AN: Hey what do you know my very first Criminal Minds fic without even implying anything femmeslashy. So I am proud of myself! So it was a real challenge to me, and I hope that you like it.

You're the meaning in my life

Title: You're the meaning in my life

Author: Nepeace

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Garcia & Morgan

Rating:

Notes: Written for 'Chit Chat on Author's Corner' / Round 2 - Morgan/Garcia, Song Title: You're the Inspiration (Chicago)

You're the meaning in my life

"I kind of love you, Derek Morgan."

Ever since she said those words when they where gathering their belongings after closing the case on Franklin, Alaska. The words had kept playing through his mind, constantly he could hear the almost nagging repeat of those seven words. Morgan had tried to drown them out once they got on the plane by utilizing his Ipod, but it didn't matter he could still hear them. Seven words spoken so innocently by the woman who he not just kind of loved but really loved. But he, Derek Morgan, had been too afraid to admit it. The strong muscled FBI agent who kicked down doors and chased unsubs for a living had been afraid to admit his feelings. Afraid that she might laugh at him and tell him that she was joking with him or that it was all part of the flirtatious friendship they had from the first moment they met, since that first time he called her 'Babygirl' because he didn't know her name. That nickname had sticked and many more had followed for her as well as for him.

The dark skinned man watched her from afar, hoping to see the sparkle in her eyes. Or the quirky smile playing on her lips while she called him her 'chocolate hunk' or something of the likes. But none of that happened, her eyes seemed empty, hollow even. The sparkle was robbed from them, stolen by the horrifying scene which had enfolded in front of her eyes. She was not like him, she wasn't hardened by seeing dire images of human cruelty which he and the other team members saw on a daily bases. He knew that she usually shielded herself from those images as much as she could. That way she had been able to keep her innocence. She was smiling while she talked to JJ but the smile wasn't real. And he knew it.

It had been two days since they got back, and even though they had their talk before they took the private plane back to Quantico. Where he showed her that she was different then most other people and that she could still see the beauty in the world and that because of that she would be fine. It might take a while but she would be fine, he was convinced of that, nevertheless he could still see that she was struggling. And he wanted to be there for her, even though it might not be considered to be his job he could no longer watching her beat herself up over something she couldn't change.

He walked up to her, he had tried to tell her before that she shouldn't blame herself for what happened. There was nothing she could have done to prevent what happened to the that man. But the words went past her and they didn't hit his intended target. He could see in her eyes, that she blamed herself for not going outside sooner, not realizing that if she had been outside sooner she might have been the next victim.

Sure she had seen pictures of people who had been brutally murdered, in their line of work it was unavoidable. She had even seen people getting shot while they were working the case in New York. But that had been on one of her screens, she hadn't been there directly and she could distance herself from those images.

And of course at one time she herself had been the victim, she knew what it was like to be on the wrong side of the weapon. She had been the one lying on the ground feeling her body getting weaker by every passing second and not being able to do a damn thing about it. She had been the one gasping for air, while the blood flowed freely. But at that time she had been sedated by the pain and the blood loss, she couldn't remember much of it and she survived.

He was a profiler and he knew how she saw the world, he knew the thoughts running through her mind. He knew that in a way because of those factors she could distance herself, she could make herself believe that it wasn't real if it hadn't been for the scars on her chest. But now she had been there, up close and personal and completely lucid; there was no way she could deny that fact. She had seen the pain in the man's eyes, smelled the coppery scent of blood while it oozed out of his wounds. She had felt him leave underneath her hands, her usually very capable hands to prevent a crime of find an unsub had in this instance been completely useless. Because the knowledge she needed had nothing to do with computers or finding information on the worldwide superhighway, the way in which she fought her battles with their unsubs.

The talk between JJ and Garcia was finally over when he walked them and Garcia was about to turn around and walk away when he spoke up striding the last few meters towards her; "Hey Red, you got a minute?" His low voice asked her gently.

"For you Hot Stuff I have many more minutes then just one." She said with a giddy undertone. JJ smiled and walked away, slightly nodding her head while wondering when those two would finally admit to each other what they were feeling.

