|V is for
Author: hotforteacher PM
How many words can you come up with that start with the letter V? Our favorite couple tries to figure it out! One-shot, maybe! Rated for naughty words!Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor - Cal L. & Gillian F. - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,410 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 07-26-10 - Published: 07-22-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6166608
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hi there! This idea came to me when I was about to go to sleep and I couldn't get it out of my brain! So here it is! Thanks to Franella for reading over it! You rock girl! I don't own nothing, damn it! Enjoy!
Rated for a couple of naughty words!
(italic words) = the author's (or mine) input
Cal came whistling into Gillian's office. He noticed that she was working very hard at something. "Whatcha doin'?"
She lifted her head and exclaimed, "I am trying to come up with words that begin with the letter V! What's it to you?"
He lifted his hands in the air and said very snooty-like, "I'm just wondering. I was going to ask if you needed any help but I will go annoy someone else. Wonder if Clara is here?"
Gillian exhaled dramatically and said, "Well, if you must help me, then you must. It is up to you, you can either help me or go play tonsil hockey with Clara." Gillian looked at Cal. He was not leaving so she went on, "So far I only have volleyball." (Seriously!)
Cal sat in the chair in front of her desk and rolled his eyes, "That is all you have?" He thought about it for a couple of seconds and then said, "You know, volleyball is a pretty cool word. Really anything with the word 'ball' in it is cool in my dictionary."
Gillian lifted her head and said, "Why don't we make a list of all the cool V words and lame V words." She started to scribble down, "Volleyball under cool." She made sure to emphasize the word 'ball'.
Cal snapped his fingers, "How about veterinarian?"
Gillian looked up like she remembered something and said, "You know I dated a veterinarian once. Every time we would have sex and he came, he would howl like a dog. So I would put that under the lame column."
"You know, I dated a veterinarian and—''
"Yeah, yeah, who cares?" Gillian's eyes lit up. "How about vagina?" (Hehe)
Cal's eyes lit up too, but then they got even bigger. He was probably horny. "That's a good one." He scooted closer to her desk and pointed to the cool column. "That is definitely cool! Vaginas are the epitome of cool. Why aren't you putting vagina under cool?" He was starting to whine.
Gillian pursed her lips and asked, "Well should we put vaginas in general or do you have a specific vagina in mind?"
Cal swallowed hard, "Well for the sake of this list, we should put vaginas in general."
Gillian dramatically sighed "Okay" and wrote 'vaginas (general)' under the cool column.
"How about vodka?" Cal said.
Gillian thought for a moment and said, "Vodka is for pussys but because it's alcohol I will put it under cool." Before she did that, she looked at Cal and said in a secretive voice, "How about you go get the scotch from your office while I put vodka under cool?"
Cal clapped his hands and skipped out of her office. After a minute he came back (still skipping, might I add) with a bottle of scotch and two glasses. "To bad scotch doesn't start with the letter V." They drank in silence.
After Gillian finished her second glass she said, "Alright, let's get back to business."
Again, Cal's eyes got wide, only because he was horny. "Umm… oh I got it! Vampires!"
Gillian made a stank face, "Are you fucking kidding me? We have enough of this vampire shit going around! I can't even go to Burger King without seeing those stupid vampires! Now we have to put it on this list? Hell no, it is going in the lame column!"
Cal crossed his legs, "Well actually Edward is the vampire and Jacob is a werewolf. Or is it the other way around?" Gillian was looking at him like he had just lost his marbles. "Emily is into that stuff, okay? She read the books and went to go see the movies. Don't hate!"
Gillian simply said, "Lame!" She then remembered, "How about Ace Ventura! He is definitely under the cool column." She then decided to imitate the bathroom scene when he was all wet. (Ha! That was a pretty funny scene!)
Cal looked confused, "Don't know what in the hell you are talking about woman."
She looked at him incredulously, "What the French toast? Funniest movie of all time!" She then laughed, "I saw that movie with the veterinarian!" They both busted out laughing. "How about we move this to the couch? My back is starting to hurt. Plus how else are we going to get close if there is a desk between us?" Cal nodded vigorously.
Once they moved everything, Cal said, "Here's something kinky, voyeurism." His smile became coy and his eyes got "big" again. (Wow, this man knows how to get horny).
Gillian said, "That isn't kinky, that is freaky. I LIKE IT! COOL COLUMN!" Cal's eyes weren't the only things getting bigger. (**cough, cough** I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with Venus!)
Gillian snapped her fingers, "I can't believe I didn't come up with this sooner; Van Halen! You know, they are a very privileged band."
"Why is that? They have a lot of money? They have a very talented guitar player?"
Gillian shook her head, "Nope, they got to see my tits. So they definitely go under the cool column."
Cal started to get mad, "How come I have never seen your tits; or your vagina for that matter? I have saved your life on numerous occasions." He folded his arms and pursed his lips, "I think I deserve it."
Gillian looked around, leaned in and quietly whispered, "Cal that will be happening at the end of this story. Don't you remember?"
Cal hit his head with his hand and quietly whispered back, "I forgot; my bad." They straightened up and Cal coughed. (It sounded like fake cough). "Umm, Van Halen is good. How about vanilla!" They both looked at each other, smirked and nodded their heads.
Gillian wrote vanilla under the cool column, "I rub vanilla lotion all over my body. It smells intoxicatingly good." She wiggled her eyebrows.
Cal's "eyes" got big again. (Come on people; Venus, Venus, Venus!) "Now luv, I know this isn't necessarily a word but I'm gonna put it out there." He looked up and Gillian nodded very enthusiastically. "How about… 'va va voom'?" (Finally!)
Gillian put the list down and scooted closer to Cal till she was centimeters away. "You know, I have the overwhelming urge to kiss you. Say it again." Her "eyes" were starting to get watery. (Do I even need to explain? Nah!)
Cal said in his most lusty voice, "VA. VA. VOOM." Gillian's lips were on his before he could even finish 'voom'. After sucking face for a couple of minutes, they detached. He looked down at her body and asked, "So do I get to see your tits now?"
Gillian nodded, "Yup, come and get'em!" Cal started to rip off her clothes.
(Okay, this is going to get M-rated very soon, so I am stopping it right here. Join me next time to explore the letter P!)
If you want you can add more to the list! Cal and Gillian are too busy getting it on!