|It's never what it looks like
Author: Effin4 PM
This is an Alan&Herb fic. Will the finally get together as a real couple?Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,329 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 03-09-12 - Published: 08-05-10 - id: 6209950
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Hey, I just have to say I'm so, so sorry for not updating! I imagine those of you who read this has forgotten all about it already. I mean, it's actually just some weeks from being a whole year since I updated last, and to be totally honest, I've forgotten a little bit of how the story should go. So, I'll try this chapter, and then you can tell me whether I should keep going or consider it a lost case. Here it goes:
"Charlie!" Alan jumped up from the bed with Herb, and tried to cover himself with his blanket. "What the hell are you two doing?" Charlie looked with disgust, all though, if Alan had looked real close, he'd seen a bit of a relief. "I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!" yelled Charlie out, cutting off Alan's halfhearted lie about Herb just checking for some stomach-aches he'd had. Alan stopped and said utterly offended: "I'm not gay!" Charlie raised his eyebrow, and peeked over to Herb, who just sat awkwardly in the bed with his hands around his male parts. Charlie shrugged, turned on his heels and went out of Alan´s bedroom, with a promise to himself to never go in there again. Alan stormed after, yelling, "it's not what you think! I'm not gay!" Charlie turned and looked at Alan who barely covered himself, and the blanket hanging behind him like a ugly veil. "For some reason, I want an explanation, but go and take care of that," he pointed to the bulk under Alan´s belly, "first. I don't want to talk to you while you're all horny on men and stuff." "Well, there's no arguing that," Alan said, and hushed back to the bedroom.
Charlie sat down in the worn-out sofa, and thought to himself that this explained so much. Maybe he could even like Alan now, when he no longer was a failure, but just gay. It was no longer Alan´s fault that he didn't do well with women, and had been so insecure. People liked gays, so maybe they all would start accepting Alan, and he could move out. When he was done, thinking those five minutes of someone else than himself, he started thinking how funny this was. Alan was shagging his ex-wife's new husband. Oh, how he looked forward to bitch about it when Judith found out. Maybe he could be there when he told her. Yes, he should definitely be there.
After some more time, Alan came out, dressed, blushing and with the face of a man who just had an orgasm. "Before you say anything," Alan started, his hands out to calm the already pretty calm Charlie down, "I am not gay!" "Then how do you explain Herb sucking you in the bedroom?" Charlie asked, not so interested after all. Alan started, but Charlie cut him off. "When are you going to tell Judith?" Alan rolled his eyes. This was so typically Charlie. Only thing he was after was amusing himself. "We're not telling Judith! This is a secret. We will never tell Judith. You have to promise me, Charlie, never TELL JUDITH." Herb came in to the living room at that moment, and said with a terrified look on his face; "No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't tell Judith. She will kill me, with her bare hands." Charlie felt the joy disappear, only to come back stronger when he said, "Okay, calm down, I won't tell Judith."
Charlie went out to the bar a little after that, to try and fine something he could bone this evening. Alan and Herb stayed in, snuggling and doing other stuff with each other. "I enjoy this. I mean, I really enjoy this," Alan said, while his feet was being massaged by Herb. "It's so easy. And the sex, I must say, is amazing!" Herb nodded with a little smile on his face. He didn't care that Judith was home alone, that she couldn't reach him and that she'd probably burned his clothes. He was so tired of her and all her bitchy-ness. The night crept upon them, and even though Alan and Herb was tired, they went to bed to do some gymnastics of the more intimate and controversial kind. Just a few minutes after that, Charlie came home, very breezy, and sat down in the sofa. He saw trails of clothes from the living room and till Alan´s bedroom, so it didn't take him long to figure where they were and what they were doing. Just as he sat down in the sofa to sulk over not having anyone else but his hand for company that night, the doorbell rang. He considered answering, but decided he was too tired and too lazy and to drunk to do it. The doorbell rang once more, and when he didn't move, it rang for the third time. Charlie pulled himself of the sofa, with a promise to kill whoever who was behind that door. He opened, and immediately wished he hadn't been so drunk, because this was going to be funny. Outside stood a furious Judith with red eyes, and her clothes were wet from the rain. She took a few steps until she was just a few cm from Charlie´s face, and said: "What have you done with Herb? Where is he! I know you know where he is; it was with you he was last time! And then he came home drunk! And he had been with strippers! So WHERE IS HE?" Charlie raved a couple of steps back, just to get the not so pretty face in focus. "I don't know," Charlie said, his voice thick and Judith realized he had been drinking. Not that she was surprised though, but she understood he might not be the best help. "Okay, you're hopeless. Where is Alan? I want to speak with him." Charlie began to laugh, but put himself together and said that he probably was in bed. "I don't care, I just got home," he added. Judith took a look around the room. First noticed she the trails of clothes that were spread everywhere, and said out loud: "So he's with a woman. Go get him." Charlie laughed again and sat down. "Alan, with a woman? Seriously, who would,-" then stopped, and looked at Judith. "Well, I guess you would," he said, mocking her. But Judith didn't answer, so Charlie turned his head to see what she was looking at. She was looking closely at the trails of clothes. "Is that Herbs sweater?" "No," answered Charlie, but too late. She was already heading for Alan's bedroom.
Okay, that's that folks. I feel like this is a shot in the dark, so you guys have to tell me whether I should keep going. If I've lost the thread, it's no use; I imagine it'll just get worse then. So, help me out here and tell me what you think :)
Yeah, and guys, thanks for the reviews I've gotten so far! Again, I'm so sorry I haven't updated.