Author: Bob'sCookie PM
"Hello there. My name's Marron Chestnut and I'm going to be interviewing a few of my friends. Who? Well you'll just have to wait and see.." A series of "romantic" interviews with the Dragonball characters. Full summary inside/rated M for language.Rated: Fiction M - English - Romance - Marron - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,710 - Reviews: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 07-04-10 - Published: 06-26-10 - id: 6086025
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"Hello there. My name's Marron Chestnut and I'm going to be interviewing a few of my friends. Who? Well you'll just have to wait and see. Why? Because I have been reading fanfic for a while now and, I love romances as nuch as the next girl, but there are a few fan pairings that, in all honesty, strike me as…. WHAT THE FXXXING HELL?"
"Seriously people. Mr. Vegeta and Mr. Goku? My Uncle Juunana-Gou and Mirai Trunks? Ms. ChiChi and Mr. Piccolo? Pan and Goten? WTF? Incest, pedo, yoai, yuri…."
"I realize that homosexuality is socially acceptable in this day and age, but seriously, there are no gay characters in Dragonball. None. Well, there were two: General Blue and Otokosuki. Freeza….maybe. And the Ginyu Squad is debatable-but all the homos were made fun of in the series, weren't they? Yes they were!"
"If a character is gay, good for them. But if not, don't twist their sexuality! Stop yoai abuse! Stop turning every character gay! Keep us IN character, please. True to the original artist and or author's design." Marron suddenly flushed and quickly looks away.
"Sorry to go off like that." She regains composure and clears her throat. "Ahem. I am here to interview fellow Dragonball characters and ask what they think about what these so called "fans" have been doing to our image."
"So, let's start off with hm…." Marron looks down at the clipbord in hand. "Broli." She then smiles up at the imaginary audience. "Ok! Let's all go to Hell for a moment and pay a friendly visit to the Legendary Super Saiya-jin!"
Marron casually strolled down the streets of Hell with Gozu and Mezu as her guides and, if need be, bodyguards. The red oni in front, blue oni in back, she had no fear of rouge spirits attempting on assault.
They lead her to the Chinoike Jigoku (Bloody Pond Hell) where a lone Saiya-jin sat on a small, white bench, relaxed and tranquil.
Marron eyed him curiosly. 'So this is the Legendary Super Saiya-jin. He doesn't seem so demonic.' "Demonic": the word her father had specifically used when describing him to her before. Marron had heard all the stories of this man from the others, but seeing him now, that description just didn't suit him in her eyes.
"Excuse me. Oni." Mezu was the first to speak. Broli calmly looked up. "This is Ms. Chestnut. Oni. The girl for your interview. Oni."
Marron smiled and politely waved. "Hi." Broli returned her gesture with a soft smile of his own. His dark, lowcast eyes seemed to sparkle, his shaggy hair came over his face and brushed over his shoulders, his bare shoulders. No need to mention his lack of a shirt. Or how well toned his figure was….
'This guy's HOT!' Marron couldn't help but think. Then she immediately blushed to herself. 'Foccus, Marron. The interview, remember? The interview.'
She took a step forward and offered out her hand. "H-hi. I'm.. Marron Chestnut."
Then Broli stood up and towered over the girl. That man was so tall; Marron was liteally half his size. He humbly accepted her hand.
"I am Broli."
Marron blushed deep. 'Oh, Kami, what a smooth voice….'
"Yeah.. I noticed." Marron cringed.
'Dammit, why'd you say that? That was stupid! Wait, what am I thinking? This guy's old enough to be my father! Not to mention he's dead.'
Gozu brought her away from her thoughts. "Twenty minutes. Oni. And then you will have to return. Oni."
"Oh right!" Marron gasped. That was the agreement when they first set up this interview. "Ok. So.. Um…." She struggled to keep her thoughts straight. "Interview. Got it."
Broli merely stood there silently with a soft, spacious look as the young woman studdered under his charm.
