|Shards of Me
Author: brookemopolitan PM
Morgana realises that her bracelet does more than stop her dreams. She questions her destiny and realises where she belongs. Arthurian legend subversive. Merlin/MorganaRated: Fiction T - English - Drama/Romance - Morgana & Merlin - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,696 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 09-03-10 - Published: 08-08-10 - id: 6218162
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Ok, here we go... the hate for Lewis was almost universal... Glad i could unite everyone!
What do I own.. ummm...yeah...i told a sleazy guy at work i have a boyfriend named colin to get him off my case...does that count?
Morgana sat bolt upright. She couldn't even scream. Instead she dashed for the chamber pot and began to be violently ill into it. Merlin quickly moved behind her, pulling her hair away from her face and rubbing her back soothingly until she'd emptied the contents of her stomach. He magicked over a glass of water, and with a wave of his hand, vanished the liquid in the chamber pot. Morgana guzzled the water greedily and looked at Merlin fearfully.
"Lewis isn't Lewis." She told him.
"Lewis has been possessed by Alvarr. He assaulted the poor prince as they travelled here, and has taken on his likeness. In the process, he's managed to block my Sight. I Saw Lewis only as he should have been, not this new incarnation. That's why I didn't See any of this coming." Morgana recounted in painstaking detail. She looked up at the crystal glowing eerily on her nightstand. She was certain it was because the crystal was close that she'd had these visions.
"Uther and Theomer will decide that single combat between the crown princes, to the death will settle the offence." Morgana announced. She linked her fingers with Merlin's.
"Merlin, Arthur needs the sword in the water. Alvarr won't fight fair, and without that sword, Arthur will die." Morgana said urgently. Merlin let out a breath through his teeth.
"I guess I'm letting Arthur in on my little secret then."Merlin said. Morgana squeezed his hand.
"He'll get over it eventually."She offered hopefully.
"Good to know."He replied wryly.
"When do they come to their decision?"Merlin asked. Morgana considered the question.
"Not til the afternoon. They'll fight by fire light."Morgana said. Merlin stroked his chin thoughtfully.
"Ok. Tomorrow send Gwen to Arthur. You want to go riding, but in light of what happened, you don't want to go alone. She can't take no for an answer. Arthur will bring me, and you'll need to make sure that you take us toward the lake. I tell Arthur everything, and I attempt to summon Freya to get the sword." Merlin planned.
"I bring Gwen as well, and we both tell them everything." Morgana amended.
"Are you sure?"Merlin asked.
"We're in this together."Morgana answered.
"Alright then."Merlin agreed.
"Is there any point you trying to sleep?"Merlin asked. Morgana yawned and looked out her window.
"It's nearly dawn, so probably not. It won't stop me lying down and trying though."Morgana said. She pulled Merlin to her bed.
"There is no reason for you not to sleep because I can't."Morgana said.
"I'll have to be at Arthur's quarters soon anyway. I doubt I'll sleep at all."Merlin replied, stretching out across her bed. Morgana began to write her dream down.
"Have you Seen Arthur receive the sword?"Merlin asked. Morgana put her book down.
"I've Seen Arthur approach the lake, and I've Seen him use the sword, but no, I've never actually Seen the moment he receives it."Morgana admitted.
"I've Seen beyond today. He can survive this Merlin. You know Arthur. He'll be upset with both of us at first, but his fear of magic isn't as fervent as Uther's. He'll get over it, I promise you."Morgana assured him.
"I wish I had your faith. Arthur is about to find out I've been lying to him for three years now. He's going to hate me."Merlin said resolutely. Morgana lay down next to him.
"It will be a great day when we're free to practice our magic however we choose."Morgana mused.
"Not having to sneak around and lie? It'll be strange. I might actually seem like I know what I'm doing from time to time." Merlin added.
"Arthur and Gwen really will be an amazing king and queen."Morgana commented.
"They get married?"Merlin asked. Morgana nodded.
"Soon after Arthur becomes king. It endears the people to him, because he marries for love, not politics."Morgana explained.
"Good for them."Merlin decided. Morgana pressed a kiss on Merlin's mouth.
"Thank you."She said, snuggling against him.
"For what?" he asked.
"For everything. For caring at all. For not exposing my treachery. For being Merlin."She answered. He kissed her.
"Glad I could be of service."He replied. Time passed slowly, the pair exchanging lazy kisses, before Merlin finally snuck out to tend to Arthur's needs.
