Author: Svaler PM
She is the girl trying to forget her past in her own way, which is with sex. He is the boy that believes what he sees and what he sees is basically a slut. Then there is one event that changes her forever. One event that nobody believes to be true.Rated: Fiction T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Bella & Edward - Chapters: 17 - Words: 55,011 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 01-16-12 - Published: 07-18-10 - id: 6153225
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: Just a short one.
16. Nowhere ~ Bella POV
It was five am in the morning and I didn't even sleep for just a few minutes. I was in a bed, warm and safe, but I knew this wouldn't last forever. I didn't want myself to get attached to something that was not mine. I was ready to leave the house, but also so ready to just stay in this bed until they had to drag me out, because all I really wanted was to stay, even if the entire house loathed me.
In the top and tiny pants Alice had given me, I walked downstairs to their kitchen for some water. Also, what I really wanted was to just sit in that kitchen one last time.
I noticed the most delicious looking apple and reached for it, when someone cleared its throat.
My ankles got caught in each other and I stumped forward.
"Edward! What are you doing up so early?"
I didn't dare looking at him, and eventually, he answered. "I couldn't sleep."
I nodded and turned, ready to go up or outside or anywhere away from him.
"Hey, I thought you wanted this," Edward said from behind me. I heard him reach me and slowly I looked at his hand. It held the apple. "Here." I shook my head. "Humor me, Bella." I shifted my eyes and quickly grabbed it. "Why don't you sit with me for a second? Come."
His hand was lightly on my back and I quickly stepped away from it and sat on one of the high chairs. He sat next to me and I played with the big, red apple in my hands.
"Did you sleep okay?"
It was weird he was asking such a normal question.
"I didn't sleep."
"You could have told me," he said. "I could have given you something." I just shrugged, uncomfortable by his kindness. It wasn't right.
"I don't know where your room is," I said instead, to let him know I did have reasons. It really made no sense anymore.
"Then I'll show you," he said, getting off the chair and going to the stairs. "You coming?"
"Your room?" I asked with a mouth open.
"Why won't you look at me?" he asked out of nowhere.
"Why won't you stop bothering me?" I asked in a sudden burst of fury.
"Bella, I'm not fighting with you! I'm just trying to understand you."
I crossed my arms and looked up at him. He did not look like that angry Edward, he didn't seem cruel now.
He was completely changed.
"I just want you to be a little distracted. You've already been through too much."
I glared at him, as I knew well enough that he didn't believe me. He had said so himself, but I couldn't remain angry for too long, because I was just so tired of it all. I dropped my glare and looked down on the floor, as I heard him take a few steps.
Slowly, curiously, I followed him as I wondered what he would want to show me and why he was trying to understand me.
His room was way up the house, two floors above the room I had been sleeping in.
He opened the door and walked in, dropping on his bed face down. I stood there uncomfortably, looking around his room from across the door.
Edward raised his head and peeked at me.
"Well, come in," he said.
I scowled and stepped inside as I noticed instantly the grand, black piano. He had a collection of what seemed like a thousand CD's and he even owed a few books.
Who would have known?
"I like your room," I said, too afraid to touch anything. "It's eh... nice."
"Are you done making stupid conversation or would you like to continue some more?"
I dropped my mouth.
"Excuse me, what is your problem? Are you done being a complete jerk or would you like to continue some more?"
"I'm not the one with a problem, Bella," he said, his eyes on my hair.
Instantly I grabbed for it, as if my tall hair was still on my head.
"It's nothing," I mumbled, turning away from him to walk out of the room.
"Don't go, Bella."
"Why not? I'm done hearing you degrade me!"
Edward sighed and sat on the bed.
"Was it Billy?" he asked.
"W-What?" I stuttered at the mention of his name. How could he even ask that?
"Please be honest with me," he said, looking me in the eye. "I have to know."
I shook my head. "You... don't... believe me anyway."
I jumped up when I saw Edward get off of the bed.
"You stay there!" I said, pointing to him, hoping he would actually stay where he was standing.
Edward smiled and crossed his arms.
"Will you allow me in?"
"In where?" I asked.
"My life?" I said as if he'd gone mad.
Edward shrugged. "Sure," he replied. "So will you?"
"Will I what?" I asked hurriedly, watching the door that was wide open. I hope I didn't wake anyone.
"Allow me access to your deepest secrets," he said taking a step forward.
"Ahhh!" I pointed to him, motioning for him to stay there. He put up his hands in mock surrender.
I shook my head. He sounded demanding, even though he wasn't. He was just Edward, the guy that would never want me to lie under him. Besides, I didn't know what to tell him, even if I do decide to tell him.
