Prim's cooking some oatmeal as I sit down at our table and munch on the fruit. I wrinkle my nose. The oatmeal has an awful smell.

"Do you want any?" Prim offers me.

I shake my head and turn away in disgust. I've been so picky about food lately. I try to hide it, but my body's become revolted and driven by certain foods. I'm most careful around my mother, but also Haymitch. I worry about either of them figuring it out.

I'm just lucky that Prim's started her menstrual cycle this past year. I'm able to conceal my own lack of a period by acting particularly moody and cramping when Prim's on her period, and pretending we're on the same time. That way, my mother can't find out the truth.

When I'm done eating I leave our apartment and make my way down the long flight of steps. District 13 has tall buildings like the Capitol, but they are much older. The elevators don't work anymore.

I walk down the street and head down to what the natives of 13 call the "subway". It used to be for transportation, a long time ago, and during the rebellion and after, it was the homes of hundreds. But for the past fifty years, people had moved back up to the tall apartments.

Now the subway is where the Rebels meet. The guards just look at me and let me inside. My face is known all over here now, as well. I walk down the steps and past some of the District's spies and workers. Some people greet me, but I just tersely nod my head.

I'm given access to the most secretive room—The Mockingjay Room. It's here that the head Rebels plan against the Capitol. And I'm one of them, naturally so, because of my symbolic importance. That, and after the little stunt Haymitch and Plutarch Heavensbee pulled on me during the Quarter Quell, I didn't trust anyone. That was never going to happen again.

I'm the last one there. The Mayor of District 13, Plutarch, Haymitch, and a few other leaders are there as I take my seat.

"Oh, good, Katniss is here," Haymitch says sarcastically, "we can start now."

I scold at him. Ever since the quell ended, we've been on rocky terms. I hate him, because I blame him for having Peeta taken from me. And he only responds back with an equal amount to my absolute loathing toward him.

They talk about some sort of activity going around in the Districts. I don't care for this part. The only reason I come is for Peeta, which is only a small part of the big discussion. Of course I care about the rebellion, but I can't focus on it. I don't feel part of the plans. Maybe that will change when we get Peeta back. But for now, I can't focus on the rest of it.

Finally, after three hours of everyone else talking, the Mayor brings up the topic I'm interested in.

"We've been able to have one of our spies smuggled into a prisoner of war camp," Plutarch announces. "It's the one we've been looking for."

He glances over at me. An overwhelming sense of pure happiness overwhelms me, but is quickly overshadowed with dread.

"The one with Peeta?" I ask. "Where is it? Is he okay?"

"Our source has just arrived there," Plutarch says. "He hasn't seen Peeta or Johanna yet. They're both in top security."

"But he is there?" I ask.

"Our sources are ninety percent certain," says Plutarch.

"Then what are we going to do? What's the plan to save him? What's the timeline?" I ask.

"Katniss," Haymitch growls. "This is a very complicated situation. We can't just go bursting in when we've no idea where he's even kept. This could go on for months still. Don't get too excited, sweetheart."

My face flames as he talks down to me like that.

"We may not have months! Peeta could be dead by then! We don't even know how he's doing now!" I scream.

Haymitch slams his hand down. "Peeta is not the only prisoner, Katniss! We can't risk our entire operation just for him!"

"You don't care!" I accuse. "You've never cared he's in there! You just used him!"

Haymitch is furious.

"Never cared?" He asks. "I was the one who got you in the plan to have you two live! I didn't ever want Peeta to get captured! I tried to save him! I wish he weren't in the hands of those monsters, and every day I wonder if I could have done something differently. But it's the way it is, and we can't change it."

"You don't know," I cry. "You can't possibly know how much we need him."

"You mean how much you need him," says Haymtich. "You don't care about the rebellion, Katniss. You just want Peeta back because you feel guilty and because you miss him. He wouldn't want this, Katniss. He wouldn't want us to risk everything we've built up so he can live."

I tremble, because I know it's true. All Peeta ever wanted was for me to live, and to live in a world where my child could grow without a fear of being reaped, of seeing what I've seen. He'd hate me if our cover was blown because I was selfish. I'm the only one who needs him.

"What can we do?" I ask in a low voice. "What can I do?"

Plutarch shakes his head. "I'm afraid all we can do is wait for further information. This agent's top priority is to find out more about Peeta and Johanna, as well as any other high-security prisoners. Until then, we can't formulate any concrete plans."

I nod my head and sit back, biting my lip to keep the tears from sliding down my cheeks.