Marron swallowed the lump in her throat, looked up at the man, still slightly blushing, and yet determind to do her job. "Mr. Broli." she said quickly and a little too loud. She was obviously embarassed and Broli remained, none the less stoic, yet peaceful. Like he had this gentle nature to him.
"It has come to my attention that several fans have been writing r-romance fics about you and Goku." still speaking a bit loud. "How does that make you feel?
Broli's expression deepened as his eyebrows slightly furrowed and his sly smile faded into a small frown of misunderstanding. "Me and who?"
"Er.. you and Kakarrot." Marron corrected, feeling a little silly."
"Kakarrot?" Broli remained silent for a moment. "Kakarrot…." he repeated himself, this time in a low, almost inaudible voice that Marron found totally irresistable.
But she was taken by surprize when Broli's placid features twisted into a demented scowl as he suddenly screamed, "Kakarrot!"
She jumped. The air around Broli began to pick up and gusts heavily whipped around him as his hair began to glow and stand on end! His Ki hieghtened. His aura flashed gold. The very ground beneath him shook and rumbled.
Marron could no longer stand in his presence. She, Gozu, and Mezu were all thrown back. Cracks formed into the ground and rocks were strewn about. Broli's entire physique doubled in size.
"KAKARROOOOOOOT!" the man primaly roared like a caged beast.
Marron sat there on the cold, hard ground of Hell, shocked and so confused. A few minutes ago he was the typical Prince Charming and now, all of a sudden he was worse than the Boogieman, the Devil, and Chuck Norris combined! xD
'Wow, I guess Dad was telling the truth about this guy. He's totally insane!'
Then Marron jumped again as Broli, without warning, lifted into the air in pursuit of Kakarrot.
Silence reigned for the next few minutes, until Marron shook off the incident and jumped to her feet.
"Well there you have it, folks." she said absently as she dusted off her dress. Then she stood straight. "I'm not sure, exactly, what that was all about.. but one thing is obvious: Broli hates Goku." Mezu got to his feet. "Seriously. He's been out to kill the guy since the day they were born. Literally." Gozu got to his feet. "Why? Let's just say that dear Broli has some deep seeded psychological problems. In all honesty, there is no love what-so-ever between those two." Then Marron took an overly dramatic bow. "Thank you."
"Broli?" a distressful cry from Bardock could be heard coming from somewhere in the back. "What the fuck? Dude, why are you chasing me?"
"KAKARROT!" Broli was now froathing at the mouth like a rabid dog.
"I'm his FATHER, jackass!"
"Erm…." Marron didn't know what to say to this sudden development. She didn't mean to stimulate the guy's insanity. "Yes, well…. Let's go back to Earth, shall we? And see who else we can interview."
Marron cheerfully skipped down the road with Gozu and Mezu following close behind, ignoring poor Bardock's pleas for help.
"Hopefully these next interviews won't be so..manic?"
-Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the show, I just own my own antipathy towards cliché, out of character, romance fanfics. Seriously. They all sound the same and they all suck. KEEP CHARACTERS IN CHARACTERS.
Marron: "It's me again. Are there any fan pairings out there you've come across that completely drive you bonkers? You know ther-"
Goten: "He he. "Bonkers"."
Marron: "Shut up, Goten." (back to the audience) "You know there IS! So, send in a review detailing which fan pairing you hate and why you hate it, and I'll see if I can book an interview. Thanks! This has been "Interview" with Marron Chestnut. See ya next ti-what the?"
Goku: (out of nowhere steels the microphone) "Caro, the quote unquote author, prefers signed reviews. That way she can contact you back."
Vegeta: (snatches the mic) "All anonymous reviewers will be prosecuted."
Goku: (pulling on the mic) "What's that taste like?"
Vegeta: "Dammit, Kakarrot!"
Broli: (from the dark corner of the room) "KAKARROT?"
Goku: ! (drops the mic and runs)