Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

A/N: Well, here's Reading Midnight Sun as promised. I just wanted to make a few things clear first because I have gotten a few reviews about this. I'm only going to be doing the twelve official chapters that SM had written and no more. The manuscripe they are reading isn't really a book it's just a bunch of papers that are tied together. This is taking place before Bella meets the Cullens (which will be explain in more detail in a few paragraphs).

Thanks to Sunray16 and Angelinia who beta this story.

Chapter One

First Sight

Isabella Swan was just getting off the plane, waiting with wary trepidation for her father, Police chief Charlie Swan, to arrive and take her to the place that she would be calling 'home'. She sighed. Her plane landed twenty minutes early and she didn't think Charlie would be there yet, though that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, seeing as she didn't really know what to expect from her father. She has only seen him a few weeks during the summertime over most of her seventeen years of life and this was the first time since she was a toddler that she would be living with him with any sense of permanency.

"Bella," she heard her name being called from behind her. She had gotten her bags and had only been waiting two minutes before she could see Charlie walking towards her. Before she knew it, he was giving her an awkward hug.

"Ch... Dad," she said, trying to hug him back.

"How was your flight?" he asked nervously, rubbing the back of his head before he reached down to get her two bags.

"It was all right," she said. She would have preferred a flight that was a little closer to the start of the school year, but they had all been booked up. She thought that all six flights she could have taken before this all being fully booked at this time of year a little weird, but there was nothing she could do about that now. And now, she was going to have to spend three nights and two whole days with nothing to do. This wouldn't have been such a bad thing – she didn't mind having her alone time, but she really wished she could have spent a few extra days in the sun with her mom. Not to mention, she wasn't sure of what Charlie had planned and hoped it wasn't anything too bad... maybe he could even be working so she didn't have to constantly keep up the facade that she was happy about this move.

"Er..." Charlie stammered when they were halfway through their three hour drive to Forks from Seattle. For most of the ride neither one had said much. In fact, after the pleasantries were done with, neither of them had spoken a word. Though it was odd, neither was overly uncomfortable about this situation, except for the fact that Bella wasn't particularly thrilled that they were riding in the police cruiser.

"Do you remember my friend Billy...Billy Black?"

"Hmm..." Bella said, frowning thoughtfully. "I don't think so."

"I go fishing with him all the time," Charlie said, trying to see if that would help her remember. "I used to take you with me sometimes when you where little and you would play with his kids..."

Bella frowned at that, still not remembering who Billy Black was and now wasn't trying to remember. She really hated it when her dad would to take her fishing. That's why she had insisted that he come to see her in California for two weeks instead of going to Forks – well one of the reasons – the other being that it was always raining in Forks, no matter what time of year it was.

"Sorry C...Dad."

"Er..." Charlie hesitated, nervous again. He was hoping she would remember them so it wouldn't be so awkward, but there was nothing he could do about this now. "Well they…er...Billy and his son, Jacob that is, are kind of coming over for dinner...if that's okay."

"Sure, Dad," Bella said, not really comfortable with this idea, but there wasn't really anything she could do about it. Hopefully they wouldn't stay too long so she could brood over the upcoming days in peace.

"Good," Charlie sighed, but gave her a wary look, like he knew what she was thinking. Luckily, Bella didn't notice; it only would have made her feel worse. "I do have another surprise for you."

"What?" Bella asked.

"You'll see," Charlie smiled and the rest of the drive passed in silence. The surprise turned out to be an old, beat-up looking, red truck that, despite herself, she instantly loved.

"Wow, Dad, this is great!" Bella said as she looked it over.

"Your mom said you wanted a car," Charlie explained, looking more uncomfortable than she had seen him all day. He was blushing slightly at her reaction to his gift. "I thought I would get it for you as a welcome home gift."

"Thanks, Dad," Bella smiled at him – it seemed to be a more genuine smile than he was used to and he couldn't help returning it.

It was only a half hour later when Billy and Jacob showed up. Billy was being helped in by Charlie and Jacob because of his wheelchair. The moment that she saw Billy, Bella instantly remembered him, however, she didn't recognized his son at all. Dinner, pizza brought by the Blacks, went a lot better than she could have imagined. It was more than a little awkward at first since she couldn't really relate to any of them. Charlie and Billy seemed to have gotten into a heated discussion about some kind of sporting event and she wasn't interested enough to follow the conversation. Jacob didn't really say much; he was stuffing his face with half the pizza before anyone even had one piece, but he was giving her weird glances and looking away quickly when he was caught looking.

"Well, that was good. It looks like the game is almost on..." Charlie smiled and then he glanced at his daughter hesitantly, not sure if it really was okay to just leave her like this as he wasn't used to living with anyone.

"So, Bella, I bet you're excited about going to a new school..." Jacob said, trying to start a conversation so Charlie would be okay with leaving them to watch the game.

"Of course, doesn't everyone dream about starting at a new school in the middle of the term," Bella said sarcastically. Though, she was grateful to Jacob for the question because she had no interest in watching whatever game was one, even if her dad did.

"It must help that it's in small school, too," Jacob chuckled. "Everyone has been talking about you."

"Thanks for the reminder," Bella groaned, gratitude fading, but at least Charlie was out of their hair for now.

"Er... Bella, um... I've got to tell you... er... show you... um... well it's something kind of weird," Jacob stumbled over his words, not really knowing how to bring this up.

"What is it?" Bella eyed him suspiciously.

"Well... er... it's kind of the reason why we're here today, me and my dad, that is," Jacob said, lowering his voice so he wouldn't be overheard - not that either of their dad's could hear anything they said with the game on. "I mean, why I got dad and Charlie excited about this game, well more like watching the game together, they're always excited about..."

"Jacob," Bella interrupted his rambling.

"Sorry," Jacob blushed slightly. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, and you'll probably think I'm an idiot for following through with this. I mean, it could just turn out to be some kind of prank one of my friends is pulling on me...though, of course, it's probably not, seeing as they don't even know who you are... of course, with Charlie blabbing all about you..."

"Jacob," Bella interrupted again.

"Sorry…again," Jacob sighed and then said simply, "I was given this manuscript and told that I should read it with you as soon as possible."

Jacob then handed her the stack of papers loosely held together that he had been given a week ago. There was a note telling him that he had to read this book with only Bella Swan, who his dad had told him weeks ago was moving to Forks, and by no means was he to read the book by himself, which he had no inkling to do.

Bella just looked at the book for a moment with furrowed eyebrows. "So, you just came here because you were told to?" she finally asked, looking curious.

"What?" Jacob asked. He was expecting her to think he was crazy and not take this seriously. "Yeah, I guess... the note said we would be friends, too, if that's helps any."

