|Ratatouille the Guardians
Author: Eliyza PM
Things are going well in france, until a government conspiracy threaten the lives of Linguini and Colette, and only an agent sent to protect them can stop it.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,980 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 06-14-10 - Published: 03-26-10 - id: 5846070
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
It was 10:PM, Shift was over.
It was go time, and I wasnt intending on messin up this time...Heheh, even if I had to break a few strings to do it.
As Colette folded up her chef uniform and placed it gently in her side pack, I quietly positioned myself outside of the restaurant. I listened to the door creaking open as she started walking down the sidewalk, which I had to say, was VERY nice looking...
I couldn't follow her in my car, that would be stupid and obvious, so I decided to follow her at a steady pace on foot.
Hoping my heavy breathing wouldnt give me away, I maintained a nice 20 feet behind her, hopefully it was dark enough that she wouldn't recognize me.
Then she headed towards her motorbike...This was bad, as I mean, im pretty darn fast...But...You gotta be kidding me she had a motorbike?
She started it up and tried to get it going.
I waited, holding my breath..."Please break down.." I hoped, so badly. She started it up again...Nothing.
I could hear her swearing in french...Was pretty funny...Until of course it started up and the engine was purring...Well good things dont last forever huh?
I had to follow her and fast. Frantically, I looked around, saw a car...And yes, THAT popped into my mind.
As she sped off, I quickly ran up to the nice looking blue Ferrari that was pretty much saying "Oh motakai dont you want me? Im just your size, please take me away" And then pulled out a long, steel pronged rod that was rougly 4 inches long...
A lockpick, yeah I carry that stuff around.
First time, it didnt work, I missed the lock, and I started sweating as she got further down the road.
Second time, I didnt get it...and then the alarm went off...
"CRAP!" I fumbled with the lockpick as the car blared off the alarm, making an annoying "WEEEEEEEEEEEH WEEEEEEEEEEEH" I managed to get it the third time with a satisfying click and opened the door..
Just as the owner came running out of the restaurant "Hey thats my car!" I saw him running down the street, this wasnt good.
"Dont worry Im just borrowing it!" I tried to assure the guy as i sped down the road after Collete..
Okay so im not the smoothest guy out there...But hey, i get the job done...Even if its not the most...Never mind.
Driving down the road at 60 mph while my car is blaring the alarm totally didnt attract attention, especially after I just ran 3 red lights and almost an old lady to get closer to my target.
Any remnant of stealth and being quiet was totally obliterated as my car came screaming behind Collete's motorbike -who was panicking as she saw me approach- was totally gone. It was hilarious, she had the most priceless expression as I totally blew the next red light, and was slowly gaining on her.
She sped up. I expected this and went to 65MPH, we made a really sharp turn, and then another, I think she was trying to lose me, but dont worry, Im a good driver...
After 30 minutes of this craziness, Colette finally thought she lost me, and resumed driving in a normal fashion...Even though I was still closely trailing her on the other lane...Hahahahaha.
She stopped at what I guessed was her house, judging from the address. It was a pretty nice looking house, had 2 levels, and a VERY nice door which had a cool looking doorknob...All this I scanned in a manner of seconds.
As she dismounted her bike, I could see her remove her walking towards the door...Now it was just a matter of time...
My cell rang, obviously my boss was calling so I picked up..."So, how goes the assignment, anything happen yet?" He sounded pretty skeptical..
"Oh pshh, nah, its pretty smooth, fine and dandy, I'm at her house right now.." I trailed off, looking at the door shut as she entered the house. "Well, I've heard reports of a car jacking, some SERIOUS problems on the road, and I KNOW that was you, so please, were not trying to scare her to death, keep it clean."
I tried to suppress a grin, "Will do mr tight pants."
"Whatever, well besides that, did you happen to see any suspicious activity?"
"No, I was too busy trying to run her over."
"Not funny, well, anyways, keep your eyes peeled, who knows if anything will happen tonight." I heard the click as he hung up. It had to be smooth sailing from here.
Getting out of the recently disowned Ferrari that I will totally give back once I'm done with it, I approached the doorstep of her house, and rung it twice...Maybe she wouldn't recognize me as that one stalker dude who chased her home...
I could hear quiet footsteps, and then a creak as the door opened a crack, and I could see her, wearing an unbuttoned sweater and the same khaki pants.
"Hello-WAHHH!" Her expression was priceless, I think she was in shock, because when I asked her if she was okay, she simply stared..."Uh...so...happy to see me I presume?"
