Author: emzypemzy PM
When Morgan befriends another woman Garcia can't help the injustice and jealousy that she feels and she is forced to confront why she is so jealous, especially when all her emotions come to a head after a hellish case.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Angst - P. Garcia & D. Morgan - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,602 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 05-05-10 - Published: 05-04-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5945243
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds...but man I wish I did!
I could put it partly down to PMS-ing and partly down to having a bad day, after just finishing off an even worse case. Whatever the reason, emotions were running high that day and when he came into my office and said those words that I had grown so used to hearing after the last four months – "Carmen said" – I snapped. It was the first time I had ever snapped at him quite so harshly face to face, or at all for that matter.
"Just what the blooming heck did your precious Carmen say now then, eh?!" I almost snarled before I even had a chance to take in his slightly lowered posture and his twisting hands. If I had taken a second to notice these tell tale traits, I would have realised that my best friend was nervous and maybe then I would have realised that it was something big he was about to tell me. After all, Derek Morgan was very rarely nervous, whether being faced with the Ice Queen herself or staring down the barrel of a gun he never wavered for a second. And yet here he was in my office, nervous as I had only seen him once before – when he first came to see me after the abuse came out – and I was too blinded by my weird sense of jealousy to notice.
He looked startled. That was the first thing I noticed after my vision had cleared of the red I had seen at her name once again being flung at me so casually. My anger dissipated as quickly as it has formed and my brows furrowed: I knew that I never spoke to him like that before, be surely I hadn't actually frightened him?
I began to apologise, worry creeping in now at his expression. "I'm sorry Handsome, it's been a bad day and an even worse week." I said somewhat sheepishly, as much as I was jealous of his new found friendship I didn't want to lose what semblance of one we had left because I had let things get to me.
"I-it's ok." He said and I realised that he was nervous, Derek Morgan was nervous, around me. What was going on? My first evil thought was that he was now 'with' Carmen and I scrunched my nose up at the thought, I didn't want to know if that was what he had come here to say.
"If you're here to tell me that you and Carmen are an item Derek then I don't want to hear it, as much as I love you I just can't talk about that right now, not after the week I've had." I said, the mask I had shielded myself behind now officially on the floor in tatters. The proverbial white ball had just knocked my world into chaos.
"I'm not." He said simply, his voice still not with his usual confident air. "I am here because of her though." He continued and I groaned to myself, I really didn't want to know this.
"How could you possibly be here because of her then Derek, do tell?" I demanded, my jealousy and anger resurfacing slightly.
"Because she let me talk to her about something important-"
"And I didn't? Don't even try and say that Derek Morgan or I'll-" He stopped me mid rant.
"I wouldn't dream of it Baby Girl. You see, I needed someone to talk to, someone who wasn't you." He said and his eyes were pleading with me to listen, so I did. If he wanted to talk so be it, and afterwards if I wanted to yell at him, I was blooming well going to. "I needed an outsider's opinion, a consultant of sorts before I dove in head first and she, well, she provided that without me even asking. She helped me get to where I am now."
I went to interrupt him with some sort of words to hurry him on to the point - I didn't want to hear how amazing Carmen had been – but he stopped me with another pleading, almost puppy dog look.
"I needed a second opinion, you see, because I wanted to do something for a long time and I didn't know how it would go down, how it would be received." He was being cryptic and I hated it when Morgan was cryptic – he was a hard enough man to understand sometimes as it was.
"Uh huh." I tried to prod him on when he seemed to be watching me for my reaction instead of explaining. How did he expect me to be reacting when I didn't know what he was saying? Men.
"Uh- Garcia- Pen, what I'm trying to say is that I-I was wondering if you wanted to maybe get some dinner with me sometime..?" At my somewhere between shocked and confused look he continued. "As...um...a date?" He finished off, his hand going around rubbing over his head, one of his other nervous tells. Derek Morgan was nervous, of me.
As that realisation dawned, it also began to sink in that my best friend, the man I had been mooning over for years now had just asked me out, and I was still staring blankly at him. Oh that couldn't be good. I was about to answer from my heart on instinct when my brain kicked in once more.
"But what about you and Carmen?" I demanded, somewhat more harshly than I had meant to.
