*~*Before You Were Famous*~*

By Forbidden Twilighter, now, CynicalDreamerC

Chapter 19: What I'm Living For

I've waited a hundred years,

But I'd wait a million more for you.

Nothing prepared me for,

What the privilege of being yours would do...

...

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch.

If I had only seen how you smile when you blush.

Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough.

I would have known what I was living for all along…

What I've been living for.

...

I'm awoken the next morning by soft whispers of kisses on my shoulder.

A smile automatically curls its way up my lips, and I let my face burrow into the sweet smelling pillow beneath me. I breathe in deep, letting out a sigh of contentment when lips brush against a sweet spot on the nape of my neck.

"Good morning," the voice rumbles, deep and low and throaty against my back. I hum back in response, tilting my neck a little so he has more access.

His slow kisses become long, open-mouthed passionate ones, and my body burns like I'm sat in front of a roaring fire. I hold back the groan that threatens to spill out of my throat, all the while feeling my lips tingle in envy at the attention my neck is receiving.

His hand slips over my side to grasp mine; he entwines our fingers and lays our hands on my stomach. Butterflies form in response sending flutters of pleasure throughout my system. I flush and shiver, nervous but needy.

He's wrapped around the back of me, and the duvet of the bed is settled firmly around us both. We're in our own cocoon – our own bubble, and I know I never want to leave. I know I must at some point, but right now, right now, I enjoy it for what it is.

Snuggled in bed with the boy I love.

I shut my eyes when they start to sting, and squeeze his hand. "I'm so happy," I whisper to him. "I don't remember the last time I was this happy."

His lips still on my neck, and I can feel them curl up against my skin. "Me neither," Leaning over and kissing my cheek softly. "Let's make a habit of being happy more often, yeah?"

I nod yes, curling tighter and closer to him. I think I'll always be happy as long as he's with me.

"Stay," I whisper. "Stay with me."

He turns my head to face him gently, and I open my eyes. His are soft and open, vulnerable and kind, and sparkling with a distinct happiness marring his features. He kisses my forehead before asking, "For how long?"

I pretend to think about it, and he mock pouts at me, causing me to burst into a fit of giggles. He tries to keep his composure but he keeps slipping, until eventually he just gives in and laughs along with me.

He taps my nose.

"We'll start with forever," I whisper, and then immediately flush afterwards, feeling like it was a foolish thing to say. But he cups my chin, and his eyes swirl with emotion, and I know it wasn't. He thumbs my burning cheek, and before leaning down to finally, finally kiss me, he breathes;

"No measure of time with you will be long enough."

And then his lips are on mine, and I'm just basking in that forever we've been granted, because he's right. Time and all its restrictions and pains, all its ending and finiteness… will run out long before we do.

Edward's hand runs up my side, sparking electricity within me. I buzz like I'm caught up in an electrical storm. "Let's just stay here all day," He sighs dreamily into my mouth and I laugh, shaking against him.

I shake my head, pushing back the strands of hair that fall over into his eyes. "What?" I ask. "You don't want any breakfast?" As if on cue, his stomach grumbles. I giggle.

He rolls his eyes at his overeager stomach, and then starts pushing the hair away from my face as I did him, absentmindedly. "I am hungry," he says airily, stroking the shell of my ear. I shudder at the slight touch and watch as his eyes darken. "But not for food." He finishes, voice a rumble in his chest as he leans down to try and capture my lips again, but I push up against his chest, flushing.

"You're incorrigible!" I laugh.

He looms over me, leaning on his elbow. "And you wouldn't have it any other way." He grins and with a chaste peck on my nose, hops up out of the bed.

I hold in a groan at his missing heat, but nonetheless sit up and begin to get out of the bed. He's next to me in a flash. "No, no," he argues, pushing me back down. "I meant what I said, about staying in the bed all day, you know. Women just don't ever listen to what their poor men say to them." He teases, shaking his head sadly for effect.

"That's because what they're saying usually isn't worth listening to," I rebuke, grinning.

He mock gasps, holding his hand to his chest and stumbling back, as if hit by a physical blow. I watch him amusedly. "And I was going to make you Turkish breakfast!" He wails dramatically. "Well… try to, at least."

