|The Milkshake is Done
Author: Sadeyiscool PM
I've gathered this much information so far. Adam Lambert is an evil master mind plotting God only knows. We are assuming we have no time at all to stop him. He wants Bill Kaulitz. And I'm thinking it's for more than just a gay guy thing.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,072 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 07-16-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6147551
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
What's your way of the ninja? Well, I guess you wouldn't be able to answer unless you were a ninja. Odds are your probably not, but that's still okay. The way of the ninja can also be the way of life, seeing as though when your a ninja you don't do anything else but be a ninja. That is, of course, unless your the head ninja, such as myself. But, that's just bosses privilege.
Rephrase: What's your motto, your way of life, how you do things? How do you see the world, what is your perspective? Because I don't have one. You'd think for a world top ninja dragon tamer, master of wizardry and number one beast at guitar hero, I'd have one. But I don't, so far, I just complete the missions they throw my way. Without ever thinking about them. But that was just during the school year.
Now it's summer, and since I worked so hard this school year to defeat the evil emperor Zerg and helped out with the order of the phoenix. But that's another story, another time. You see, I've basically cleared away all evil threats currently existing, or so they say. People tend to lie to me, but they don't understand, because I see through their lies with a special type of magic.
But it's classified. Don't ask.
What I'm trying to say, and don't get me wrong, summers usually cool, but it's boring this year. There was absolutely nothing to do, and with my status and power, I couldn't think of anything to cure my absence of fun.
For me it's unhealthy.
It was only nine o' clock, and I still laid in my bed. A hot June day just waiting for adventure, a quest. Something I just could not find.
It's gonna be one of those days, I thought. But I'm a bendable person, I could live with another one of those days, today, maybe not, per say, tomorrow.
Oh well. Television is the solution to everyone's problems. In a kind of sort of way. I mean, Television can only teach and educate. Subjects may vary.
MTV was the only thing I watched, in the morning, at least. It was full of music videos I've never seen or heard of, but then again, somebody has.
Adam Lambert was on the menu for this morning—his music was playing one song after another. His music videos were interesting, they featured him in women's clothing at one point, a little creepy. With his extreme make up and hair it kind of suited him though, in a weird way. But I liked his music, it was catchy and not annoying like a lot of the more popular songs are.
They would show little chunks of an interview in between each song now and then. At one point they asked him what his favorite color was—he said blue or black—and then they asked him where he got his fashion ideas from.
The lady turned to him, flipping her blond hair back.
"So, Adam, where do you get your ideas to dress like that?" She asked with a wide smile.
Adam's eyes grew hungry, and he suddenly became excited. "Oh, I like Bill Kaultiz's look from Tokio Hotel. He's really got the whole andro thing right, you know?"
The women laughed and nodded. Adam Lambert liked Tokio Hotel, cool, huh? I liked them too, as of a few months ago they had probably permanently sealed their spot as my second favorite band. *
There were a few of Adam's songs I'd never heard before and liked—voodoo was one of them—and I decided to bust out my super bad ass laptop.
It was like any other bad ass laptop. Big enough for fun, small enough for convenience, and a sexy shiny black that reflected anything like a mirror. Of course, it was top secret, because it held lots of ninja information.
My status as a ninja enabled me to download music completely free, seeing as though I was freaking awesome, and I decided to look for some new songs. When I finished that with my secret ninja downloading program, I googled Adam Lambert. One thing you need to know about my laptop, it's not a regular laptop, I said it's bad ass, made by the official ninja corporation. It's like a ninja laptop. When using a search engine, like Google, it will also search the entire web and find websites that may be evil, like, the official homepage for Doc Oc. I'd actually found that at one point, and leaked it too spider man.
My search was usually the regular stuff, because I think the villains had gotten some sort of software that protected them from our laptops, but that's only the big guys, we got tons of low key bad guys with searches, who had no idea we even existed.
