Author: Curiositykils PM
My collection of Draco/Hermione oneshots. K to M rated as suitable and shown at the top of every chapter. Collection Complete. Check out Meus Contraho Duo for more oneshots!Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance/Angst - Draco M. & Hermione G. - Chapters: 51 - Words: 215,616 - Reviews: 1,537 - Favs: 861 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 10-20-12 - Published: 04-07-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5877188
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Hermioneeee." came a whiny noise from upstairs.
Hermione sighed at the sound before ignoring the cry and sticking her head back into her Floo call.
When her name was called out again not thirty seconds later, she finally conceded. Saying a quick see you later to the recipient of her floo call, she got up off her knees and brushed out the wrinkles from her dress before moving back into the kitchen.
Grabbing the necessary materials to carry out her plan, she jogged up the stairs and into the bedroom which she shared with her boyfriend of seven months.
Said boyfriend was currently lying under the duvet, arms clutched dramatically against his stomach as he huffed about in pain.
Forcing the smirk off her face, Hermione stepped towards him. Placing the medicine bottle on the side table, she reached out to where he lay with eyes tightly shut.
"Oh poor Draco. You're burning up." She said as she placed a hand on his sweaty forehead.
She got a whine as an answer.
Hearing the sound, Hermione smiled and decided to crank up her plan. Pulling back the covers that were enveloping him, she started removing his loose black T-shirt. "Come on honey. Let's get you out of these clothes. It might cool you down."
Moving quicker and with more precision that the deathly ill man he was claiming to be, Draco pulled the T-shirt over his head and wriggled out of his jeans.
Seeing Hermione's eyebrow raised in suspicion, he gave a feeble cough and waited with baited breath for her reaction.
Hermione knew she could have caught him out but he definitely hadn't been tortured enough and so instead of prematurely exposing him for the lying Slytherin that he was, she decided to let him carry on with his little game.
Fluffing up his pillow, she moved him into an upright position.
Pouting down at him with a fake sad face, she kissed his forehead.
"My poor baby. I have just the thing to make you feel better." She said, her voice laced with innuendo.
Draco's eyes popped open and he eagerly waited for what she had planned for him. He was disappointed when instead of getting in bed with him, she moved away and started fiddling with something on her bedside table.
"Now close your eyes." Hermione said. Turning her head and looking at Draco in bed, she gave him a little saucy wink so he would comply.
His eyes shut immediately causing Hermione to smile widely before she uncapped the medicine bottle and poured a large dollop of the thick Muggle medicine onto the spoon.
"Open your mouth for me." She said huskily as she moved closer to him on the bed.
Draco's mouth dropped open in shock at her words rather than at him obeying her command. In the last seven months he'd seen just how kinky the once virginal Gryffindor princess was in bed. From the sound of her words it seemed like she had something new to try out and he was always happy to indulge her.
He mentally congratulated himself. He was so shaggable it seemed that Hermione couldn't keep her hands off him, despite him being sick.
Hermione could just imagine at what her smarmy bastard was currently thinking. Without giving him any warning she jammed the spoon into his mouth.
Draco's eyes popped open as his jaw automatically closed around the spoon she had just let go of. A millisecond later, the taste of something acrid hit his tongue and he spat the substance out, spluttering all the while. The mess landed on the bedcovers in front of him and he jumped off the bed in a bid to get away from the disgusting slime.
"What the hell woman! Are you trying to poison me? I'm already ill. Merlin's saggy balls." He yelled as he wiped his tongue with his discarded T-shirt.
Hermione watched her boyfriend with a smug expression on her face. Even though they both knew his game was up, she still wasn't quite ready to let him off so easily.
"Oh Draco, honestly. It's just some Muggle medicine whilst the Pepper Up potion brews." She moved towards him and after a quick swish and flick of his wand to clean the mess he'd made, she pushed him back down onto the bed.
Draco froze momentarily at her actions before realizing he may still be in with a chance to get out of tonight. Merlin, Gryffindor's really were a blind, gullible bunch weren't they? First Potter and Weasley didn't even notice he'd been creeping into their house for three months and spending the night fucking their roommate senseless and now Granger still believed he was on his death bed?
