|Desire of a Failure
Author: Kawaii Overdose PM
.:dell.tei:. Len didn't deserve an angel like Tei. But Dell didn't deserve her any more.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Friendship - Dell H. & Tei S. - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 08-08-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6220416
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Title: Desire of a Failure
Pairings/Characters: Dell Honne, Tei Sukone (hints of a one sided DellTei), Len Kagamine, mentions of other Voyakiloids
Warnings: TEI SYMPATHY AND LEN BASHING. And I try to get into the heads of Tei-hating Len-fangirls. It's a dark, twisted, borderline pedophilic place in there.
Notes: I have no guilt over my Len bashing or how I portrayed fangirls. Based on certain comments I've seen about Tei, I'm pretty sure people would actually do what I wrote they did if Tei was a tangible person. Len's just had this coming from me ever since SPICE! (god I hate SPICE!). SO NO COMPLAINING.
Summary: Len didn't deserve an angel like Tei. But Dell didn't deserve her any more.
Like with "Q", please just comment on the fic and not on Tei herself, my portrayal of Tei-haters, or my Len-bashing.
Dell Honne hated Len Kagamine more than he ever had before.
Granted, it was common knowledge among the loids that Dell had never really taken a liking to his shota counterpart, but he had enough common sense to realize that he and Len were cut from the same cloth, and the very least he could do was show the kid some respect. Some.
But lately, Dell mused through a long, lazy drag, he hadn't even been able to do that much.
Dell had disdain for the Vocaloids for many a reason, most of which stemmed from his elder sister or just his annoyance in fan comparison between him and Len, but this new aggravation, this new hatred, came from a very different source.
Of course Dell knew about her. Being a hacker, he was acquainted with various trolls and other computer geniuses by default. He and Neru had been named the unofficial team for finding VIPPERloids, in case they were placed in some harrowing situation (Teto, Ted, and a bonfire, need he say more?), so it was only natural for him to have seen her picture a few times. But he had never met her personally until one fateful encounter in a coffee shop.
Dell had come in for a forced break (in that Deruko had Defoko and her siblings stare at him unnervingly again until he left his office/room for at least two to three good hours) and had seated himself in some corner, when over walked Tei Sukone. Dell had thought she was Haku at first, but her cheery smile and higher voice set something off in him. Something warm. Something new. Something substantial. Something original.
"Hi! You're Dell, right? Teto and the others told me about you. I'm Tei Sukone, it's nice to finally meet you!"
They spent those next good two to three hours together, just talking, like a pair of friends who had known each other all their lives. They talked about everything: their work, Dell's hacking, Tei's trolling, stupid fans, computers, games, everything and anything and nothing.
It was the most enjoyable break Dell had ever had.
He'd seen her many times after that. She'd often come over to see the Voyakiloids, bearing cakes and other pastries that she'd baked for them. Deruko loved her instantly (though Dell hadn't been looking for his twin's approval when he befriended the UTAU). Haku also grew attached to the girl; Tei always had something nice to say to her, about her singing, and seeing his elder sister's smiling face gave Dell ease. It gave his whole family ease. Tei was someone they were glad to know and glad to help, and she did need help sometimes.
Whenever she was being chased by Len fangirls again, whenever Len fangirls had trashed her dorm at Waseda University again, whenever Len fangirls ambushed her on the streets again, Tei always had a room waiting for her with the Voyakiloids. Tei was too kind to let the other VIPPERloids and UTAUs experience the war zone she had knowingly walked into. She often joked to Dell that she was just lucky Teruko knew how to use a sword and scowl threateningly, or else the Public Security Police Operation would be involved far more often than it was already.
But Dell saw through the laughter.
He'd seen her before, numerous times, in the park he cut through when it was his turn to go grocery shopping.
He'd seen her eating lunch: a plain sandwich, every time, since she couldn't risk going home to make herself a good bento or something a normal person would consider a meal (which was why he always made sure she had a near feast waiting for her when she visited. She deserved no less).
He'd seen her get in scuffles with girls: Len fangirls, he could just tell, and though she'd always end up winning and bailing it was never without a cracked or twisted or even broken something or other (he never called the police, though. Only because she told him not to. It would just make things worse, she said, they'd never believe her, she said).
He'd seen her practice singing softly in some quiet little corner: if she sang too loud, they would find her, and then who knows what they'd do if they knew she was singing in that terrible voice (even though her voice rivaled Haku's in its perfection, its beauty, and he would always help her practice with the guitar no one but she and his family knew he could play).
He'd seen her sit on a swing in the playground: it was always when it was just getting dark, and no one would be around there to see some random, sad young woman cry pathetically (but he couldn't help her, since there was no comfort, no consolation in the words of a failure).
Dell exhaled, and his smoky breath floated towards the indigo sky.
Tei had stumbled over to him earlier that night. She was dragging a leg with a bloody knee, sporting a black eye and cut lip, and one of her long sleeves had been made into a make-shift sling. And she was still smiling. She always smiled for him, no matter how great her pain was.
Dell's shock had been at it's greatest that night: Len's fangirls were obviously insane, but this was worse than anything Tei could have done to them, yandere or not. But he helped her inside without another word, and his siblings took over from there, patching up her wounds and putting a splint to her popped wrist. Through it all, Tei continued to smile and laugh.
