|Love Does Not Cause Pain
Author: ArmAndLeg PM
[AU] Earth is already taken over, and Tallests Red and Purple arrange marriages for kicks. In fact, Zim and Dib are their next victims. However, Dib has been going through tough times. Is this going to make his situation better, or worse?Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Drama - Dib & Zim - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,967 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 05-01-02 - Published: 02-15-02 - Status: Complete - id: 605887
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
AN: This is the last chapter! Yep. Last chapter of Love Does Not Cause Pain. ^_^ Don't let me ruin the ending for you…just take note that it's now around Valentine's Day in the fic (because I wrote this whole thing around Valentine's day. O_o). Just to let you know, I had tons of fun writing this fic, especially this chapter.
Warning: OOCness. I think that's all.
Disclaimer: I feel no need to write an explanation. That word should give you enough clues.
Love Does Not Cause Pain
"He's Like a Rose…"
Zim sighed. It had been a few weeks since Dib had his last encounter with Jay, and Dib was still very upset over what had happened. Well, Zim never was able to speak with Dib, but Zim could tell that he was upset. Zim hated all of this so much; Dib was supposed to be happy now that Jay was gone! But…he was still scarred from what had happened, and Dib hadn't forgiven Zim at all (hence why Zim hasn't been able to speak with Dib).
How many times had Zim tried to explain himself to Dib in the past weeks? It had to be at least twenty times, and every time Dib pretended not to hear him, or just walked away. Zim wasn't going to be able to handle Dib's silence much longer. This was slowly driving the alien insane. Jazz had suggested things to him that he could do, but Zim figured that no matter what he did, Dib was going to ignore him.
Though, Zim also decided that it wouldn't hurt too much to try. The human holiday Valentine's day was tomorrow, and Zim had done research on it. Like all human holidays, Zim thought it was stupid, but he was going to try it out. He knew that there was plenty of things he could do to show Dib how he felt, but he wanted to do something simple; something that would be easy to do yet have Dib understand how strongly Zim felt for him.
Dib was visiting his mother again, and Zim figured this was the perfect time to do what he had to do. Zim almost had no plan, but he knew he would think of something. Zim walked down the street and walked past a flower shop. He was about to pass it by, but thought better of it. Sighing, Zim forced himself to walk into the store.
This was going to be much harder than he thought.
There were so many flowers to choose from, and Zim had no idea which flowers Dib liked the most. Suddenly, Zim was beginning to think this was a horrible, horrible idea. He couldn't do this, at least, not without some sort of plan. Then Zim shook his head; he was being silly! He was an Irken Invader, he could do this.
With the new vote of confidence, Zim examined all of the flowers, trying to find one that would stand out. He wasn't going to get Dib something ordinary, but he also wanted something that wasn't too outrageous.
"I hate being picky," Zim mumbled.
Dib walked into his mother's room and sighed. She wasn't doing too well, he could tell by the way she was breathing. "Hey Mom," he greeted as he kissed her on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"
"Better than usual," she replied. "Your father was actually here today. The man hasn't been takin' care of himself…"
"He's trying to find the cure, you know that," Dib said quietly.
"And how are you feeling? You haven't been the same since Jay was taken away," his mother observed.
Dib remained silent. "How do you think I'm feeling?" he countered suddenly.
"You look depressed, as if something happened and you don't know how to fix it. Actually, you look worse than your father. What happened?"
"It's just that, well…the last time Jay had tried to force himself on me, Zim didn't…do anything to stop him. According to Zim's story, he had went off to get the police, but…"
"Dib, he went to get the police. He was trying to get help for you, so he really did do something," she pointed out. "Zim was trying to protect you."
"No he wasn't, Mom! He wouldn't have left me there if he was trying to protect me," Dib said, looking down at the ground. "He…didn't stop Jay."
His mother sighed. "He didn't stop Jay because he might have thought you had wanted him. Dib, you have to realize that Zim was only trying to do what was best for you. When you shouted out to him like you told me you had, he realized that he needed to get help and fast."
"…but couldn't he just have tired to get Jay off of me?" Dib asked.
"Yes, but he might have known that if he had done that, Jay would try to rape you repeatedly. Maybe…maybe Zim wanted to stop you from getting hurt in the future," his mother stated. "At least, that was what I could gather when he visited me by himself," she mumbled.
Dib blinked. "Zim visited you?"
"About a few days after Jay had been caught. Zim snuck in during the middle of the night. Scared the hell outta me. But he really needed to talk to someone about what'd happened, because—at the time—you wouldn't even look at him."
Sighing, Dib looked down at the ground again. "Did he talk to you about anything else?"
