|A Change of Heart
Author: animal8 PM
For the 'Crayola Contest'. A mysterious young girl confronts Edward about his self deprecating ideas of himself, making him question the difference between good, bad and simply unfortunate. Can she change his views of his life?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Mystery - Edward - Words: 2,414 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 04-30-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5934797
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Purple Sight (A Change of Heart)
"Alice," I groaned. She was dragging me around shopping with her again, the unfortunate result of a lost bet with my brothers. I was definitely never betting with them again. All I wanted to do was go back to my Bella, take her into my arms and never let her go.
My sister turned to scowl at me, her dark eyes flashing with annoyance. "Honestly, Edward," she sighed, "It's not going to take that long and trust me when I say that you'll benefit from this."
I raised an eyebrow to her questioningly. How exactly was this supposed to be beneficial? It felt more like torture to me, a cruel and unusual punishment to inflict upon someone. I wished that Bella was here with me and my mind conjured the image of her, her soft, brown eyes bright as she smiled at me and her thick hair falling delicately about her shoulders. I sighed.
Oh, for the love of anything, Edward, Alice scolded. Will you please stop moping for just one moment?
No, Alice, I thought silently, I'll 'mope' all I want until I can get back to my Bella. She said nothing else, but her thoughts went back to searching for a new wardrobe for herself and Jasper. I tuned her out when her mind wandered to their nightly 'activities'.
We passed a small food court, one of many in the huge mall, and I was abruptly pushed down into a chair at the nearest table. I blinked up at Alice in surprise and she smiled sweetly at me.
"Just stay here until I get back," she instructed. She nearly skipped away in her buoyancy, leaving me behind feeling more bemused by her than ever. I shook my head as my fingers pinched at the bridge of my nose.
I would figure out her motives later, I told myself. Right now, I wanted to take advantage of being left unsupervised and spend as much time as she let me have imagining that Bella was here, in my arms.
I thought that I could get her a gift, some small token to offer her. I knew her dislike for surprises or having money spent on her, but I loved spoiling her and buying things for her. And I loved the look on her face when she liked something that I got her.
Maybe, I could get her a book, I considered, her copy of Wuthering Heights is very old and worn. Should I get her a new one, or buy some jewellery, perhaps? I was struggling to reach a decision when my thoughts were interrupted by an unexpected source.
"Hello," a tiny voice called.
I glanced down in shock and saw a little girl, no older than perhaps six or seven. She was grinning up at me with a cute, little smile, showing her perfect teeth. My first thought was that she must be lost and then I wondered why she was talking to me. Shouldn't she be afraid of me? Surely her instincts, even being so young, should tell her to avoid me and yet here she was.
But the biggest shock came when I met her eyes. They were a startling bright purple, vibrant and alive. It was such an unusual colour that for a moment, I forgot that she was waiting for an answer.
Quickly, I focused on the girl again, who was still staring up at me. "Hello," I said smoothly, covering my shock. "What's your name?" I asked, trying to be polite and not wanting to scare the girl.
"I'm Amelia," the girl stated proudly, her chin lifting subtly. "Can I sit in your lap?" She asked innocently, her eyes wide and pleading.
I hesitated. I didn't want to get into trouble, and I knew it was dangerous for her to be around me, but she looked so desperate. With a slight sigh, I gently pulled her up and sat her in my lap. She breathed out lightly, a strangely content sound. I stared at her with awe, wondering what was going through this small child's mind.
She shouldn't feel safe or comfortable around me; it was dangerous. One slip and I could kill her and she wouldn't be able to do a thing. She would be defenceless, easy prey. It wasn't right for her to be here with me, I should tell her to go. She was too innocent to be with a monster and that was what I was.
"You're not a bad person, you know," Amelia commented suddenly, almost as if she had been hearing my thoughts. It was slightly unnerving and I wondered if this was how my siblings felt when I read their minds.
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. This little girl was fascinating. She was actually willingly carrying out a conversation with me instead of shying away.
Amelia huffed at me, almost impatiently, as if it was obvious what she was trying to tell me. "I mean that you're not a bad person," she reiterated, "I know bad people and you're not one of them; you're trying to be good."
I was amazed. Who was this girl? She spoke so maturely for her age, as if she actually knew what she was talking about. But she had no idea, I thought bitterly, and hopefully never will. She didn't deserve such horrors in her life. "You shouldn't judge a book by its cover," I muttered.
The girl rolled her eyes and sighed. "Listen to me," she said sternly. The look on her face made me keep quiet and I suddenly doubted that she was just as she seemed. "There are good people in this world, as there are bad people. And there are people who have been dealt an unfortunate card," she looked pointedly at me, "But it's what you do with what you've been handed that makes the difference. Everyday, you strive to be something different to what you are. You deny yourself your inner demon's desires and follow a different path."
By now, I was openly gaping at this child as she sat on me, looking so fierce, as she spoke. The words from her mouth showed a much deeper understanding of the world around her than any child should possess, and yet somehow, she did. And I knew she wasn't finished yet.
"You have proven that you are good, simply by the choices you have made in order to abstain and from the conscience that you own," she drew in a sharp breath and continued, "And yet, you believe yourself to be a monster. What you have done requires great control and will power. Not many would make the decision, but you chose that path."