But Adam's search proved strange. The first few hits were bio's, interviews, a song or two. But after the first page things started getting weird. I clicked on one interesting link, one that said, Adam Lambert is evil. Why would he be evil? He looked like a harmless gay guy to me.
I figured the website would be bashing his homosexuality, but It didn't. It claimed that Adam was using some ancient magic to do treacherous acts of evil. It really didn't have anything else. I found another website that said basically the same thing, and I really couldn't find anything else. These websites were no joke, their allegations we usually devised by a group of skilled ninjas, wizards, elves. We usually took these things seriously.
I decided this was enough to call Fritz, our computer guy. He was smart as balls, let me tell you. He could hack into a computer in less than a second, and so far no computer has stumped him. We found him working at a library in New York City, and we'd taken him in and given him a briefing.
I grabbed the phone and dialed, Fritz picked up.
"Sadey? Why are you calling?" Fritz asked nervously. He was nervous on missions or in critical situations, but not normally. I figured he was working on a big project.
"I was wondering if your busy." I kept scrolling through all the hits. They all said the same things: Evil, magic, crazy.
"Well, n-not really." Fritz answered. "Just getting a bug out of number 81's computer again." Number 81 (I'm not telling you their name.) couldn't keep a virus out of his computer.
"I was wondering what you could tell me about Adam Lambert, actually." Friz new everything, not just about computers. He also had a pretty could taste in music. He spent time in books and in computers, basically your two best sources of information.
He gave an instant biography. "Well, I know he's a gay singer who was runner up in American Idle one year. He's into the androgynous look. " He sighed. "Is this really all you called for?"
"No, actually, I'm looked him up on my laptop, and I'm getting funny rumors from the usual sources."
"What kind of rumors." I head him shuffle and turn on his computer.
"Well, they all say the same things. He's evil, he's plotting something, he's using bad, very bad, ancient magic. One of them even said he can change his gender." I'd just found that one.
"That's weird. I thought he was harmless." I heard Fritz's lightning fast typing in the background. "I'm getting that too." He used an even more super bad ass computer, one that basically own any super computer ever made.
"Well?" I inquired.
"Well, so far at least 20 sites say he's evil—enough for me—but I just found a really weird one that says he's going to kidnap Bill Kaulitz." I heard his typing again. "And now there looks like a bunch of hits on that as well."
That made absolutely no sense. Who in their right mind would want to kidnap Bill Kaulitz?
"Oh no..." Fritz said slowly, and I heard his typing go faster. "Oh my God." He said to himself.
"What is it?" But Fritz was lifeless, frozen, even over the phone I could feel his fear.
"I found his website. My computer...broke." No virus had ever managed to break that computer. It was virus resistant, it would ultimately own the bug. This was unheard of.
"Did you see anything of it, the website?" I asked quickly.
"Yeah, and he goes by the name, Madam Adam."
First class on a plane never gets old. Comfortable seats, listening to music, eating like a king. Yeah, it never gets old. Being a ninja has it's privileges, and this was one of them. Your probably wonder how I ended up on a plane, though.
Well, Fritz hung up on me after Madam Adam. And I decided that searching that was way to dangerous, and the only thing I could do was obvious. Protect Bill Kaulitz from Adam Lambert. I packed my bag with my usual ninja gear, and hopped on a plane, no questions asked.
I was on my way to Germany, where Bill and his identical twin brother Tom were currently relaxing and not on tour. Lazy bastards. Oh well, this was the start of another adventure, and I was excited. I was too excited to care about two lazy bastard twin brothers.
It was a long ass flight, let me tell you. By the third hour I had listened to possibly enough of Muse to make you hate them.
I was debating jumping off the plane when they finally announced we would be arriving shortly. I wasn't really looking forward to this mission, actually, usually I had a team of skilled or unskilled hands at my command. But this wasn't really official business, I figured Fritz would be too busy fixing his computer to notify anyone that we may have come across the most demented super villain known to man. Oh happy day.