Bella was looking thoughtful, not really sure what to make of this. What was with this mysterious manuscript? Did it have anything to do with all the flights that were booked up? Should she really follow what a piece of paper said when she had no idea where it came from? Jacob seemed to be happy enough to follow it, but was it really something that she should be doing? Then again, she had nothing to do over the weekend and this would get her out of the house a little. Besides, Jacob seemed like a nice enough guy – she might even become friends with him. "Okay, I guess we could read."

"Good!" Jacob said, truly looking relieved. "I was afraid that you would think I was weird. Plus, it's always nice to make a new friend."

"What makes you think that we're friends?" Bella teased. "I'm still on the fence about you..."

"That's good enough for me," Jacob smiled and she rolled her eyes, but smiled too as she started to read. "Wait," he said, putting his hand on the pages, pausing to look at Billy and Charlie in the living room. "The note specifically said that this was something only you and me can hear...can we go somewhere they can't hear us?"

"I guess," Bella said warily and got up to go to her room.

"What are you two kids up to?" Charlie asked; of course, there had to be a commercial break.

"I was just going to show Jacob my room... it's a little loud in here," Bella said, trying to be as truthful as possible so it would be more believable. She was a horrible lair.

"Okay," Charlie said, looking a little suspicious, but the game was starting, so his attention was divided again. "Just leave your door open."

"Fine," Bella said, rolling her eyes and she motioned for Jacob to follow her up the stairs. "Are you happy now?"

"Sure," Jacob chuckled, not sure where to sit, so he picked the chair at her desk and Bella sat down on her bed.

"I guess I can read now," Bella huffed as she finally got to look at the manuscript and read "Midnight Sun."

"What does that mean?" Jacob asked.

"You didn't even read the title?" Bella asked, incredulous.

"I didn't see the point," Jacob said. "And you still haven't answered my question."

"I don't know what midnight sun means," Bella said, wondering if she could really get through all this if he was going to interrupt like this all the time.

"First Sight." Bella read.

This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep.

"Able to sleep?" Bella muttered. Doesn't everyone...everything sleep.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word?

"I would go with purgatory," Jacob chuckled.

"School's not so bad," Bella said.

"Oh...er...maybe I should leave," Jacob looked at her skeptically.

Bella rolled her eyes and started reading again.

If there was any way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure.

"How many sins could this guy have committed if he's only in high school?" Jacob asked.

"First of all, you don't know it's a guy yet," Bella said. "And it could possibly be a teacher speaking."

"It sounds like a guy to me," Jacob shrugged, "and it would really be pathetic if this is a teacher...I mean it would be their chosen profession and all."

"Good point."

The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

I suppose this was my form of sleep—if sleep was defined as the inert state between active periods.

"Er... I don't know if I like this book..." Jacob started.

"Manuscript," Bella corrected.

Jacob rolled his eyes, "manuscript very much."

"What, is the vocabulary too hard for you to understand?" Bella asked dryly and Jacob made a face at her.

I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head.

"Okay... that explains a lot," Jacob said.

"What are you talking about?" Bella asked.

"This guy is crazy," he said. "He hears voices in his head."

"He doesn't sound crazy," she said defensively. "And you shouldn't jump to conclusions."

"Okay... but what else am I supposed to think when someone says they're hearing voices in their head?"

"Er... that they have ESP or something," she said.

He looked at, her raising an eyebrow; he seemed to think that she might be the crazy one now. "Do you actually believe that's possible?" he finally asked, laughing.

"No, not really," Bella said. "It was the best I could come up with."

Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom.

When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some.

"Hah... it sounds like mind reading to me," Bella exclaimed proudly, and then was shocked by her behavior; she wasn't one to yell like that.

"So this book is fantasy then," Jacob said. "I suppose that's better than reading about some crazy guy."

Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to work them all up. I'd seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—like flashing a shiny object at a child.

Bella shivered at this.

"What's the matter?" Jacob asked.

"I'm going to have to go through that in two days," Bella groaned. She was dreading that day, and this was just making it sound worse.

"Oh... yeah..." Jacob wasn't sure what to say to that.

Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was something new to look at.

"That's ridiculous," Jacob scoffed.

"Really..." Bella said, nervous, that wasn't something that she would want to happen to her.

"Er..." Jacob stammered. He was taking about more the fact that it was stupid to like something just because it's new to look at, but he was sure that's not what she was thinking. "Sure, sure."

I tried harder to tune them out.

Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste: my family, my two brothers and two sisters, who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely gave it a thought. I gave them what privacy I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it.

Try as I may, still…I knew.

Rosalie

Jacob raised an eyebrow. He'd heard that name somewhere before... hadn't he?

was thinking, as usual, about herself. She'd caught sight of her profile in the reflection off someone's glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection.

"Argh," Jacob groaned. "I hate stuck up b..."

"I would prefer it if you didn't swear," Bella said.

Jacob looked at her and just started to laugh. "I can try, but I'm not making any promises," he was finally able to choke out.

Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.

"Well, I'm sure I'm going to love this character," Jacob said sarcastically.

Emmett

Again, that name sounded familiar to Jacob.

was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch.

"But this guy... I think I really will like," Jacob chuckled.

"Yeah... I can see that," Bella chuckled, too.

I never really felt intrusive hearing Emmett's thoughts, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action. Perhaps I only felt guilty reading the others' minds because I knew there were things there that they wouldn't want me to know. If Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool, then Emmett's was a lake with no shadows, glass clear.

"I could see how that one would make him feel less uncomfortable," Bella said. "I would hate it if someone knew my thoughts like that."

"Yeah, that would kind of suck," Jacob agreed. "But it might be cool to be the mind reader... you could know everything that's going on that way."

"That just sounds annoying to me," Bella said, "and I really don't want to know my friends and family's thoughts."

And Jasper was…suffering.

"Suffering?" Bella said in sympathy and speculation... that word seemed out of place.

I suppressed a sigh.

Edward. Alice called my name in her head, and had my attention at once.

"Ha... it is a guy," Jacob exclaimed.

"I thought it was a guy too," Bella shrugged.

It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style lately—it had been annoying; anytime anyone thought of any Edward, my head would turn automatically…

"Ah... poor guy," Jacob snickered.

My head didn't turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations.

It was rare that anyone caught us.

"Doesn't that just make you want to catch them at it?" Jacob laughed and Bella chuckled.

I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.

How is he holding up? she asked me.

I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could easily be frowning out of boredom.

Alice's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her peripheral vision. Is there any danger? She searched ahead, into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown.