"I have to go," I said, pointing at his door.
"Where? You're fathers house where you'll probably be scolded and meet him drunk? Your mother's house where you most likely lost your virginity? Some mother you have. Or some random guy who'll waste his time for about ten minutes with you just for sex and then dump you, because he had his fun with the town's slut, Bella Sleazy Swan?"
As he was pointing out the facts, he was slowly ripping my heart open.
"You have no where to go."
"Fuck you, asshole!" I yelled, not caring if anyone would wake or not. I ran out of his room and went to the stairs, quickly going down.
"You can't stay outside because of the rain," Edward said from somewhere behind me.
"Don't follow me," I said, reaching the last stair.
"You can't go to your work, because you were raped... there."
I turned my head to him and glared. One second he believed me and the next he told his family that I wasn't raped.
"There is no where for you to run to Bella," he said.
"Shut up, Edward, shut up! Fuck you!"
I ran toward the door and opened it. I saw the heavy rainfall Edward had previously mentioned, but I didn't care. I ran straight into it and after just seconds I was soaking wet. But that wasn't what bothered me. Edward was behind me.
"I know I have no where to go!" I said, turning to him once more. His hair and clothes had gone wet too. He watched me with a smile, but not a happy smile, no. "I know there is no place for me and that you don't want me in your home any longer! You don't have to say twice, because I'm going already and don't worry, because I won't tell anyone that I was in your home for the night. Nobody will ever know, okay? Goodbye."
Before I could even turn, he had run right in front of me, watching me with big eyes. "No, no, Bella, no, this is an offer." He took my breath away by placing both of his warm hands on top of my shoulders. I had never really noticed before how tall he really was. "I'm not kicking you out. I'm offering you in."
In. In. He kept saying that. In what?"
The emotions running through my body were becoming too much to bear. It was too much for my body to handle and I could feel my eyes sting. I wanted to prevent those few tears so badly, but I couldn't.
"Don't cry, Bella," Edward said with a smile, squeezing once in my shoulders.
"It's the rain!" I said with a glare. How was he even able to see the difference between rain and tears?
"It's not," he mumbled. "Let's go inside, at least so we are out of the rain."
I shook my head. However, Edward was already pulling me toward the door. He had put one hand on my shoulder.
"You might get ill if you stay out," he said. "Besides, we need a talk."
Again I shook my head, but at the same time allowing Edward to pull me in.
Oh no. I was letting him in.
"I can't talk about..." I murmured, trailing off.
"That's okay," he said. By this time he had pulled me inside and was walking me up the stairs again. Now he slowly put his whole arm around my shoulder.
Again, we were walking up to his room and I was too tired to fight with myself for being so weak. Everything was so difficult. My mother, my father, boys, school, this feeling going through my body. I just knew I wanted it to be easy.
"Just sit on the bed for a second and take a few deep breaths," he said, pushing me down so that I was sitting on his bed. He went through a door and disappeared. I did as he told me and took a few deep breaths.
I let my eyes roam through the room again, watching more at the details of the room. I noticed it didn't have much color, just brown and white tints.
Edward opened the door and waved with his hand toward him, motioning for me to get up and go to him. I got up with a scowl and heard water running when I reached him.
"I've put a few towels over there and dry clothes. Have a shower."
The hot damp escaping from beside him was so inviting to take of my clothes and get in that hot stream and forget about everything for just a few minutes. Or maybe a full thirty minutes.
"Humor me," he said, rolling his eyes as he opened the door wider, grabbed my wrist and pulled me inside. He stepped out of the bathroom and stood where I had been previously standing. I turned my back to him and looked at the big bathroom with the tub and huge showerhead.
I turned once more to look at him and he smiled. It still made me wonder why he was being so nice all of a sudden.
"You know, it would be easier if you left, unless you want to shower together with me?" I asked bluntly. I knew he would decline.
Edward grinned and shook his head.
"Thanks but no thanks, I'll just go." I gave him a nod that said sarcastically; you do that. Then I turned my head away from him. "And Bella?"
I looked back at him once more.
"That new haircut," he said, motioning at my hair. My face fell, already knowing he'd say. It was horrible, and that the tall hair was so much better. Perhaps he even thought I look like a boy now. He had quite tall hair now because he himself actually needed a haircut, but my hair was just as long as his, but this length on my head was ridiculously short.
I turned my back to him, waiting to hear the finial blow that would crush my heart. Then I could finally get that hot, promising shower.
"It looks good on you."
My head snapped back, but Edward had left.
A/N: Well I guess next chapter is gonna be a talk.