|Super Hetalia Bros
Author: Crazee Canadia PM
Alfred and Matthew were just playing Mario Kart Wii whenever the idea popped up in Alfred's head - if they weren't nations but Mario characters were, who would be who? WARNING: Weirdness and probably not matching characters, human and country names usedRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Luigi & Canada - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,065 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 08-26-11 - Published: 07-26-10 - id: 6178368
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
**OH MY GOSH THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA I AM SHAKING SO BAD RIGHT NOW! I know this story might not be really popular... but oh well, I'm gonna upload it in case if anyone wants to read a Hetalia: Axis Powers and Super Mario crossover ON TOTAL CRACK! Oh my gosh it is such a good idea I'm gonna die! (LOL JK) So... enjoy this, flames will be burned with green fire and murdered with a hockey stick – and then fed poison mushrooms. **
Alfred and I were playing one of his games on the Wii, Mario Kart, and so far he and I were tied with 60 points each. He was playing Mario ("He's awesome, because he's the hero and he gets to rescue a princess and get laid every time!" "How do you know he gets laid, every time?" "Because he's the fucking hero!") and I was Luigi, ("Well, I'm gonna be Luigi, because he's always forgotten and neglected and preferred over his brother by everyone else." "Whatever!").
We were racing on Daisy circuit (My favorite because Luigi is in a statue with a pretty Princess) whenever Alfred paused the game and looked at me, "I know I might sound like a game nerd right now, but oh well... if we weren't representative of our countries but Mario characters were... how do you think it'd work out?"
"Hmm..." I kept the wheel in my hands, ready incase Alfred was doing this to trick me into not driving and getting past me, "... I think it'd be kinda... weird."
"Well, set your wheel down and let's talk about it!" Alfred tossed his wheel into the chair next to him, while I gingerly handed my wheel to Kumajiro.
"OK... who would be us?" I asked.
"Mario and Luigi!" Alfred punched the air with his fist, "It's-a me! Alfred!"
I laughed, "No, I don't think so..."
"Well..." I laughed, "Mario and Luigi are the main characters in their series... and in ours it's Feliciano."
"Ve~?" Feliciano walked in, "Are you talking about me?"
"Yeah." Alfred said, "We're trying to figure out which Mario character would be us if they were the countries."
"Ve~!" Feliciano laughed, "I would be Luigi!"
"How could you be Luigi?" I spat, Kumajiro handing me back a wheel that was a bit chewed up.
"OK, let me compare him and myself – one, we're both Italian, two, we're both scaredy cats, and three, we're adorable!" Feliciano made a face, blinking at us.
I looked at my character as well as I could from the pause menu, "Hmm..."
Can you imagine it?
Luigi prancing around going; "Ve~! Pasta! Ah! It's the English army, run!"
I laughed and shook my head, "OK, who would be your brother?"
"Romano?" Feliciano cocked his head, "I guess..."
"Mario!" Lovino walked in, "I call Mario, because he gets to rescue a princess! And he's red, like a tomato!"
Alfred laughed while slapping his knee, "Really? But he's a hero! Like me!"
"Yeah, but he doesn't boast about it! And besides," the Italians looked at each other, then looked at us and said simultaneously, "They're Italian!"
"Alright fine! Mario and Luigi represent, Italy!" Alfred called out.
"Who would be England?" I asked.
"Eyebrows?" Alfred looked at me, "You want to include Eyebrows?"
"Yes." I said.
"Ve~! This seems like an interesting discussion!" Feliciano pulled out his phone, "We must have a world meeting on this!"
"You idiot! It's not that important!" Lovino snatched away Feliciano's phone.
I went to say something, but Alfred cut me off, "Call a world meeting, everyone will claim a Mario character!"
So, a world meeting was called, and Alfred presented the issue.
"Are you stupid?" Arthur stood up, "This is childish! Foolish!"
"Aw, c'mon Arthur!" Alfred waved his hand at him, "It's just for fun!"
Even Ludwig agreed with Alfred.
"Alright, fine!" Arthur spat, "Who am I then?"
"You can be Toadsworth." I snickered, "Because you both are old and you both act like gentleman, and you both have wands that you wave around. Only Toadsworth can wave his around and give you mushrooms."
"That's what she said." Peter snorted.
'There we have it! Arthur's Mario counterpart is Toadsworth!"
Feliks stood up, "Like, can I be Princess Peach? She has, like, everything pink, and I, like, love pink!"
Everyone stared at him before agreeing, "Sure, Feliks can be saved by Lovino whenever he gets kidnapped... by..."
I stood up, "Who wants to be Bowser?"
"I will." Ivan stood up, "Because I am big, intimidating, and I want to rule – I mean, well, yeah."