"Ah... so there's another freak," Jacob said.

"It's not nice to call them freaks," Bella said.

"Then what should I call them?" he asked.

"You could try their names," Bella said.

Jacob just rolled his eyes at the suggestion

I turned my head slowly to the left, as if looking at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then to the right, back to the cracks in the ceiling. Only Alice knew I was shaking my head.

She relaxed. Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud. What would I say? 'My pleasure'?

"Yeah, that would be the polite response," Jacob chuckled.

"So, not something you would have done," Bella teased.

"Not likely," Jacob grinned. It was easy to relate to this girl, and she was pretty good looking too...

It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy listening to Jasper's struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst the way the rest of us could, and not push his limits?

"Thirst?" Bella question, but Jacob was narrowing his eyes. That seem to trigger a memory, added to it the names that were old but familiar... "What is it Jake?"

"I'm not sure yet," Jacob said.

Why flirt with disaster?

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close,

"Why does he keep saying human... as if he isn't one?" Bella asked.

"I think this might have something to do with one of our legends," Jacob said.

Bella looked at him curiously, hoping that he would tell her what he meant by that, but he didn't look like he was ready to say anything.

if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close.

Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand: we were dangerous.

Jasper was very dangerous right now.

At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend. She tossed her short, sandy hair, running her fingers through it. The heaters blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel—the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth…

"Er... okay, what's going on here?" Bella said, a little unnerved by this. "Are they snake people or something?"

Jacob, who was tense from the moment before, had to laugh at that. He laughed so hard that he couldn't stop himself for a whole minute. "No," he managed to get out.

"Then what are they?" Bella asked, glaring at him.

"I think... they might be..." Jacob said. "Cold Ones!"

"Cold Ones," Bella repeated slowly, like that made any more sense than snake people.

"Vampires," Jacob clarified. "My tribe called them the Cold Ones, but basically they're vampires."

"Vampires," Bella said. "You mean, you think there are really vampires out there?"

"No," Jacob snorted. "It's just that these sound like the ones that Dad always talks about. Besides, Bells, this is just a book... er... manuscript, remember."

This was all quite normal, usually easy to ignore. It was harder just now, with the feelings stronger, doubled, as I monitored Jasper's reaction. Twin thirsts, rather than just mine.

Jasper was letting his imagination get away from him. He was picturing it— picturing himself getting up from his seat next to Alice and going to stand beside the little girl. Thinking of leaning down and in, as if he were going to whisper in her ear, and letting his lips touch the arch of her throat. Imagining how the hot flow of her pulse beneath the fine skin would feel under his mouth…

"Argh... that sick," Jacob said. "Stupid bloodsuckers."

"It is kind of a gruesome picture, but Edward did say that Jasper was just thinking it," Bella said.

"And that makes it okay..? Do you think of things like this?" Jacob said.

"All the time," Bella rolled her eyes. "Of course not, Jake. But I'm not a vampire. Hm... do these vampires... hunt humans?"

"Oh... I'm not sure," Jacob said. "If they're the ones I'm thinking of, then no. However, that doesn't change what they are…as you can see."

"Okay, I think you need to tell me this legend of yours," Bella said. "I have a feeling that I might understand this story better if I know that."

"I'm not really supposed to tell anyone that," Jacob said. "It would break the treaty."

"What treaty?" Bella asked.

"Oops... I really shouldn't have said that," Jacob smacked his forehead with his hand.

Bella looked at him with hopeful eyes; she really wanted to know what he was talking about and Jacob couldn't help but tell her. So he told her a quick version of the legends that dealt with this, which was basically the same thing that he would have told her months from now if they had never gotten this book.

"I see," Bella said. "That was…interesting."

"Yeah, it's a nice story," Jacob shrugged.

"You don't think it's real, I take it," Bella said.

"Come on, it's full of vampires and werewolves... how could anyone believe that?" Jacob scoffed, but as unbelievable as it was, there was a part of him that had always believed it was true.

"I don't know," Bella said thoughtfully, but decided that she should start reading again.

I kicked his chair.

He met my gaze for a minute, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in his head.

"Poor guy," Bella said.

"Oh yeah, and it would have been better if he kept thinking along those lines and attacked the innocent girl," Jacob said.

"I didn't say that," Bella huffed.

"Sorry," Jasper muttered.

I shrugged.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured to him, soothing his chagrin. "I could see that."

I fought back the grimace that would give her lie away.

"Ah... convenient gift," Jacob said. "You could always reassure people by saying something like that and they would believe you."

We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn't easy, hearing voices or seeing visions of the future. Both freaks among those who were already freaks.

"Ha... they called themselves freaks," Jacob said. "I should be able to, too."

"Whatever," Bella rolled her eyes.

We protected each other's secrets.

"It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice suggested,

"What? As opposed to meals with legs," Jacob hissed darkly.

"You don't have to be so rude... they're not hurting anyone," Bella said.

"I know," Jacob sighed. "I just... I've heard a lot of bad things about them... well, their kind."

"I guess that makes sense," Bella offered. "It would probably be better if you tried to keep an open mind."

"I could try," Jacob shrugged.

her high, musical voice too fast for human ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"

"I know who she is," Jasper said curtly. He turned away to stare out one of the small windows that were spaced just under the eaves around the long room. His tone ended the conversation.

He would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them.

"That's pretty sound advice," Bella said.

"Especially when they're playing such a deadly game," Jacob said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

His former habits were not conducive to our chosen lifestyle; he shouldn't push himself in this way.

Jacob shivered at that, not sure what that had meant, but knew it wasn't good.

Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food—her prop, as it were— with her and leaving him alone. She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement.

Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who knew each other's every mood as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too—only just each other's.

Edward Cullen.

"Yep, it's the Cullens," Jacob said.

"So, these are the people... er, vampires, in your legend?" Bella asked.

"Yep," Jacob said, feeling a shiver go through him.

"Do you think that means this is real?" Bella asked softly. It was unbelievable, but then again, why else would they get a book like this... with those people in it.

"I... don't know," Jacob said thoughtfully. "I think you should keep reading."

Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called, just thought.

My eyes locked for a small portion of a second with a pair of wide, chocolate brown human eyes set in a pale, heart-shaped face. I knew the face, though I'd never seen it myself before this moment. It had been foremost in every human head today. The new student, Isabella Swan.

"Damn," Bella said. She had a feeling since Edward had mentioned chocolate brown eyes that it could actually be her that he was talking about.

"Okay... this makes it seem a lot more real," Jacob really shivered this time.

"Great," Bella sighed, thinking first about all the attention she was going to get at school and then her mind went to a different problem. "Why did this book come to us?"

