|SHERYL NOME: Guide and Maintenance Manual
Author: steshin PM
DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND! Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated SHERYL NOME unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Tsundere-diva, please pay close detail to this guide and manual.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Sheryl - Words: 1,945 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 05-09-10 - Status: Complete - id: 5959342
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: I do not own Macross Frontier or anything related to it. Also, the original idea for this is from Theresa Green.
SHERYL NOME: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated SHERYL NOME unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Tsundere Diva, please pay close attention to the following instructions:
Name: Sheryl Nome (a.k.a Galactic Fairy, Queen Sheryl, Fairy – 9)
Date of Manufacture: November 23, 2042(?)
Place of Manufacture: Macross Galaxy fleet
Height: 169 cm
Weight: (We are not allowed to disclose this information)
Your SHERYL NOME unit will come with the following accessories:
One (1) pair of fold-quartz earrings
One (1) Blue outfit with matching beret
One (1) standard special Mihoshi Academy uniform
One (1) standard issued S.M.S. pilot suit
One (1) microphone/whip
One (1) high techy-y microphone-like cellphone
*Her large number of outfits and stage costumes is sold separately.
NOTE: The SHERYL NOME unit is extremely picky with her shoes and will require you to spend on custom-made shoes to meet her sensitive feet's satisfaction.
This unit also has famous catchphrases:
"Listen to my song!"
"I'm Sheryl. Sheryl Nome."
The SHERYL NOME unit can be a number of things!
SINGER: Your SHERYL NOME unit is a gifted singer—and versatile at that! She can do Pop, Rock, RnB, Ballads, Enka, slows songs, fast songs, tricky songs—whatever you like! You can hold concerts and special lives that are guaranteed to be always sold out.
Her singles and albums will always skyrocket to the top, so you can have yourself a nice dip in your Olympic-sized money pool. Plus, her singing can be used to help eradicate that annoying VAJRA (Violent Army of mutant space bugs that are Jumbo-sized and Really Annoying).
And! If you're insatiably greedy, order a GRACE O'CONNOR unit NOW to watch your profits multiply like rabbits!
WARNING! The GRACE O'CONNOR unit is dangerous and unpredictable. We are not responsible for any physical/mental/emotional damages caused by experimentations on your unit should you decide to acquire a GRACE O'CONNOR unit.
MENTOR: Have an annoying brat—err, kid who dreams of making it big in showbiz? The SHERYL NOME unit is just what you need! She can help shape up that naïve kid of yours and teach her the finer points of music, educating her on all she needs to know about climbing to the top of that industry social ladder! And should she break down and whine, the SHERYL NOME unit will give her a nice slap back to reality.
MODEL: Need a brunette for a photo-shoot? A blonde? A redhead? (Insert any weird hair color)? The SHERYL NOME unit is just what you need! With the most advance technology and special effects, your SHERYL NOME unit can have any desirable hairstyle, hair color at any length. So no need to fuss around with those rollers and hair dryers! She can pull off cute, sexy, mature, moe, megane—it's up to you! She will look absolutely stunning in any magazine cover, spread page, billboard or commercial—and that, dear customer, is a guarantee!
PILOT: Your SHERYL NOME unit is enlisted in a pilot course, so she has quite a good experience in—nah, who are we kidding? You might as well have your will and testament ready if you plan to have her fly you and/or other people around. …Hey! You can use her to pilot a very expensive and insured plane. It's like watching money fall from the sky as a ball of inferno comes crashing down.
Your SHERYL NOME unit comes with ten (10) different modes:
Haughty (default setting)
-To unlock Intimate mode, a SAOTOME ALTO unit will do the trick to get some futon-down affection. Yep, having a terminal illness does not deter the SAOTOME ALTO unit to get it down (talk about taking a risk). Make sure that your SHERYL NOME unit is wearing traditional Japanese attire, as the SAOTOME ALTO unit was specifically taught how to undress this.
CAUTION! Protection is advised if you plan to unlock this level. Have your SHERYL NOME unit checked up at a hospital afterwards. The same goes for the SAOTOME ALTO unit. Also, be wary of any YASABURO units before conducting anything intimate.
Relations with other units:
Your SHERYL NOME unit has a range of reactions depending on the kind of unit she faces.
RANKA LEE: This unit looks up to the SHERYL NOME unit and will find inspiration from your unit to pursue her dreams of becoming a pop idol singer. Your SHERYL NOME unit will also become a sort of mentor and sister-figure to this unit, despite having the same designs for a particular SAOTOME ALTO unit.
SAOTOME ALTO: This unit will annoy your SHERYL NOME unit at first but will eventually grow an attachment to this unit, escalating to dates, impulsive enrollments, confiding conversations, kissing, lovemaking, etc. Needless to say, the SAOTOME ALTO unit is a very compatible unit for your SHERYL NOME unit despite butting heads and arguing on a regular basis.
GRACE O'CONNOR: Your SHERYL NOME unit treats this cyborg manager unit as a friend and sister. However, this unit is highly dangerous, deceptive and manipulative, as well as being responsible for implanting your unit's illness. The GRACE O'CONNOR unit will even delete her attached feelings towards your unit in order to forward her own maniacal interests. Needless to say, it is best to keep this unit away from your SHERYL NOME unit (and other units for that matter) as much as possible.