Lovino curled up in his chair, "Feliks can save his own ass!"
"Like, not cool! Why can't, like, Liet be Mario?"
All eyes turned to Toris, who blinked at us before saying, "Because I want to be Princess Daisy."
"What?" I asked, "Princess Daisy?"
"She's Luigi's version of Peach." Alfred said, "So, Daisy represents Lithuania?"
"She stands no chance against Bowser, da." Ivan smiled.
"Wait!" Alfred waved his arms around, "She was kidnapped by Tanaka... Tanoki... Ta..." he sighed, "Kiku! How do you pronounce his name?"
Kiku sat up and promptly said, "Tatanga."
"Thank you, Tatanga! Who's gonna be that guy, hm? He kidnapped Daisy!"
Everyone glanced around at one another.
"Well..." I said, "Daisy... well, I don't know much about Daisy..."
Japan sat straight again, "Princess Daisy appeared in Super Mario Land, Sarasaland was the kingdom she ruled and it is split up into four kingdoms. Tatanga kidnapped Daisy in order to rule this land and soon after the world but Mario saved the Princess and stopped the plan."
"Dude, two Princesses!" Alfred looked at me, "Luigi, zip!"
"So..." Feliks said, "Who wants Liet's vital regions... aside from me?"
Im Yong Soo stood up, "I wanna be the alien!"
"OK, you are Tange... tat... To..."
"Thank you!" Alfred nodded at Kiku. "Who do you want to be Kiku?"
Said Japanese was silent for a minute or two, "Is... Waluigi, taken?"
"Waluigi?" Francis said, "Non! I want to be Waluigi!"
"Why?" Everyone questioned.
"Because, he never gets any attention, and I feel that if I am Waluigi he will get attention."
"That means..." Arthur started, "...you're some tall lanky guy that is a Luigi knock-off."
"Ve~! I don't want knock offs!" Feliciano cried.
"Who's Ludwig gonna be?" I asked while looking at the German.
He turned red, "I'm – I'm – I'm that one Bomb-Omb from Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door! The general! General White!"
"Ve~ no Ludwig for me..."
"Oh! I know who I wanna be!" Elizaveta stood up, "I wanna be that one girl... oh! I know! I wanna be –"
"Seriously?" Roderich asked, "You want to join in this childish madness to?"
"Of course!" Elizaveta smiled, "I'm Toadette!"
"Um... I wanted to be Toad..." Raivis called from his corner, "Toad's... kinda cool."
"OK then!" I said, "Elizaveta and Raivis are siblings!"
Roderich sighed, "I guess I'll be that one Koopa from that one game... wait, was it a koopa?"
"Who?" Alfred asked, "What game are you referring to?"
"I'll be that one ghost who played the piano in Luigi's Mansion, Melody. Only because she played music."
"Oh, we can include Luigi's mansion ghosts?" Peter asked, "Cool! I'm the freaky baby that made Luigi small! Chauncy? Was that his name?"
"I'm E. Gadd." Eduard said, "All because he's funny and all, I like him."
"So the Baltic Nations are Daisy, Toad, and E. Gadd?" I asked.
"We're completely different." The Baltics all said at the same time.
"Oh, well, I want to be that one ghost, aru." Yao stood up, "You know, that ghost that was like, 'Gaweheheh!"
"King Boo?" Alfred asked.
"Yes!" Yao laughed.
"I guess I'll be a Boo then." Kiku muttered.
The other Asians said that they would be Boos as well.
"This is stupid." Vash said, "But... I guess I'll be Yoshi."
"Can I be Birdo?" Liechtenstein poked her brother's shoulder and asked.
"Oh, oh!" Ivan's sister, Katyusha, stood up (Boing!) "I want to be Rosalina!"
"She and you have nothing in common." Belarus snapped.
"I don't care!" Katyusha answered, "And you can be the luma!"
"Fine, I'm a fucking luma." Natalia waved her arms around.
So, after a while, things started to get interesting, and for some reason Berwald wrote down a story plot line thingy with the Mario characters as we called them to be:
It is WWI
A Bomb-Omb German General is walking through the forest, looking for the descendant of Rome – North Italy – who he is supposed to be fighting. He comes upon a box that says, "Mushrooms" on the front, and from inside he hears, "Ve~! I am-a the Mushroom-a Fairy! Don't open the box, go away!"
The general opens the box and out pops the Italian inside, "Ve~! I'm sorry I'm not the Mushroom Fairy please don't kill me I'm actually a plumber and I have to go fix someone's pipes soon!"