"Er... I don't know... the note just said to read it," Jacob said, his mind thinking about what this could all mean.

"There has to be a reason why it was sent here...and why the story started when I first arrived," Bella said.

"Oh, great... you think you're going to attract these bloodsuckers," Jacob groaned.

"It would make sense," Bella said. "Great, just what I needed."

Daughter of the town's chief of police, brought to live here by some new custody situation.

"Custody situation," Bella huffed. "That's not what happened."

"Then what happened?" Jacob asked.

"I wanted to come here," Bella said so miserably that Jacob had to laugh. "Oh, that's nice."

"Sorry," Jacob said trying to sober up, "but your face... Okay, I'm sorry. What's the real reason you came here?"

Bella sighed. "My mom wants to be with Phil... her new husband. She would never say anything, but I could tell that she would be happier if she was with him."

"Oh," Jacob said, nodding his head. "That's... different."

"Thanks," Bella groaned.

"Sorry... just, I don't think many people would have done that," Jacob said. "I mean, it's not like you even like it here..."

"How do you know I don't like it here?" Bella asked indignantly, but she also wondered how he guessed so easily.

"You stopped coming back, didn't you?" Jacob shrugged.

"Right," Bella sighed and then decided to start reading again.

Bella. She'd corrected everyone who'd used her full name…

"Why is that?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know, I'm just used to Bella," Bella shrugged.

"That's fine, Isabella is way too hard to say," he chuckled.

"Idiot," Bella rolled her eyes.

I looked away, bored. It took me a second to realize that she had not been the one to think my name.

"Oh, crap... he's going to know what I'm thinking," Bella groaned. "I hope I don't take any notice of him... this is going to be so embarrassing."

"Ah... that sounds good to me," Jacob chuckled.

Of course she's already crushing on the Cullens, I heard the first thought continue.

Bella bowed her head. This was already embarrassing and she, her book-self that is, hadn't even thought anything yet. Jacob, of course, only made this better by laughing loudly at that, though it had more due to Bella's reaction than anything else.

Now I recognized the 'voice.'

"Why did you just do quote marks?" Jacob asked.

"Because the word had quote marks in the book," Bella said.

"I thought it was a manuscript," Jacob said smugly.

"Let's just call it a book from now on," Bella sighed impatiently. "Anyways, I think when he said voice, he meant the sound of her thoughts."

"Oh... okay then," Jacob nodded.

Jessica Stanley—it had been a while since she'd bothered me with her internal chatter. What a relief it had been when she'd gotten over her misplaced infatuation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams.

"Ah... the downside to hearing thoughts," Jacob chuckled.

I'd wished, at the time, that I could explain to her exactly what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies. The thought of her reaction almost made me smile.

Fat lot of good it will do her, Jessica went on. She's really not even pretty. I don't know why Eric is staring so much…or Mike.

"Hmph," Bella said. "It might be best if I don't make friends with her."

"I think you're pretty," Jacob said.

"Er... thanks," Bella blushed a little. No one had really told her that before. "Wait... did she mention two guys liking me...?"

"I guess," Jacob shrugged. "But you know... they only like the new shiny thing."

"Gee... that just makes me feel so much better," Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oh... right, sorry," Jacob smiled sheepishly at her.

She winced mentally on the last name. Her new infatuation, the generically popular Mike Newton, was completely oblivious to her. Apparently, he was not as oblivious to the new girl. Like the child with the shiny object again.

Jacob started laughing there and Bella ignored him... or at least she kept reading.

This put a mean edge to Jessica's thoughts, though she was outwardly cordial to the newcomer as she explained to her the commonly held knowledge about my family. The new student must have asked about us.

Everyone's looking at me today, too, Jessica thought smugly in an aside. Isn't it lucky Bella had two classes with me…I'll bet Mike will want to ask me what she's— I tried to block the inane chatter out of my head before the petty and the trivial could drive me mad.

"Thanks for that," Bella and Jacob both said.

"Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan," I murmured to Emmett as a distraction.

He chuckled under his breath. I hope she's making it good, he thought.

"Not as good as the truth, I'm sure," Jacob said.

"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."

And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?

I listened to hear what this new girl, Bella, thought of Jessica's story. What did she see when she looked at the strange, chalky-skinned family that was universally avoided?

"Or you could not... just leave the new girl alone," Bella said and Jacob failed in the attempt not to laugh at her.

It was sort of my responsibility to know her reaction. I acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for my family. To protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious, I could give us early warning and an easy retreat. It happened occasionally—some human with an active imagination would see in us the characters of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move on somewhere new than to risk scrutiny.

"I suppose that's okay then," Bella sighed, still not liking this at all.

Very, very rarely, someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightening memory…

I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jessica's frivolous internal monologue continued to gush.

"He didn't hear anything," Bella said hopefully.

"That's what it said," Jacob said.

It was as if there was no one sitting beside her. How peculiar, had the girl moved? That didn't seem likely, as Jessica was still babbling to her.

I looked up to check, feeling off-balance. Checking on what my extra 'hearing' could tell me—it wasn't something I ever had to do.

"Sorry about that," Bella said, though she was hoping that it would stay that way... that he wouldn't be able to hear her at all.

Again, my gaze locked on those same wide brown eyes. She was sitting right where she had been before, and looking at us, a natural thing to be doing, I supposed, as Jessica was still regaling her with the local gossip about the Cullens.

Thinking about us, too, would be natural.

But I couldn't hear a whisper.

Bella's voice was becoming smugger as she continued to read this.

Inviting warm red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn't like to imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control.

"Er... that's a comforting thought," Jacob said as Bella shivered.

The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead: surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine, curiosity, as she listened to Jessica's tale, and something more…fascination? It wouldn't be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her staring at me.

And now Bella was making a face.

"I take that to mean that you're annoyed about this," Jacob chuckled.

"My face is so expressive... everyone knows what I'm feeling," Bella huffed.

"But evidently your mind is hard to read," Jacob chuckled again.

Bella couldn't help but smile at that, "I suppose so."

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd, because of the depth to them; brown eyes often seemed flat in their darkness—

"I think he likes your eyes," Jacob snickered as Bella blushed again.

I could hear nothing but silence from the place she was sitting. Nothing at all.

I felt a moment of unease.

This was nothing I'd ever encountered before. Was there something wrong with me? I felt exactly the same as I always did. Worried, I listened harder.

"Er... does that mean there's something wrong with me?" Bella asked, furrowing her eyebrows. "If I'm the only one that he can't hear..."

Jacob again started to laugh at that. "Yeah, the person that is weird is the one that can't be heard... it couldn't possibly be the mind reader himself."