"No…but he sounded rather upset that you wouldn't notice him. I think he cares about you more than he'd like to let on. He seems to depend on your opinions a lot, and he sure was upset and angry with Jay…. I don't think he went ten minutes without mentioning how much he wanted to kill the boy," she stated.
"Before I ran out of the house that day, Zim told me…that he loved me. I couldn't believe it; in fact, I still can't believe it. It doesn't seem right for him to love me. We're being forced to marry one another, I figured he'd hate every minute of it."
"Do you love him back?"
"…What?" Dib asked, blinking at his mother.
"Do you love him back?" she repeated.
Slowly, Dib shook his head. "No, I don't think I do."
"There's your problem right there. You and your father both think too much. You use your mind way too much for matters that should be dealt with by the heart. Forget thinking that you love him; try actually feeling it," his mother ordered.
"I forgot how to feel, mother…" Dib whispered.
"No you haven't, Dib. You're afraid of loving Zim back, that's all there is to it," his mother said. "You know that he loves you, and your heart knows exactly how you feel, but you're afraid Jay did more to you than you think. Sometimes you walk in here, smiling wide as can be, then you met him. I've never seen you smile since you've met Jay…at least, not a real one."
"Nothing takes away the horror I've been through, Mom," Dib stated strongly, trying to keep eye contact with his mother.
"Zim does. You were almost truly happy that first day you brought him here. You may not realize it yet, but you've forgiven Zim for something you shouldn't have been mad at him over in the first place. Zim said he would protect you, and he has in his own way," she explained.
"But…he doesn't know that. I don't think I could love him back, Mom, not after what I've been through…"
"Yes, you can, Dib. Stop thinking negatively and start smiling again. Don't let what happened in the past get to you; get over it and move on. If you can't move on by yourself, let Zim help you move on. I'm sure he'll be glad to help."
Dib sighed. "I don't think he'll want to help me, not after how I treated him," he said quietly, looking off to the side.
"At least try, Dib. If not for yourself, then for me. I'm not going to be around much longer, and you know that, Dib. My only request I have is for you to be happy," she said quietly. "Please, Dib, give Zim a chance."
"…I'll try. I guess I'll be going know, I don't want Zim to worry about me," Dib said. He kissed his mother goodbye.
"See? You think of him all the time," she said with a smirk.
Dib smiled at her for a little bit, shaking his head slightly. "Whatever, Mom…" he said, causing his mother to laugh. "I'll come in and see you tomorrow, alright?"
"That's fine. Just bring Zim."
"Fine, I will. Bye," Dib said, walking out of the room and out of the hospital. He had spent a long time in that room, more than he had intended to. Somehow, Dib knew that it was okay.
"Maybe I should talk to him…" Dib whispered to himself. 'Please, Dib, give Zim a chance,' he heard again in his mind. Well, he was going to do as his mother asked. It couldn't hurt to try, could it?
Dib walked into his house and blinked when he couldn't find Zim. "Figures," he muttered as he walked into their room. Something caught his eye, though. On the table next to his side of the bed, Dib saw a solitary rose—a rare, soft blue one—and a note next to it. Dib blushed and looked around. "That can't be for me," he mumbled.
Though, that didn't stop him from picking up the rose and note. The rose was a different shade of blue that most of the roses Dib had seen in his life, and the note was clearly addressed to him. "I'm going to kill him when he gets home," Dib muttered as he opened up the note. Dib scanned it, noticing that it had been written in Zim's uneven handwriting.
Dib breathed in and read the letter out loud: " 'Dear Dib, I know we're not really on speaking terms right now, but I had to find some way to get my emotions out.' Well, that's obvious," Dib mumbled. " 'I didn't want to leave you with Jay, but I had to get the authorities. I said I had wanted him caught, didn't I? Seeing him kiss you like that sickened me, and to know that you reacted the way you had saddened me. I never wanted to see something like that happen to you; you looked so pained, so betrayed.
" 'At first, I thought that you were kissing him back because you still felt something for him, but then I saw your tears. I wanted to kill him for the pain he caused you, but I knew that I, too, would get in trouble with the law. Please forgive me for not trying to get him off of you; I know I had said I was going to protect you, and I failed in doing so when I ran to the police. But, in a way, I had also kept my work: I protected you from future attacks from Jay that way.
