everlasting/undying love

Lady/Woman in Red

a red rose (single or the full dozen - or more?!)

little red hearts on someone's clothing/article of clothing

ear nibbling

Madame Pomfrey's OR Severus Snape's potion for unrequited love

Someone must sashay into the room/hall/classroom/...dungeon?!?!

Snape must be referred to as "Lover Boy"

Someone must swoon

Someone must be swept (by someone OR something) up, away, or into ____

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"Ron! What kind of valentine is this?" Hermione said angrily, waving the card emblazened with flying Quiddich players.

"What's wrong with it? It says `Happy Valentine's Day' on the front, and it's got Chudley Cannons stats on the back-- it's perfect: romantic and practical."

"No. Lavender got a single, red rose with `Darling, my love for you is undying, everlasting through the ages.' written on the stem in gold ink. That's romantic. This is just, just--imbecilic."

"Sure it is-- romantic, I mean. Besides, you wouldn't know romantic if it bit you in the-"

"That's not true!"

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Well then, Weasley-" Hermione countered, "I suppose you want me to want me to wear a red robe-" her wand twiched- "like a hooker. And I suppose you want me to sashy across the room-" she continued, mincing forward "and swoon into your arms, showing off my brand new, frilly, lace, heart encrusted panties. And I suppose- Erk!" she said, tripping over Ron's backpack and landing at his feet.

"Miss Granger." said Professor Snape, bearing down on them with a vengeance. "What, exactly, is the meaning of this?"

"Meaning of what?" said Hermione, trying gamely to look innocent.

"Meaning of this." Snape gestured at Hermionine, robes discheveled, sprawled at Ron's feet.

"Oh this-" smirked Ron " This is how `Mione looks after I sweep her off her feet and before she nibbles on my ear."

"I see. And you would do well to remember, Mr. Weasly, that I am perfectly capable of brewing a unrequited love potion, and bribing the house elves to slip it in your pumpkin juice."

"And if he doesn't, I will." said Hermione, angrily. "Nibbles on your ear, honestly! What do you think I am, Pig?" Ron glared at her, hurt.

"I suppose" he said, indicating Snape, "that you'd rather go for the Slytherin's Lover Boy, then."

"I assure you, , that Draco is quite busy at the moment. I suggest you continue your work before your caldron boils over completely. Unless, of course, you'd like to be covered with fur."

Happy Valentine's Day, all!