It baffled Dell to no end, how she could do that. He needed to smoke, to let his mind wander in places it wouldn't normally go. He was an irritable man, to be sure, but this was nothing short than blood lust for him. He wanted nothing more than to see the people who did this locked behind bars, where hopefully they'd be raped and beaten by other prisoners before finally being sent to the gallows or the chair. Suicide or lethal injection would be too kind for them.
He clutched the cigarette butt in his hand, putting out the remaining embers. It burned, but Tei's condition made him numb to it.
He walked back inside.
Tei was resting on the sofa in their living room, watching TV. She was too sore to move much from what had happened, so the Voyakiloids had done their best to make her comfortable. She regarded Dell with a smile and a wave from her good hand.
He sat in the chair adjacent from her. "So, are you gonna tell me what happened?"
Tei's red eyes drifted elsewhere, somewhere lost and in despair. "...I was just out shopping, and I stopped in a store. I pre-ordered the new Len figurine, and I had to go pick it up today."
Dell's eyes narrowed. It was always Len's fault. He'd always named the boy as his scapegoat (it was just easier that way), but whenever Tei was involved it was always true.
"I guess they saw me come out with it, so... they trailed me and when there was no one around and it was dark enough, they jumped me. All my food got trampled."
"...and the figurine?"
Tei sighed, still smiling. "They took it from me. That's how my wrist got like this." She raised her left arm, the one with the splint. Kiaito had done his best to pop her wrist back in place, but he still couldn't cure it completely.
Dell rubbed his temples. "Tei, we have to call the police. This is getting ridiculous. You have to remember their faces, and Bitter Annie can even help you sue if it comes to-"
"Dell, no. It wouldn't make a difference." Tei said. "I'm a yandere, remember? It can just go off as self-defense."
"It's better than rolling over and doing nothing!" Dell snapped. "Tei, at this rate, you might not even make it past twenty!"
"Sacrifices of a successful troll, huh?" Tei laughed. "They'll get bored eventually. They always do. They'll just get a new target. Who's that new Vocaloid? Lily, or something? They're already going after her, they'll forget me soon enough."
"And what happens when they go through the mandatory "new Vocaloid love" sequence?" Dell said -since everybody eventually loved the new Vocaloids, no matter who they were. "What happens when they remember you?"
"I'll have healed up by then. I can take it again."
Dell said no more. They went through this every time, and the outcome was always the same: Tei could take more. Tei would take more. There was no questioning it.
Tei's voice had grown softer, sadder. "This... this is worth it, isn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Len. What I'm doing is worth it, for him, right?"
"...what do you mean?"
"...I'm getting really tired, Dell." Tei said. "I decided to be a troll to make a point. I thought if I did that, maybe Len would notice me. But, nothing I do... nothing I say is making a difference. I wanted to be an UTAU and have a normal life, too. I wanted to go to school. I wanted to sing. I wanted to go hand out with friends and go shopping and be a normal person. But I wanted to meet him, Dell. I wanted to meet him, so I gave that up. I gave up a good life and maybe even a good future to know him. And instead I get beat up everyday. I get robbed. People hate me, Dell."
The UTAU looked down, long white hair concealing her face. "I... I don't want to be hated, Dell."
Dell's anger swelled. This was why he hated Len. Len went about his life, doing whatever he pleased with whomever he pleased, while Tei took on the repercussions of his actions. And it was true: Len probably didn't know who Tei was. To him, she was probably just another face in the massive crowd that swarmed around him, begging for his voice, longing for his touch, asking for his acknowledgment. And Tei didn't care how long she had to wait until she got it. She would take a bullet to the heart if it meant Len would just say her name.
Tei loved Len, more than she loved herself, but she didn't care if he never loved her back. She only wanted him to know she was alive.
Len Kagamine didn't deserve an angel like Tei Sukone.
"Dell... what should I do?"
Screw Len, Dell's heart told him to say, screw him and his fangirls, you don't need this shit. You're this intelligent, beautiful girl, and one of the best friends I have. Len doesn't deserve you. You deserve better then him, and you're better than any of his fans will ever be. You deserve to be able to walk outside and go to school and feel safe, you deserve a home that you can come to and not be afraid your family might get hurt because of you, you deserve a future with people who love you. We can be your family. I can be your family. Stay with us. Stay with me. Please. I can protect you. I don't want to see you hurt. Please.
But Dell's mind knew that those were only the words, the wish of a failure. They would do nothing to help.
"...you really love him, right?"
Tei's head snapped up. "Of course I do!"
"Well... if you really, honestly do, I think all you can do is keep trying." This wasn't Dell's voice, it wasn't him speaking, but the words kept flowing from his lips. "If your feelings are really that earnest... I think it would be impossible for him not to notice."
The UTAU blinked, taking in his words, then smiled. Slowly, she stood from her seat, and hobbled over to where Dell sat. But no sooner than she stood did her legs start to give, and Dell shot up to catch her before she fell. And with her in his arms, Tei embraced the Voyakiloid.
"Thanks, Dell." And Dell could tell from her voice that she was on the verge of tears. "Sometimes I just need to hear some encouragement. It's a girl thing, you know?"
Dell paused, then returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around her thin frame. He frowned in guilt. "...no problem, Tei."
Len and Dell were cut from the same cloth.
Len didn't deserve Tei, and no matter how much he may have wanted a future with her, it was by his own logic that Dell didn't deserve her either.