My arrival was short lived. I was a special guest, so I didn't even go through bag check or whatever they did. The air port was crowded and filled with people speaking German, not English. There were German signs over stores, German announcements, German people. It was really quite confusing.
I found the exit—thank God—and checked the map I brought with me. It gave me the twin's location, I'd gotten it off the computer.
It's classified. Don't ask.
Getting to said location wasn't hard. Although Germany was different, it was really pretty. They had a lot of things we didn't, like cleanliness. On another note, America had Wal*Mart, so, we won.
Their place wasn't hard to find. Judging by the group of teenage girls who stood outside of a metal gate, I figured it was the entrance to the apartment. Now, how was I going to get into there? Those girls looked like they could easily kill someone, scratch that, they would, if they got the chance. I really didn't understand why fans were usually violent.
I really didn't want to freak them out too bad, but I had no choice. I hoped the fence from in the back,(It was a seven foot fence, mind you) and climbed the building until I found a window. Score, I epic won that one.
Once inside I listened for the possibility that somebody would be home. I had entered into a bedroom, and to my right there was a vanity, with lots of black make up. This was Bill's room. I heard footsteps approaching, and don't ask me why, I panicked, and threw myself under the bed.
When he walked in it was really kind of weird. He wasn't wearing shoes (ew), and since he was so freaking tall I couldn't tell what he was looking at. He stopped in front of the vanity, and hopped onto his bed. I heard him get snug under the covers. Oh shit.
Silently, I exited from underneath his bed. I made sure it was safe to stand up, that he was facing the other way, before actually doing it. Bill was facing the door, his hair kind of...messy, and he was looking at his hand.
I stood there awkwardly for a few moments, debating on different ways to get out of this situation. To my left there was a closet, and the closet was probably huge, and maybe even led to another room. That was my best chance of getting out of here unnoticed so I could think of a plan.
Getting in an out of rooms silently was easy for a ninja, it was basics. Once inside I marveled a bit at the size. This man had leather jackets coming out of his ass or something—I'd never seen so many in one effing place. I sat down on the floor, and thought about a plan.
Approaching him directly would never work. He'd call the police or whatever Germany had, and in the back of my head I heard the word Nazis. Like that would ever happen. My other option was to watch over him silently, but I wasn't sure I was able to do that. He probably already had like eight stalkers, no need for another. Besides, silently watching over him would mean no contact, whatsoever. I'd like a nice conversation or two, ya know?
I was too busy thinking about this when I heard a gun trigger up against my head. I gulped, I'd let my guard down. I expected Adam Lambert himself to be here but when I looked up I saw none other than Tom Kaulitz.
His hair was in dreadlocks, his pants riding low. His shirt was a disgrace to size. It would fit a whale.
"Who sent you." Tom demanded. Holy snap, calm down, don't shoot me. I'm good, I'm one of the good guys.
Well, I continued to sit in my pondered position before he calmly demanded it again.
"Who sent you." I giggled. Oops.
Before Tom could hit me with the gun, I got up and got him in a headlock so fast he dropped it.
"Hey, hey, hey, I'm good. What I don't know is if your good." I pointed out, confused. I'd be really disappointed if Tom ended up being evil, ya know? I mean, I'd had enough of that for one day.
"None of your business, what are you here for?" He asked in a struggled breath.
I decided to tell him. "I'm here to protect your little brother." Tom stopped struggling, and seemed to relax.
"Really?" Tom suddenly sounded very interested.
"Yes, really, do you...know?" I asked confused. Tom suddenly straitened up violently. He was too tall, I couldn't hold him down.
"I only know some one is trying to steal him." He said, quietly, opening the door to where sleeping Bill was.
"Well then, I'm here to help." I smiled at Tom, yes, I was here to help. Helping was good. It also gave me something to do this summer, ya know?