"Hmph... it doesn't mean that I can't be weird too," Bella huffed.

"You'll get no argument from me there," Jacob snickered.

"Jerk," Bella hissed.

All the voices I'd been blocking were suddenly shouting in my head.

…wonder what music she likes…maybe I could mention that new CD… Mike Newton was thinking, two tables away—fixated on Bella Swan.

Bella groaned before reading again.

Look at him staring at her. Isn't it enough that he has half the girls in school waiting for him to… Eric Yorkie was thinking sulfurous thoughts, also revolving around the girl.

…so disgusting. You'd think she was famous or something… Even Edward Cullen, staring… Lauren Mallory was so jealous that her face, by all rights, should be dark jade in color. And Jessica, flaunting her new best friend. What a joke… Vitriol continued to spew from the girl's thoughts.

…I bet everyone has asked her that. But I'd like to talk to her. I'll think of a more original question… Ashley Dowling mused. …maybe she'll be in my Spanish… June Richardson hoped.

"Is anyone not thinking about me?" Bella groaned, looking more glum than ever.

...tons left to do tonight! Trig, and the English test. I hope my mom… Angela Weber,

"There... she's not, you should make friends with her," Jacob said.

"I think I'll do that," Bella said.

a quiet girl, whose thoughts were unusually kind, was the only one at the table who wasn't obsessed with this Bella.

I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds. But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes.

"My eyes aren't deceptive," Bella muttered.

And, of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jessica. I didn't have to read minds to be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the long room.

"Wow... they have good hearing," Bella said.

"Apparently... I think I'll have to remember that," Jacob said.

"Yeah... me too," Bella said.

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?" I heard her ask, sneaking a look at me from the corner of her eye, only to look quickly away when she saw that I was still staring.

"Great... I just had to ask about him," Bella groaned.

If I'd had time to hope that hearing the sound of her voice would help me pinpoint the tone of her thoughts, lost somewhere where I couldn't access them, I was instantly disappointed. Usually, people's thoughts came to them in a similar pitch as their physical voices. But this quiet, shy voice was unfamiliar, not one of the hundreds of thoughts bouncing around the room, I was sure of that. Entirely new.

"You know... I think he might like you," Jacob teased, and then frowned... that wasn't a good thing.

"Shut up," Bella blushed.

Oh, good luck, idiot! Jessica thought before answering the girl's question.

"What a bitch," Jacob said.

"Jacob... no swearing, remember," Bella said.

"I told you it wasn't going to work," Jacob said. "And she really is one."

Bella didn't try to defend her.

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffed.

"Obviously she's been rejected by him," Jacob laughed.

"Yeah... seeing as he said so much a few pages ago," Bella smirked.

"Like I remember that," Jacob said, waving her off casually.

I turned my head away to hide my smile. Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to me.

Bella shivered at that thought.

Beneath the transient humor, I felt a strange impulse, one I did not clearly understand. It had something to do with the vicious edge to Jessica's thoughts that the new girl was unaware of… I felt the strangest urge to step in between them, to shield this Bella Swan from the darker workings of Jessica's mind. What an odd thing to feel.

Jacob frowned for a second, and then decided it would be more fun just to tease her about this, instead of being worried about the stories he had grown up hearing. He couldn't do anything about it now, and it was fun seeing her blush. So, with that thought, he said, "It seems like he wants to be your knight in shining armor to me."

"Yeah, right," Bella tried to say with as much dignity as she could, but, of course, she blushed.

Trying to ferret out the motivations behind the impulse, I examined the new girl one more time.

Perhaps it was just some long buried protective instinct—the strong for the weak.

This girl looked more fragile than her new classmates.

Jacob snorted at that and Bella glared at the book.

Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much defense from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the clear, pale membrane… But I should not concentrate on that. I was good at this life I'd chosen, but I was just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation.

"Oh, that's nice to know," Jacob said, but he was starting to get worried now.

There was a faint crease between her eyebrows that she seemed unaware of.

It was unbelievable frustrating! I could clearly see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment. And yet I could only sense, could only see, could only imagine. There was nothing but silence from the very unexceptional human girl. I could hear nothing. Why?

"That will certainly build up my self-esteem," Bella mumbled. He was right about everything that he said at first and she didn't really like how he had called her an unexceptional human girl.

"Shall we?" Rosalie murmured, interrupting my focus.

I looked away from the girl with a sense of relief. I didn't want to continue to fail at this—it irritated me. And I didn't want to develop any interest in her hidden thoughts simply because they were hidden from me.

"I think it's too late for that," Jacob chuckled.

No doubt, when I did decipher her thoughts—and I would find a way to do so—they would be just as petty and trivial as any human's thoughts.

"Are not," Bella pouted.

"So you want to be a weirdo... I knew it," Jacob smirked.

"Jerk," Bella said. "I just don't think I'm petty... maybe trivial though."

Not worth the effort I would expend to reach them.

"I don't believe him for a minute," Jacob said.

"So, is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his question before.

I shrugged. He wasn't interested enough to press for a more information. Nor should I be interested.

We got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria.

Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper were pretending to be seniors; they left for their classes. I was playing a younger role than they. I headed off for my junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium. It was doubtful Mr. Banner, a man of no more than average intellect, would manage to pull out anything in his lecture that would surprise someone holding two graduate degrees in medicine.

"Well, someone is a little smug," Bella observed.

"And arrogant," Jacob added. "He sounds like a know-it-all to me."

In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books—props, again; they held nothing I didn't already know—spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren't smart enough to know that they feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.

"You know... I don't think I like his opinion of humans," Jacob huffed.

The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the time to pass. Again, I wished I was able to sleep.

Because I'd been thinking about her, when Angela Weber escorted the new girl through the door, her name intruded on my attention.

Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something…but it would probably just sound stupid…

"Yes... she does seem like someone I should get to know," Bella tried to smile... it wasn't easy.

Yes! Mike Newton thought, turning in his seat to watch the girls enter.

Still, from the place where Bella Swan stood, nothing. The empty space where her thoughts should be irritated and unnerved me.

"Tough luck," Jacob chuckled and this time Bella really did smile.

She came closer, walking down the aisle beside me to get to the teacher's desk.

Poor girl; the seat next to me was the only one available.

"Of course it is," Bella sighed.

Automatically, I cleared what would be her side of the desk, shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable there. She was in for a long semester—in this class, at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her, I'd be able to flush out her secrets…not that I'd ever needed close proximity before…not that I would find anything worth listening to…

"Oh, sure... I believe you there," Jacob rolled his eyes. "This guy is in complete denial."

