|Everything In Between
Author: Miss Fenway PM
"Deleted scenes" from my story, 'Little Hollow'. Four chapter fic of moments involving Logan and those closest to him. NO SLASH!Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,111 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 08-28-10 - Published: 08-21-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6260134
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N. I have a love/hate relationship with completing stories. It makes me happy because I can then get started on an idea that's been in my head for weeks. It makes me sad because I get attached to the story itself. However, saying goodbye to this four chapter story is pretty easy compared to saying goodbye to fifty-five chapters of 'Little Hollow'. So here's the last chapter. It's set between C41 and C54. I hope you like it! I own nothing. . .
Logan stared at his reflection in the mirror and cringed. He really did look awful. No matter how good he felt, he always looked sick. His skin was pale and stretched tight across his thin face. The ever present dark circles were there under his eyes. He had lost a lot of weight. It frightened him. He had always been thin but now he looked like a slight breeze might blow him over. So naturally, Logan tried to avoid looking in mirrors whenever possible. It was a lot easier to think that he might be getting better when he didn't have to see himself. But tonight the mirror was a miserable necessity.
He sighed and splashed cold water over his face to wake himself up. He was tired. But he was always tired so tonight he had decided to just ignore the fatigue that pulled at him and go along with his plans. But a self inflicted cold water treatment wouldn't hurt.
"Logan?" Kendall watched him from the bathroom door. His expression was full of concern and worry. "Are you feeling good enough to go out tonight? I'm sure Camille would understand if you guys just stayed here. We could give you some privacy if you want." He studied Logan closely. It was hard to tell how Logan was feeling simply by his appearance.
But Logan shook his head. "No, Kendall. I'm fine. I have to do this. Camille deserves a better date than hanging out with me in a place where we spend all our time anyway. I'm a little tired but I'll be fine for a few hours." He frowned at the face that stared back at him. "My only problem right now is knowing what to do with myself before I pick Camille up. I look. . ." He gave a helpless shrug. "Sick. I look sick and I hate that."
Kendall nodded sympathetically. He hated that he couldn't help his friend more. Just then a thought came to him and he grinned. "I know. Let me go get James."
Camille jumped at the sound of a knock at her apartment door. "Logan's here!" She called excitedly to her mother. She gave herself one last glance in the mirror before running to answer the door. Her heart thumped in her chest as she approached the door. Questions filled her mind: How would Logan be feeling? Would he like her outfit? What if- But every question ceased to exist when she saw Logan.
He was dressed fairly causally like he had told her to dress. But he still looked amazing in his gray dress shirt and nice jeans. A black vest helped hide his thin frame and his dark hair was spiked just so. He stood nervously in the door way, holding a bouquet of roses in one hand. When he saw Camille, his dark eyes lit up. "Wow." He said. "Camille, you look amazing."
"You look. . . perfect." Camille hugged him gently because he still looked breakable to her. She drew away and looked him over carefully. "Are you feeling good enough tonight?" She asked gently. She knew that Logan hated it when people fussed over him but there was no way they were going out if he felt too sick.
Logan nodded. "Definitely." He assured her. "I'm ready when you are."
"Wait!" They both jumped when Janice Sanders rushed into the room. "I have to take pictures of you two." She dragged them both over to the fireplace and immediately began taking pictures. Camille blushed furiously while Logan relaxed after the unexpected surprise and obliged Camille's mother by posing with his girlfriend.
"Perfect!" Mrs. Sanders exclaimed after what seemed like forever to Camille. She hugged her daughter quickly before ushering them out of the apartment. "Now go enjoy your night!"
"Sorry." Camille's face was still bright red. "My mom was a little excited about tonight." She ran a hand through her dark hair. "Ready?"
Logan stared at her for a moment before answering. She looked lovely. She wore a simply blue dress but it went beautifully with her hair and her eyes. He cleared his throat when he realized that she was waiting for him to respond. "Yeah. I'm ready."
"Logan, this is amazing." Camille looked around in wonder at the boat that she and Logan were eating their dinner on. There were eleven other tables besides theirs, each seating a couple. Waiters in white tuxes moved around on the gently rocking surface as easily as if they had been doing it their whole lives. Candles and lanterns were the only source of light, bathing the ocean below in a light glow. "How on earth did you get a reservation?"
At her question Logan smiled. "You probably won't believe me but Gustavo helped me."
Camille raised her eyebrows. "Really?" She laughed. "You know what? I'm not surprised that Gustavo did help you. He cares about you, Logan. All of you. What does surprise me is that you asked him. It doesn't seem like you."
Logan laughed. "Well, what happened was I ran into him the other day when I was buying your flowers. We were talking and I told him why I bought the flowers and he suggested this place. When I told him it was a little pricy not to mention impossible for me, he insisted on helping out. He said he knows a guy who works here." He glanced around them. "I can't imagine who but I'm really grateful for what he did. This is amazing."
Camille smiled. "We'll have to thank him properly as soon as possible."
Logan nodded in agreement then set aside his fork. His hands dropped to his lap and he looked down. "Um, Camille?" He began hesitantly.
"Is everything okay?" Camille asked immediately. She looked at Logan in concern. He looked a little pale. "Are you all right? Do you feel sick? Can I-"
"Camille!" Logan stopped her with a raised hand. "Relax. I'm absolutely fine. I just. . . I just wondering if you wanted to dance." The words spilled out in a hurry and he blushed and then nervously waited for her reply.
Instead of speaking, Camille stood up and grabbed his hands, leading him off the boat to the docks were several people were dancing to a small instrumental group. The two fell into an easy rhythm and Camille allowed her head to rest lightly on Logan's shoulder.
"I know I already said this tonight but you really do look beautiful." Logan whispered in her ear. "I mean, you always do but tonight is special."