My eyes widen, and I bite my lip. Turkish breakfast. We used to make that all the time, and he was surprisingly apt at cooking it. I hadn't eaten it in years because it reminded me of him… but now… now it doesn't need to hurt to think about it, because he's here, in the flesh, and he promised to stay with me. Not leave me like I left him. My heart gives a painful tug at the memory.

I shake my head slightly, trying to clear my thoughts. "You think you can handle that, Ted?" I tease.

His eyes light up at the old nickname, the green sparkling like an emerald out in the sun. He drops to his knees, and crawls over to me. He tucks the duvet in around me and kisses my cheek. "Anything for my sweet pea." He replies, sugar and sweet, and I fight against the swoon that threatens to fall upon me.

He kisses me slow and sweet and soft-like then, and I'm melted butter under his fiery, tender touch. He pulls away slightly and rests his cheek on mine for a moment, and we close our eyes, simply revelling in the sensation of being able to be close once more.

He breathes out shakily against my cheek before tearing himself away from me. "Breakfast," He states, running his hand through his hair and staring at me.

I relax back into the warm bed, burying my face into his pillow and sighing. "I'll be waiting." I reply, closing my eyes and smiling.

I sense him in the room still after a few moments of silence, so I open my eyes. I jolt back in surprise, because he's much closer than he was before. He's kneeling on the floor beside me, hands folded underneath his chin that rests on the mattress. His eyes trace the contours of my face before coming readily to rest upon my eyes. "What?" I ask, flushing and nervously biting my lip.

He tugs my lip from out of my teeth, and runs his thumb over the sensitive skin. "You're so beautiful," He near whispers, and I feel the flush spreading to my chest. "And entirely too tempting."

I groan, pushing my head deeper into the pillow.

He laughs quietly beside me, his hand moving to my hair. "I'm embarrassing you," he says, not a question. I nod mournfully into his pillow, causing him to chuckle louder. He brings his face closer to mine, the tip of his nose brushing my burning cheek. "You better get used to it, sweet thing."

"Oh," I groan out, exasperated. "Go and make me my breakfast!"

He sniggers, kissing my cheek once before snapping up, and standing tall and erect. He mock salutes and bows deeply before leaving the room.

…

I'm dozing when he comes back in later on. "Bella," he whispers lowly into my ear, his nose tickling the shell. I mumble back and sleepily slap his face away. The vibrations on my skin let me know he's chuckling. "No?" Sigh. "I guess I'll just have to eat this all by myself then…"

My eyes pull open. "Nooo," I whine, struggling to wipe away the fog that's formed. "Sharing is caring," I half mumble, half yawn into the pillow.

I hear a plate being set down and then I'm being rolled over from my side and onto my back. I hum sleepily as he presses his forehead against mine, his arms on either side of me. My eyes are still closed, and a smile flits across my lips in my almost-slumber. "You gotta wake up if you wanna share with me, sweetness." He says softly, nudging my nose with his. I continue to lay there, not wanting to move or wake up, too comfortable within the sheets and the body of warmth hovering over mine, the sweet smell of the pillow beneath me and the assurance that everything is… right.

"No," I sigh happily, my lips curling up.

It's quiet for a moment, where we just breathe in each other's air. But then I feel his lips press against my own, and my eyes shoot open. His are closed, eyelashes a flutter against his cheek. I shut mine again, though I'm unable to be anything other than fully awake now. He pushes his bottom lip between both of mine, taking my top lip in his mouth, and sucking on it softly like it's a sweet lollipop. My eyes roll back and I just about manage to hold back the moan that bubbles within my throat. My mouth unwillingly parts, which is when he pulls away to breathe in my ear; "Taste… Bella."

I manage to sigh out a breathy, oh, before his lips are back on mine, and his bottom lip is pushed between mine again. Shakily, I do as he asked, and gently drag his lip deeper into my mouth with my teeth and suck his cherry red lip and… taste.

I can't hold back this time, and I do moan, because he tastes like Edward, he tastes like mint and cinnamon, and he tastes like the scrambled egg and olive and Turkish sausage he's just made.

He's delicious.

My body floods with heat, blood boils underneath my skin and goose bumps erupt and rise in the opposite of a domino effect, all over my body. I gasp, and my arms shoot up to wrap around Edward's neck. My fingertips drag and pull over the smooth, hot flesh, before they creep up into his mass of hair, where they tangle in the roots.