Bella Swan walked into the flow of the heated air that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment.

Bella stopped reading there... feeling a chill of fear go though her.

"I don't like the sound of that," Jacob said. "This isn't good at all."

"I don't like it either," Bella agreed and then started reading again; she needed to know what happened next.

In that instant, I was nothing close to the human I'd once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in remained.

I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the whole world but that truth.

Bella's voice was shaky when she read this.

There was no room full of witnesses—they were already collateral damage in my head. The mystery of her thoughts was forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she would not go on thinking them much longer.

"Yes, she will... she will go on thinking for a long time, you bloodsucking freak," Jacob growled.

"Jake... I..." Bella didn't know what to say. She was terrified of this, but she wanted to continue reading... to know what happened.

"Do you want me to read?" Jacob questioned, trying to read her expression... well, an expression that wasn't terrified, that is.

"No," Bella said. "Just... just let me try to get through this as fast as I can."

"Okay, I'll try," Jacob said.

I was a vampire, and she had the sweetest blood I'd smelled in eighty years.

"Oh, crap... that can't be good," Jacob said.

Bella tried to glare at him, but she couldn't manage it through her panic. "We already knew that."

"That just makes it sound worse than I thought," Jacob mumbled.

I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I'd known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste…

Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated.

The fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring.

Bella was tense and she was reading as fast as she could, her words hardly understandable, but the meaning was clear.

Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind from me.

As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her eyes.

The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments.

Bella relaxed infinitesimally, but she knew this wasn't even close to being over yet.

She didn't make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, blood flooded her cheeks again, turning her skin the most delicious color I'd ever seen. The scent was a thick haze in my brain. I could barely think through it. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.

She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy—

Bella thought it wasn't really her haste that made her clumsy... that was just the way she was, but she couldn't say it... nor did she really think about it for more than a second.

she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human.

I tried to focus on the face I'd seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion.

The face of the monster in me—the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!

"Well, think of the damn face and stay away from her," Jacob muttered pleadingly.

The scent swirled around me again, scattering my thoughts and nearly propelling me out of my seat.

No.

My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair.

The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and came away with a palmful of splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remaining wood.

"He's certainly strong," Bella gulped.

"Unbelievably strong," Jacob said a shaky voice.

Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized the edges of the shape with my fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor, which I scattered with my foot.

Destroy evidence. Collateral damage….

I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her.

"No, you don't," Jacob hissed, but Bella read on in her shaky, tense voice.

The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one man, could not be allowed to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see.

"No... leave them out of this," Bella said.

"Er... you're worried about them when you're the one he wants to kill?" Jacob asked.

"I don't want nineteen lives on my head," Bella said.

"He would be the one killing them," Jacob said, stunned by her logic.

"But it's only because of me that they would die," Bella said. "I don't want that... I won't allow that to happen."

"Er... you do care about your own life too, right?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," Bella answered. "I'm not suicidal or anything... I just don't like to think about a massacre happening because of me."

"Right," Jacob said, still not able to understand how she could think it was because of her, when it clearly would have been the bloodsuckers fault.

I flinched at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had never committed this kind of atrocity. I had never killed innocents, not in over eight decades.

And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once.

The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me.

Even as part of me shuddered away from the monster, another part was planning it.

If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans in the room would react. Maybe a little bit longer, if at first they did not realize what I was doing. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger with her horribly desirable blood.

"I'm sure that's a relief to her," Jacob hissed.

"It is," Bella said. It would be best if she never knew what was coming... if it did have to come.

But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn't have to worry about the windows, too high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door—block that and they were trapped.

It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when they were panicked and scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible, but there would be much more noise. Time for lots of screaming. Someone would hear…and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour.

And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others.

"And that's the important thing to be thinking about," Jacob muttered bitterly.

The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching…

So the witnesses first then.

I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row in the back. I would take my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see me coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.

Both Jacob and Bella shivered at that fact... at how coldly he was calculating this.

Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn't freeze her in place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running.

Bella didn't like that option at all, but if it saved just one other person...

I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins, burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of.

She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches away from me.

The monster in my head smiled in anticipation.

Someone slammed shut a folder on my left. I didn't look up to see which of the doomed humans it was. But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face.

For one short second, I was able to think clearly.

"Okay... so we need more un-Bella scented air to go near him," Jacob said.

In that precious second, I saw two faces in my head, side by side.

One was mine, or rather had been: the red-eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stop counting their numbers. Rationalized, justified murders. A killer of killers, a killer of other, less powerful monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledged that—deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were, in their various dark pastimes, barely more human than I was.

Jacob thought that it was almost bearable to accept something like that, but in the present situation, it didn't carry much weight... Edward was a monster that was thinking about killing Bella.

The other face was Carlisle's.

There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day and blackest night.

There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were; every vampire had the same ice pale skin. The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter—a reflection of a mutual choice.

Bella furrowed her eyes and read the last line as almost a question.

"Their eyes are yellow because they only hunt animals... or so the legend goes," Jacob answered for her.

And yet, though there was no basis for a resemblance, I'd imagined that my face had begun to reflect his, to an extent, in the last seventy-odd years that I had embraced his choice and followed in his steps. My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression, that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth, and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.

Bella almost smiled at these thoughts, and she probably would have if it wasn't for the fact that just a second ago Edward was thinking about killing her and her classmates.

All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a few moments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I'd spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all the ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil's; all likeness would be lost forever.

"Hm... he should keep thinking about this," Jacob said. "Keep his mind off..."

"Yeah," Bella agreed.

In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me. I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought I was better than I was. And he would still love me, even as I now proved him wrong.

Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward— with fear?—and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.

Tension and nervousness filled the room now.

I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my throat.

I leaned away from her in revulsion—revolted by the monster aching to take her.

Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the little peace I had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me.

Bella had a really hard time reading this.

"It's not her freaking fault, you stupid, dumbass monster!" Jacob shouted in Bella's defense. "And you're the freaking one that's not even supposed to exist... why don't you just disappear?"

Bella was grateful that he would say that, but was still hurt by Edward's thoughts.

I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred washed through me.

Who was this creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everything just because she happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in?

Why had she come here!

I didn't want to be the monster! I didn't want to kill this room full of harmless children! I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial!

Bella bowed her head at this... starting to blame herself too.

"Bella," Jacob groaned as he read her thoughts on her face. "It's not your fault."

"I know," Bella said, not really sounding convinced of that. "It's just..."

"…what he is," Jacob finished.

"He's trying not to be a monster," Bella said sadly.