Her words both burned me and scared me. Clearly, she knew something of my life and of what I was, but that wasn't what I was focused on in that moment. Everything she said, every word, was the truth. But I couldn't accept it. How could I be anything less than a monster after all of the lives I had taken, the families I destroyed because of that?
"We all make mistakes, Edward," Amelia said softly, "And everyone deserves forgiveness, especially when they are repentant. I know you regret what you did all those years ago, and I know it will always haunt you, unless you can find a way to let it go and accept the forgiveness. Don't let your mistakes ruin the precious gift you have been given."
My thoughts were all over the place as I tried to process everything she was telling me. The last part of what she said stood out as I puzzled over what she meant. My mouth felt stiff, frozen in place as I was, and it took some effort to speak the words. "Gift?" I managed to get out.
Amelia laughed musically, her violet eyes sparkling. "Oh, Edward, the gift of love, of course," she informed me casually. Then she became sombre again. "I see things, Edward, things you wouldn't even imagine. Whatever happens, whatever you think is best, do not let go of her. Ever."
"What does that mean?" I asked fearfully. Was she suggesting that I'd leave Bella? Impossible, I would never have the strength to do that. How could I leave her? She was the best thing that had ever happened to me, my love and my life.
"I think you know what it means," she said mournfully, "You've already thought about it; you can't deny that."
Yes, I had considered leaving, but I knew that I couldn't, it would hurt too much. I was selfish and wanted to keep her with me always. She would be better off without me…
"If you know what's good, you'll stop thinking like that," Amelia warned abruptly. "It is things like that which will get you both into trouble. You belong together, so stay with her. Neither of you can survive apart, it will only bring heartbreak to both parties."
I remained silent as I considered and she sat patiently on my legs. She spoke so clearly, strong and passionate, and her words held such meaning. Who was this girl? She certainly wasn't any normal human being, at least none that I had come across. The things she knew…she said she saw things. What things could lead to a small girl becoming so intelligent? I didn't understand her, but something made me believe that everything she said was true. That I really was a good person at heart and not the monster I had always believed. Was it possible?
I wanted to think it was and that I could actually be the good person I wanted to, the one I had always tried to be ever since I rejoined Carlisle. Even though I had believed there was no way for me to atone for my sins, I had still wanted to try. And now I knew what I had to say.
"I believe you," I said quietly.
Amelia smiled with relief and visibly relaxed. I hadn't realised she was so tense, awaiting my response. "Thank you," she sighed happily.
"Amelia!" A woman's worried voice floated to us, breaking the intense bubble that had form around us during her speech.
The girl looked up at the woman, her face showing none of the tenseness of our conversation. She once again resembled nothing more than an innocent child. "Coming Mummy," she shouted to her. She turned to me and smiled, wrapping her tiny arms around my torso in as big a hug as she could manage. "Goodbye, Edward," she whispered, then she leaned up to whisper in my ear, "Oh, and I would get her the book."
I once more blinked in shock as she seemed to read my mind. "Thank you," I said, smiling down at her softly and gratefully.
"Your welcome," she grinned cheekily before bouncing off my legs and running into the arms of her mother. I watched as she was led away by her worried parent and as she turned one last time to whisper quietly, "Bye, Edward."
I have lived a very long time, but that was probably the strangest occurrence I have ever experienced. She appeared to be an ordinary six or seven year old, but she spoke with such wisdom and she knew things others would have no clue about. Her strange eyes stood out, bold and bright, shining with knowledge. It was very odd in her young features.
Questions buzzed through my head with such speed that it nearly surpassed my ability to keep up with them. Who was she? Was she even human? How did she know the things she told me? What did they mean? Was she telling the truth? How could that be? And most importantly of all, what was I going to do now?
As I thought that, I picked up Alice's thoughts approaching, though blocked with a hazy mess of Greek words which were swiftly translated into Lithuanian and then German. I gave up listening before she succeeded in giving me a headache.
"Hello, Edward," Alice greeted, sounding unusually mellow for her perky nature.
"Alice," I nodded. I stared up at her suspiciously. "Did you happen to know something about what happened just now?" I asked innocuously.
She gave me a blank look, but her thoughts became even more frenzied. "I don't know what you're talking about," she denied.
"You mean you had nothing to do with that girl?" I asked again, "Who was she?" I was paying close attention to her mind, hoping for her to slip up, but I caught nothing than what I already knew.
"No," she said slowly, "And I really have no idea who she is. She just sort of appeared in one of my visions. I figured it would do you some good to have a talking to, even if it came from a little girl."
She was telling the truth, I noted with disappointment. It seemed this girl was destined to remain a mystery to me. I flickered back to the last thing she had said to me. Get her the book, the words echoed in my head.
"Hey, Alice," I called as she started to lead the way out of the food court.
"I know," she smirked back. I smiled. I guess I was going to a bookstore. My eyes scanned the area and I thought I caught a flash of purple from the girl's eyes before it was gone. I shrugged to myself and turned away.
"It's not the hand you're dealt, it's what you do with it that counts..."
"Everyone makes mistakes. It happens. It's how you deal with it that shows who you are..."
"No single person is either all good or all bad. Each person has the potential to do both, but each person also has the choice of which side to follow and your decisions dictate your path..."
"True love is a gift and should be cherished always..."
Written for the 'Crayola Contest'
Hosted by LittleNessie12, link: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/1817805/LittleNessie12