MICHAEL BLANC: This unit will initially flirt a bit with your unit but will cease upon knowing that your unit does not consider him as her type. They do however have a certain degree of friendship and the MICHAEL BLANC unit will even investigate your unit's suspicious medication with the assistance of a CLAN CLANG unit.
LUCA ANGELLONI: This unit is a fan and admirer of your unit. But should AIMO (Annoying Insects Make Out) Day come and shit hits the fan, this shouta unit, together with the seedy LEON MISHIMA unit, will convince your SHERYL NOME unit to help in defeating those sexually-frustrated space bugs.
Other unit interactions:
BRERA STERNE: There are no recorded interactions with this cyborg unit. But if you are insistent of having a Brera/Sheryl interaction as you are a die-hard/hardcore Alto/Ranka fan and want the SHERYL NOME unit out of the way even if means shipping her with someone whom she never had any series interaction with, then wait for the release of the BRERA STERNE UPC edition™ (UPC – Undercover Priest Cop).
CLAN CLANG: This unit will help the MICHAEL BLANC unit in discovering your unit's terminal condition. She has a level of empathy towards your unit and will even spill the beans of your unit's medical situation to a SAOTOME ALTO unit (prompted by the casualty of a MICHAEL BLANC unit).
YASABURO: Be warned that this unit has a strong affinity to do ACTS (Alto, Come back to Theatre Strategies) and when the opportunity strikes, he will use your SHERYL NOME unit to lure a SAOTOME ALTO unit back to the Saotome estate.
ELMO KRIDANIK: After being abandoned by the GRACE O'CONNOR unit, the ELMO KRIDANIK unit (who was equally forsaken) will help your unit pick up her career! He won't even care about non-profit gigs, all for the sake of charity and songs of love. Deculture!
The SHERYL NOME unit is a capable self-cleaning unit. Just prepare a warm bathtub, and she'll do the rest. However, do note that you'll have to spend more for her shampoo and conditioner to deal with all that long hair. Also, she might nag you for some added bath salts, scented candles, petals, etc.
At times, she might also be lazy and just lie around all day, totally uncaring of her appearance— but that can be quickly fixed by remarking out-loud about having a SAOTOME ALTO unit come over. With that, she will clean up her act as quick as a wink.
If you would like to clean her yourself, please be reminded of the following: Do not machine-wash. Do not tumble dry. Do not line-dry.
Your SHERYL NOME unit will require lots of energy for her activities. She can cook to a certain degree but is advised that you supervise her in the kitchen as she is prone to get cuts from handling knives. Also, using chopsticks is not her specialty. She favors gourmet meals, especially ones made by a SAOTOME ALTO unit.
Frequently Asked Questions:
Q: How come she's missing her earrings? Don't they come with her? This is a rip-off! I want my money back!
A: We suggest you track down a SAOTOME ALTO unit and interrogate him. If not, you could always order online for a new set. Also kid, there is absolutely NO REFUNDS.
Q: My SHERYL NOME unit disappeared! I can't find her anywhere and this annoying green-haired girl has been becoming more popular as of late! I need to make more money now, WHERE IS SHE?!
A: Hold your chocobos there, dear customer. Firstly, has she been feeling well? Maybe you've neglected the fact that she has the V-Type (Very Typical Plot Enforcer) virus. Try looking into your local hospitals, if not, the Saotome mansion. Rest assured though, if you can't find her in the suggested areas, she is probably with a SAOTOME ALTO unit as we speak.
Problem: Your SHERYL NOME unit has the V-Type virus.
Solution: This can be easily cured by getting a RANKA LEE unit to perform a sort of magical-medical-alternative-treatment-mumbo-jumbo. Sure, it's kinda weird but hey—it's free!
Problem: You want to engage in certain activities with your SHERYL NOME unit.
Solution: Unless you're a SAOTOME ALTO unit, there is no solution.
Not convinced? Here are a few words from our satisfied customers on the SAOTOME ALTO unit that was released on 01.07.10:
It's so awesome! I never have to cook another meal for myself ever again! I rate this product as 5 STARS!!!
--Some lazy guy
Minmay was supposed to perform a concert that was for the sake of humanity, but much to our dismay, she chickened out in the last minute! We had to look for a replacement else meet our doom. That's when we stumbled upon the SAOTOME ALTO unit. We dressed the unit up and curled up his hair to increase his feminine looks. With lip-synching and a Vocaloid program, no one was able to tell the difference! Not even the Zentradi! What's more…the SAOTOME ALTO unit looks a hundreds time more pretty than the original Minmay! Now, that's quality we can really recommend.
--Hikaru, Misa and Kaifun (SDF Macross)
This product here makes a really good punching bag—err, stress-reliever.
With proper care and maintenance, your SHERYL NOME unit will live a long and happy life, singing songs, having concerts and mooching off blue-haired princesses. Once again, congratulations and don't stop buying our stuff!