It actually hadn't taken much to convince Arthur to take Morgana out riding. Morgana carefully led them to the mouth of the lake where Merlin had thrown the sword in. They dismounted, and Gwen began to fuss around, unpacking the picnic lunch she'd brought (mostly to extend their time spent outside of the city, for Morgana's sake).
Merlin nodded to Morgana. It was time. They waded knee deep into the lake. Morgana reached out to squeeze Merlin's hand.
"We're in this together" She reminded him.
"Let's tempt our fates." He agreed. They stretched their free hands over the water and began to chant. The water began to churn and ripple violently.
"What the hell is going on?"Arthur demanded. He pushed Gwen behind him and unsheathed his sword. Neither sorcerer stopped. A figure appeared from the water.
"Now is the time to answer the question. What the hell did the two of you do?"Arthur snapped.
"We're trying to save your life."Morgana responded. She inclined her head to the figure.
"My Lady."She acknowledged respectfully.
"Seer."She countered with a hint of malice.
"Why do you disturb my waters?"The Lady of the Lake demanded. She looked at Merlin.
"I remember you."She considered.
"My name is Merlin, Milady." He answered. The Lady nodded.
"I knew you when I was cursed."She decided.
"Why are you here witch?"The lady demanded.
"The time is ripe My Lady. Arthur will die if he does not receive the sword hidden in your waters. If he dies, his destiny will never be fulfilled."Morgana answered.
"And who are you to talk of destiny, witch? Your future as Mordred's whore awaits."The lady mocked. Morgana held up her bare wrists.
"I am nobody's whore. I am a servant of time; the past, the present and especially the future. You do not See as I do. If you do not give Arthur the sword those without magic will be butchered like cattle, and those who do not wish to use it will be little more than slaves. Gwen will be barbequed alive as a consort of the prince. I will be tortured and left to rot in the bowels of the castle, seeing light only when I get the honour of being Alvarr's plaything. And Emrys will be taunted for public sport before being trapped in the cave of Neahtid, forced to watch all that will come to pass but be powerless to stop it."Morgana informed her.
"You are a fool to taunt me Morgana Le Fay."The Lady warned. Morgana opened her hand to reveal the crystal sitting on her palm.
"This crystal was a star. At the foundation of the world, it saw a glimpse of everything that could be. This star holds the knowledge of eternity and chose to come to earth to be passed on from seer to seer, to protect the world from itself. You would be the fool to taunt me when I have the power of eternity in my grasp." Morgana replied. The Lady pondered Morgana's words.
"Do you trust her Emrys?"She asked Merlin.
"With my life."Merlin answered.
"What she says is true. The Prince is ready to wield Excalibur." The Lady decided. She waved her hand and the sword emerged from the water. She extended it toward Arthur.
"You are destined for great things, young Pendragon. The sword will protect you."The Lady told him.
"Oh no. I don't want any magical swords."Arthur said.
"Arthur, I know you're confused, but please, just take the sword."Merlin said.
"Arthur, we'd never ask you to do anything that would hurt you, or Gwen. Just accept the gift and we'll explain everything." Morgana soothed.
"Maybe they're right Arthur. Just take it and maybe then it will all go away."Gwen said fearfully. Arthur deliberated. Eventually, he stabbed his sword into the ground and waded into the water. The Lady of the Lake placed the sword in his hands.
"You will be a great king, young Pendragon." She told him. With that, she vanished and the water looked as untouched and calm as it had before she'd appeared. In that moment, Arthur unsheathed the sword and moved to attack Merlin. Merlin quickly used magic to draw the other sword into his hand and they began to duel in the shallows.
"We've got to stop them. Arthur will kill Merlin."Gwen said frantically. Morgana wordlessly waved her hands. Both Arthur and Merlin were immobilised, and try as they might, neither could break through Morgana's enchantment.
"This is how this is going to work. You two are going to put down the swords, and we are all going to sit down, eat the lunch that Gwen prepared for us, and discuss this. It's up to you, but I warn you, I can hold this enchantment all day."Morgana instructed. Merlin instantly put the sword down.
"Thank you Merlin."Morgana said pleasantly. She dropped her hand and Merlin began his sodden trudge up to the picnic site.
"Make a decision Arthur, but I think it's clear who holds the advantage here."She told him. Arthur fixed her with a filthy look and placed his sword on the ground. He made his way to the picnic site and placed himself by Gwen's side.
"This is a disaster." Merlin muttered. Morgana squeezed his shoulder and sat down next to him.