"But he can't stop that," Jacob said, and seeing that he was only annoying her with this line of thinking, he didn't say more.

I wouldn't. She couldn't make me.

The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of her blood. If there was only some way to resist…if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head.

Bella Swan shook out her long, thick, mahogany hair in my direction.

Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting him.

Bella huffed at that, like she was supposed to know that he was thinking about killing her.

There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All would soon be lost.

No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn't have to breathe.

"They don't?" Bella asked at the same time as Jacob said, "Then why have you been breathing all this time!"

I stopped the flow of air through my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, but incomplete. I still had the memory of the scent in my head, the taste of it on the back of my tongue. I wouldn't be able to resist even that for long. But perhaps I could resist for an hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims that maybe didn't have to be victims. If I could resist for one short hour.

"Yes... that would be better," Bella muttered solemnly. It still wasn't a pleasant thought.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, not breathing. My body did not need oxygen, but it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress. It led the way in the hunt, it was the first warning in case of danger. I did not often came across something as dangerous as I was, but self-preservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human.

Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling her and not sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing—

"Don't think that, you idiot," Jacob hissed.

An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste.

The silent girl kept her hair between us, leaning forward so that it spilled across her folder. I couldn't see her face, to try to read the emotions in her clear, deep eyes.

Was this why she'd let her tresses fan out between us? To hide those eyes from me? Out of fear? Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?

"I'm sure it's the last one," Bella said, rolling her eyes, momentarily not thinking about the death threat.

My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in comparison to the need—and the hate—that possessed me now. For I hated this frail woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was… Hating her, hating how she made me feel—it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I'd felt before was weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she wouldtastelike…

Hate and irritation. Impatience. Would the hour never pass?

And when the hour ended… Then she would walk out of this room. And I would do what?

I could introduce myself. Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. May I walk you to your next class?

"No... leave me alone, jerk," Jacob said. "That's what you should say."

She would say yes. It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me, as I suspected she did, she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong direction. A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I could tell her I'd forgotten a book in my car…

Would anyone notice that I was the last person she'd been seen with? It was raining, as usual; two dark raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn't pique too much interest, or give me away.

Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today—though no one was as blisteringly aware as I was. Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair—she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I'd expected before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me.

"Well, thank God for Mike, then," Jacob said.

"Only if that means that no one else has to die," Bella muttered. "If he goes back to killing everyone..."

"Right," Jacob shivered.

If I could last an hour, could I last two?

I flinched at the pain of the burning.

She would go home to an empty house. Police Chief Swan worked a full day. I knew his house, as I knew every house in the tiny town. His home was nestled right up against thick woods, with no close neighbors. Even if she had time to scream, which she would not, there would be no one to hear.

That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I'd gone seven decades without human blood. If I held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt. And no reason to rush through the experience, the monster in my head agreed.

Bella shivered at that.

It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I would be less a monster when I killed this innocent girl.

Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I would hate us both so much more when she was dead.

I made it through the hour in this way—imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the actual act. That might be too much for me; I might lose this battle and end up killing everyone in sight. So I planned strategy, and nothing more. It carried me through the hour.

Once, toward the very end, she peeked up at me through the fluid wall of her hair.

I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze—see the reflection of it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheek before she could hide in her hair again, and I was nearly undone.

"Right... looking at him is a bad thing," Bella muttered.

But the bell rang. Saved by the bell—how cliché. We were both saved. She, saved from death. I, saved for just a short time from being the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed.

I couldn't walk as slowly as I should as I darted from the room. If anyone had been looking at me, they might have suspected that there was something not right about the way I moved. No one was paying attention to me. All human thoughts still swirled around the girl who was condemned to die in little more than an hour's time.

"Well, I might have been paying attention to him, he wouldn't have known that," Bella pointed out.

I hid in my car.

I didn't like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But it was unquestionably the case now.

I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much of my efforts on not killing oneof them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I were to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat.

"No... I rather like Bella... I don't want her to die," Jacob said.

I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now. No, what helped most now was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows. Though I could remember the scent of Bella Swan's blood with perfect clarity, inhaling the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from its infection.

I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight against what I didn't want to be.

"Good... now stay away from Bella," Jacob said firmly.

I didn't have to go to her home. I didn't have to kill her. Obviously, I was a rational, thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.

It hadn't felt that way in the classroom…but I was away from her now. Perhaps, if I avoided her very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change.

"No... I don't like the sound of that," Jacob said. "One slip..."

"I get it," Bella said, her nerves on edge.

"Sorry," Jacob sighed.

"It's not really your fault, Jacob."

I had things ordered the way I liked them now. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that?

I didn't have to disappoint my father. I didn't have to cause my mother stress, worry…pain. Yes, it would hurt my adopted mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, so tender and soft. Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable.

How ironic that I'd wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of Jessica Stanley's snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me.

Bella frowned at that, again wondering why she got this book. She had feared that it was to warn her of her death at first... that seemed so likely when Edward was thinking about killing everyone... but now... Could there be a different reason? Besides, why would she be sent a book where she died in the first chapter... that wouldn't make sense... there has to be more to this. Yes, she was trying to build up her non-existent courage, but it helped her read, so who'd care.

Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn't she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn't she come to help—to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whichever?

"Heartless monsters," Jacob muttered, darkly.

Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she'd missed this much more horrific possibility? Was I stronger than I thought?

Would I really not have done anything to the girl?

No. I knew that wasn't true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard.

I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small building used for English classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar 'voice.' And I was right.

Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny.

I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time, I was glad she didn't know what I was capable of. That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour.

"I could do without that knowledge, too," Bella muttered.

I felt a new burn through my body—the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know.

If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her—even as I thought that, the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration—then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her scent…

"Seriously man, don't risk something like that," Jacob said.

There was no reason why I shouldn't try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to be what Carlisle thought I was.

The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconscious power over me. That she could make me be something I reviled.

"Like it's her freaking fault," Jacob said. "I don't think I like this guy."

Bella didn't say anything. She was afraid of the threat that he was to her, but she couldn't gauge the guy himself yet. Of course, the fear she was feeling was definitely making her lean in one direction more than the other.

I walked swiftly—a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses—across the tiny campus to the office. There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. She would be avoided like the plague she was.

"But I don't know where you are," Bella said.

The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see.

She didn't notice my silent entrance.

"Mrs. Cope?"

The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off guard, the little markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they'd seen one of us before.

"Oh," she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. Silly, she thought to herself. He's almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way…

"He's not really that young, but it's still not right to think about him that way," Jacob said.

"Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?" Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.

I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless, small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.

"Cocky jerk," Jacob said.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in the soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans.