" 'I do love you, Dib, but I'm not about to call you 'mine' until you can trust me again. I think you're afraid that I'll be like Jay—but Dib, I won't. I could never touch you like Jay did, even though you are a beautiful person. I don't want to hurt you, though in the past I did want to. But…things change, just like people change.' "
Dib stopped reading for a moment. He needed to take all this in. When Zim wrote this letter, he seemed to change into a different person. Sighing slightly, Dib read on:
" 'Tomorrow, as you know, is Valentine's Day. I know I'm a bit early with my gift, but I couldn't wait to hand it to you. I needed you to know how I felt. That blue rose was the only one there, and the flower itself reminded me so much of you. A rose, believe it or not, is a very delicate thing. It needs the right conditions to grow beautiful and strong, and if the conditions are wrong, it'll never live up to its beauty. Just like how you need the right to conditions to love and trust me, Dib, and you are just as delicate as the rose, if not more.
" 'But you're strong and so is the rose. A rose protects itself with its thorns, so that one can only admire it from a distance, or otherwise risk getting cut as she or she tries to hold it close. You put up a protective wall around your heart, Dib, so that there is no way anyone can get to it. But, like the rose, Dib, you can be loved, like the rose, and someone can hold you close—as long as you are handled with a great amount of care.
" 'I hope that, one day, I'll be able to hold you like I can hold the rose—without having to be afraid of getting hurt. Love, Zim,' " Dib finished finally. Dib sat down and held the rose carefully, then found a small vase to put it in, adding water.
"Does he really mean all that?" Dib whispered to himself, rereading the letter once, then twice. He felt drawn to the words, and every time he reread the note, his heart did a weird jump. It was so strange that Zim would compare him to a rose, since no one has ever done that before.
"Dib? Are you in there?" Zim called out, sounding a bit cautious.
Without a word, Dib ran up to Zim and hugged him for all he was worth. Zim blinked, then hugged Dib back briefly.
"What was that for…?" Zim asked.
Dib grinned, then pointed to the letter. "Who are you and what have you done to Zim? I don't think you are capable of something like this…" he stated, blushing lightly as he glanced over the letter once more, causing Zim to chuckle quietly.
"I felt very—I don't know—introspective when I wrote that…" Zim turned to look Dib in the eye. "But, Dib, I meant every word."
"I figured that," Dib said softly, his blush growing. "And Zim, I forgive you. I don't know if I feel the same way, but…Mother said to give you a chance," Dib continued in a soft voice, looking down at the floor.
Zim smirked. "I'm…glad you forgave me. You're silence was driving me mad!"
Dib chuckled, then slowly frowned. "You were right, though. I am afraid to love you back. I just don't want to get hurt again. Maybe…maybe, when I'm older, Zim, I'll be able to, but…right now…"
Zim shook his head. "I understand, Dib. I don't mind waiting…too much," Zim stated. "Just don't keep me waiting too long. I'm a very impatient Irken."
"I know you are, Zim," Dib said quietly, looking Zim in the eyes. "And…I'll promise to love you…as long…" Dib sighed and closed his eyes for a second before opening them again, trying to keep them clear from tears, "as long as I never get hurt by you."
"I would never hurt you, you know that, Dib. And I would never rush you into anything; I would never force myself on you. I'm nothing like Jay, but there are times when I will seem like an insensitive jerk…"
Dib laughed. "Yeah… Though, I would be afraid if you were to be this romantic all the time. It's so—unlike you."
"Don't I know it. I had Jazz read over that letter and he sorta just stared at me…then went, 'You wrote this?!'" Zim stated, chuckling quietly.
"I don't blame him. I had to reread it a few times… But, Zim, I do know one thing."
"What's that, Dib?"
Dib kissed Zim softly, wrapping his arms around Zim's neck to hold him close. He could feel Zim pull him closer as well as he deepened the kiss. Once they stopped, Dib blushed slightly and said: "To quote my favorite song on my Nickelback CD: 'Now I know why I hide my love from you some days/No I don't mind keepin' this bottled inside me/You came along and tore this wall down around me/Looks like you found me'."
Zim shook his head. "You listen to that CD too much… You fall asleep listening to it!"
"Oh, so you noticed?" Dib asked. "Aren't you glad that I don't sit here and sing along with it all the time?"
"Yeah…" Zim responded, smirking.
"Good, because I used to do that," Dib responded.
"You do have a pretty good voice though…"
"Stop flirting. It's scary," Dib commented.
"If I recall, it was you who kissed me," Zim said with a smirk. "I think I'm now allowed to flirt with you."
"Do you want to come with me to visit mom tomorrow?" Dib asked, loosening his hold around Zim's neck. "She'll be very happy to know that we're talking once again…"
"Yeah, she would. I'll be glad to go with you."
And that's it! Sorry it took me a while to get around to this… I had a distraction…::points to "Whatever Tomorrow Brings…":: I wasn't even allowed to type things up because that fic ruled my spare time. @_@ But, anyway…Thanks for reading' this and I hope you leave a review. ^_^