"How long have you been practicing sorcery?" Arthur demanded.
"Since I was born. I've been able to stop objects with my mind since before I could talk. When I was ten I discovered I could use my gifts to clean my room, and by fifteen I could create things out of thin air."Merlin answered.
"And you came to Camelot to what? Infiltrate the royal family and destroy us from within?" Arthur asked.
"Actually, no. That was me who tried to do that."Morgana interjected.
"You're wrong... evil... Unnatural..."Arthur trailed off.
"You're Merlin and Morgana."Gwen pondered.
"And they choose everyday to defy the laws at the foundation of Camelot."Arthur interjected.
"Arthur, why would I choose magic?"Morgana asked.
"I have been well protected and cared for by your father. I am the daughter of a dead knight with no means or connections of my own. Why would I choose magic? Magic is the one thing certain to destroy my life as I know it. I did not decide that I wanted to be haunted by dreams that I live in constant fear of coming to pass. Magic chose me. I was handpicked to be given my gifts, and I will use them with pride. Magic is not a childish form of rebellion. Magic is who I am."Morgana's impassioned speech echoed around the trees.
"It doesn't matter at all to me. I don't care if you're magical or from Mars, you're my friends."Gwen told them.
"Magic isn't evil."Merlin said quietly.
"Magic simply is. It can be used to do evil, but evil still exists where magic does not." Merlin added.
"The only times I've ever used magic were in service of the people I care about. It was me who healed Gwen's father, and I have used my gifts to destroy threats of evil magic ever since I've been in your service."Merlin revealed.
"For pity's sake Arthur. He's the most powerful warlock in history. If he wanted to kill you, wouldn't he have done it by now?" Morgana pointed out. Arthur sat in deep thought.
"You will tell me everything."He said to the two of them. Merlin and Morgana exchanged a look and began to tell the epic tale that was their experience of magic in Camelot.
"Let me get this straight. Morgana, you're a formerly evil witch inadvertently hell bent on the destruction of Camelot, who saw the error of her ways?"Arthur sought to clarify over lunch.
"I prefer the term seer, actually." Morgana corrected.
"Seer?"Arthur repeated. Morgana swallowed her mouthful of strawberry and cream before answering.
"Seer. One with magical abilities who can See the future." She reminded him.
"Which is what your nightmares really are."Arthur confirmed.
"Very good Arthur."Morgana said encouragingly.
"And Merlin, you're the most powerful wizard that has ever lived, and you spend your time washing my socks?"Arthur asked, bewildered.
"Keeps me humble."Merlin answered.
"And neither of you want Camelot destroyed?"Gwen asked. Merlin and Morgana shook their heads.
"What does this mean for my father?"Arthur asked. Morgana sighed heavily.
"If Uther were to decide tomorrow that he was completely wrong about magic and he wanted people to be free to practice it, I would be thrilled. But we both know that won't happen. If Uther has to die so that my people and I can be free, then that's an unfortunate fact of life. But I won't be seeking to speed up the process."Morgana answered.
"So not only will I repeal my father's laws about magic, but I will reunite Albion with Merlin?"Arthur asked.
"Nobody was more shocked than me when I found out." Merlin recalled. Morgana looked up at the sky.
"We should leave. I'm sure the decision will be made shortly."She announced. Gwen moved to begin packing up their things.
"Leave that Gwen." Merlin told her. His eyes flashed and the picnic repacked itself.
"How is it that you can do that, and yet you manage to be late every single day?"Arthur asked. Merlin shrugged.
"Just talented I guess." Merlin answered with a grin.
The four were riding though the Lower Town when a child called out to them. Morgana reigned her horse in and came to a stop. She dismounted and approached where the cry had come from. The oldest child straightened her dress nervously.
"I'm sorry My Lady. My younger sister acted without thought. I'm sure you don't remember us."She began apologising profusely.
"Of course I remember you. I never got to say thank you for not telling the druid child about me."Morgana said. The youngest, a dirty blonde haired girl with piercing hazel eyes, who couldn't be aged more than five launched herself at Morgana's legs.
"I'd never tell anyone nasty about you. You're far too pretty and kind for anyone to take you away." She told Morgana.
"Well, thank you very much. Now, have you three noble citizens of Camelot met my friends? This is Arthur, and Gwen, and Merlin."Morgana gestured for them to come over.
"Hi."Merlin said. The youngest pulled Morgana down to whisper in her ear. Morgana laughed.
