|The many misadventures of Walnut Grove
Author: The Little House Scribe PM
Someone must have told you there would be stories like this. But never quite this bad. - A collection of mostly shorts and oneshots relating to Little House on the Prairie. A/N: Yes, I am still writing. This is a work-in-progress. Please R&R.Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor - Adam K. & Mary I. K. - Chapters: 51 - Words: 62,252 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 08-22-12 - Published: 06-09-10 - id: 6037035
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Adam Kendall decides he needs a middle name.
Adam sighed dramatically, rubbing his eyes vigorously and letting his hands fall upon the vast amount of paperwork on his desk. Adam had been signing off various documents that HE judged to be of importance - many disagreed with him, but when was Adam one to care for the opinions of others?
"Mary!" Adam called, sighing deeply, running his hands through his hair in apparent exasperation.
"Yes Adam?" Mary's voice replied from the other room. She, unlike him, was hard at work, and did not like to be disturbed by her husband's frequent ability to tell ridiculous jokes. "Do you need anything?"
Mary heard Adam's heavy footsteps stomp into the room she was knitting in. Making cardigans for her husband wasn't her favoured activity, but he needed to stay warm. What else would the ninny run out into storms wearing if she left him alone again? Minneapolis and the Law Studies Exam time had been bad enough.
"Mary..." said Adam, holding her shoulders in what he envisaged as a caring, loving way.
Mary was slightly worried. Had Adam come up with another ridiculous scheme and was he breaking his plots to her gently?
"Mary, I need you to -"
"Anything Adam." Mary said, cutting him off. He wouldn't ask her to do anything overly awful - but forcing her to bake that Broccoli cake certainly came close. She still couldn't get the horrible green stains off the baking dish, which Adam confirmed, "Nodding glumly," in his own words.
"It's not that dear. I'd like to know if you ever use your middle name?"
"Amelia? No, only on official documents and such"
No sooner had Mary's voice died down, she head the THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! of Adam charging up the stairs like a bull who just spotted a vivid red handkerchief. Five minutes, 2 bangs involving doors, some slamming of cabinets and a crashing stumble down a flight of stairs, Adam returned, bruised but victorious, smiling from ear to ear.
Mary could not confirm it with her own eyes, STUPID SCARLET FEVER! Mary thought. I'd have never had lost my sight! I'd be happy, Happy, Happy, HAPPY!
"And Adam?" Another voice questioned in her head. "Where would you be without him?"
"Somewhere...else..." Mary said wistfully "Not worrying about Broccoli stains!" Mary said, snarling viciously.
A sharp zap brought Mary out of her reverie. Gathering her thoughts, she realized Adam had grabbed her hand, and he was sitting on the arm of her chair.
"I've got it!" Adam cried dramatically. " Our most important document of all!"
Mary was genuinely curious now, her expression changing from morose to intrigued.
"Here you go dear." Said Adam, gingerly handing a framed…something to Mary.
"Adam…." Said Mary.
"Ooh. Sorry dear." Mary felt the frame move as Adam fiddled around the back of the frame. After he dexterously unclipped the locking mechanism, Adam carefully slid the paper out of the frame.
"It's a piece of paper?" Mary exclaimed, after hearing it flutter in the breeze from the open window. Adam ignored her. What was the window doing open in the middle of winter? Adam immediately went to rectify the situation.
"So…you've framed a piece of paper…."
"Not just any piece of paper. My most important of our material possessions."
"What?" asked Mary, at a clear loss.
"It was a toss up between it and my wedding ring. I suppose the ring has more useful value everyday, but this is the official document. The ring signifies my marriage. This –"
"Adam…Do you think this is important enough to…Where'd you say you keep this?"
"On the desk in my study. I suppose it isn't the safest location, but I, I like looking at it."
"Sorry darling." Adam added a second later, worried that his sight comment might have offended his wife. "I didn't mean it like that."
"It's not that…Well…I never expected that you'd put something like that on your desk…Normal folks put pictures on their desks."
Adam grunted. "If we weren't cut out of so many episodes, we might've had a good picture taken. But noooo, Mike had to put us on the backburner. Who cares about some blind teacher lady and her blind teacher husband? BOOORRING! They want to know all about the sudden ladyness of Half-Pint."
"I mean, seriously, she (Laura, that is) goes through the whole year trying to get Almanzo, Zaldamo, Manly or the guy-who-is-another-half-her-age-older-than-she-is to notice her as a 'Woman' as she puts herself, we get the tragedies of Walnut Grove. I'm not an opera star, for crying out loud!"
Mary couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing. "Yep. Wagon wreck breaks your legs and I nearly burn myself to death. Escaped convicts break into the blind school and –"
"I wanted to be there…" Adam said. "I'd like to pull a quick jab – or perhaps an uppercut. But noooo…. Charles has to be the hero. Why couldn't it be Almanzo? Or Nels even? I've only ever hit a girl in the series."
"Too right." Grumbled Mary. "Not to mention the fire" Mary gulped. "By the way, sorry for beating on you."
"Its okay" said Adam, kissing Mary's cheek. "Besides, even though I never get a chance to prove it in the series, I do have some ability to stand up to blows. Stupid Mike and his utterly ludicrous storylines. I'm not saying I could face up to a blow from Jonathon Garvey and get away with it; I just wish I had a little more action. And not being blasted through the air after knocking over a crate of Nitroglycerin either."
"What were we talking about ?" Mary inquired.
"I don't know darling…" Said Adam, taking the wedding certificate from Mary's hands.
"Oh yes! You need a middle name!"
"Why? Adam Kendall not good enough for you?"
And leaving Mary glaring at him through sightless eyes, Adam went over, closed the curtains, signaling the end of this fanfic.