Author: PacificRomance PM
"You were never what I wanted, you have to know that. Blair always was and will be the only one for me."Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chuck & Blair - Words: 1,183 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 08-27-10 - Status: Complete - id: 6275519
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: A new chapter for Being There is already underway, it should be done soon. But this had to be written first.
Blair was halfway through her final year at Columbia, and she couldn't be happier. She was going to graduate in the top ten of her class and her and Chuck were the happiest they had ever been. It had been a long bumpy road, but their relationship had finally reached a place where there was truly nothing that could come between them and their love for each other.
Then Eva returned.
They weren't sure why she was back in town and she never made any move to contact either of them, but Blair saw her walking through the streets one day when she was shopping with Serena and then that weekend she showed up at the charity gala she was attending with Chuck.
She didn't seem bitter or resentful, but Blair couldn't help but observe how she kept looking over at Chuck. He was aware of it as well, and although the looks seemed more curious than lustful, Chuck could tell they were making Blair uneasy so he decided to handle it.
He excused himself from Blair's side and approached the French woman across the room. "Hello, Eva," He said politely, "It's nice to see you again."
"It is great to see you too, Charles." She said with a kind smile.
Chuck took a deep breath and decided to skip further pleasantries and get right to the heart of the matter, "Why are you here? It has been over two years, surly you are not hoping-"
"I didn't come here for you," Eva interrupted, "A good friend of mine runs the charity that is being honored tonight. I came to support her."
Chuck nodded. He knew she was speaking the truth; Eva had never been one to tell lies, "Be that as it may, I've noticed your gaze drifting in my direction on multiple occasions this evening. And more importantly, Blair has noticed as well."
He held up a hand to quiet her explanation, "Look, I only came over here to say a few short words. I just want to clear up a few things." He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose before he began, "You were never what I wanted, Eva, you have to know that. Blair always was and will be the only one for me."
He looked at her sincerely as he continued, "But you know that I did love you in a way. When we were together I was completely committed to you. I gave all that I gave to our relationship because I needed you. I'm not sorry that I met you and I won't apologize for what we had; not to you, not to Blair, not to anyone. You helped me heal. You helped me become better. You helped shape me into who I am now, and I wouldn't give that back."
He pursed his lips and looked down for a moment before he met her gaze again with a strong glint in his eyes, "But at the same time, I'm not sorry that it's over. I'm not sorry that it ended or that you left or that I haven't heard of you since your departure. I love Blair. I always have. That guy that I was with you, he is dead. He wasn't really me; or rather, he was a shell of who I really am."
"I know," Eva said softly, "I could tell, even then, that you weren't showing me all of you. I understand why though. It was always about her." She smiled sadly, "But don't you ever wonder what we could have been if she wasn't in the picture?"
"No," Chuck said quickly with a shake of his head, "I can't. She has always been it for me. Whenever I think of the future, she is all that I've ever been able to see." A small grin formed on his face as he added, "We're engaged."
"Thank you," He said genuinely, "We have gone through a lot, but Blair and I have come out of it all stronger than ever. I don't mean to be harsh with you, but I want you to realize that even when we were together this, the life that I have now, is what I wanted. Everything else was just steps to get here. You are a great girl, Eva, but I don't look back on our relationship fondly, only because I don't look back on it at all. When I think of that time in my life all I can remember is the pain of not having Blair. I didn't come over here with the intention to hurt you-"
"You're not." Eva said with her smile still firmly in place, though it was a bit more strained, "You love her, just like you did back then. I knew that even when you were proclaiming your love to me that you loved her more. I just-, I'm glad to see you finally got what you wanted. You deserve to be happy. Despite what you may think, you have always been a good man, Charles. You just had to learn to let yourself be that man." She placed her hand on his arm gently, "Good-bye, Charles."
He didn't say anything but he nodded slightly as she walked around him.
When he returned to Blair after the conversation with Eva, she looked up at him with a raised brow, "What did you say to her?" She asked with more curiosity than jealousy. She knew that Chuck loved her, only her, and that no one, not even Eva, could get in the way of what they had.
"The truth," He said simply. When Blair kept staring at him expectantly he sighed and continued, "I love you. You were always my future. She is just a part of my past; a past that I have no desire to recall or relive."
Eva had emerged from the coat check and Blair saw her exiting the event, "You weren't mean to her, were you?" She asked Chuck, "She didn't do anything. All she ever did was love you."
He flinched slightly at the words that she had once used in reference to herself, "No, at least, I tried not to. She needed to know the truth, and now she does."
Blair leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek, "Let's go get a drink, then let's get out of here. How does that sound?"
"There's one thing I have to say so I'll be brave; You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave. I'm not sorry I met you; I'm not sorry it's over; I'm not sorry there's nothing to save" – "Your Ex-Lover Is Dead" by Stars