"She says you have funny ears." Morgana informed him. Merlin blushed.
"My name is Anne, sire, and this is fanny and my youngest sister is Marianne."The oldest daughter said, desperate to practice the good manners she'd been taught. Gwen elbowed Arthur and gave him a meaningful look.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Arthur asked. Anne tried to maintain her grown up demeanour, but ended up nodding eagerly.
"Sire makes me sound like a grumpy old man. Please call me Arthur." He said in a stage whisper. Anne smiled broadly.
"Would you like to see our cats? Gypsy has just had kittens."Fanny said shyly. The group looked to Morgana.
"We have time. We'd absolutely love to see them."Morgana said. Marianne gave her a gap toothed smile before dragging Morgana towards their home, shouting;
"Mama! Mama! The Lady Morgana is here! And she wants to see our kittens!"
Their mother, a rather small, compact woman, with the same piercing eyes as her daughters received the shock of her life when she came to her modest but tidy sitting room and saw the Crown Prince and his manservant having a tea party with her middle daughter, her youngest giving the king's ward a wide eyed recollection of observing the family cat giving birth, and her eldest speaking to the ward's maidservant about working in the palace kitchens.
"I'm sorry madam, I saw your daughters, and I never had the opportunity to thank them for their loyalty."Morgana said.
"Not at all My Lady. It is an honour to have you in my home. Please call me Catherine."
"This is the only kitten left Morgana."Marianne said, holding up a completely black cat.
"Marianne." Her mother admonished her daughter's casual tone. Morgana shook her head, indicating she wasn't offended by the informal address.
"Nobody wants her because she is all black."Marianne said seriously. Morgana observed the curious kitten, and the way it had balled itself up on her lap and was purring contently.
"Mama, I think Morgana should take the black one home. It already loves her." Marianne informed her mother.
"She's a beautiful kitten. I'd be more than happy to purchase her from you."Morgana piped up from her spot on the floor.
"Absolutely not My Lady. You made sure my children came home to me. You are most welcome to take the kitten home with you, with my gratitude." Catherine said adamantly.
"Really Madam, I must insist..."Morgana was cut off by a distant clanging.
"The king must have come to a decision."Arthur said.
"I'm so sorry girls, we have to go. The Prince and Lady Morgana must be present for the king's address."Gwen said apologetically.
"It was very kind of you to think of us."Anne tried her very best to sound like the young lady she was.
"You have to take her Morgana!"Marianne persisted, pushing a basketful of kitten into Morgana's hands.
"It was lovely to spend time with you" Merlin said.
"Please visit again!"Fanny burst out.
"We'll do our best to. I'm so sorry, but we really do have to leave!" Morgana said. They headed out of the small home and mounted their horses. They rode towards the castle with the adoring waves of the citizens of the Lower Town.
"I'll take the horses."Merlin said as they arrived at the castle.
"You two won't have time to change."Gwen said.
"I'll bring water for you to wash up in quickly."She added. They all quickly dismounted their horses and Arthur and Morgana began the trek to the throne room. Morgana bade a servant to take her kitten to her chambers and she quickly unbound her hair from its bun and twisted some of the front into an elegant knot at the back of her head. Gwen quickly fiddled with Morgana's riding dress before Morgana splashed her hands and face with the fresh water brought up.
"Do we look presentable?"Arthur asked. Merlin skidded into the throne room with Arthur's crown in his hands & placed it on Arthur's head.
"You do now."Merlin answered.
"The Crown Prince and the Lady Morgana are required by the king."A servant intoned respectfully. Morgana wrinkled her nose. She followed Arthur to the balcony of the castle and took her spot quietly. Uther looked at her sympathetically.
"All will be well child. The offence will be settled."He said to her.
"Thank you My Lord."Morgana said politely.
"It has been decided."Uther announced to the crowd assembled.
"There will be single combat, to the death, between the crown princes of Camelot and Anglia to settle the offences committed against the Lady Morgana at sundown."Uther told the crowd. The citizens cheered. Uther directed Arthur and Morgana to the throne room.
"Theomer maintains that his son has acted completely out of character, and thus believes that Morgana instigated the events, but wished to maintain her good reputation when you were discovered."Uther informed them. Morgana opened her mouth to speak, outraged.
"It's ridiculous, I know. Single combat was the only agreement to be made. Any other compromise would have led to war."Uther said.
"You had better beat that pig Arthur."Morgana said savagely, before storming up to her chambers.