I don't pay much attention to the rest of the meeting. When it's over, I tiredly walk back to the apartment. I lay down on my bed until my mother calls me to dinner.

I'm surprised to see Madge there. Besides my family and Gale's family, Madge and her mother were the only people to escape the destruction of District 12. Some spies for the rebels had been able to warn the Mayor of District 12, who instructed his daughter and wife to leave. Madge had come across Gale and told him. They gathered everyone from Gale's family as well as Prim and my mother. They all escaped past the fence into the woods as the rest of District 12 was destroyed by the Capitol. The Mayor had stayed behind to try and assemble his people, but it was too chaotic with such a large group, and they were unable to get out. The Rebels sent a hovercraft to pick the group of survivors up from a remote location in the forest that the Mayor had told Madge to go to. All of them had been living in District 13 since.

"Hello Katniss," Madge says quietly.

"Hi Madge," I hug her, which I'd never been to keen to do before, just because I'd preferred my own personal space before.

She stays with us during dinner, and she and I stay up talking as Prim and my mother go to sleep.

"Is there anything new with Peeta?" She asks, hesitantly. I've been known to spontaneously burst into tears when his name is said.

"You know I'm not allowed to say anything," I say.

Madge nods her head. "I know, but, I really hope they find him. I don't like seeing you like this…"

Tears spring to my eyes, I just can't help my emotions anymore. I know I'm worrying everyone. I don't want to, but how can I control anything anymore?

Maybe…maybe I'm so much worse because I don't have anyone to talk to. Before, I could talk to Gale or Peeta. I obviously couldn't talk to either of them right now. My mother was out of the question, and I didn't want to burden Prim. But Madge, she wasn't allowed to know anything. She wouldn't know if I were going to save Peeta, so she couldn't ever stop me. And she wouldn't hate me.

"Madge," I whisper. "Madge, I'm…I'm pregnant."

Madge's eyes fly open wide. Her hand goes up to cover her mouth in shock. I look down so she can't see the tears in my eyes. I know why I'm emotional now, but I still hate it.

"Is it Gale's?"

I look up, startled. "No!"

"Then…oh, Katniss," Madge puts her hand over mine. "No wonder you've been so…"

"Hysterical?"

"Concerned."

I shake my head and laugh. "I've been a complete wreck."

"So what Peeta said was true? You had your own toasting?" Madge asks.

I blush. "No, Peeta doesn't even know. He really thought he was making it all up at the interview."

"What happened?" Madge asks. "If you don't mind telling me."

"It was before we knew about the Quarter Quell, about a week before," I say. "I have terrible nightmares, and when we were touring earlier, Peeta would spend the night with me. Not in that way, he would just sleep next to me. Whenever I woke up crying, he comforted me. Well, one morning Peeta stopped by early to drop off some fresh bread. I had a nightmare, and I was crying and screaming. He came up to comfort me like he did on the train. But that nightmare, I was watching Peeta die. I was still half asleep when he came in and I just couldn't believe it was him. I—I had to sure it was real…I kissed him."

I felt embarrassed. My cheeks reddened as I try to explain, "I don't know what happened. He never meant to do that, either, he just came in to calm me down. But I was so sure he was gone, and…the whole thing was my fault. I pushed it. Peeta couldn't help it, he's always wanted…he's always loved me. But eventually I realized what it meant. I yelled at him, I was so angry, even though I knew it was my fault, probably more than his. He left before my mother or sister woke up. I didn't see him again until they announced about the quell, and I didn't have the heart to be mad at him anymore. We never talked about it."

"Did you know? During the Games?" Madge asks.

"I suspected something, but I didn't want to consider it. I wanted Peeta to live, so I couldn't possibly think about that," I say.

"Who else knows?" Madge asks.

"No one," I say. Then I grasp both of her hands tightly with mine. "Oh, you can't tell anyone!"

Madge shakes her head. "I won't breathe a word until you're ready. But you have to realize, you aren't going to be able to hide this much longer."

I look down at my stomach. Four months. Some women can hide it longer than others, especially those who're having their first child. I'm barely beginning to bulge, but I know Madge's right. My time is limited. I have to save Peeta now.

A/N Because Mockingjay is so close to coming out (squee!) this is going to be fairly short, and more about the relationships than the rebellion, mostly because I favor writing that part, but also because the whole idea for this fanfic is based more off of relationships than strategy of rebellion. Just so you can get an idea of the way I'm going. :] Review please!