He seems surprised, because he grunts softly against my mouth and when I move one hand down his shoulder and to his back, I feel the muscles bunched and tense underneath his t-shirt, but I can't stop, fire and flame have taken a hold of my senses and are forcing me to burn out my passion in some way – in this way. His body may be stiff against mine, but his mouth is yielding and as eager participant as mine is.

I push my hand through his hair and tug on it to pull him closer. His groan is long and drawn-out, and it makes my lips tingle in the best way. He pulls away with a gasp when we need to breathe, but his mouth doesn't leave my skin, instead it just continues a hot path down the soft skin of my neck. My eyes are tightly shut, my lip caught between my teeth and I think I'm going to burn alive.

His teeth catch gently on my neck, his hand moving suddenly from my side to slip underneath my head, down my neck and then underneath my shirt to settle on the very top of my back. I arch against him, and his hand slips further down my spine to hold me up. His naked skin is on mine, and the fire is so much more saturated. I feel like he's branding me, like they'll be a physical imprint of his hand on my back.

"Baby…" he whispers hoarsely against my neck. "We…" panting, breathless, kiss. "…should stop."

I shake my head in protest, clutching him closer to me. He doesn't seem to follow his own words either, because his lips move to the pulse point in my neck, where he proceeds to suck the skin into his mouth, gently at first and slowly, as if testing my reaction, but when I press closer to him and tug his head harder, he becomes more assertive and sure, and sucks harder for longer.

I groan deep in my throat, and his palm tickles my back, his fingers touching my flesh lightly. I squirm where I lie, suddenly too hot within the duvet. "Edward…" I breathe, throwing my head back into the pillow behind me.

He suddenly stills. His hand on my back stops its gentle pressure and his lips detach themselves from my neck. His warmth rapidly disappears from my body, though it still burns in the pit of my belly. My eyes flutter open slowly, my breathing coming out in pants that I try to slow. I turn my head on the pillow and see Edward sitting on the very edge of the bed, facing away from me and hunched over with his head in his hands, his back rising rapidly with his quick breaths.

I lick my lips and taste him, and, sitting up, "Edward?" I ask, reaching out to touch his shoulder. He flinches when my hand reaches him, and my heart drops. I retract my hand quickly. "Edward?" I ask again, my voice small and timid and hurt. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he says, mournfully, his voice muffled by his palm. He doesn't turn.

"Sorry?" I repeat, bewildered. "Why?"

"I just…" he starts to say, his voice small. "…attacked you," he finishes.

I gape at his back, and wiggle quickly out of the duvet I'm tucked in tight under. I quickly make my way to his side and sit next to him. I pull his hands away from his face, but I can't get him to look at me. "You did no such thing," I say to him, crossly. I take his face between my hands and turn him to face me.

He sighs, cover my hands with his. "I'm sorry." He repeats.

"I'm not," I reply quickly, and his eyes dart to mine for a minute before moving away again, unsure. I pull his face closer and speak in a quiet tone to him. "That was amazing," I can feel my cheeks burn in remembrance.

His eyes come back to me and settle on where I'm rose-like. He gawps at my cheeks and his hands tighten around mine. "Really?" He asks, voice both hesitant and hopeful. "You're not… mad at me? I didn't – didn't hurt you?"

I let out a breathless laugh. "Really. I'm not mad at you and you didn't hurt me. Uh… the opposite actually…"

His eyebrows shoot up high into his forehead as he eyes my wild hair, flushed cheeks and swollen lips. A flash of recognition and recollection shoots across his irises and his eyes darken, his black lashes tangled together over suddenly hooded lids. He licks his lips, and I wonder if he tastes me as I had tasted him. "You said my name," he breathes.

I swallow over a dry throat. "Mmhmm."

He cups my hot cheek and we stare silently into each other's eyes for a moment; remembering.

My stomach rumbling breaks the tension and my hand flies to my belly in embarrassment. Edward chuckles, eyes twinkling, and turns slightly, reaching over to the bedside table. His shirt rides up and the sliver of taut pale skin that peeks out from beneath his shirt has me enraptured.