Morgan guided her down the hallway with a hand resting slightly on the small of her back; "Well, Sweetness if you have many more minutes then just one to spare lets go an grab some coffee."

"You do know that you will be paying for my Half-caf extra shot ..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can order that yourself and I will pay for it. I am not even going to try and memorize that." Morgan interrupted the former blond.

"I don't mind as long as you are paying." She said, with a smile once again it didn't reach her eyes. They stood in the elevator in a comfortable silence next to each other while they slowly but steadily reached the ground level. Nevertheless the closer they got to the coffee shop the more nervous Garcia seemed to become. Derek noticed it but decided not to say anything, yet. They ordered their drinks and sat down in the corner, where they could oversee the rest of the bar but at the same time had a little but more privacy at the same time.

"Red, you still troubled over what happened in Franklin?" He asked her blatantly, he wanted to know the truth.

"No, why..." She looked up and saw the look in his eyes; "It's not that. I listened to you, I heard your words. I get it, I am special because I can see the good in people, in the world. It's just that other people apparently can't see the good in me." She stated before she took a long sip from her drink.

"What are you talking about?" Derek asked suddenly confused by what Garcia was talking about.

"Kevin, I am done with him. He doesn't trust me if he can't trust me after all this time then I don't think that he ever will. In the beginning his jealousy was cute when he went on his quest to have his man to man talk with Rossi. But jealousy right now about something which shouldn't be an issue concerning him is just plain annoying."

"He was jealous, why? What happened?" Derek asked.

"He was jealous of you."

"Me, why?" Derek asked still confused.

"Because I told him I was sharing a room with you. He knows our friendship, he knows our flirty ways. He should have trusted me, but no he was jealous. I could chosen to not tell him that we would have to share rooms, I could have kept it a secret if I wanted. And he was angry about it. Kevin should have trusted me. He knows about the victim I found but when I arrived home he wasn't worried about me. He was worried about what happened afterward when you guys found me. Particularly about your role." Garcia exclaimed with an angered voice.

"What! That is ridiculous!" Derek Morgan, a self proclaimed ladies man exclaimed at the revelation one of his best friends made. However truth be told he had wanted to be there for her, hold her and talk to her more. But he had backed off because he knew that it was not his place to comfort her the way he had wanted to comfort her. Now however he was no longer standing back watching from the sidelines.

He moved his chair closer to Garcia while he leaned in; "Garcia, like I said I kind of love you. Kevin's assumption is not at all wrong, I wanted to be there for you. I can't get you out of my head, Babygirl. I can't stop thinking about you, and I know that it has been a long time since we first met and at the time I was not ready to settle down which triggered this so-called flight response in me. But you are my inspiration. You show me the meaning of life and the importance of seeing the good in the world. And if someone like Kevin can't see that quality in you, then he doesn't deserve you."

"What... wait! Derek Morgan, what exactly are you saying." Garcia said snapping her head up at his softly spoken words.

"What I am saying is that I, after you were shot realized how close I came to loosing you all together and that I never wanted to feel that way again. But Kevin with his geek talk and quirky ways came along and you were totally swept off your feet by the fact that he knew how to handle a computer. I just did what any good friend would have done and stepped back." He moved even closer to an almost terrified looking Garcia and for a second he wondered if what he was about to do was the right thing. Derek Morgan, a man who was never nervous around women was getting more and more nervous by every second that passed. He leaned in even closer and watched while she closed her eyes. She didn't move away, nor did she move forward. She just sat there, her eyes closed. His lips touched hers gently at first. But when Garcia let out a soft moan he took that as approval and deepened the kiss. Garcia responded by hooking her hand around his back holding him close to her.

"Please, tell me this is for real?"

"As real as you want it to be." Derek stated while he leaned back a little and watched his long time best friend.

"Finally..." She said barely audible, while the fear had left her features.

You're the meaning in my life

You're the inspiration

You bring feeling to my life

You're the inspiration

Wanna have you near me

I wanna have you hear me sayin'

No one needs you more than I need you

You're the Inspiration (Chicago)