Morgana approached Arthur hesitantly. He was inspecting his armour with a keen eye.
"I'm sorry you have to do this for me."Morgana said quietly.
"Fight a snobby prince who is really an insane druid who was apparently half in love with you and is now craving revenge because you saw through his evil plans?" Arthur asked sardonically.
"Yes."Morgana answered meekly.
"Don't look so grim Morgana. It sounds like fun." He said.
"You're my annoying little sister."
"I'm only two weeks younger than you!"Morgana interjected angrily, mimicking the argument they'd had since they were children.
"Nobody should touch you like that without your permission. If I'm called upon to rectify the offence, then I am proud to offer my service."Arthur said. Morgana slowly began to help him dress for combat.
"You're not so bad you know," Morgana told him as she tightened his breastplate.
"For a prat."She added teasingly. She tied his cloak on and straightened it lovingly.
"Would it be too much to ask you to wear your annoying little sister's token?"She asked him.
"Not at all." he answered. Morgana shot him a grin and tied the fabric to his armour.
"Morgana, do me a favour?" Arthur asked,
"Arthur, please don't start acting like you're about to die."Morgana groaned.
"Just listen!"He admonished.
"Don't toy with Merlin."He said.
"How..."Morgana began to ask.
"For goodness sake Morgana, I'm not blind. I've seen the two of you."Arthur said.
"I'm not playing with him. He makes me make sense."Morgana answered.
"Good. Heartbroken servants are a nightmare."Arthur complained. Morgana could only shake her head. Arthur would rather die than admit he cared for Merlin.
"Speaking of my idiot manservant, where the hell is my sword?"Arthur asked.
"He's on his way."Morgana said. Arthur frowned, and Morgana pointed to her temple knowingly.
"That's going to take some getting used to."Arthur admitted. Merlin walked in.
"Sorry."He said. He strapped the sword around Arthur's waist.
"Keep the scabbard on. No blade will be able to pierce your skin when it's on your person."Merlin told him. Arthur nodded tersely.
"Don't die. The castle will be so boring with nobody to fight with."Morgana told Arthur. She kissed his cheek.
"I'm not going to die. I have a destiny to fulfil. Go worry like a girl somewhere else."Arthur teased her. She smiled and took her leave.
The fight had been going for close to two hours now and showed no sign of stopping. Arthur managed a massive blow to Lewis's cheek that almost certainly broke teeth. Morgana refused to flinch when Lewis spat blood at her feet. The crowd jeered in outrage. Morgana was a well loved public figure and such public disrespect was deliberately inflammatory. The fight was back on when Lewis swung his sword so close to Arthur's head he nearly gave him a haircut.
"Prince Lewis is just as legendary a fighter as the rumours claim."Uther whispered.
"He needs to slip up soon. I'm afraid Arthur is beginning to tire."Morgana replied.
"You look like you're about to set the grounds alight. Calm down darling. Arthur has this under control." Merlin whispered in her mind.
"I can't calm down. I want Alvarr out of Camelot. I will not return to him."Morgana replied. The crowd burst into wild cheers when Arthur landed a blow underneath Lewis's armpit.
"That will slow him down considerably."Uther decided. The fight continued, Lewis refusing respite to tend his wound. The fight truly became Arthur's. Arthur continued to work his opponent around the ring, parrying out occasionally, injuring the foreign prince only enough to weaken and enrage him. Lewis began to lose all sense of strategy, striking against Arthur, blind with rage. The soil of the fighting ring was slowly becoming slick and scarlet.
Arthur saw his opportunity. He drew back, and in a motion the citizens of Camelot would call the axe swing for years to come, cleaved Lewis's head clean from his body. The stadium erupted with cheers.
Arthur made his way over to the king and dropped Lewis's sword at his feet. Morgana shot him a huge grin.
"Your crowd awaits you."She told him.
I just want to do a bit of clarifying here after a few reviews i've gotten...yes, i do actually know that Morgana was evil in the Arthurian legend, and i don't really have a huge problem with it. I do struggle to believe that this particular incarnation of Morgana (fiesty, self assured, and sees through people's BS) would be so easily taken in, and really become a pawn or a follower in a great big game, hence me writing this fic. it is subversive of arthurian legend in that regard, so no, at this point i have no plans to send Morgana back to the dark side... if you're that much of a stickler for folkloric accuracy, i'd probably stop reading now
ok, rant over! Reviews are love... follow me on twitter! brookemopolitan (just let me know how you found me so i can accept you and follow back!)