He turns back to me and I quickly move my eyes back up to his face. He presents me with a plate overflowing with food. He sets it in my lap, and I stare down at the scrambled egg mixed with Turkish sausage, the cucumbers, tomatoes and goat's cheese piled on top of multiple pieces of thick – buttered and toasted – white bread. A collection of mushrooms and green olives sit side-by-side, next to more toasted bread, these pieces slathered with jam.

I stare down at the little buffet hungrily, my mouth practically watering. I look up at him and he smiles proudly at me. "Look good?" He asks, his eyes seeking approval in mine.

"It's perfect," I reply sincerely, grinning at him.

He reaches back over to the table, grabbing cutlery and a cup. "And…" he trails off as he looks at me, eyes excited. "…cranberry juice!"

I practically squeal and jump out of my seat. "You remembered!"

"Of course I did," He replies softly.

I reach out and grasp his hand.

"Thank you so much, Edward… everything is just… it's perfect. You're perfect." I look down toward his hand and trace the lines in his palm. "I really missed you. And it's – it's like I'm really able to appreciate you so much more now… and our time together, because I – I…" I sigh. "I know what it's like to live without you." His hand curls around mine, and his finger tips up my chin so my eyes meet his. "I didn't like it." I whisper. "Not knowing – not having you around."

His eyes swirl, and the green turns a million different shades. "You never have to feel that way again," He says softly. "I'll follow you wherever you go."

I blink back tears and he cups my face, bringing my forehead to rest on his. He sighs against my skin, and I breathe in his air. "I can't stop touching you," He admits. "Your skin… it's like a drug to me. It makes me feel calm; it lets me know that you're really here, that you're really safe – with me."

"I feel the same," I confess in a whisper. "You make me feel safe."

After a little while, he pulls away. I open my eyes when he tucks my hair behind my ear. He smiles and then, "You should eat that before it gets cold."

I look down at the food in my lap, and my hunger makes itself known again. Steam still rises form the hot food and I lick my lips. I reach for the fork on the bedspread but he quickly snatches it up before I can pick it up. I stare at him with a raised brow.

He raises one back and says, "Let me feed you."

I bite my lip, my eyes widen and, stubbornly I say, "I can feed myself."

He chuckles at me, and I find myself smiling in return. "I know that," He grins. "I just want to take care of you," He piles up some egg and sausage on the fork. "Let me," He says softly, eyes burning seductively.

I'm swayed immediately. "If you insist…"

"I do," he insists. "Say ah..."

I open my mouth and he slides the fork in easily, my eyes near roll back into my head at the taste. "God, Edward," I practically moan. "This is fantastic."

He hums back at me, and my eyes pop open, unaware I'd even closed them in the first place. His eyes are dark and focused on my lips. "Yeah," he says, and his voice his husky. He quickly clears his throat and shakes his head slightly. I stifle a giggle.

"You think you can handle it, Ted?" I repeat my sentiments from earlier cheekily, smiling wide.

He drops the fork and picks up an olive this time, sliding it between my lips. His own part. "Anything for my sweet pea," He replies, smirking wickedly at me.

I swallow, my eyes widen, and I wonder if I've bitten off more than I can chew.

...

Your love is my turning page,

Where only the sweetest words remain.

Every kiss is a cursive line.

Every touch is a redefining phrase.

I surrender who I've been for who you are,

Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.

If I had only felt how it feels to be yours

Oh I would've known what I've been living for

What I've been living for…

"Turning Page" by "Sleeping At Last"

...

A/N:

Bella and Edward sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G… ;)

So it turns out I lied last chapter. I did make you wait four months before an update… *rubs neck sheepishly* I'm an unreliable, terrible, terrible person. That's what we're all thinking, am I right?

Here's hoping this chapter sorta-kinda made up for the super long wait. Aren't they happy and horny and cute? I thought so…

By the way, Turkish breakfast is a real thing, in case you're skeptical. My step-dad is Turkish, and he makes this breakfast every weekend. (I also did an Eddie C and googled it to make sure he wasn't lying or anything…)

Favourite lines/parts? I may have stole a few quotes from Breaking Dawn and um, Twilight…

If there are any kind souls out there that haven't flounced yet - thanks for reading! ;)