"Why are you following me?" She was yelling at me so loudly, I think the neighbors could hear...This wasn't the way I wanted that to go...
"Im totally not following I just happen to have the same street address, and uh that car is totally mine," Collete narrowed her eyes,
"Yes you were following me I saw you chasing me down the road like a psycho going over 80 miles an hour, you ran 4 red lights you know.." She trailed off...Stared at my blue Ferrari, "Is that yours?"
I glanced back, "Uh yeah, totally," She shook her head, "Well alright, since you went through all that trouble following me, what do you want?" She was calmer then before, a good sign, I relaxed.
"Well, A picture of you thats what" She obviously took this the wrong way and blushed, "Wait, what...Are you hitting on me?" She asked quietly.
This was unexpected, "Huh? Oh dude nooo your ugly as hell-"
"Wait no, no your actually really pretty man, I just want a picture, yeah..."
Collete tilted her head to my response, obviously confused.
"...So you want a picture of me, because you think im pretty...?" She was taking this completely the wrong way..."Uh, not exactly, but sure if that makes you feel better."
There was dead silence as I could see her neighbors staring at us, we were obviously talking pretty loudly...
"Do you want to go inside?" She tugged on my arm, "Its hard to talk with people outside," I nodded, "Cool lets go". She pulled me through the door and shut it.
Inside the room smelled like food, fresh...Food, whatever the hell food it was, it was great...
"Your crib is pretty sweet," I remarked, Collete didn't respond, she merely stood by the door, watching me look at random stuff...Then I saw it..
"Dude is that an XBOX?" I totally freaked out and ran for the controller.
"Hey! dont touch that!" She quickly ran over and hastily put it back on the shelf, "Its not mine its-"
"Totally yours?" I smirked as she gave a resigned sigh.."So...What games do you have...Call of duty...Halo...Hmm...Oooo is that Borderlands?"
Collete groaned in frustration as I quickly went through her pitifully small reservoir of games, which was as I counted it, 3...
"You dont play a lot do you?" Collete's eyes lighted up, "Only when I can, I have other things to do besides games..." She strode over to the couch and sat on it.
"So why are you here?" She asked, the question was friendly enough so I responded, "Well, like I said, I need a picture of you."
I stared at one of her antiques..."Well, its sort of complicated," As I took a seat on another couch, "I need your picture for some uh...Official reasons..." She narrowed her eyes, "You dont seem like an official of any sort,"
I smirked, "Well you wouldn't believe you if I told you, but I work for the government."
Much to my amusement, she laughed, "Of course, you dont like the type who could do much anyways," She smiled, "Alright, Ill give you a picture, but only on the condition that if you ever ask this again, Im going to kill you, okay?"
The last part wasnt funny, but I agreed anyways, glad she was cooperating so easily.
I snapped a picture of her, which was nice enough, she wasnt knocked out, or bleeding out over anything, so as long as her eyes were open and she looked fine, the picture was valid."
I examined the picture, this was the first time I had actually examined her features before, as I was always too busy stressing out over what the hell i should say...
She was brown haired like most French girls, and her eyes were chocolate like most French...Nothing out of the ordinary...But there was just something about her...Hmm...It was so weird...She looked a little young to be a chef too...
"So uh, how old are you?" Not looking from the photo. She was startled by the question, "Well no ones really asked me that in a while, but I'm 18." My jaw fell about 2 feet in surprise.
That was enough to send chills up my spine...She was a chef and she was 18, thats crazy..."
"What, are you okay?" I stood up, and then looked at her, "Yeah, uh, totally...Its just funny, I dont know why..." She cocked an eyebrow, "How is that funny?" She asked.
"I dont know I have bad taste in humor," She quietly laughed at that response, much to my surprise.
It was much easier to talk to her after that, and she was more willing to smile at my "Did you know that milk is a complete food?" kind of stuff..
Well, needless to say, Im not going to tell you what happened next, because it consisted of me doing a 30 minute montage of stupid ass fun facts.
Once I was done, and realizing I was out of those jokes, I got up towards the door.
"Your leaving?" She asked.
"Uh, yeah, its getting late, see ya man." She nodded, "Alright, I will see you tomorrow, nice meeting you" In A much warmer tone then when I had stalked her to the doorway.
As I left, I checked the photo to make sure I still had it.
There it was, and I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but there was something about that picture...Maybe she was hot? PSHH HAHAHA! no way that could be...
Either way, I still had more work to do.