Camille lifted her head to meet his gaze. She loved his eyes. "Thanks but I feel pretty unspectacular next to you. I didn't know you had it in you."
Logan laughed again and Camille closed her eyes to capture the sound. "James helped me." He admitted. "I had no idea what to do. Back in Minnesota I only went out on double dates with him and one of his girlfriends. You and I have done some things together but I wanted tonight to be different."
"I guess I have to thank James then as well as Gustavo." Camille said softly.
"I have a lot of people to thank." Logan said as he turned from Camille to gaze out at the ocean. She followed him as he walked to the edge of the dock and sat down. Impulsively, he took her hand in his and laced their fingers together. "No matter what happens, there will always a part of me that will wonder what I did to deserve the people I have in my life."
Camille watched him as he spoke. "You're a special person, Logan. You deserve your friends."
"Do I deserve you?" Logan looked at her, his eyes bright with sudden tears. "Because I don't understand how I do." He went on before Camille could say anything. "It's how I feel about a lot of relationships in my life. As much as I try to forget about what happened with my dad I don't think I ever will. It makes me question what I have."
"Logan, I'm sure your friends have told you this but the only relationship that you didn't deserve to have was the one you had with your dad." Camille said firmly. "But," She added softly. "I can understand why you feel the way you do. Not that I know from personal experience or anything. It just makes sense."
"You always understand." Logan said gratefully. "The guys. . . I don't know. They're my best friends but they just can't look past what happened between me and my dad to understand. Kendall always hated him because he thinks he has to protect us all from getting hurt." He shook his head. "I guess in some ways Kendall wasn't just my best friend. He took care of me enough to be a kind of father figure."
"What exactly do Carlos and James think about you and your dad?" Camille asked curiously. Kendall was indeed the protector of the group but James was also extremely passionate and Carlos was as loyal as anyone could be.
"Carlos doesn't like to hurt my feelings. He's more sensitive than James and Kendall because he knows I don't want them to hate my dad. If I don't want to talk about it, he usually doesn't push too much. James, I guess is in the middle. It honestly depends on how he's feeling. James doesn't really have much control over his emotions." Logan frowned. "It worries me. He doesn't care about himself enough."
Camille rolled her eyes. "None of you do. That's why you deserve each other."
Logan smiled a little. "Oh, so that's why I deserve you right?"
"No," Camille shook her head. "I think we deserve each other because neither one of us thinks we deserve the other."
Camille and Logan sat on the beach together. The cool night wind blew over the ocean making the waves appear more ferocious than usual. After they had finished talking they had danced to a few songs before they wandered down to the sand where they could be alone.
Logan felt goosebumps on his arms but ignored them. Tonight was too perfect to ruin by getting cold and leaving. His gaze shifted from the enormous ocean to the vast expanse of sky overhead. "Do you ever feel. . . I mean have you ever looked at the sky or the ocean and noticed how big they both are?"
Camille leaned into the arm Logan had wrapped around her shoulders and turned his question over in her mind. "Yeah." She answered. "It scares me sometimes. Because you can't see the end."
"When we were fourteen James almost drowned." Logan said suddenly. "We were fishing and the canoe tipped us both out. I was fine but he caught his foot in an old fishing line or something. I had to use his pocket knife and pull him out." He shuddered at the memory. "For so long after that I was afraid of the water. It almost took my best friend away."
"I think that's how they all feel about you and your cancer, Logan." Camille said quietly. "Water can be so dangerous. Drowning has always been one of my biggest fears because you have to give up. But cancer is the same way. It's not like an accident or something horrible like a murder then you don't have a choice in the matter. You have to let it beat you."
Logan tightened his grip on Camille. "That's why I'm so grateful towards everyone." His voice caught in his throat. "I would have given up a long time ago. I would have taken a deep breath underwater and let myself drown. Figuratively speaking of course. I would have let the cancer win because there would be no point to living. But I have so many reasons to live that I can't give up now."
Camille felt her own eyes fill with tears. "Please don't ever give up." She whispered. "I need you. We all need you."
"Right now you do but maybe later you'll be ready." Logan replied. But his words were so soft that only he could hear them.
"Sorry, I didn't hear you." Camille sat up to face Logan. "What did you say?"
Logan swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I was just wondering if you ever looked at something like the sky or the ocean and. . ." He trailed off again as he searched for words. "See, I look at them and wonder if my life is significant at all. The world is so big and I'm just one person. You know? Why would my life matter so much?"
"Logan," Camille said, the tears now running silently down her face. "Everyone's life is significant in one way or another. You've impacted so many people's lives. You just sat here and told me that you saved James' life when you were fourteen. Isn't that significant? James would be dead right now." She watched as he flinched noticeably at her words. "See?" She laid her head on his shoulder. "Everyone matters somehow."
Logan shifted his position so that Camille had to sit up. His face was serious and thoughtful as he studied her.
"Is something wrong?" Camille almost hated herself for asking the question but she couldn't help herself. She knew that Logan was fine but it was still a relief when he shook his head. "What's on your mind then?"
She was so beautiful. Logan stared at her face that was illuminated by the full moon. Before he could think about what he was doing, he leaned forward and kissed Camille on the lips.
It had always been Camille who kissed Logan. He was much to shy to do anything so bold. But his kiss was gentle and when he pulled away he spoke the three words that Camille had always longed to hear.
"I love you."
A/N. Ahem. I love how I can write something like C3 of 'Three' and this on the same day. I win. Or maybe I fail. I probably fail. Lol. Gosh, that was so freaking sappy I almost died writing it. Anyway, another story has come to an end. YAY! Tomorrow I'll post C4 of 'Three' and C1 of my newest story, 'Innocence Lost'. Please review this final chapter!