Oh well, he wasn't complaining. In fact, he was thoroughly enjoying having her undivided attention.
"I've got some vapour rub downstairs. Why don't you get comfortable and I can give you a nice long massage. I'm sure it'll help with any joint pain. I always get the most terrible back aches when I have a cold."
Draco felt like Christmas had come early. Eagerly nodding his head in agreement before catching himself and giving a whine of pain, he flipped onto his stomach and waited for his witch to begin his massage.
Merlin be praised for those wonderful little hands.
Hermione muffled her snigger before hurrying down the stairs. Walking into the kitchen she saw her "Wizard mother" charming the kettle to boil some water for tea.
"He's upstairs." Hermione whispered. "I told him I'd give him a back massage with some vapour rub."
The woman smiled before taking off her red woolly cardigan. Grabbing the small bottle of rub from Hermione, she made her way upstairs.
Hermione watched her go, debating on whether or not she should follow. She desperately wanted to see Draco's face when he realised what was going on but she knew that she would probably end up bursting into hysterical laughter before Draco realised anything strange was occurring.
Balancing out the pros and cons in her head, she quickly moved up the stairs stealthily.
Draco had his head buried in his pillow when he felt the bed dip slightly from behind him. Lips stretching into a wide smile, he relaxed his muscles in preparation for his massage. He heard her unscrew the lid of her eucalyptus smelling pot and felt a dollop of the viscous material land on his back.
He knew something was wrong as soon as her hands started his massage. He yelped at the feeling of the large wrinkled hands and when he turned his head, his gaze fell on the red haired matriarch of the Weasley family.
Screaming and recoiling in shock, he quickly sat up and pushed himself backwards. The covers dropped to dangerous levels around his hips and Draco snatched them up until they covered him up to his throat.
"What in Merlin's name is going on?" he demanded as his eyes searched the room for Hermione.
"Oh Draco dear, Hermione called me over. She said you weren't feeling too well. Don't worry dear; I've looked after my fair share of ill men. You're in good hands." Mrs Weasley replied.
Draco spluttered before grabbing his jeans off the floor and sliding into them whilst making sure he stayed under the covers.
"Now Draco, there's no need to be shy." Mrs Weasley smiled. "With one bathroom at the Burrow and up to eight men living there at one time, there have been plenty of accidents in the morning."
Draco shook his head vainly in an attempt to get rid of the picture she was painting and loudly yelled out for Hermione. Ugh, naked Weasley's! He was mentally scarred for life!
Hermione, who had been waiting outside the room holding her breath, forced her face into a calm mask before stepping into the bedroom. "Yes Draco?" she said calmly.
"What is going on?" he whispered furiously.
Hermione ignored him and turned to face Mrs Weasley. "Why don't you go and check on our tea Molly. I'll be down in a minute."
Hermione shared a satisfactory smile with the older woman as she walked out of the room before turning her head back to her deceiving boyfriend. "You really should have let Molly rub that vapour rub on your back Draco. It really would have helped with the pain." She said as she openly eyed his form. "Although it doesn't seem like you need it anymore." She finished as she looked at him pointedly.
Draco knew he had been rumbled and put an ashamed I'm sorry look on his face. Unfortunately, he'd chosen to fall in love with the one witch in the Wizarding world that was apparently immune to his charms.
Hermione simply raised a single eyebrow and looked at him condescendingly. "I suggest you hop in the shower and get dressed. You've only got 30 minutes before we have to apparate to my parent's house for dinner and it might be best if we're not late since it's the first time you're meeting them. If you'll excuse me, I think I might go and inform Molly on your miraculous recovery and thank her for her healing hands."
Draco watched Hermione saunter out of the room. Merlin, she was bloody hot when she got all sarcastically intelligent on him. As he grabbed a fresh towel, Draco realised he wouldn't want her any other way.
Even if it meant he could get out of meeting the future in laws for dinner.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading and until next time, Curiositykils