|Maybe Someday, Maybe Forever
Author: insaneantics21 PM
The continuation of Quinn's quest to capture Rachel's heart.Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Romance - Quinn F. & Rachel B. - Chapters: 33 - Words: 72,076 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 553 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 04-23-10 - Published: 04-18-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5907985
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's Note: I was pretty psyched about this when I first started writing it (back in December) but then EVERYONE started writing stories with similar plots and then I got less and less excited about it which I think is why it took me so damn long to finish it. Chances are you've read several stories that are extremely similar to this so I apologize for the redundancy. Please don't rip me apart for it.
Also, I began writing this before we knew anything about the Back 9 so Jesse St. James does not exist.
I'm aware that I posted this part already but it's been in December and I wanted to make sure that it was read before everyone moved onto Chapter 1. It's the prologue and if you hadn't read it then jumped into the story then you would've been thoroughly confused for a few chapters. Feel free to skip it if you already read it.
Quinn Fabray couldn't help but look at Rachel Berry when they were performing. She didn't look at her with hate or jealousy or even a hint of dislike. She looked at her with longing. Longing and love and need. She usually ended up crying by the end of the song. One good thing about the pregnancy was that she could blame the hormones on her sporadic tears. It had never been never the hormones, though.
She couldn't blame hormones on being fourteen years old at a sleepover and accepting the dare to kiss Rachel. She couldn't blame the hormones when she felt the strongest tug at her heart she'd ever felt when Rachel's lips touched hers. She couldn't blame the hormones when she cried almost every single day since then because all she wanted to do was kiss the brunette again.
She joined the Cheerios to try and fill the void. She started dating the quarterback of the football team to have someone to kiss. She got drunk and had sex with Puck because nothing else was working. She accepted Coach Sylvester's mission to destroy glee club only to get closer to the object of her affection.
Quinn's definition of affection was relatable to the boy who stuck gum in the girl's hair in elementary school because he liked her except Quinn was ten times worse. She insulted and yelled at Rachel incessantly to suppress the constant urge to tell the brunette that she was head over heels, undeniably, completely and totally in love with her. It was getting more difficult to do. Rachel was just too damn nice.
It got beyond the point of Quinn wanting to tell her. When she joined glee it progressed rapidly from wanting to needing. She had to tell her. She waited after glee practice and caught her. She pulled Rachel to the corner of the room farthest from any doors or possibility of escape. Rachel looked up at her. Those dark brown eyes melted Quinn's heart. She could tell Rachel was scared. She hated that look. Loathed it. Quinn knew she was the reason for it and it absolutely ripped her apart. Knowing that she had instilled that much fear in the diva was enough to make her want to fall off the face of the Earth at that moment.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Rachel."
Rachel just continued looking up and staring.
"Would you feel better if I sat down? Maybe a little less scary?"
Quinn grabbed a chair and sat down, Rachel did the same.
"Is this a set up for something? Am I going to get slushie dumped all over me?"
"No…I…I just wanted to talk to you."
Quinn smiled a little at Rachel's curious look. The blonde took a deep breath. This was it. She had to do it.
"I'mkindofinlovewithyouandIdon'." Her confession sounded like it was in a foreign language even to herself.
"Wh-what? Were you even speaking English?"
Quinn sighed. "I said that I'm in love with you. I don't know how it happened but I just had to tell you."
Quinn tried to decipher Rachel's reaction to her confession but the expression on the singer's face was just blank.
"Say something, Rachel…please."
Rachel stood. Her blank face turned to one Quinn hadn't ever seen. It was this horrible, horrible mix of disappointment, anger, and pure hurt. "You've tortured me every single day since freshman year, Quinn! You've insulted me and ruined I don't know how many of my outfits…and now you tell me that you're in love with me?!"
"I'm so sorry…"
"How do I know that? You've either been lying to me for the last two minutes or lying to me for two years."
"No. You don't get to talk, I get to talk. You've made my life a living hell, Quinn Fabray. I tried, I really tried to give you chances and you've done nothing but turn around and disappoint me."
Quinn honestly wanted to crawl under a rock and just die. Seeing the look on Rachel's face along with the words the brunette spoke it hit Quinn for the first time just what she'd put the girl through.
"So let's assume that what you're saying to me right now is true. You're in love with me. Not only is there no way I could or would ever return those feelings, I'm pretty sure I feel the exact opposite. I stick up for you and I am civil to you for the sake of glee club and because I don't want to be like you. I don't want people to feel how you've made me feel."
Quinn did nothing but stare at the floor and cry. She deserved everything Rachel said. When she did finally look up, Rachel was looking at her. There was a hint of sorrow in her eyes; almost regret for what she had said to the cheerleader. Almost.
"I just couldn't hide it anymore. It was killing me, Rachel."
"I'm sorry Quinn but I can only forgive so much. I'll still be civil to you and I'll do what I think is right if a situation arises that involves you and your dignity but I don't ever see myself coming anywhere close to feeling about you how you claim to feel about me."
Quinn nodded. "I understand," she whispered.
Rachel picked up her bag and left Quinn in the choir room alone, crying.
Quinn stopped throwing insults at Rachel. She yelled at anyone that went near the brunette with a slushie in hand. She still stared at Rachel when she sang. Rachel would glance at her briefly every now and then. Quinn knew that Rachel was wondering when it would end; when Quinn would stop being nice and go back to terrorizing her. Quinn didn't. She was determined not to. She thought maybe if she tried harder to change then Rachel would love her someday. Maybe someday.