|Ten Commandments of Detective Conan
Author: DireSphinx PM
I'm expecting to be struck by lightning any second now for this blasphemy...Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Words: 516 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 3 - Published: 05-04-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5944888
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Well, someone should state the holy canonical rules for everyone else...
The Ten Commandments of Detective Conan
These are the words of a fanfic author, humble servant to Gosho Aoyama, Creator of Detective Conan, who writes this manga of which ye admire. Heed thine words and keep them sacred in thine heart of hearts, so that long may be your days:
1. Thou shalt have no other identities but thine own, unless thou art Kaitou Kid, Vermouth, or a shrunken teenager hiding from the Organization trying to kill thee.
2. Thou shalt not commit a simple crime. Thine mysteries and murders must be convoluted, involve three possible suspects, and be solved within the span of six manga chapters, unless said mystery or murder involves the Black Organization. Then thine mystery must stretch for sixteen plus years or until Gosho Aoyama tires of writing thine manga.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of meitantei Kudo Shinichi in vain; for Kudo Shinichi is a wanted man and any mention of his name may lead to thine early demise.
4. Remember thy previous identity, and keep thine identity a secret so that thine enemies in the Black Organization may not find thee and kill everyone that thou knowest and loves.
5. Honour thy father, thy mother, thy black belt karate chopping or mop wielding childhood friend, and thy shrunken scientist experimenting upon thee: that thy days may be long upon the manga which Gosho Aoyama thy Creator giveth thee.
6. Thou shalt not kill in the vicinity of Edogawa Conan, if thou desirest to get away with thine crime.
7. Thou shalt not flirt with other women, if thou wishest to keep thy wife/childhood friend/potential love interest happy and thee free from bodily harm.
8. Thou shalt not steal, unless thou art Kaitou Kid. If thou art Kaitou Kid, then thou shalt not get caught.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor in the presence of teenage detectives, for thou wilst be caught in thine lies and punished appropriately. Thou shalt only bear false witness in the presence of thine potential girlfriend, to keep her from discovering the Truth and karate chopping/mop swapping thine lying body to itty bitty bits.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house (unless thy house be thine own before thou art shrunk), thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (unless thou art a Sleeping Detective), nor his manservant or his maidservant (unless said manservant or maidservant be thou Kaitou Kid in disguise. If this be the case, only fangirls, fanboys, or Suzuki may covet to thine hearts' content.), nor his ox, nor his ass (unless said ass belongeth to a visually pleasing detective or magician), nor anything that is thy neighbor's (unless it shall lead to a cure, or is a gem of spectacular legend.)
As long as ye fans honor thine commandments and keep them holy, all shall be well in the Detective Conan franchise. Long may Detective Conan reign!
I'm still blaming "The Lord's Prayer to Canada" for this...