"Just friends, sweetness, I told you."
"But you made me so- urgh. You are an infuriating man Derek Morgan! You've been so preoccupied when we've been hanging out, if it wasn't in fact because you and Carmen were becoming nearer and nearer to becoming an item then what was it?" I asked, my mind not catching up to my heart just yet.
"Baby Girl," He said with a soft laugh. "Did you not hear my question?" I nodded slowly and he saw the realisation dawn in my eyes, I froze. "I want to go out with you Gorgeous, I want to wine you and dine you and sweep you off your Jimmy Choo clad feet." He said, a smile creeping on to his face.
"B-but what was all the- but you and her were- oh my head hurts." I said rather dramatically as all of my thoughts tried to vocalise themselves at once.
"You are such a drama queen mamma." He teased with a smile, kneeling in front of me, tucking an errant curl behind my ear before feeling my temperature, ever diligent in his 'duty' as my Knight in dark armour. I was glad of the joke as it allowed my head to clear for a moment despite his proximity, Morgan and I had been closer than this over the years and I had managed to breath just fine, how come it was a struggle to do that and think now? Men. Or rather, Morgan. I thought exasperatedly.
Our eyes met as he spoke softly: "No fever, you're just working that brain of yours too hard Goddess, I know you're All Knowing, but remember even Goddesses need a rest." He said, his voice full of care and worry. We were silent for a moment after that, each trying to read the others' gaze. After a long moment he brushed another curl out of my face gently and the look in his eye told me he was going to kiss me, and I wanted nothing more than –
"But why did you always look like you were somewhere else whenever we spoke? You always seemed to be off in LaLa Land. Was I no longer interesting to you?" I asked on a rush of breath before his lips descended.
He pushed himself back on to his heels and looked to the ground for a second before his eyes met mine again. This time they were darker, as if filled with his raw emotion, and if I looked closely enough I wouldn't have been surprised if I could see into his soul – his gaze was that powerful.
"Because I wanted you." He said simply, no hint of embarrassment or bashfulness, his usual determination and confidence back in place. I was being treated to Derek Morgan at his best and I was speechless. "Because every time I was there I wanted to tell you that I couldn't stand being 'just friends' any longer, that I wanted us to be more - because believe me honey I think we could be fantastic together; because every day you wore one of those low cut tops that drove me halfway to mad and each time you spoke or smiled I wanted to know what it would be like to kiss you. And not the little pecks we're used to mamma, I wanted hot kisses and wet kisses that would drive each other insane and I could hardly stand not telling you this every single time it was just the two of us, but I wasn't ready. I was scared."
"So you were like that because you were distracted by me?" I asked again, cocking and eyebrow at him as my lips curled up into a massive 100 watt smile.
"Yes, Baby Girl, by you. You really know how to drive a man wild." He said, his thumb brushing over my cheek softly.
"And I didn't even know I was doing a thing. Imagine what I could do if I put my mind to it." I replied with a wink. He groaned in response and I don't think I had ever felt more wanted, more alive as I did in that moment.
His lips descended on mine in an instant; he gave me a toe curling, fireworks-behind-the-eyelids inducing kiss that showed me just how long he had wanted this for. And if I was any judge then it had been as long as I had wanted it too.
That night, lying in bed, my thoughts filled with delicious Derek Morgan kisses, I knew that my perverse sense of jealousy was all because I couldn't bear to lose the man who had helped to make me the woman that I am today. I knew now that there was never any need for jealousy, for envy, because my best friend would never and could never replace me. I would always hold that special place in his heart and now, I knew just where it was I couldn't help but smile into the darkness of the room: I had finally gotten the man of dreams and it was all down to Carmen Bowville. I had an apology to make. But right now I was going to roll over into the clothed arms of my Chocolate God and just enjoy the fact that he was there, that there was now an "us" and that nobody could ever replace what we had. I should never have doubted it to begin with.
Jealousy really is the worst emotion, it wrecks things it shouldn't have a patch on, but it's no longer going to be doing that to me, to us.
A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews before :) I know most of you wanted this to go on for longer but this was what the muse came up with and I did try make it longer but it wasn't for happening. Lemme know what you thought :)