In the background, Bowser the Russian invades Polish Princess ("Make it a prince!" "Ah'm, Pr'nce") Peach's castle and kidnaps him after knocking out the English man Toadsworth.
"Like, not cool! Like, let me go! Like, someone help?" She calls.
Bowser the Russian passes by an Italian plumber by the name of Mario the South Italian – who sighs and tosses his half eaten tomato aside and goes to fight the Russian.
In the meantime, the Baltics – Toad the Latvian, E. Gadd the Estonian, and Princess Daisy the Lithuanian – all stand off to the side and shake in fear of the ever powerful Russian that ruled them.
Bowser set down the Princess ("Prince! Get it right you Swedish – ow! Like, Tino that hurt!") and went to fight the challenging Italian, who stumbles back in fear and calls for Donkey Kong the Spanish to save him – thus ends up with Bowser fighting Donkey Kong.
"Like hi! I'm Princess ("Prince!") Peach, like, who are you?" The captive asks, pointing at the Lithuanian Daisy.
"I'm Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, it's in Lithuania." She answered, "Wanna be friends?"
"Like, BFF's!" replies Peach.
Then, Luigi the Northern Italian wins a contest he didn't enter saying he won a pasta factory – but it was haunted. He told his brother about it and his brother went and got himself trapped in a boiler that was sitting inside the factory for some reason, and King Boo the Chinese held him captive with the help of his Taiwanese, Japanese, and other Asian Boos.
"Haha! I have captured one brother, aru!" he flew around in triumph.
So Luigi goes in with the help of a vacuum cleaner that sucks up ghosts that E. Gadd the Estonian made.
He goes to suck up Melody the Austrian because she is playing a weird piano whenever Waluigi the French bursts in and says, "Ah, there you are, Luigi! Weheheheh... time for you to come with me, Mon ami!"
"What the, Ve~! Doitsu Bomb save me!" Luigi cries as Waluigi picks him up and carries him away to have some good (Insert bleep for Peter's ears) with Toadette the Hungarian yaoi obsessed woman and a Japanese Boo following with a camera.
In the meantime Chauncy the freaky Sealandic baby ghost came out and wailed until Melody the Austrian ghost babied him until he calmed down, because the English Toad was to worried about getting Princess ("For the last, like, fucking time, it's prince!") Peach home after she came and rescued Mario the Southern Italian herself.
Then, Daisy the Lithuanian and Toad the Latvian saw his Hungarian sister following Waluigi the French – and everyone knew if that was happening Waluigi was invading someone's vital regions. "Oh no! My sister is going to record Luigi the Northern Italian being effed by Waluigi the French!"
"Not on my watch!" Daisy – who had a huge crush on Luigi – said, calling the help of Rosalina the Ukrainian (Boing!) and her Belarusian lumas to help her rescue the Italian.
In the background Bowser the Russian sat defeated under Donkey Kong the Spanish and Diddy Kong the Mexican.
Then, Mario the Southern Italian and Princess ("If you call me Princess on more time I swear I will – Tino quit hitting me!") Peach rode by on Yoshi the Swiss and his sister Birdo from Liechtenstein happily married while Toadsworth the English cried in his chair.
OK, back to Luigi and Waluigi – who were now inside a French hotel, and Waluigi the French was about to start the foreplay whenever the Belarusian lumas flew in and started to attack him – thanks to Rosalina the Ukrainian following the men.
Daisy the Lithuanian jumped into the room, grabbed Luigi the North Italian's arm, and ran out to Birdo from Liechtenstein to take them home.
Then Luigi asked Daisy to marry him and Waluigi the French died from Francis the French screwing him a lot. And Bowser the Russian went to terrorize the townspeople. End.
Aside from Feliks piping up saying that he wanted Peach to be a guy, the story was actually enjoyful.
"Cool story bro!" Alfred patted Berwald on the back, "Although Matthew and I don't have a Mario character."
"Oh well." I shrugged, "I guess I'll be Dry Bones."
"Cool! I'll be a pokey!"
Thus, started us arguing who would be a better enemy. But, hey, it made for an interesting story, right Luigi – I mean Kumajiro?
"Why am I wearing Luigi's clothes?"
"Because I want you to."
**I apologise from the crackiness in this chapter, but the next one isn't as bad, hopefuly. OK, so, sorry about Daisy being Lithuanian, as matter of fact I actually had some characters planned out to chose Mario characters before I started to type this, and Yoshi was originally going to be Estonia – IDK why. But, doesn't Poland picking Peach sound just right? I mean, she's all pink, and Feliks loves pink. And of course the Italian Bros. get to be the... uh, Italian Bros. I might continue this, I might make Sweden Petey the Piranha Plant! OK now I'll go type my Australia story and what not. **