I heard the tempo of her heart increase.

"Of course, Edward. How can I help?" Too young, too young, she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver's license, she was right.

"He thought the same thing that you did," Bella pointed out.

"Shut up," Jacob said, not liking the comparison.

"I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science? Physics, perhaps?"

"It there a problem with Mr. Banner, Edward?"

"Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material…"

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right." Her thin lips pursed as she considered this. They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test—like they've found some way to cheat in every subject.

"Hm... you would think that they would get some answers wrong so they wouldn't stand out so much," Bella muttered.

"And ruin their image of being perfect?" Jacob scoffed. "Never."

Mr. Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him… I'll bet their mother tutors them… "Actually, Edward, physics is pretty much full right now. Mr. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class—"

"I wouldn't be any trouble."

Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen.

"See... the perfect image," Jacob chuckled and Bella rolled her eyes.

"I know that, Edward. But there just aren't enough seats as it is…"

"Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study."

"Drop biology?" Her mouth fell open. That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know? There must be a problem with Mr. Banner. I wonder if I should talk to Bob about it?

"It's not a problem with Bob... it's a problem with me," Bella sighed.

"It's a problem with the bloodsucker," Jacob corrected.

"You won't have enough credits to graduate."

"I'll catch up next year."

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about that."

The door opened behind me, but whoever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mrs. Cope.

Bella shivered at that, having the feeling that he wasn't exactly right in his assessment.

I leaned slightly closer, and held my eyes a little wider. This would work better if they were gold instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should.

"What does the blackness mean?" Bella asked, already having a good idea what the answer to that would be.

"I'm not sure... but I think it means he's... thirsty," Jacob shivered, and so did Bella.

"Please, Mrs. Cope?" I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be— and it could be considerably compelling. "Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option…"

I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her, letting the expression soften my face.

Her heart drummed faster. Too young, she reminded herself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to Bob—I mean Mr. Banner. I could see if—"

A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the red-haired woman… What had been for one purpose before was now for another.

A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school.

A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me. A second was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her thoughts.

"It is you," Jacob groaned and they both tensed.

I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to control the muscles that rebelled against me.

Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman glare.

The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames.

The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again, a mask of evil.

My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope's head into her desk with enough force to kill her.

"Sick... that's just sick," Jacob mumbled.

Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.

The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it.

But there was always a choice—there had to be.

I cut off the motion of my lungs, and fixed Carlisle's face in front of my eyes. I turned back to face Mrs. Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression. She shrank away from me, but her fear did not form into coherent words.

Using all the control I'd mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice even and smooth. There was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.

"Nevermind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."

I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the girl's body as I passed within inches of it.

I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J. Garrett, notice, and then disregard…

Where did Cullen come from—it was like he just came out of thin air… There I go, with the imagination again. Mom always says…

"I'm not sure I would pass it off so easily," Jacob muttered.

When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air like I'd been suffocated.

"Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

I just shook my head at her.

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch.

Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own person demon, haunting me…

"He's got everything backwards," Jacob hissed.

I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner.

"He drives way too fast," Bella said.

"You're worried about that!" Jacob asked, astounded.

"Er..." was all she could say to that.

Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

"You're leaving?" she whispered.

"Good," Jacob said.

The others stared at me now.

"Am I?" I hissed through my teeth.

She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spun my future in a darker direction.

"Oh."

Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again…

"Heartless," Jacob muttered again.

"Oh," she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of Chief Swan's house for the first time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with the yellow cupboards, her back to me as I stalked her from the shadows…let the scent pull me toward her…

"Stop!" I groaned, not able to bear more.

"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide.

The monster rejoiced.

And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the trees beside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.

"Yeah, pick that option," Jacob muttered.

"I think he will," Bella said.

"What makes you think that?" Jacob said.

"Let me just finish this," Bella said and started to read again.

"I'll miss you," she said. "No matter how short a time you're gone."

Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance.

We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.

"Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."

I nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got out in silence; they would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.

"You will do the right thing," she murmured. Not a vision this time—an order.

"She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too."

"Yeah, it really would," Jacob said. "Your dad is always talking about you... er... at least when he talks at all, it's usually about you. Well, you or a baseball game... or basketball... or..."

"Yeah, I sound pretty high on his list," Bella rolled her eyes.

"You are," Jacob said firmly.

"Yes," I said, agreeing only with the last part.

She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around.

I accelerated back toward town, and I knew the visions in Alice's head would be flashing from dark to bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going. To say goodbye to my father? Or to embrace the monster inside me? The road flew away beneath my tires.

"That's the end of the chapter," Bella said.

"So, are you going to tell me why you're so sure he's going to leave?" Jacob asked.

"Because I don't think it's likely that whoever sent you this book and made us read it would have if I was going to die in the first chapter," Bella said. "It just doesn't make sense. Especially, after it showed him fighting this monster inside him for so long."

"He is the monster," Jacob growled.

"That's not the point," Bella said. "It just doesn't make sense that I would get this book for that reason."

"So, what's this higher meaning you think the book has?" Jacob asked.

"I don't know," Bella admitted, flustered. "But I think we should cont..."

"Bella!" Charlie called from downstairs as he made his way to her room. Soon he was knocking uselessly on the open door. "The game is over and Billy needs to get home so..."

"Right," Jacob said, trying to act normal for Charlie was looking at them suspiciously; they were more tensed than they should be. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay," Charlie said.

"So what are we going to do now?" Jacob asked.

"Obviously we're going to keep reading," Bella said.

"Yeah, it would be nice to know what happens next," Jacob said. "Where do you want to meet?"

"Charlie said that he was working tomorrow, so it would be safe to read here," Bella said.

"Yeah, except I can't get here," Jacob said. "Can't drive."

"Right," Bella said. "Then I'll come and get you... or I could read at your house."

"Either one would be okay," Jacob shrugged. "I have a garage that would give us some privacy."

"That would probably be easier," Bella said.

"Cool," Jacob said and then gave her directions to his house. "And I better take this with me," he added, picking up the book.

"Why, you don't trust me with it?" Bella asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Honestly, if someone was going to try and read this, which one of us would it be?" Jacob smirked.

"I suppose you have a point there," Bella agreed.

"I know I do," Jacob chuckled and then became more serious. "You know, it probably would have been better if we hadn't started reading this book tonight."

"Why?" Bella questioned.

"Because, I'm probably going to have nightmares now," Jacob shuddered.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Bella shuddered too. "And that suggestion isn't going to help any."

"I didn't think it would have been fair if I was the only one to have nightmares," Jacob chuckled.

"Jerk," Bella huffed, and then chuckled too.